Crossing Timestreams
by SarBrook
Summary: A malfunctioning vortex manipulator. A confused girl. Lots of spoilers.
1. 1: The Impossible Astronaut  Part One

**Disclaimer: The only thing that is mine is the general concept and any original characters/situations.**

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**The Impossible Astronaut**

**Part One**

I'm on a beach.

This might not seem all that interesting. I mean, people go to beaches everyday. To swim, to catch some rays, to surf. Beaches are common enough that it doesn't sound weird.

Well, here's where the weirdness happens.

Literally two seconds ago, I was dancing with my new boyfriend in the club. At a costume party. At night.

Now I'm at a beach. In the daylight. No new boyfriend in sight. Just four people having a picnic.

No exaggeration. Well, now it's been about ten seconds, but you get the idea. 

Two hours ago, I was running around my apartment, zipping up the puffy white jacked and squeezing myself into the thick brown belt before Daniel picked me much. Daniel, my hot English boyfriend—Eee, still love saying that!—had a thing for actually showing up on time, something I've never really been able to accomplish. Punctuality, thy name is anything but Lillian Meyers.

Ding-dong!

"Ah, crap," I zipped up my knee high brown boot. "Coming," I yelled as I stubbed my toe on the edge of my couch. I blew a blonde curl from the wig out of my face, pulled the toy gun out of it's holster, held it up like I'm one of Charlie's Angels, and opened the door.

Standing there, in a blue suit with red pinstripes and red Converse sneakers, his brown hair all sticky-upy, Daniel grinned at me.

"Hello, sweetie," I grinned back.

Daniel leaned in and kissed me. Man, knocks me off my feet every time. "Hello," he whispered against my lips.

I tipped my head up and kissed him back, the pulled away and looked into his blue eyes. "Mm, Doctor, I've always wanted to kiss you." I go back in for a quick, intense kiss.

He started laughing, breaking the kiss. "That has to be the nerdiest thing I have every heard."

"Says the man who introduced me to the show."

"I'm British. I'm allowed to watch it without being a nerd."

I pushed his shoulder. "Oh, whatever."

He just grinned and kissed my forehead. "Ready, River Song?" he asked. I nodded, smoothing the wrinkles from my tight brown pants. "Well, then… Allons-y!" 

Daniel and I were dancing. I spent the better part of the night running my hands through his hair. He didn't normally wear it like that, and, let me tell you I was enjoying it. I was thinking about trying to convince him to wear it like that from now on when my wrist starting burning.

It wasn't intense or anything. However, it did sting.

I tried loosening the strap of my vortex manipulator, but it didn't help. I spent maybe five minutes trying to scratch under the leather band.

"You ok, love?" Daniel asked after I stopped dancing. And by asked, I mean yelled over the techno blasting from the speaker.

"I think I'm having an allergic reaction or something," I yelled into his ear. "The vortex manipulator is, like, burning me." God dammit, Ebay! That's what I get for buying the cheapest, already open toy I could find. "I'm gonna run to the bathroom."

He nodded, kissed my left hand—the burning one—and let me go.

I didn't know that would be the last time I would see him.

Or so I assume.

I knocked past a couple of Snookies, "sexy" bunnies, and someone in a clown mask. I pushed the black door to the restroom, itching under the brown leather of the toy vortex manipulator. The ladies room was magically empty. The pounding bass dulled in intensity once the door closed.

I leaned against the cleanest of the two dirty sinks, which isn't saying much, and tried to undo the watch strap. The little tooth thing would not leave the leather. Groaning, I pulled on it as hard as I could, to no avail. The heat intensified, spreading through my whole body.

_Ok, how to remove leather?_

That was my last thought before the world disappeared. I might have blinked. I might not have. Either way, I was in a bathroom and then I was on a beach. 

I fall to my knees, my hands sliding into the hot sand. My lungs burn, breath coming out in shallow gasps.

Excuse me while I go have a wicked panic attack.

There has to be an explanation for this. Right? I mean, ok, let's think logically. Of course, the first thing that pops into my head is that season of _Alias_ where Sydney appears in an alley with no memory of the past year or so. Maybe something like that happened. Maybe I just lost my memory!

Oh yeah, ok, because that is so great!

Quivering, I look around. Sand. Water. More sand. A red car that looks like it's from the 50's or something. Four people lounging on a picnic blanket.

One of them is waving at me. Like, ecstatically. I check behind me, because I'm sure there must be someone there, but no, it's just sand and big sandy hills.

From this distance, I can't make the people out. The one who was waving is standing, walking across the blanket towards me, probably spilling something, if the shouts of his companions are any indication.

I stand, slipping in the sand.

The leather band is cool against my wrist.

Sweat drips down my back. I realize that I'm wearing a thick white jacket in the desert, but I can't move my arms. I mean, I'm sure I could, however I just can't make myself move anymore.

Oh, god, am I paralyzed now?

The person is closer. Brown hair parted to the right. Tweed jacket. Bow tie.

Wait.

What?

"Lily!" the man, because it is a man, exclaims my name and pulls me into a tight hug.

I scream. I push against the tall man's shoulders. He lets go of me and I stumble back and falling once more into the sand.

You ever have one of those moments where everything makes sense, but your mind can't seem to grasp it? Kinda like when there's a word you can't think of, but you know what it means, and you can think of other words that mean the same thing or sound similar, but that one word is completely lost?

The man stops and frowns, the look lessening into a straight face. "Lily," he states, the most un-emotional anyone has ever stated my name. "What's the password?"

That English accent, so familiar and yet so foreign, holds no emotion. And, yet, somehow, all the emotion in the universe.

"P-password?" I crab walk away from this familiar man. "How do you know my name?"

His shoulders fall and he takes a step back. "You don't know who I am?"

I shake my head back and forth. "You look like the Doctor."

The words spill from my mouth, despite the ridiculousness of the whole situation because of course, _of course_ I know who he is, but the synapses seem to be a little slow today.

A brief twitch from the corner of his mouth, eyes all sadness. "The password is banana."

"Talk about a non sequitur," I grumble, standing back up, wiping sand from my brown tights. "Where am I?"

"Ah, now that is a good question," he says, perking up. "You are standing next to the majestic Lake Powell in Utah. The state, not the country. That doesn't happen for, oh, a few more centuries."

I nod. Cause this all makes so much sense. Really. I glance all around me, taking in the water, the sun, the sand. The three people clearly staring at up from a picnic, next to a red car. The male. The red haired female. The curly haired woman.

"Am I at, like, a convention or something?" I'm grasping at air here. This just is not possible.

He just looks at me. "Lillian Meyers, think harder."

I look into his old, old eyes. "How do you know my name?"

"I know more then just your name," he takes a step closer. He reaches out and slowly pulls the bobby pins from the blonde curly wig off my head. I know my hair is plastered to my head in ugly pin curls, but I let him pull the wig off anyway. "Though the wig is an interesting touch. I didn't realize this was how you were dressed when you first met me." He balls the wig up and shoves it into his pocket. His tweed jacket does not bulge from the load.

_Because his pockets are bigger on the inside_.

"Ok, hey there, Mister," I hold my hands up and take a step back. Just call me Cleo, because I am swimming down denial. A piece of my straight brown hair falls out of a pin curl and tickles the back of my sweaty neck. "Don't touch me. And give me my wig back. My hair looks terrible."

He laughs, a sort of "Ha, haaaaah." He pulls his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and points it at me. "So today of all days is the day we met for your first time. I remember how the rest of this day goes. You'll be fine. Well," he stops sonic-ing me and regards his screwdriver. "In some sense of the word."

The heat is killing me. How is he not overheating in his tweed jacket? I pull the thick brown belt off from my middle. There. Much better. I unzip the white jacket and blissful cool arm rushes against my skin.

"You're really staying in character here," I say as I remove the jacket, reveling in the feeling of the sun against my bare shoulders. The black tank top was a good last minute thought earlier. "Your 11 is impeccable."

He places his finger against his lips. "Shh. I know you don't believe me now, but you will. Listen to me, Lily." He grips my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes. "Never tell me what you know. You'll break that rule at some point, but you have to remember it, Lil. Your life depends on it."

I blink.

This guy is psycho.

I push him off me and pull the fake gun out of its holster, pointing it at him. Heavier then I remember. "Listen, Space Man," I snarl. "I told you not to touch me."

Ok, yeah, holding a guy clearly a few cards short of a deck at gunpoint with a fake futuristic gun is not a good idea. Sue me. I'm clearly insane as well.

The man puts his hands in the air. Seriously, did the gun suddenly gain weight? My arm starts to fall. "You're not going to kill me," he says, voice calm. "You know this isn't how it happens."

I point the toy straight at his forehead. "Watch me."

I don't know what my plan was. Shoot a foam dart at him and run away, I guess. But that's not what happens.

A loud noise, like a laser firing in a sci-fi movie. A bright shot of blue light.

I scream.

The man dodges to the left.

I drop the clearly no longer fake gun.

I fall to my knees.

This is real. This is happening. This is so messed up.

"Doctor," I whisper.

"Yes, Lily?" He crawls towards me, not a scratch on him. Clearly I'm a terrible shot, even at close distances.

"How is this possible?" My eyes start to tear up. I don't know why. That's just my instinctual reaction to anything overly emotional and confusing.

The Doctor lifts up my chin. A small smile creeps into his ancient eyes. "Spoilers."


	2. 1:  The Impossible Astronaut  Part Two

.1.

The Impossible Astronaut

Part Two

"Doctor!"

The Scottish voice, very familiar, causes me to look up. The three picnic goers are running towards us. The curly blonde is pointing a gun at me.

No, wait. Stop being stupid, Lily. You know who these people are.

"I'm all right!" the Doctor says, stepping away from me. His three companions stop short of us, out of breath.

Amy Pond looks at me with wide eyes. "Lily, what are you doing?" Rory Williams is holding her back. Her eyes are blazing with anger. She clearly wants to hit me. I can't say I blame her.

River Song looks me up and down. "I know that look. It's the same look you all gave me the first time we met."

"Yes, Lily here does not know us yet," the Doctor stands up and straightens his bow tie. "So be careful what you say. You know the rules." He turns back to me as River holsters her revolver. Rory runs his hands in circles around Amy's back. The Doctor holds his hand out to me.

"Come with me."

Three words I never would have believed I would have heard from his lips. Not that I thought that I would ever hear any words from his lips. He is the Doctor, after all. Fiction. Impossible.

But my hand is in his and he's guiding me towards the picnic. The gun is heavy in the holster. He gave it back to me, mumbling something about needing it later, then scolded me to never use it. He waved a finger in my face like an angry parent, then smiled, squeezed my hand, and pulled me with him. 

Moments later we are all sitting at the picnic. The Doctor pours me a glass of wine and I toss it back. Blehh. I stick my tongue out and try not to gag.

"Ah, the moon! Look at it!" The Doctor beams up at the sky. "Of course, you lot did more than look, didn't you? Big silvery thing in the sky, you couldn't resist it. Quite right."

"So I'm going to travel with you," I interrupt. I can't help it. I have a strange sense of deja vu.

The Doctor tweaks my nose. "Spoilers."

"The moon landing was in '69," Rory states. "Is that where we are going?"

BAM!

That's when it hits me. I mean, really hits me. Hello, obvious.

Moon landing. 1969. We're at a picnic. On a beach. In Utah.

_The Impossible Astronaut_.

This is where the Doctor dies.

In my near catatonic state, as my heart starts beating faster then it ever should, a pickup truck pulls up. The Doctor stands and waves at the man who gets out of the truck.

No. No, no, no.

This can't happen. This won't happen. I can stop it.

"Oh my god," River jumps up, followed by Rory.

I don't want to turn around. I don't have to. I've seen this episode a few times. I know what is behind me.

"Doctor," I whisper. He looks down at me and pushes a lock of matted hair off my forehead. Strangely enough, I remember that my hair is still in pin curls and I'm suddenly self conscience. I mean, I know it's silly, but he knows me, even if I don't know him, and this is the last time he's going to see me. I think.

"You all need to stay back. Whatever happens now, you do not interfere. Clear?"

With a last look, he walks toward his death.

He told me not to interfere. And I'm not stupid. I know that interfering could change everything. There are so many events that hinge on this one. So, so many. A whole season, at least.

But I can't help it. I have to stop this.

I jump out of the sand, shouting, "Doctor! Don't!" I run towards him, but River latches onto me before I can make it far. She lets me go the moment the little girl in the astronaut suit fires.

"Amy! Stay back! The Doctor said stay back," River exclaims, holding her back with Rory's aid. I start forward again. "Oh no you don't, Meyers." She grabs my arm.

Geez, this woman is strong. Well, duh, she's Time Lord. Kinda.

I glare at her and pull out of her grip. "I know who you are," I threaten.

Bam. The second shot.

Her fingers stray near her gun. "So you always say," she hisses. "But you won't stop what must happen. You never do. You're too afraid to change time."

"Time can be re-written," I quote, walking backwards.

Bam.

The third shot. I missed my chance. It's over.

I can see the satisfied look in her eyes as River and I run towards the Doctor. The look quickly melts into concern, terror, and sadness.

I ignore her, collapsing to my knees next to the Doctor. It's useless. I know he's dead. And I know we'll see him again, but the tears fall anyways.

I let them go through the motions. The moment is over. There's no point in telling them what really happens. Or what happens next.

Standing, I move off to the side, hugging my arms as Canton Everett Delaware III places the gas can next to the Doctor. 

I need to go home.

I pull the pins out of my hair and rinse in the lake after they send the Doctor's body out for a Viking funeral. I run my fingers through my soaking hair, shivering. I pull my coat back on and hug my stomach. I stay away from everyone for now.

This isn't where I'm supposed to be. I'm Dorothy trapped in a much more dangerous Oz. But there are no ruby slippers, just a stupid vortex manipulator. I try punching the buttons, but nothing happens. As if I know how to use one anyway.

"Lily," Amy says, coming up from behind me. Her face is streaked with tears. She hugs me and, uncomfortable, I hug her back, though it's stiff on my end. "How can this have happened? Do you even understand?"

I step away from her, awkwardly strunching my hair with my fingers, rubbing at the roots to add volume to my otherwise limp hair. "I do, it's just…" I shrug. "I'm numb. Everything is weird right now, you know? You all know me, and I don't know you. Not like you know me, anyway."

She crosses her arms and regards me, pretty face at a loss for words. Rory puts his arms around her. "Come on. Let's go back in town." He kisses her head. "Come with us, Lil?"

The fire in the middle of the lake draws my gaze. I know he's going to be ok. I hope he is.

"Yeah," I say. 

The car ride consists of River talking her head off. You know, I like her on the show, I really do, but here, when I know I know way more then her and she's talking as if she knows everything, she's annoying me.

"You think he invited someone else?" Rory says after we enter the diner.

Strangely enough, my stomach growls at the smell of fried food and burgers. It's been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?

"Well, he must have," River insists. I walk away from the group and lean against the counter, tapping my fingers against the formica. I keep one eye on the rest room.

The cook comes up to me. "Can I have a burger and a chocolate shake?" I ask.

Oh wait. Do I even have any cash? Nope.

My stomach cries for food, but I walk way. "Never mind. Sorry."

The annoyed cook grumbles, glaring at me. I turn towards the restroom, waiting, trying to keep the smile from my face.

"Excuse me," Rory says to the cook. "Who was sitting there?"

"Some guy," the cook says, still glaring at me.

I just cross my arms and enjoy the show.

River picks up a blue envelope. "The Doctor knew he was going to his death, so he sent out messages. When you know it's the end, who do you call?"

"Your friends, people you trust," Rory guesses.

River holds the envelope up towards us. "Number one. Who did the Doctor trust the most?"

"Who do you think?" I ask as the door to the restroom opens.

The Doctor walks into the diner with a straw in his mouth. Everyone gapes at him. I almost laugh, a maniac laugh when things that shouldn't be funny are. The Doctor smiles and points at us.

"This is cold," River states. "Even by your standards, this is cold."

The Doctor regards her strangely. "Or, Hello, as people used to say."

Amy, clearly shocked, says, "Doctor?"

The Doctor wiggles the straw. "I just popped out to get my special straw. It adds more fizz."

Amy walks around him in a circle. "You're OK." She poked him. "How can you be OK?"

"Of course I'm OK, I'm always OK," the Doctor hugs her. "I'm the king of OK. Oh, that's a rubbish title, forget that title. Rory the Roman, that's a good title. Hello, Rory!" He hugs Rory, too, then turns to River. _"_And Dr River Song... Oh, you bad, bad girl, what trouble have you got for me this time?"

She slaps him.

"OK. I'm assuming that's for something I haven't done yet."

"Yes, it is."

"Good, looking forward to it," the Doctor turns to me next. "And Lily, I'd hug you hello, but you were just behind me. No wait," he walks around me, hand on my shoulder. "Your hair is longer and it is wet. You haven't worn that outfit since…" he's in front of me now and his eyes light up. "You're a different Lily. A past Lily. Well, my past, your present. What's the password?"

"Apparently it's banana," I guess.

He takes a small step back. "Understand. How many times have you met me?"

"Counting now? Twice."

The Doctor breathes out and takes another step back. "Well, hello then."

"Hello," I wave a few fingers at him.

"I don't understand. How can you be here?" Rory pokes the Doctor in the chest.

The Doctor looks at him like he's crazy. "I was invited. Date, map reference. Same as you lot, I assume, otherwise it's a hell of a coincidence."

I raise my hand. "No, I'm just a coincidence."

"You're always a coincidence," the Doctor winks at me. "My favorite coincidence."

Hmm. I never thought of this Doctor as being sexy. Until now. Weird thought, that.

Oo, I wonder if I get to meet Ten!

That would be awesome! Ten is my Doctor, the Doctor that got me hooked to the show. Imagine traveling with him. God, I probably couldn't look at him without swooning. I mean, come on, David Tennant is a very attractive man. To say that wasn't part of the reason I started liking the show would be a complete lie. I mean, the show is fantastic with or without him, but I do like men and attractive men are a nice perk to an already awesome show.

Now I'm trying to justify myself to myself. I really must be crazy. Stick me in the psych ward!

I not so patiently wait for the whole "Jim the Fish" conversation to end. I'm not gonna lie, I just wanna get to the part where we are on the Tardis.

I guess I've moved from "disbelieving" and "Dorothy Sydrome" to "Excitement at being able to travel through space and time with a Time Lord from Gallifrey, a Scot from England, a 2000+ year old ex-Auton Roman, and a woman who's origins I have to hide for a while, unless I want to completely change the future, which I don't really want to do, because that would just not be fun for anyone involved, especially me, since I know what is supposed to happen—for the most part."

"Recruited by whom?" the Doctor asks.

"Someone who trusts you more than anybody else in the universe," River answers.

The Doctor's eyes flick to me. "And who's that?"

I smile. "Spoilers."

Yes, I step on River's line.

He grins at me. "To the Tardis, then!"


	3. 1: The Impossible Astronaut  Part Three

**We're starting to get to the good stuff now. Things will be revealed in time.**

**Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing. It's seriously the reason I keep writing this. Although I am having a good time. I am interested in knowing if my dialogue is good, especially for the Doctor. 11 is hard to write for...  
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**The Impossible Astronaut**

**Part Three**

It really is bigger on the inside.

I close my eyes and breath in. The scent is unlike anything I have ever imagined. A cross between metal, rain, and something I can't even begin to name, some so fresh and exciting. I run my fingers across the railings. It's warmer in here than I would have thought.

"Rory, is everyone cross at me for some reason?" the Doctor asks, annoyed and exasperated.

Rory, in typical lost fashion, replies, "I'll find out."

He goes down the grated stairs to the bottom section. The Doctor watches him, pensive. I watch the Doctor.

"Lillian," he says. "What's going on?"

I shrug. "I can't tell you." I fling my head up and take in as much of the Tardis as I can. "Oh, this is better then I ever imagined it would be."

That struck his vain chord. He gives me his complete attention. "You didn't say my favorite bit," he scolds.

I grin and turn to him. "It's bigger on the inside."

The Doctor comes to lean against a railing with me. I made sure to stay far away from where everyone is talking.

"How are you?"

I laugh. "I think I've hit the over excited disbelief portion of the emotional spectrum."

He tucks my hair behind my ear. My cheeks feel awful warm now. "You'll be fine."

"Normally when someone says that, you know it's a lie," I admit, finding sudden fascination with the ceiling. "You're probably the only person in the universe who can say that and make me feel better. Actually," my stomach does a little jumpy thing when I look at him. "Come to think of it, that's not always true, is it?"

His tired eyes lose a bit of glimmer. "No, not always."

I think of Rose. Martha. Donna. Even young Amelia Pond. The Doctor doesn't lie. But he can't protect everyone. Not always.

"Do you ever wonder what Rose is up to with the duplicate?"

Whoops. That's probably not a sentence I should have allowed to leave my mouth. But let's face it. This Doctor makes so little reference to past companions. I can't help but wonder these things.

The Doctor pins me with a dark, unreadable look. An awkward moment passes. I'm about to apologize and retract my question when he answers, "I wonder about them all every day."

"I'm sorry," I pick at my cuticles, a horrible habit I developed during awkward situations. "That was out of line."

"Don't worry about it. Now," he claps his hands and in two steps, reaches the console. So we're back to Manic Doctor. "Watch my brilliance."

He starts running around, pressing and turning knobs, pulling levers, the whole bit. It's like a dance in a way. Not very graceful, but still a dance.

He stops after a few moments and drops to the floor, sticking his head over the railing. "I'm being extremely clever up here, and there's only Lily here standing around, looking impressed. What's the point in having you all?"

"Couldn't you just slap him sometimes?" River's voice drifts up from below.

The Doctor stands back up and continues typing things on the console. "Time isn't a straight line, it's all bumpy-wumpy." He's running around again, flipping things. "There's loads of boring stuff, like Sundays and Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons," as if Thursdays are so bad. "But now and then there are Saturdays, big temporal tipping points when anything's possible. The TARDIS can't resist them, she loves a party, so I give her 1969 and NASA, 'cause that's space in the '60s, and Canton Everett Delaware III, and this is where she's pointing."

Washington DC, April 8th, 1969.

Great, I finally get to meet a President, and it has to be _him_. Figures.

"So why haven't we landed?" Amy asks.

"Because that is not where we are going," The Doctor answers, still staring at the console. His manic mood is quickly evaporating back to depressed.

"Where are we going?" Rory asks. Oh, innocent Rory.

"Home," the Doctor exclaims. "Well, you two are. Off you pop and make babies. Dr Song, back to prison. Lily, well, you can stay, if you're allowed. Me, I'm late for a biplane lesson in 1911, or it could be knitting. Knitting or biplanes, one or the other."

"Allowed?" I ask as he flops into the chair next to me. He doesn't answer. He just rubs his forehead, very broody. Angel's got nothing on broodiness when compared to the Doctor. The whole atmosphere in the Tardis has darkened.

"What? A mysterious summons? You think I'm just going to go? Who sent those messages? I know you know, I can see it in your faces. Don't play games with me. Don't ever, ever think you're capable of that."

I place a shaking hand on his shoulder as River replies, "You're going to have to trust us this time."

I don't know why I'm trying to comfort him. I remember this scene and it's unfolding around me. I don't know what else to do.

He gives my hand a squeeze. "Trust you. Sure," he lets my hand go and walks to River. "But first of all, Dr Song, just one thing... Who are you? You're someone from my future, getting that, but who?" Nothing. My hand itches to raise, but I ignore the impulse. "OK… Why are you in prison? Who did you kill?" A beat. "Hmm? Now, I love a bad girl, me, but trust you? Seriously?"

"Trust me."

Shit. The words tumble out of my mouth a moment before Amy.

He turns to me now and suddenly I'm pinned with a glare from an angry Time Lord. And I thought my parents had the whole glaring thing down. Clearly they need lessons.

"Are you supposed to be getting involved in this, Lily?" he saunters towards me. "You know what's happened. And you know what will happen. I can see it in your eyes." He stoops down a bit and looks directly into my eyes. "I know you better than you know me. We've been through more than you can possible imagine at this moment." He takes my face in his hands and presses his forehead against mine. "Much, much more." My heart is thumping. "But none of that matters, not right now." He steps away. The loss of contact makes me release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I can't trust you. Not yet. Not until you understand. Because I never know when you will leave."

"Then trust me," Amy says.

"Ok."

And suddenly it's like I never got involved. Except my heart is still beating a samba. Oh this is gonna be hard. How am I supposed to handle this when I know everything that's about to happen? God, just knowing that Amy isn't actually Amy right now is hard enough.

Ok, so I just thought of that. But still. And knowing who River is? That alone is enough to completely change the events set in front of us. The temptation is mighty fine, but I know it's the worst idea possible.

…And what was that bit about him never knowing when I will leave?

"Swear to me," the Doctor implores. "Swear to me on something that matters."

Brief pause. I mouth the words along with Amy. "Fish fingers and custard."

The Doctor accepts that. "My life in your hands, Amelia Pond."

River swallows. "Thank you."

And the Doctor is back to his jolly self. "So! Canton Everett Delaware III! Who's he?"

Oh man! Ok, this is awesome. The amazing, almost deafening sounds of a dematerializing Tardis. Oh my god. I'm actually going to travel back in time! I love the '60s! Well, the music anyway.

This is so freaking awesome!

I don't realize that I'm itching my wrist until I'm suddenly engulfed in heat. 

I collapse onto moist concrete.

What. The. Hell?

Heart pounding in fear, I look up at a brick wall. A set of dumpsters. The oh so delectable smell of garbage. Breathing hard, I crawl to my feet and press my back against a wall.

Ohhh, why is the world all spin-y? And what the heck just happened?

I hear some paper rip. Oh look, I'm leaning against a poster. I stagger to my shoulder is against the wall and I'm looking at the poster.

But it doesn't make sense. The writing is too big.

I push myself from the wall with my hand and read the poster. Then read it again.

"What?" I whisper.

I stumble away from the poster and brace myself against the wall across from it.

In giant, bold letters, the poster proudly proclaims the two more horrifying words it could possibly say.

Vote Saxon.

"WHAT?" I scream.


	4. 2: Smith and Jones Part One

**.2.**

**Smith and Jones**

**Part One**

"_She was found in an alley."_

The world is fuzzy.

"_Wouldn't stop screaming about Harold Saxon."_

Am I swimming? No, because I'm breathing fine. See? In. Out. In. Out. In…

"_She kept calling him The Master."_

Oh god, why is everything spinning?

"…_sedate her. She became very violent."_

Do I need glasses? I mean, I think I'd look cute in glasses, but I don't really want them.

"…_Thought you should know… vortex manipulator."_

Can you stop talking, please? Can't you see that the world is messed up?

"_I think Mr. Saxon would like to know about this."_

Earthquake!

I wake up screaming. Wait. No. I'm not screaming. Everyone else is. The building is shaking. It feels like we're being lifted to the sky.

I try to jump from the bed, but I can't move my arms. No. Hold on. Not quite right. My wrists are in restraints. I'm wearing a hospital gown. Where am I?

"You're in the psych ward in the Royal Hope Hospital." A woman throws clothing at me and starts undoing the restraints. I stare at her bright mask made with brilliant emerald, sapphire, and amethyst feathers. She stumbles as the building lurches, arms wide to steady herself. "Judoon platoon upon the moon." She finishes the restraint and runs to the other side. "He's on the fifth floor."

"Who is?" What sort of drugs did they pump me up with?

The woman snorts as she finishes the last restraint. "Who indeed."

Our eyes lock. Weird. She looks very familiar.

"Uhh…" I say. My head lolls to the side as another wave of dizziness passes over me. Sleeeeeeep…

"Oh right," she pulls a needle from her black leather jacket and uncaps it. "Sorry." She jams it into my arm.

"OW!" I yell. "What the hell was that?" It's like acid running through my veins. Though, now the world is getting brighter.

"Adrenaline and some other things. You'll need it. It'll get rid of the drugs in your system. Now get up," she pulls me out of bed. I almost stumble, but she catches me. Her hair is really short, to the point that if she didn't have boobs and a girl voice, I would think she was a guy. She rips the hospital gown off and shoves a pair of clean panties at me.

"Hey!" I scream. We both topple as the building gives a final slam. Her mask falls to her chin.

We stare at each other. Weird. It's almost like looking in a mirror.

"Get dressed," she commands, throwing a bra at me and pushing the mask back up. "There isn't much time."

My veins are on fire as I half pull on my clothing, half be dressed by MaskGirl. "Who the hell are you?" I exclaim as she zips up my tight brown pants.

She rolls her eyes. "Stop being an idiot." She pulls the mask off and stares at me with her hands on her hips.

I tug on the black tank top and glare at her. She pushes the hair out of my face. I really look at her. She has a mole over her right eyebrow. So do I. Brown eyes. Brown hair. A little skinnier. It's the scar right next to her left nostril that does it for me. It's just a tiny sliver, the type that only a wayward piece of shrapnel from a beer bottle being thrown against a wall can make. Exactly the same. It only looks different because I'm used to seeing it in a mirror.

Holy. Shit.

"What did you do to my hair?" I exclaim.

"I've always wanted a pixie cut," Future Me explains, pushing me onto the bed so that she (I?) can shove my foot into a boot. I fasten the holster around my hips. "But, yeah, I didn't do this on purpose."

"Uh-oh! You're not supposed to tell me anything or else you create a paradox!" I tease Future Me.

Future Me punches me in the arm. "I remember me telling you this. Or, wait, I remember me telling me. Ugh, you know what I mean!"

"Don't you mean, 'I know what I mean?"

Future Me glares at me and offers me a rubber band for my hair. "He's on the fifth floor patients lounge balcony. Get moving."

I sling my hair into a quick lazy bun and pull a white button up shirt over my tank top. I button it as I back out of the room. Future Me is pressing some buttons on the vortex manipulator.

"Oh, so I learn how to use this thing?" I ask, holding up my wrist.

Future Me nods. "Yeah, kinda. Oh, and, hey, uh, me…" We stare at each other for another moment. "Take the stairs. You'll thank me for it later."

"Is the elevator broken?" I roll up my left sleeve.

"More like I need the exercise. We never stop running."

I glance up from rolling my right sleeve. "From what?"

Future Me smiles. I have a nice smile and all that money my parents spent on braces really shows. I never noticed before. "The right question is, 'With who?'"

With that, Future Me disappears.

Damn, I look good with a pixie cut.

I take off down the hall, ignoring the screaming people. I can breakdown about the fact that I was in the psych ward later. Whatever Future Me gave myself (or however the grammar for that works), I feel like I could run forever. I take the stairs two at a time, just because I'm feeling cocky.

Oof.

I slip on a stair, but catch myself on the railing. Ok, maybe I should take it one step at a time.

By the time I reach the fifth floor, my lungs are burning. I hate myself. I mean, Future Me. Luckily, there is sign directing me to the patients lounge. I run through and open the doors, huffing and puffing, bent over, almost ready to collapse. Ok. Enough useless running.

"Aliens! That's aliens. Real, proper aliens," a female exclaims.

"Judoon."

That statement makes my head pop up. "Judoon?" I croak. My breathing somehow calms itself really fast, though my heart is still pounding pretty good.

Holy crap, I'm on the moon. And there are Judoon.

Judoon platoon upon the moon.

_Smith and Jones_.

The girl in the white lab coat and the man in the blue suit turn to me. The girl, Martha Jones, gives me a very confused look. The man, excuse me, the Time Lord regards me for a moment before regaling me with a brilliant smile. My stomach jumps up to my throat and I try to keep the silly smile away. Yup, swooning.

"Lily!" The Doctor cries, stretching out my name so it lasts a good five seconds.

Oh, hello, 10th Doctor.

I blush. "Um, hi. I guess you know me?"

"Of course I do!" he pulls me into a big hug. "What's the password?" he whispers in my ear.

Password? Oh, right. "Banana?" I ask.

"Lily, come meet Martha. She's clever!"

I just stare at him, because I seem to have lost the ability to speak. He's wearing the blue suit… I love the blue suit. And his hair is just so adorable!

The Doctor, the 10th Doctor, the best Doctor, puts his hand on my shoulder and steers me to the edge of the balcony. I take in the whole "being on the moon"thing, forgetting my company for the moment. "One small step for man" echoes through my head. Wow. It's just as silvery when you're standing it. This is the most amazing thing I have every seen.

Even with the marching Judoon.

"Have you been in space yet?" he lets go of me and leans a hip against the railing. I shake my head.

I'm. On. The. Moon.

God, weren't we just talking about the moon? About 1969? Is this just a coincidence? Oh man, the Earth is so pretty from up here…

Oh… hello, itchy wrist. One second the Doctor is smiling at me. The next, I'm burning.

Now that is disappointment.

I stumble on this landing, reaching out with my hands to brace myself against a white washed wall.

Wham.

My head hits the wall. Ouch.

"Are you ok?"

The Doctor.

I whip around and take in the room. Computers. Martha. Doctor's hair ridiculously sticking up.

Ok, cool, I haven't gone that far. Same episode, different scene.

"I apologize for Lily," the Doctor—10!—says, I assume to Martha. "We don't usually meet in the right order. Normally she's quite brilliant."

"'S all right," Martha says. "She your girlfriend?"

"Lily?" he laughs. "No, she's just a mate."

"So you're single…"

Ew, Martha's flirting bring me back to reality. Or, well, this reality anyway. "Ok, so, Judoon," I say.

The Doctor snaps back to me. "Right, Judoon." He turns back to the computer, but then whips right back around. "Judoon?"

"They're after an alien," I say. "One who killed a princess or something."

The Doctor pins me with a sour look. "How can you know that?"

Whoops. Totally said too much.

"I have my sources," I retort. "Either way, they're clearly looking for something non-human."

The Doctor runs his hand through his hair. "What have you been doing in the past, oh, fifteen minutes or so?"

"Just kinda, you know, hanging around…" I fold my arms across my chest. This is too much. "Look, there are a few more important things going on right now. You can ask all the questions that you want, but right now, we're wasting oxygen."

Ok, only a little bit of tremble in my voice. Not bad. I can do this.

The Doctor stares at me for a short, yet long moment. Then he blinks those gorgeous brown eyes, flashes a brilliant smile, and spins back to the computer. "Right!" And two seconds later, he smacks the computer. "Oh! Just that they're thick! Judoon are thick! They are completely thick! They wiped the records. Oh, that's clever." His chin is in his hands.

Martha stands behind him. ""What are we looking for?"

"I don't know," the Doctor admits. "Any patient admitted in the past week with unusual symptoms. Maybe there's a back-up."

"Just keep working," Martha backs out of the room. "I'll go ask Mr Stoker, he might know."

Mr. Stoker? Ha, I just got that! Irony! He gets his blood sucked out by a funny old lady! Like a vampire!

Oh no, wait, that's happening for reals now. The reality hits me, making the world spin. Or, well, I guess it makes the moon spin. Either way.

I start forward. "Wait…"

The Doctor keeps sonic-ing. "Yes, Lily?" He's distracted, not that I can blame him.

"I know what the Judoon are looking for!"

The Doctor stands up in victory, arms in the air. "I've restored the back up!" Aaaand I'm being ignored. The Doctor crosses the room towards the door.

"I've found her!" Martha runs into the room.

"You what?" the Doctor exclaims, running out of the room. I follow, sputtering to a stop when I see the leather dudes with the motorcycle helmets. Slabs! "Run!" the Doctor grabs my hand, then Martha's, and pulls us down the hall.

We run down the stairs. "Doctor, you have to listen to me!" My words stop short as we meet a group of Judoon coming up the stairs. The Doctor leads us to the door, letting go of Martha's hand to open it.

We don't stop running.

I can't even breath enough to talk anymore. The Slabs are so close to us.

My thoughts are a blur. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Please don't let a couple of leather men kill me.

As if sensing my nerves, the Doctor squeezes my hand and tosses me a smile. We run into a radiology room. I skid to a stop as the Doctor slams the door, locking it.

"Martha, when I say 'now', press the button," the Doctor orders.

"I don't know which one!" Martha complains.

"Find out!"

He uses his sonic screwdriver on the X-Ray machine. Or whatever it is. I follow Martha into the little room to the side just as the Slab breaks down the door.

"Now!"

I slam my hand on the button a second before Martha.

The Doctor points the x-ray or whatever at the Slab. The shock of radiation is blinding. I cover my eyes, and an unwelcome squeak pops out. Then the light is gone and I open my eyes. The Slab is smoking a little bit.

"What did you do?" Martha asks.

"Increased the radiation by five thousand per cent. Killed him dead."

Duh.

"Isn't that likely to kill you?"

"Nah, it's only radiation. We used to play with roentgen bricks in the nursery. It's safe for you to come out, I've absorbed it all. All I need to do is expel it." We enter the room as he starts bouncing and hopping. "If I concentrate I can shake the radiation out of my body and into one spot. It's in my left shoe. Here we go, here we go, easy does it…" He starts shaking his foot. "Out, out, out, out, out. Out, out, ah, ah, ah, ah. It is, it is, it is, it is, it is hot. Ah - hold on." He rips off his show and throws it into the dustbin. "Done."

"You're completely mad."

Yup. Agreed.

"Right. I look daft with one shoe." In a quick motion, he bends down, tugs off his other shoe, and throws it over his shoulders. He wiggles his toes. "Barefoot on the moon!"

I crack up. I can't help it. I'm back in a crazy place again.


	5. 2: Smith and Jones Part Two

**Sorry this has taken me longer than usual. I hit a wall for a bit, but I've got the inspiration back. I know this might seem a little rushed, but there are a few things that I needed to get out of the way before getting to the good part, which is coming next. And I want to make it clear that this story doesn't exactly have chapters: it has meeting times. The number at the top corrolates to the number of times that Lily has met the Doctor. (Except that in _Impossible Astronaut_, she technically meets a future and past Doctor... but I counted that as one time anyway.) Anyway, onward!**

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_**Smith and Jones**_

**Part Two**

As the Doctor and Martha discuss the Slab and what Martha saw when she went to find Mr. Stoker (Spoiler: Mr. Stoker is dead because an alien disguised as an old lady drank his blood to hide the fact that she's an alien from the Judoon), I sneak into a corner sit against the wall, hugging my legs.

Whatever Future Me gave me must be wearing off or something. My heart is pounding. My palms are sweaty. My skin is hot and cold all at the same time. My head hurts. The corners of my eyes prick with unshed tears.

That Slab's death, though I guess not really a living thing, has smacked me in the face with reality.

Hello, panic attack. Will you be staying long?

How did I get here? How can I get back home?

Clearly, I don't get home anytime soon, if Future Me is to be trusted. And, looking back on the hints Future Me dropped, it sounds like I spend a lot of time with the Doctor. That's both terrifying and exciting.

But I'm leaning towards terrifying right now.

And this stupid thing is stuck on my wrist! I pry at the leather band of the vortex manipulator, but it doesn't even bend. What the hell? Why is this thing attached to me?

Ok, Lillian, stop freaking out. You're an intelligent girl. You're an avid _Doctor Who_ fan. You can figure this out. By yourself. No, stop checking out the Doctor. He can't help you. He has his own time stream to contend with. If he couldn't get Rose out of Pete's World, he can't get you back to "This is just a TV show and there are no aliens (that have come to Earth as far as we know)" world.

Wait a minute!

Rose comes back from Pete's World! The fabric that separates realities will be at it's thinnest at some point in this timeline. If I'm there at the end, when the Doctor brings the Duplicate and Rose back to Pete's World, maybe he can bring me back to my world! It's perfect!

…Now, how long from now could that be? A year? Maybe? Oh, god, who knows how time moves here in comparison to the show! And who knows if this stupid vortex manipulator will let me stay long enough to find out!

"Doctor!"

"Sorry."

_Thunk_. Ow.

I rub the stop on my forehead where the sonic screwdriver just whacked me.

"You called me Doctor!" The Doctor says with a joyous smile.

Apparently I am chopped liver. Gee, 11 paid more attention to me. Wait, if 11 paid more attention, does that mean he knows me better? And thus I don't leave when I hope to?

Well, no, it's still possible. I'm thinking of time in a straight line. Time is different with the Doctor. River Song is evidence of that. And I must travel around time a few more times at least, since this Doctor knows me. So I've met him before this as well.

God, this whole thing is just confusing!

"If she can assimilate Mr Stoker's blood, mimic the morphology, she can register as human. We've got to find her and show the Judoon. Lily!" The Doctor is suddenly in front of me. I snap my head up. I didn't even realize I had rested it in my arms. And, god, I'm still hungry. "How are you feeling?" The urgency in his tone has taken a backseat to concern. He kneels down, matching his dark brown eyes with my own.

"Overwhelmed." My voice cracks and the tears are starting to spill. My body vibrates with a slight tremor.

His eyes soften even more. "Can you hold on for now? We don't have time for you to fall apart, but I promise when this is over, I'll take you on the Tardis and you will tell me everything." The sentence, which started with heartbreaking kindness, ends with a firmness that sets me a bit on edge.

I don't know what to insinuate from that. It's the type of firmness he gets when he doesn't know what's going on and intends to find it out by any means necessary.

_Demons run when a good man goes to war._

_The Oncoming Storm._

I'm not on his good side. Not really. Not yet. Oh, he's giving me the benefit of the doubt, but he's still wary. I'd be the same, given his position in the universe.

I take a deep, if not quite steady, breathe. "I'm fine." Two words universally acknowledged as meaning the opposite.

He studies me a moment. "Good." He stands, offering me a hand. I take it. It's cooler then I expected. He pulls me up. I loosen my grip, expecting him to do the same, but his tightens.

"Come on," he exclaims, pulling me out of the room, Martha not far behind.

A few blinding, exhausting moments of running later, the Doctor pushes Martha and I behind a water cooler. Hey, I'm still working on the whole not freaking out thing, excuse me for not exactly paying attention to my surroundings.

Another Slab struts right by us.

Oh yeah. Maybe I should be paying more attention.

Imagining a brick wall, I shove all my emotions behind it to deal with later. Staying alive is more important.

"That's the thing about Slabs," The Doctor says. "They always travel in pairs."

"Just like you two," Martha replies.

The Doctor looks at me. I shrug at him. "Just like us two what?" The Doctor questions.

Martha rolls her eyes. "Aren't you each other's back-up? You don't leave each other's side when you're together." She gazes pointedly at our still entwined hands. We drop grips immediately and take a step away from each other.

"Ugh. Humans," The Doctor shakes his head. "We're stuck on the moon running out of air with Judoon and a bloodsucking criminal, you're asking personal questions. Come on."

"I like that. 'Humans.' I'm still not convinced you're an alien."

"Oh, he is," I say as we step out.

Right smack dab into a Judoon with a blue light thingy, which it flashes right at the Doctor's head. It makes an angry buzz.

"Non-human," the Judoon booms.

"See?" I direct at Martha.

"And again!" The Doctor grabs Martha's hand this time and the three of us run. Again. Lasers whizz by as the Judoon shoot at us. One of them singes the upper right sleeve of my white shirt. Figures. I'm the lazy one of the three of us.

We run up another flight of stairs and down a hallway, skipping and jumping around the people who are falling to the floor. The Doctor slows.

"They've done this floor," he says. "Come on. The Judoon are logical and just a little bit thick. They won't go back to check a floor they've checked already. If we're lucky."

"Trust me, we're not that lucky," I say.

The Doctor just gives me an angry look. Ok, Mr Passive Aggressive. Whatever you say.

We stop as Martha talks to some doctor or nurse or something. I look around me, taking in the people falling to the floor. Except for the part where I'm seriously freaking out about whatever is happening with the whole thing about me traveling into a TV show, I feel fine. What was in the shot that Future Me gave? My oxygen levels feel normal. Or, well, I feel like I'm breathing fine. I don't actually know what normal oxygen levels are.

"Where's Mr. Stoker's office?" The Doctor asks Martha.

"It's this way," she say, taking the lead.

Oh, right, plasmavore!

"It's not…" I start. No, I shouldn't. If I tell him where the plasmavore thing is, he'll get there too early and it could ruing the whole thing. Closing my mouth, I follow, silently.

Even though my whole being is shouting for the Doctor to go elsewhere.

"She's gone!" Martha exclaims as we enter the office. "She was here."

Mr Stoker is lying in the middle of the room. Dead.

Dead body. I've ever seen a dead body. It looks different from TV. Oh my god. That is a real, actual dead person. Alive yesterday. Alive a few hours ago. Dead now. Dead. As in not alive. This isn't fake. This is real life. It's real now. Very, very real. And very, very not good.

Oh, god, I am not ready for this. I am not brave enough for this.

I slip out of the office and lean against a wall in the hallway.

Nope. I am not a hero. I don't care that I saw my future self. I need to get out of here and I need to get out of here now. Right freaking now. Back to my boring life as a customer services representative at an electronics store. Boring, yet safe. And there are no dead bodies. None. All live people with boring, yet annoying problems.

"Think, think, think," The Doctor is in the hall with me now. "If I was a plasmavore surrounded by police, what would I do?" I point to the MRI sign. He turns. "Aah. She's as clever as me. Almost."

"Find the non-human. Execute."

Judoon. I jump away from the wall and start backing away from the direction of the voices. Towards the MRI room. Of course.

"Martha, stay here," The Doctor instructs. "I need time. You're going to have to hold them up.

"How do I do that?"

Ohhhhh…

He takes a step towards her. "Martha, forgive me for this. It's to save a thousand lives, it means nothing. Honestly, nothing."

I turn away as he kisses her.

A moment later, he grabs my hand and drags me with him.

Great, looks like I'm going to meet a plasmavore.

We stop a few yards from the room. By stop, I mean he stops and I keep going until my arm is almost pulled from the socket. He grabs my left wrist and lifts the leather from the vortex manipulator.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he starts tapping the buttons.

"I'm sending you ahead. Just a little bit. Make you jump the next… hour, I think. Yeah, hour is good."

I jerk my arm, but he's strong for s skinny alien. "Why?"

He looks up at me. "I've met you before, Lily, and you were not this jumpy. I don't know how you got hold of a vortex manipulator, but you don't even know how to use it. And it's clearly broken!" he raises his voice. I look at the little screen, but there are just symbols that I can't decipher. "Fine, two hours. Two hours and 37 minutes? Yes, two hours and 37 minutes, I will meet you."

"Doctor, I want to stay," I lie for some reason. I feel safe around him. But that makes sense. He is the Doctor, after all.

He shakes his head. "Lily, this is just a plasmavore and an army of Judoon. We've seen worse together and you didn't blink." He lets go of my wrist, but grabs my upper arms. "Two hours and 37 minutes. Please."

"I don't have a choice," I say.

Because my wrist is already itching.

He lets me go, reaching to push a button on the vortex manipulator, but before he can, I'm whisked away. 

My knees land on carpet. I throw out my palms to brace some of the impact. Ow. That hurt. Pain shoots from my palms up to my elbows. An acrid smell permeates the room. The walls are half wood paneling, half red. There's a desk in the middle of the room, with men sitting around it, sleeping. Sleeping? Seems like a funny place to sleep. And what is with that tapping? Tap, tap, tap, tap. Pause. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Pause.

Wait.

Four taps.

I jump to my feet, spinning to face the desk. Ok, that was not the best move ever.

Sitting at the desk with an oxygen mask thrown in front of him is a man with short blonde hair, tapping that four beat rhythm.

"Hello," he says with a giant, maniac smile on his face.

I'm frozen. Completely, utterly, cannot move a muscle frozen. Every muscle and every nerve in my body tightens.

"I told you I'd see you again, Lily."

He doesn't stop tapping.


	6. 3:  Sound of Drums Part One

**I may have had too much fun at the end of this one. The first person to get the reference I make with Lily's quotes at the end gets to name an important original character in a future chapter! Have fun!**

**Edit: My formatting is going all wonky on this chapter. I apologize if it looks weird. I can't figure out how to fix it.  
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**The Sound Of Drums**

**Part One**

I never used to be afraid. Not really. I mean, sure, I despise clowns. I hate heights. I'm a little iffy on the dark sometimes, especially the forest behind the house where I grew up. I've come close to getting in a few car accidents. The fear is the same, in those cases. Heart pounding. Shortness of breath. Sometimes a little dizziness.

But now I know what fear is. Complete and utter fear. It's one word. Just one.

"Master."

For so long, that word has brought me nothing but mild-to-high disgust. It brings images of slavery, forced obedience, shackles, tears.

Now it brings fear. Fear in the form of a man with a crazy smile on his face.

"What's the matter, pet?" The Master pushes his bottom lip out in a pretend frown. "You look scared."

Scared is such a small word for my terror.

The Master bounces out of his chair with that maniac grin, prancing around the table. "The first time I met you, you swore you had defeated me. Well! How can a scared little mouse like you defeat moi?" The Master puts a hand against his heart and flutters his eyelashes. Then his hand drops and he scowls. "Time will be re-written, my little trespasser."

My mind is completely blank. No thoughts. Just the fear.

"He'll defeat you," I say, not nearly as strong as I would have liked. It's like this is a dream and I'm trying to scream, but I can only whisper. "I don't need to do anything for you to lose."

"Assuming you mean the Doctor, you'll find you're very wrong."

"No," I say, stronger this time. Images of the Doctor rising up to defeat the Master runs through my head. And by rising, I mean literally. Very cheesy. "You're wrong."

The Master laughs. "How can you be so sure?"

"I know it. It's fixed. Might as well have already happened."

He laughs. "Don't begin to tell me about fixed events. I am a Time Lord! You are but a weak little human," then he adds, offhandedly, "And an American at that." He turns his back to me.

That's when something inside me snaps. Sure, I'm just a human. That's nothing compared to a Time Lord. But I am American. And what are American's best at? That's right. Talking big and getting things done. Maybe we don't always choose the best things to, you know, get done, but by golly, do we ever try!

And I've got a gun! How could I forget that I've got a gun?

"You're right," I say, forcing a bit of subservience into my voice. "You're a Time Lord. I'm just a dumb human." Pause. Pull out the gun. Aim. Ready. "And you forget that Americans are a little gun crazy."

As a witty line, it's pretty good. But maybe I should have just shot first and said it after.

The Master whips around, laser screwdriver in hand. My palms are sweating. Not the best situation when you're holding a gun that you don't really know how to use.

"You're cheeky," the Master growls. "I'm going to enjoy beating that out of you."

"You're insane," I say, channelling the biggest badass that I can think of. Buffy Summers. "I'm going to enjoy killing you."

Jesus Christ, Lily! Just shoot the bastard!

…But what about the events that are supposed to happen?

Ugh, stupid voice of reason. Stupid gun crazy American.

I hesitate too long to pull the trigger. He's quicker. An orange bolt of light shoots the gun, flinging it out of my hand. It smashes against the wall.

Sadly, that was probably not a bad thing. If I kill the Primer Minister before he's exposed for what he is, I could be, you know, executed.

Man, foreknowledge sucks ass.

The Master shakes his head. "You just threatened the life of the Prime Minister of Britain."

"It's all right," I say. In for a pinch, in for a pound. Or whatever the cliche is. "You won't be Prime Minster much longer."

He tilts his head to the side, then takes two giant steps so he's mere inches from my nose. The Master puts his hands against my cheeks and temples, closing his eyes. I just blink at him, unsure of what could possibly be going on.

Is this what shock feels like? Ugh, why couldn't this have happened on the show?

He's laughing now. "A TV show? How brilliant! Oh, you clever girl!"

Oh god. Is he… reading my mind? I jerk away, slamming my back into a wall. My head smashes against the wall, blinding me for a few seconds with pain. His hands presses my throat. I fight to breath.

"Now, now, Miss Lily, be a dear and STAY STILL!" he screams the last two words.

The Master grabs my left wrist, the one with vortex manipulator. He pulls his laser screwdriver out of his inner breast pocket. He points it at the vortex manipulator. A beam of orange light zaps the manipulator's display. A wisp of gray smoke coils in the air.

My heart breaks. Never thought I'd be sad to see that thing broken.

"There! Now you will stay with me for a good long while. So," his hand flashes against my throat again. "You are from an parallel universe where this universe just so happens to be your favorite show on telly. And you just so happen to remember many of these 'episodes,'" here his voice deepens and he scrunches up his face in a funny look. "Quite well. For that, Lily, I thank you. You have given me quite a lot to think on."

Oh god. I can't breath. His grip is tightening. My throat is collapsing. The edges of the world are darkening.

The Master leans down so his lips are nearly touching my ear. "This episode is going to have an alternate ending."

He grabs my hair my the roots and drags me out of the room with him. My feet stumble, falling beneath me, so now I'm being literally dragged across the carpet. I dig my nails into his wrist. The Master screams, letting me go. I crabwalk away, but his strides easily catch up to me.

SMACK.

My cheek stings where he backhanded me.

The Master nose touches mine and his hot breath steams across my face. "Be a good girl and do as your told, else you'll be punished."

"Why not just kill me?" I spit in his face.

SMACK.

Oh, mother of… the world is spinning again.

"Don't tempt me, Lillian Elizabeth Meyers." His shiny shoes are mere inches from my face, which is resting on scratchy carpet. He bends down so that his cheek is touching the carpet and locks his crazy eyes to mine. "You're more useful alive. I'm going to make you remember every single detail of this episode and then I'm going to pull that from your mind and use it against the Doctor."

The Master grabs a big chunk of my hair and drags me once more down the hallway. I don't resist. If I stay near him, I'll get near the Doctor and then I will be safe.

I hope.

My face smashes against a wall. A door slams and everything is dark. The distinct sound of a lock latching makes me stand. Whack. Ow. I fall back down, rubbing the top of my head. Ok, probably better to do this slowly. I stretch my arms to my side, meeting two walls before my arms can fully extend. A beam of light glows from under the door. As my eyes adjust, I can make out shelving. Ok, I'm in a closet.

I try to door, but it's of course locked. That was obvious.

"For better or for worse. Isn't that right, Harry?"

A woman's voice, slightly muffled. I press my ear against the crack at the bottom of the door and will my heart to stop pounding in my ears.

"My faithful companion."

The Master.

"Mr Saxon," another woman, clearly nervous and obviously back tracking. "Prime Minister, I-I-I was just having a little joke with poor little Lucy. I-I didn't mean…"

Oh, right. I remember this part now. That… journalist or whatever. Ohhh… she's the first to meet those flying robot/human things.

I sigh and take my ear back from the door. I sit back, leaning against the wall. Time to get my thoughts in order.

Ok, first, what do I remember from this? Not much, really. The President taking control. The President being killed. The Master taking over. Martha traveling… no, wait, to be safe, stop thinking about that. The Master making the Doctor look old. Those flying Roomba things. The Doctor looking really old and small and in a bird cage. Jack being tortured.

Ooo, Captain Jack Harkness!

Ugh, no, hormones cool down.

Start from the beginning.

The Master was that old guy Yana. He suddenly remembered who he was once he opened the watch. He regenerated and stole the Tardis, came to Earth… ran for Prime Minister. Won. Killed his advisors or whatever they are called here in Britain. There's some sort of psychic network… God, I just remember bits and pieces. I only saw this episode like once and it was a long time ago.

A woman screaming.

I scramble to put my ear against the door. Those robot thingies just killed that journalist woman.

"But she knew," the other woman's voice. The Master's wife or whatever. What the hell is her name? "Harry, she knew everything. You promised. You said Archangel was 100%."

Ah-HA! Archangel! Duh! That's the psychic network.

"Um, 99, 98?" His voice is closer.

"But if she's asking questions, then who else? How much time have we got?"

"Tomorrow morning, I promise. That's when everything ends." A moment later, the door opens. "Isn't that right, Lily?"

I tumble forward. Sitting back, I look up at the Master. "Oh yes," I say. "Everything ends tomorrow."

"Who's she?" Blondie asks, her hands on her hips.

"This, my love, is our final key to winning this war," the Master kicks me gently in the stomach. "This is Lillian Meyers. She's from a parallel universe. And she know's exactly how to help us." He grabs my upper arm and pulls me up. "Lily, say hello my Lucy. Ha! That's funny. Lucy and Lily."

Lucy…

I smile and picture her in a red dress. Oh yes, it will all end tomorrow. Well, in a year tomorrow. Kinda.

"Hello, Lucy," I say, barely keeping a giggle from my voice. No, wait. Think of something else. Wibbley wobbley timey wimey! The Master puts his hands over my head again. I picture the Doctor punching the Master, over and over and over. It's quite satisfying.

The Master tsks. "No fair blocking me." He pulls me to him, so my back is pressed against his front. Ew. "It'll just hurt more for you." His lips touch my ear. God, he's gross.

"You think you know," I quote. "What's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun."

"Wrong show, love," he tsks.

"But you can kill a hundred, a thousand, a thousand thousand and the armies of Hell besides, and all we need... is for one of us, just one, sooner or later, to have the thing we're all hoping for. One. Good. Day."

"Stop it!"

"I wear the cheese. It does not wear me!"

The Master throws me away from him. My head smacks into another wall. At this rate, he's going to brain damage me and then I won't be of any use.

"Strong," I quip. "Someday he'll be a real boy."

"I liked you better when you were scared," the Master states.

I roll around and use the wall to help me stand. "I liked you better with a beard."

Anger mixed with crazy. Not a good mix. The Master roars and comes at me. This time when he slams my head against the wall, everything goes black.


	7. 3:  Sound of Drums Part Two

**I may have enjoyed myself a little too much with the Master in this one. I didn't realize he'd be so fun to write! Also, I think this is the first time that I don't jump around scenes.  
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**The Sound Of Drums**

**Part Two**

I regain consciousness slowly, groaning.

I notice three things right away. One, my head hurts like hell. Two, I'm tied to a chair. Three, I'm freaking hungry. How long can a human survive without food? Because I already feel like I'm wasting away again in Margaritaville. Mmm… margaritas… Oh, and coconut shrimp with a sweet and spicy dipping sauce. And a big order of fries.

My stomach rumbles so loud I think it just echoed against the walls.

Speaking of walls…

I open my eyes, blinking at the light. I'm back in the room with the half red, half wood paneling walls. I'm seated at the end of the long table. Thankfully, all the dead bodies are gone.

But I'm not alone. No, someone is pacing behind me.

"Leo!" Wait, that voice is familiar. Where is it coming from? "Oh, thank God! Leo, you gotta listen to me. Where are you?"

Martha! She's on the speakerphone on that conference call thingy in front of me. Ok, I don't really remember this part…

"I'm in Brighton," Male voice now. "We came down with Boxer. Did you see that Saxon thing on telly?"

Telly. Quick! Remember… Oh, the Roombas! The Roombas are coming! What are they actually called again?

"Leo, just listen to me," Martha's voice is shaking, betraying her worry. "Don't go home, I'm telling you. Don't phone Mum or Dad or Tish. You've gotta hide."

Pause. Then, "Shut up."

"On my life. You've gotta trust me. Go to Boxer's. Stay with him_._Don't tell anyone! Just hide!"

Someone puts their hands on the back of my chair and I don't need to turn around to know who.

"Ooh, a nice little game of hide-and-seek. I love that," the Master snickers. "But I'll find you, Martha Jones. Been a long time since we saw each other. Must be, what, one hundred trillion years?"

"Let them go, Saxon_. _Do you hear me? Let them go!"

I fight with the ropes, trying to free myself, but I just succeed in giving myself a rope burn. The Master places his hands on my shoulders and I freeze.

"I'm here."

The Doctor.

My stomach twists. Oh, god. How can I be so happy yet so scared all at the same time?

The Master leans over me, draping his left arm around my neck, just tight enough to make my breathing a little hard.

"Doctor."

"Master."

The Master chuckles and pushes a lock of hair out of my face. Barf. "I like it when you use my name," he growls into my ear.

I know he's doing this to un-nerve me. I'm sad to say that it's working. Really well. I'm trembling like a autumn leaf in a windstorm.

"You chose it. Psychiatrist's field day."

"As you chose yours," The Master touches a bruise on my temple, pressing the wound. I bite my lip. There's no way I'm giving him the satisfaction of crying out loud. "The man who makes people better. How sanctimonious is that?"

I jerk away from his ministrations, but it's not like I can go far. He just chuckles and pushes me away from the desk. The chair, apparently with wheels, bumps into the left wall.

I'm gonna kill him. I swear to god, he is a dead Time Lord.

"So… Prime Minister."

"I know. It's good, isn't it?" He bends down at the knees, chin resting on the edge of the table.

"Who are those creatures? 'Cause there's no such thing as the Toclafane. It's just a made-up name like the Bogeyman."

Toclafane! That's what those Roombas are called! Man, that was bugging me.

"Do you remember all those fairy tales about the Toclafane when we were kids? Back home." Pause. The Master watches me, grinning. "Where is it, Doctor?"

"Gone."

"I know."

I think my eyes just bugged out of their sockets. I don't remember this scene, but how does the Master know that Gallifrey is gone?

_Because he read it from your mind…_

Oh, this is bad. This is really bad. This is really, very not good.

"You did it, Doctor. You burned us. You destroyed Gallifrey and our entire race."

"Except you, apparently." The Doctor doesn't sound surprised that the Master knows. But he should be surprised. There is no way that the Master should know any of this. And he wouldn't, if it weren't for me.

"The Time Lords only resurrected me because they knew I'd be the perfect warrior for a Time War. I was there when the Dalek Emperor took control of the Cruciform. I saw it. I ran. I ran so far. Made myself human so they would never find me." The Master gets up with a twirl and that crazy grin, grabbing the right arm of my chair, pulling me back to the table. I stare at the speakerphone with tears in my eyes. This is not good at all.

"What did it feel like, though?" The Master sounds almost… horny. "Two almighty civilizations burning. The Time Lords and the Daleks. Oh, tell me, how did it feel?" He squeezes my shoulders.

"Stop it!"

My thoughts exactly.

"You must have been like God." He leans down so his chin is resting on my shoulder.

"I've been alone ever since. But not anymore. Don't you see, all we've got is each other."

His head pops up, thank god. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"You could stop this right now," The Doctor pleads. "We could leave this planet. We could fight across the constellations if that's what you want. But not on Earth."

"Too late." The Master starts to twirl a piece of my hair. Blech. Why is he so touchy-feely? I feel like little ants are running all over my skin.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I already know how this is supposed to end. But I'm going to change it. Right, Lily?" The Master smoothes my hair, petting me.

"No!" I shout, jerking my hear away from his hand. I try to twist in my chair so that I can see him. "You can't! You'll rip a hole through space and time. Don't you see?"

I know. You can't reason with a mad man. Or a mad Time Lord. But I have to try.

The Master just laughs. "You know nothing of space and time." He starts spinning my chair in a circle, faster and faster. "Tell her, Doctor. Tell her that the future can always change."

The spinning stops. I try to focus my wobbly vision on the speakerphone.

"Lily," the Doctor says. His tone has changed. It's softer, more intimate. "Everything is going to be fine."

"No, it's not!" Great, now I'm crying. This is just fantastic. "It's all my fault."

"Lily, listen to me," the Doctor's frantic now. "When you were in fifth grade, you wrote a report about Keith Moon, not bananas."

That stops my tears. Now I'm just confused. "I don't understand."

"Think!"

The Master pushes me away from table again, hard. I fly across the floor, then hit the wall and tumble over. I scream before I can stop myself. At least I didn't hit my head.

"What have you done?" The Doctor sounds very, very angry now.

"The drumming," the Master starts drumming his fingers on the table. "I thought it would stop but it never does. Never ever stops. Inside my head, the drumming, Doctor. The constant drumming."

I stare at the carpet and the tears that are being absorbed into the fibers.

"I could help you. Please, let me help."

"It's everywhere. Listen, listen, listen. Here come the drums. Here come the drums."

Drums. Keith Moon. Drummer for The Who. In my opinion, the best drummer there ever lived. Wait, wait, wait. I know I didn't tell the Doctor about that essay I wrote. What is he trying to say? And what do bananas have to do with it?

Hold the curtain. Our password was banana. Still trying to figure that whole thing out, though.

But what if he was saying that Keith Moon is the password now. If we have a new password and I don't know what it is, then that must mean… we get through this. Somehow. Otherwise the password would be banana! Oh, this is clever! Whoever thought of this whole password thing is a genius!

Of course, then again, I have already met 11… so I don't know why I'm so worried. I wouldn't have met 11 if the Master wasn't defeated. That would be a paradox. Right?

"Ooh, look. You're on TV." The Master is seated in front of his laptop now.

"Stop it! Answer me! Lily!"

"No, really. You're on telly." I can faintly hear the news. "You and your little band, which, by the way, is ticking every demographic box. So, congratulations on that. Look, there you are! Ha!"

"…They are known to be armed and extremely dangerous."

"You're public enemies number one, two and three. Oh, and you can tell handsome Jack that I've sent his little gang off on a wild goose chase to the Himalayas so he won't be getting any help from them. Now, go on, off you go. Why not start by turning to the right?"

"He can see us."

"Ooh, you public menace. Better start running. Go on. Run!"

The Master shuts the speakerphone off. He stands from the desk and puts his hands on his hips. "Oh, Lily, Lily, Lily. Whatever am I to do with you now?"

"Set me free?" I paste a smile on my face.

"No chance of that," he walks around the table, drumming his fingers still. One two three four. One two three four. I watch, transfixed. "What happens next?"

"A Toclafane will appear and ask you if everything is set for tomorrow."

What? I close my mouth. Why did that just spill out?

"Hmm," he's still drumming. "What is the Doctor doing now?"

I bite my tongue, but the word comes out. "Running." No, stop! Just stop it!

"What will he be doing later?"

I hold my breath and squeeze my eyes shut. "Making…a…perception…filter." Goddammit! Why can't I stop talking?

"This is just fantastic!" the Master exclaims, giddy. "What did the Doctor do three episodes ago?"

Three episodes? How am I supposed to know?

"He was human. To hide from the Family of Blood." Seriously? I can't remember to set my alarm half the time to wake up for work and I remember three episodes ago?

The Master dances around the room. "What did he do in the last episode you watched on telly?"

Good-bye, Doctor.

"He died," I whisper.

"What was that?" he cups a hand to his ear.

"He died," I said, only a bit louder.

"Once more?"

"HE DIED!" I scream, so loud it makes my throat hurt. I start coughing.

The Master stops dancing directly in front of me. "Brilliant." He voice is full of such reverence. I don't like the look in his eye; as if he is a wolf and I am an injured deer.

"What did you do to me?" My voice cracks and the tears are back.

"Simple," he shrugs. "You've seen or at least know about all these episodes. You might not think you remember, but you do. I just… unlocked your capability."

"How?"

He wags his finger in my face. "Tut, tut, my dear. A magician never gives away his secrets." The Master grabs my shoulders and lifts me (and the chair) back up, so I'm righted again. He puts his hands on top of mine and leans into my face.

But he doesn't say anything. For three whole minutes.

"What?" I exclaim.

"Oh nothing," he winks. "Just waiting."

A Toclafane appears in the air. I jump back, gasping. It hovers over his left shoulder, silent. For the most part. There's a little whirring going on.

"Have you ever seen anything so precious?" the Master says. I don't know if he's addressing the Toclafane or me. "She is the perfect spy, because she didn't even know that she was one!"

"Is the machine ready?" The Toclafane has a high pitch female voice.

Saxon doesn't stop regarding me. "Tomorrow morning," he pulls out a handkerchief and starts wiping my face. "It reaches critical at 8:02 precisely."

"We have to escape. Because it's coming, sir. The darkness, the never-ending darkness. The terrible, terrible cold. We have to run and run and run!"

Anyone else thinking of the crack in time here? I don't think that's what the Toclafane is talking about, but it sure is all I can think of.

The Master brushes a lock of hair out of my eyes. I spit in his face. He just smiles and wipes it away. "8:00 tomorrow morning. Tell your people. The world is waiting."

The fact that he doesn't hit me is worse than if he did.

He cups the handkerchief over my nose. "Now, blow."


	8. 3:  Sound of Drums Part Three

**This started out really hard to, well, start, but once I did, it just flew out. Lily is starting to prove herself, I think.  
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**The Sound Of Drums**

**Part Three**

It's a really good thing that I'm not diabetic, because the night has passed and I have still not eaten. The Master has. Oh, yeah, he gorged himself with a full English breakfast. The bastard. He offered me a bite of his blood sausage or whatever the hell that crap is, but I instead replied that I would rather bite _off_ his sausage, if you know what I mean. Lucy didn't look very happy about it. Actually, Lucy doesn't look happy in general. I'm beginning to think she's a little, you know, off.

Hands bound, mouth gagged, I've been thrown into the back of a ritzy limo—and, mind you, no one put a seatbelt on me—dragged out of the limo, put onto a plane, pulled out of the plane, pushed into some conference room filled with reporters on this giant ship in the middle of the sky, and left there to rot. Ok, that might be an exaggeration. I've been here for at least an hour or something. And, wouldn't you know it, no one is batting an eyelash to the fact that I am bound and gagged. In fact, no one is even looking at me at all. I was just plopped onto a chair on the, if you are looking at the stairs in front of me, stage right side of the conference table, my legs tied to the chair legs.

So I'm starving, I haven't showered since the night of the costume party—which seems like lifetimes ago—my gun was blown to bits, the malfunctioning vortex manipulator is completely non-functional, and I'm a hostage.

This world is just fantastic, isn't it?

I look around, since that's about all I can do right now. There is an odd 60's nautical meets 60's b-movie sci-fi thing going on. I recognize the room, of course, since I've seen all this before. The light wood panelling and round windows. Giant glass conference table. A frosted plastic drop ceiling. The lofted floor at the front with what seriously looks like the cockpit of a spaceship from a science fiction TV show. Of course, I am inside a science fiction TV show… but anyway, can I just say that I am SO not digging this decor?

The door bursts open and in walks some old American guy with thinning light brown hair and a blue tie. The Master and Lucy follow close behind, along with a half dozen or so men in suits and an important demeanor.

"I want the whole thing branded in my sort of honest, not the United Nations'. Got that?" He walks straight to the front of the room. Geez, does this guy think he's the President or something?

Oh wait… he is in this world. Whoops.

"Anything I can do?" The Master walks up the President What's-His-Name and is clearly, for lack of better American term, taking the piss. "I could make tea or isn't that American enough? I don't know, I could make grits. What are grits, anyway?

"If you could just sit." Mr. President doesn't like the Master. I think I'd vote for him just for that reason alone.

The Master turns away, lips pursed in that annoying way he has. "Misery guts," he focuses on Lucy and myself. "What do you think? It's good, isn't it?"

"It's beautiful," Lucy drones, clearly higher than the clouds around us. She floats to a chair opposite from me, head searching for, I dunno, nargles or something. Seriously, is there anything underneath that faux-blonde hair? Anything at all?

The Master looks at me expectantly. As if I can answer with tape over my mouth. I just fix him with the best glare I can manage. He smirks and rips of tape off my mouth. Ow. Worse than a band aid. "There we are! Such beautiful lips should not be covered."

"Suck it," I say.

"Tempting," he replies. "Now be good, else I'll cover your luscious lips with something you will find far worse than tape."

I struggle against my bonds. "You're a pig."

"You're adorable," he beams at me. He heads to the other side of the table.

"HELP ME!" I scream, jumping up and down as best as I can while tied to a chair.

No one jumps. No one turns. No one even stops talking. Business as usual.

"Oh, they can't hear you," the Master says, settling down next to Loony Lucy. "I'm planted a very strong perception filter somewhere on your person. Only I know you're here. They don't even know I'm talking to you. I could say anything to you right now such as I AM GOING TO FORNICATE WITH YOU NOW ON TOP OF THIS TABLE AND THE WHOLE WORLD WILL WATCH."

Nothing.

"Some of my best work," he says to Lucy. "Ministry of Defense. I helped build this place." He fixes me with a dark look. "Every detail."

This is just fantastic.

The President of the United States climbs the steps to the top of the loft. "Two minutes, everyone!" He turns to us, all stuffy and important. "According to the treaty, all armed personnel are requested to leave the flight deck immediately. Thank you." His American accent seems so… bland and out of place. I'm really used to the British now.

As the Secret Service and other armed people file out of the room, the Master reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small white bag. "Jelly baby?" He offers one to Lucy. She takes one and bites into it like a hyena.

Plonk.

One bounces of my head, which the Master takes great pleasure in. If I had use of my hands, I'd totally give him the finger right now. Well, no. If I had use of my hands, I'd be untying my legs so that I can get the hell out of here.

"Broadcasting at 7:58 with the arrival timed at 0800 precisely," the President continues. "And, uh, good luck to all of us."

You're the one who needs the luck, buddy. You're gonna be dust in a few minutes.

God, what am I going to do?

Those two minutes drag on like two hours. Then…

"My fellow Americans, patriots, people of the world…" How American can you get? America before the world… Sounds like us. "I stand before you today as ambassador for humanity, a role I will undertake with utmost solemnity. Perhaps our Toclafane cousins can offer us much, but that is important is not that we gain material benefits, but that we learn to see ourselves anew. For as long as man has looked to the stars, he has wondered what mysteries they hold. Now we know we are not alone…"

"This plan, you gonna tell us?"

Such a familiar American voice.

DO NOT REACT!

I keep staring at the President, trying to keep a grin off my face. Do not look at them. I don't know how I can see them, but I must not look at them. Cannot let on to the Master that they are here. I clench my muscles as tight as possible. My eyes are dry from the effort. Oh, yeah, I can blink. Duh.

"If I can get this around the Master's neck…cancel out his perception, they'll see him for real," my heart flies at his voice. Oh, Doctor… "It's just hard to go unnoticed with everyone on red alert. If they stop me…you've got a key."

"Yes, sir." Captain Jack Harkness.

"I'll get him." Martha.

God, how I want to warn them. But I don't think that they can even see me. I'm using my peripheral vision to stare at them and they haven't looked at me once. I cough, loud, to try to get their attention. The Master glares at me.

"Sorry," I yell, smiling at him. Well, it's more like I'm baring my teeth than smiling. And I'm using my stage voice, a talent from all those years doing summer theater camps and school plays. It's all from the diaphragm. "Something in my throat! I haven't had a drink because I have been your hostage for days, Master!" Barf. I can't believe I have to call him that.

Martha reacts. "Is that…?"

"Shhh…" the Doctor whispers.

The Master turns back to the President.

The Doctor takes a couple slow steps towards me. "Lily?" he asks, voice low. Oo, it's all deep and sexy. "Can you hear me? Blink twice if you can."

I blink twice.

"Are you hurt? Once for no."

I blink once.

"How come no one heard her?" Martha asks in a whisper.

The Doctor is beside me now, using his sonic screwdriver on the ropes. I bite my lip to keep from glancing at the Master to see if he knows. "Perception filter," I reply, trying not to move my lips and being as quiet as possible. "Only the Master can hear me. And apparently you…" Ropes loose now, the Doctor stands up. "Go get him," I cheer. Quietly, of course.

But something about this doesn't seem right… I'm forgetting something, I know it.

Three Toclafane appear. The President turns to them, though most of his body is still facing the cameras.

"My name is Arthur Coleman Winters, President-Elect of the United States of America and designated representative of the United Nations. I welcome you to the planet Earth and its associated moon."

Toclafane One says, in a male voice, "You're not the Master."

"We like the Mr Master," female Toclafane Two voices.

"We don't like you," Toclafane Three reports.

The Doctor is back in my vision on the other side of the table. _Just do it_, I think. Come on, Doctor. Go faster. Everything will be better if you just move faster!

"I… can be Master, if you so wish," Winters says, vaguely confused. "I will accept mastery over you if that is God's will.

Just a couple more steps…

Toclafane Three scoffs. "Man is stupid."

Come on!

"Master is our friend." One.

He's almost there!

"Where's my Master, pretty please?" Two.

The Master jumps up. "Oh, all right then. It's me." He throws his arms in the air as he jumps in front of the cameras. "Ta-da!" He starts laughing. "Sorry. Sorry, I have this effect. People just get obsessed. Is it the smile? Is it the aftershave? Is it the capacity to laugh at myself? I don't know. It's crazy!"

Oh, good god. It's done. It's over. Let the Year That Never Was take effect.

"Saxon, what are you talkin' about?" Winters exclaims, clearly pissed off.

"I'm taking control, Uncle Sam. Starting with you." He flicks his gaze to one of the Toclafane. "Kill him."

I jump up. I can't help it. Not that I can do anything. The Toclafane shoots a laser at Winters. He's dust.

Everyone screams. People rush past me, knocking into me. One of them pushes me to the ground. My knee slams into the floor. Martha rushes to my side.

"Get out of here!" I say, waving her away from me. "Now!"

Her eyes bug out and she opens her mouth to say something, but the Master's next words interrupt her.

"Now then, peoples of the Earth, please attend carefully."

"Stop him!" a guard orders.

Martha and I jump up as two guards grab the Doctor and forces him to his knees. I take a couple of steps back from her. I don't have a plan. I'm not smart enough to have a plan. I just keep backing away until my back is against a wall.

"We meet at last, Doctor," the Master says, all Mad Scientist-y. "Oh, ho! I love saying that!"

"Stop this!" the Doctor pleads. "Stop it now!"

"As if a perception filter's gonna work on me. Oh, and look, it's the girlie and the freak," The Master turns to Martha, Jack, and myself. "Although, I'm not sure which one's which." Captain Jack rushes forward, but the Master pulls out his laser screwdriver. He shoots Jack with the orange beam. Down goes Jack. "Laser screwdriver, who'd have sonic? And the good thing is, he's not dead for long. I get to kill him again!"

Martha rushes to Jack.

The next thing that happens is never going to leave me.

One second, Martha is there. The next, she is dust.

The sound that rips from the Doctor and Jack… I can't even describe it.

I blink. That isn't supposed to happen.

"Funny thing with our friend Lily there," the Master says. I fall to my knees, bent over, staring at the spot where Martha once stood. "She knows all about this world. She told me exactly what's going to happen. Oops. I mean what should have happened." I slowly remove my gaze from the dust and stare at the Doctor. He's glaring at me with a mixture of disbelief, hate, and sadness. I shake my head.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm so sorry."

My voice is shaking. Any second now, I'm going to crumble into a horrible crying mess.

The Doctor dismisses me. There's no other word for it. One second I'm there, the next, I don't exist to him. Even from across the room, I can see it in his eyes.

"Master, just calm down," the Doctor pleads. "Just look at what you're doing. Just stop. If you could see yourself…"

The Master sighs and turns back to the camera. "Oh, do excuse me, little bit of personal business. Back in a minute." He saunters down the stairs, waving at the guards. "Let him go."

I just watch.

The guards push the Doctor to the floor. "It's that sound, the sound in your head. What if I could help?"

"Oh, how to shut him up?" The Master asks the heavens. "I know. Memory Lane! Professor Lazarus. Remember him? And his genetic manipulation device?"

There has to be something I can do…

"Did you think that little Tish got that job merely by coincidence? I've been laying traps for you all this time."

I know what Martha was supposed to do. Can I?

"And if I can concentrate all that Lazarus technology into one little screwdriver…But, ooh, if I only had the Doctor's biological code. Oh, wait a minute, I do!"

I crawl over to Jack. I don't know if he knows me, but maybe I can convince him, quickly, to let me do this.

"I've got his hand!"

I put my hand on Jack's arm. He glares at me. But maybe something in my gaze catches his attention, because that glare softens.

"And if Lazarus made himself younger, what if I reverse it?"

I bite my lip, trying to form the words.

"Another hundred years?"

I close my eyes against the Doctor's screams.

"I can help," I say. "I know what needs to be done. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I literally landed in the Master's grasp and he killed my vortex manipulator before I could leave." I gaze into Jack's eyes, trying to push as much feeling into my own eyes as I can. "I swear to you on the Doctor's name that I can fix this."

He believes me.

Jack hands me his vortex manipulator. I quickly latch it to my right arm, tugging down my sleeve so it's covered, then do the same to the left sleeve.

"Thank you," I say. And then I give into the urge. I press a quick kiss to his lips.

He smiles, looking exactly like, well, Jack. "Next time I see you, you'll give me more than that."

I wink at him. "Count on it."

No, no flirting. Bad Lily.

I crawl over to the Doctor.

Oh god, he's so old now. His hair, what little there is, is white. He looks at me with tired eyes. It's like his appearance matches his eyes now: so old and worn.

I put my hand on his wrinkled one.

"Aw, look at that," the Master mocks. "Lily and the Doctor. Sorry, Lils, he doesn't like you anymore."

The Doctor pulls his hand away from mine. "The Toclafane, who are they? Who are they?"

"Doctor, if I told you the truth, your hearts would break."

Seriously? He's not going to drag me away from the Doctor? Doesn't he know? Didn't he see it from my mind.

Apparently not.

I turn to the Doctor, grabbing his hand again, squeezing. "I will fix this," I tell him. "Your plan? The one you were going to tell Martha to do? I know what it is and I will do it. I promise you that."

"How can I trust you?" the Doctor asks.

Ok, that's a stab to the heart. Time to think. Fish fingers and custard won't work in this case. I need something better… Bad wolf? No, that's not good. Nothing with River or Donna… Ok, I really wish I knew his real name. Dammit!

"The first thing you ever said to Rose Tyler was, 'Run,'" No, that's not enough. "The last thing you ever said to Rose Tyler was her name. Because you faded away before you could tell her what you really feel. Those three words. So little, yet so big." I lock onto his eyes. "This is only my third time meeting you. So how can I know that?"

"So! Earthlings," the Master says. "Basically, um, end of the world. Here…come…the drums!

The music blares on.

The Doctor doesn't stop looking at me.

The world is crumbling. The sky is falling with Toclafane. It's a swarm.

I start to ramble. "I've met your future. Twice, actually, if we want to be technical," I think of 11 and his bowtie. "And I met you on the moon." 10's face when he saw me and that big hug I got. "That's it. I don't know how to make you trust me, Doctor, I'm…I'm just asking you. No, I'm begging you. I know how to fix all this and I'm going to do it. Just… assimilate with the network! Leave the rest to me."

"Shall we decimate them?" the Master cries, ecstatic. "That sounds good. Nice word—decimate. Remove one-tenth of the population!"

Screaming. Nothing but screams and explosions.

"_Valiant,_ this is Geneva! We're getting slaughtered down here!"

The Doctor presses a Tardis key into my hand. My heart leaps. I stand and take a step back, my eyes never leaving the Doctor's.

"Help us, for God's sake! Help us! They're everywhere!"

I roll up my right sleeve enough to open the vortex manipulator.

"This is London, _Valiant_! This is London calling! What do we do?"

I turn to Jack and give him a quick salute. He gives me one back, for once completely serious.

"They're killing us! The Toclafane are killing us!"

Back to the Doctor. Take a deep breath. Position my fingers over the button.

"Hey Master," I shout. He turns to me with a smile, which quickly freezes, because, I realize, he can hear me but he can't see me. His eyes are darting all over the room.

"Where is Lily?" His face is deadly serious. Not one of his fake serious faces. The anger is bubbling over. I can almost taste it.

I guess two perception filters are better than one?

"Geronimo," I say. Then rethink it. "Or, well, in this case, I guess it would be, Allons-y!"

I probably shouldn't be smiling right now. But I flick a smile at the Doctor, which he barely returns.

I press the button and I'm back on Earth.


	9. 4: The Year That Never Was Part One

**This is the first original adventure! This is more of a prologue than an actual chapter, but I promise it has a point. Also, I would like to thank and congratulate ClanaFan01 for winning the little mini-contest from a couple chapters ago. Thanks for naming my mystery character!  
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**The Year That Never Was**

**Part One**

I fall onto a bed. A nice, cushy full sized bed, with a soft brown down comforter, a memory foam mattress, and a really strong bed frame, apparently. I just wanna curl up and sleep in it. But that's a little Goldie Locks for me. Besides, I have a job to do.

I roll off the bed, smoothing the wrinkles out of the nicely made bed once I'm standing. The small bedroom's walls are a gentle sky blue; besides a few shelves, the walls are bare. There's a tall dresser on one wall. No curtains, just blinds. A giant flat screen TV. The distinct smell of dirty socks. Bachelor's pad? Maybe, though the neat bed throws me off.

But this isn't important.

The windows are cracked open. Chaos drifts into the room. People are screaming. Children are crying. The room shakes each time something blows up. I peak between two blinds. The air is thick with Toclafane. I step away from the window, shaking the Tardis key in my hand. I sigh and place the rope necklace around my neck.

BOOM.

I jump back as what sounds like glass explodes from somewhere very close.

This must be what the blitz was like.

The light wood door out of the room is closed. I press my ear against it. Nothing. Well, not that I can tell from the hell breaking loose outside. I turn the knob slowly and stick my head out. Just a small white hallway with white closet doors across from the bedroom. I open the door further, stepping into the hallway. A bathroom to my left. I turn right, creeping down the hall. A small kitchen barely five feet from the bedroom. Lots of dirty dishes on the counter. Through the kitchen—more like a kitchenette from the size—is a table covered in manila folders, stacks of papers, and empty beer bottles. I skip the kitchen, moving forward into a living room. Leather couch, ragged brown armchair. Another giant television. Dirty plates scattered across a short glass coffee table. Thankfully, the curtains are drawn.

I turn around, eyes the door warily. The chain lock is not in place, so the chance of someone being in the apartment is slim. I think. I press my eye to the peephole, but the hall is empty.

BANG.

I jump at the gunshot, spinning around to glare at the curtains.

Hopefully whoever lives here isn't coming home anytime soon.

I play with the Tardis key. Wait. The Master said that there was a strong perception filter on me. What if there's a tracking device, too?

Shit.

Time to feel myself up. I run my hands down my legs, my butt, my pockets—oh wait, these pants don't have pockets. I feel as much of my back and I can. Nothing out of the ordinary. Down my shirt. Boobs look fine.

Vortex manipulator. Not the one on my right wrist. The one on my left, the one that got me into this mess to begin with. I try the strap.

Oh look at that. It's finally off.

Freaking thing.

"I hate you so much," I tell it.

To prove my point, I turn and throw it as hard as I can against a wall. Well, I meant to throw it against a wall. Instead, it hits a lamp, which falls to the wood floor with a crash.

Oops.

Note to self, buy the owner a new lamp.

I probably shouldn't leave a vortex manipulator laying around some random person's apartment. Sighing, I trudge over to the broken lamp and retrieve the hateful item.

An image from a movie pops into my mind. I can't remember what movie exactly, but I remember that someone had a tracking device on them and they flushed it down the toilet to confuse the people looking for them.

Sounds perfect.

I run to the bathroom. The toilet seat is already lifted. Smiling, I dump the manipulator into the toilet and, giggling like an insane person, flush the vortex manipulator into the sewer.

"Yes!" I shout, throwing my arms in the air as it flushes down without a problem. Score one for Lily!

I check my reflection in the mirror. Besides a few bruises on my forehead and cheek, I can't see anything. Just in case I missed something in my inspection for the perception filter, I start stripping, tossing my white shirt on the floor after giving it a quick inspection. My black tank top quickly joins it. Off come the shoes, the pants. Nothing. Finally, I pull of my bra and underwear. Nothing suspicious.

I glance in the mirror again, staring at my face. My skin is extra pale—unsurprising, what with all the food I haven't been eating. My nose ring sparkles. Ah, crap. What if it's small enough to fit on my jewelry?

Sighing, I pull out the nose ring and the two (fake) diamond studs in my ears, even my hair tie for good measure. Down the toilet they go. The toilet makes an ominous bubbling sound, but it flushes (mostly) fine.

Nothing on me but the Tardis key.

Is there a bigger mirror? Oh, behind the bathroom door. Perfect. I spin about, checking my back. Besides the sporadic freckle and, ew, a couple of pimples, I don't see anything.

I glance at the shower. Well, I'm already naked. Might as well.

I pull back the shower curtain. Yep, this is definitely a man's apartment. The shower is relatively clean, but the toiletries are of the male persuasion. I turn on the water, and then place the Tardis key on the sink. I have no idea if water will effect it, so better safe than sorry.

This is so wrong. But it's gonna feel amazing. And who knows when I will get this chance again?

I step into the steamy stream of water and moan. Yep. This is heaven right here.

Possibly thirty minutes later and three washes of my hair later, I step out of the shower. Whoops, forgot to grab a towel. The cabinet under the sink has nothing but a half empty tub of Drain-O. I shrug and adventure into the hall. I open the closet. Yay! Clean towels. I wrap one around my hair and, after patting myself dry, I wrap another one around myself.

My stomach grumbles. Well, no, it sounds more like a lion roaring. Welp. Might as well do a full Goldie Locks. Well, 2/3 Goldie Locks. I can't risk sleeping here. I tip toe into the kitchen and open the fridge.

Oh, thank you lord! This is one bachelor that actually has food. Oh, I have never seen anything so gorgeous as a full fridge. I pull an apple out of the crisper and take a big bite.

Hello, juicy goodness.

Moaning in ecstasy, I lean against the counter for a moment as I chew on the delicious ambrosia of the gods.

I check the freezer. Chocolate ice cream! I drop the apple on the counter, grab the carton of ice cream, and open every damn drawer in the whole tiny kitchen until I find a spoon. I rip the cover off the carton and dig right in.

I start dancing.

Yup, I've totally lost it.

I start raiding the kitchen, taking bites of shortbread, carrots, and chugging down a glass of milk. Eggs! Protein! I should really have protein. I wash a small skillet and heat it up. Eggs, eggs, eggs. I love eggs! If only he had some corned beef hash, but I guess I'm not THAT lucky.

I shove another biscuit into my mouth and crack my first egg onto the hot skillet. As soon as it starts sizzling, the door to the apartment bursts open. I jump, inhaling deeply.

And immediately start coughing.

Shit. Shitshitshit.

"Who the bloody hell are you?"

The first thing I see is the gun pointed at me.

I stare at the man. He stares at me. Quick inventory. Black pants. Short sleeves white shirt. Loose black tie. Black bulletproof vest. A utility belt that would make Batman proud. The blue patch that says police is not needed. Short brown hair is all askew. Face smudged with dirt. Bleeding from the upper left arm.

I feel for the Tardis key. Crap! It's in the bathroom. I throw my arms in the air, palms out.

"I can explain, Officer!"

Oh sure, Lily, because that always works.

"Chaos reigns and you use my shower and eat my food. I should arrest you where you stand." His voice is deep and gruff, reminding me of a combination between Alan Rickman and Eliza Doolittle's father.

"I'm sorry, Officer" I say. "If you'll just let me explain…"

"How did you even get in?"

I bite my lip. "I, uh, teleported." How lame does that sound?

And then it happens.

The towel comes loose.

And falls to the floor.

I freeze, horrified.

The police officer stares at my breasts.

Blushing, I bend down and gather the moist towel. "I'm so sorry," I plead. "I don't mean any harm, Officer. Honest." I wrap the towel around myself, but don't stand. "I haven't eaten in days, I was kidnapped by the Master, I'm not even from this reality, I'm from a much more sane one where there are no aliens and no flying Toclafane going around killing people, except for on TV, which is how I got into this mess, because the Master learned I knew what was going to happen and tried to use me against the Doctor and he killed Martha and now I'm here because I'm supposed to make things better, and I landed in your bed, and I'm sorry I used your shower and ate your food, Officer, but I was just so hungry."

By the end of my tirade, I'm huddled on the floor crying into my hands and I don't think he understood anything I just said. I'm not even sure I was saying real words anymore.

He sighs and holsters his gun. "Constable."

I look up from my hands. "Huh?"

"I'm a constable, a detective constable, a DC, not an officer," he kneels down. "You do know you're in Britain, yes?"

I sniff. "Yes."

"Good," he shakes his head. "I have no idea what you were just blubbering about."

I wipe my nose. "Don't worry about it. I'll grab my things and go." Sniffling, I pull the towel of my head and trudge past the constable or whatever. Well, at least I got a little food in me and I didn't get shot. Better than nothing, I suppose.

"Half a mo," the man says before I enter the bathroom. I turn to him, wrapping my arms across my chest. "Have I met you before?"

I shrug. "I have one of those faces."

"No," he says. "I've met you. You're hair was shorter then. You saved my life."

I almost smile. "How short?"

"Just a bit longer than mine."

This time I do smile. "Where?"

"You don't remember?"

"It's been one of those days. Obviously."

As if to emphasize my point, something outside crashes.

"Canary Wharf."

I blow out a breath. Oh, time travel. How I love you!

"Would you believe me if I said that hasn't happened to me yet?"

He just stares at me. "After what I have seen today, I will believe most anything."

Thank you. Thank you, Jesus! I am very happy to not be killed before even starting my mission.

The constable shakes his head, as if waking himself from a dream, and wipes at his eyes.

"What happened?" I ask.

He tilts his head at me, giving me a clear "Are you insane?" look. "Have you been outside?"

"No, actually," I lean against the wall. "I told you, I teleported here." I shake my head. "I mean, duh, I know what happened. But I meant, what happened to you, specifically?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "When those… things came down from the sky and started killing everyone…" he sighs and looks at the ground. "I tried to save her."

I take a step towards him. "Girlfriend?"

"No," he says, rubbing a hand over his face. "No, no, no. My partner. Jillian Firth. They… killed her."

I lean against the wall. "I'm sorry," I whisper.

He sniffs, then looks down at me. He has a far way to look. He's very tall. "Cheers."

I gnaw my lower lip some more. "Listen… I'm going to set this right. A year from now today… well, she won't be dead."

He shakes his head and laughs in disbelief. "How is that even possible?"

"How is it possible that billions of robot aliens ripped open the sky and swooped down on us like demons from hell?"

He doesn't have an answer for that. We stand there, very awkward-like, for a few minutes, listening to the outside.

"Look, I hate to be a bother, well, more of a bother, but would you happen to have any clothes I could… borrow? I don't trust the ones I came with. They might have a tracking device or something on them."

He raises an eyebrow. I think of the Doctor, remember my mission. I should really get on this.

"What's your name?" he asks, folding his arms over his chest.

"Li…" I hesitate. I probably shouldn't trust him. So, "Lizzie. Lizzie Smith. Yours?"

"Michael O'Lachlan."

Awkward pause time again.

I bite my lip. "So… is that a yes or no?"


	10. 4: The Year That Never Was Part Two

**This is more of an interlude than an actual chapter, but in order for the next part to make sense, I thought this was needed. It's short, but if I kept going, I'd never get to the actual action. This "chapter" will most likely have two more parts. Enjoy!**

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**The Year That Never Was**

**Part Two  
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Michael digs out a pair of olive drawstring sweatpants and a black v-neck tee shirt for me. Obviously he wouldn't have a bra or underwear. I put mine back on for now—ew, dirty underwear—but I think when I get the chance I might, I dunno, raid a department store or something.

Hey. Don't give me that look. I'm trying to save the world here. I'm not gonna feel bad about stealing a bra and panties.

Michael is on the bulkier side, in a muscle-y sort of way, and even though I have some pretty big hips, I have to pull the drawstring on the sweatpants pretty tight. Well, he didn't call them sweatpants. When he said "jogging trousers," I got pretty confused. When I said sweatpants, he started chuckling. I can't say I understand why.

Clad in my new outfit, I roll up the sleeves of the tee shirt and stick the Tardis key in my pocket. I pull on a pair of socks that Michael gave me. Hmm. I really don't trust my boots, but there is nothing for it. I slide them on. I so need to get a new outfit somewhere. Lastly, I sling the vortex manipulator back onto my wrist.

Hmm, I smell… eggs.

I meet Michael in the kitchen. It's dark, as he turned off all the lights and closed all the drapes. He said he wanted to be sure nothing will try to get in. I told him that they probably have sensors and will get in here at some point. He just patted his gun.

Men and their firearms.

I lean against the door jam, watching him fry a couple eggs. He's washed his face and took off the bulletproof vest. The tie is gone and the top three buttons of his shirt are undone.

"This is, like, so surreal," I run my fingers through my damp hair. "The world is ending, I teleported to some random guy's apartment, and you're making eggs."

"You keep saying the word teleport," Michael plates the eggs. "How did you teleport?"

I hold up my wrist. "Vortex manipulator."

"Yes, because that explains everything." Tone of total sarcasm.

I shrug. "I don't really know how to explain. Basically, it allows the wearer to travel through time and space. Not that I really know how to use it. Explains how I ended up here, though." I flip open the cover and frown at the face of the tiny machine. There are a few buttons and a screen, but… yeah, no idea.

Michael takes my wrist. "Oh, this is easy," he says. He points at a button. "This adjusts the coordinates, this adjusts the time, and that button makes you go."

My jaw drops. Seriously? "How the hell can you tell?" I put the thing as close to my eyes as possible and don't see any writing.

"I'm just clever," he winks at me.

I shake my head. "Whatever. Look, I have to go. Thanks for the clothes and the shower and the random food I ate." I start randomly smashing buttons. Michael puts his hands over the manipulator.

"Wait," he says. "Where exactly are you going? These things are everywhere. It isn't safe." His hazel eyes are filled with concern. We both wince at another explosion.

I swallow. Ok, might as well start now. "I know how to stop all of this. It's going to take a while, but I have to do it."

"How?"

I take a deep breath and begin. "You see, there's this guy."

"Of course."

"No, it's not like that," my face heats up at his clear jealousy, but I continue. "Let me start again. There is this man called the Doctor…"

Half an hour, two eggs, countless pieces of bacon (the weird, disappointing, but pretty ok British bacon), and two slices of buttered toast later, I'm sipping a cup of tea, staring at Michael's thoughtful expression. His eyebrows are furrowed. I'm curled up on the couch. He's in the armchair.

"He really did all that?" he says finally.

I nod. "Yeah. He saved the world oh so many times."

"I think I remember him," Michael scratches his head. "It's a little fuzzy at the moment—been a corker of a day—but I remember, after you saved me, he grabbed your hand, pointed at me, and said, 'run.'"

I smile. "Sounds like him."

Michael drinks his tea and sets the cup and saucer onto the coffee table. "Right then. When do we start?"

I almost drop my cup. "Say what?"

"You both saved my life. I owe you a debt."

I blink a few thousand times. "Uh, you can't come with me. It's too dangerous."

"Lizzie," he says. Whoops. Now I feel guilty. "I'm a DC. What did you do before you decided to save the world?"

I roll my eyes. "That doesn't matter, we're talking about aliens here, which you know nothing about."

He just stares at me.

"Ugh! Fine. I am…was… a customer service representative in an electronics store."

He nods. "Then we are in agreement." He stands, striding to the hallway.

"No!" I jump off the couch, following him to his bedroom. "There is no agreement! You're not coming!"

Michael growls and pushes me against the wall. I gulp. He traps me between his arms. "They killed my partner. I can't reach my family. I can't sit here wondering if your plan is going to work."

"Don't be a hero," I start.

He cuts me off. "Look outside! The world has ended. The world needs all the heroes it can get."

As far as plans go, it wouldn't be the worst. Lord knows I barely know what I'm doing.

"Ok," I say, placing my hands on his upper arms. Oh, wow, he is all muscle. "I have two conditions."

"Such as?"

"When I say run, you run," I push against his arms. It's like trying to move a boulder. "If I have to leave without you, I will, because the mission's what matters."

"I spent three years in the desert," he leans into my face. "I know all about missions."

My eyebrows pop up. "You were in the military?"

"Special Forces."

Ok, wow. Just…wow. "How old are you?"

"Thirty-five. Yourself?"

I feel young now. "Twenty-five. From Special Forces to Detective Constable? That doesn't make sense to me. Seems like a step or two down."

He takes a step back. "I wanted to protect, not murder." Michael stares at the floor.

Alright then. Not gonna ask. Man, I would be so stupid not to bring him with me. Special Forces? Like, seriously? Is everyone in this universe amazing?

"Pack a bag if you want," I say.

He pivots, kneels next to the bed, and pulls something out from under it. "Done," he says, strapping a camo bag to his back. It looks like it weighs more than I do.

I smirk. "Is that a Bug Out Bag?" I tease.

"Always be prepared," he shrugs.

"Were you a boy scout, too?"

"Yes."

Of course.

"Ok," I say. I pull the Tardis key out of my pocket and put it around my neck. Michael looks around the room.

"Where…?"

I wave my arms. "Right in front of you still."

"How…?"

"Perception filter."

"I know you're there, but…"

"Yeah, I know, it's how it works. Off we go!" I punch some random coordinates into the vortex manipulator, place Michael's hand on it, and punch the button.


	11. 4: The Year That Never Was Part Three

**I just want to thank everyone for the reviews! Thank you so much! I have a lot planned for this story (yes, this is just the beginning), so I really hope you stick around!  
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**The Year That Never Was**

**Part Three**

_Three Months Later_

I scream, but take in a mouthful of water instead. Ok, that was a bad idea. A hand grabs mine and I'm yanked from the raging white water. I crawl onto a giant rock, coughing the cold river water from my lungs. Michael wraps his arm around my middle and draws me against him. We sit there, breathing for a moment, watching the water rage by the rainforest.

"Well… _that_ could have been worse," I say, tossing Michael a grin.

Michael glares at me. "How so?"

"We could have landed splat on some rock and had our brains scattered all over the place."

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><p><em>Two Weeks Ago<em>

"Do you at least know where we are this time?" Michael's tone carries the same exasperation my mother's used to have when I would call home from college with my latest scheme for asking my parents for money.

I humph and stick my nose in the air. "Of course I do! We are on planet Earth."

I hope.

I continue leading us down a the dusty, rocky side of a hill. Or maybe it's a mountain. I dunno, all I see is beige sand and maybe some trees in the distance.

Michael shakes his head. "Do you at least know the continent?"

I slap at a fly that has landed on my arm. "One that has flies?"

Michael sighs.

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><p><em>Five hours before<em>

"Run!"

Like I need to be told that. Michael grabs by hand and we start running down an alley, guided by the moonlight. Our breath comes out in frosty gasps. I'm shivering, clearly not dressed for this kind of weather. I don't think I like Russia.

We press ourselves against a shadowed brick wall, listening for the tell-tale whirr of a Toclafane, though I'd be surprised if I heard one over the sound of my chattering teeth.

"Storyteller?"

I jump at the whispered voice and spin around. A small, blonde little girl, maybe ten or eleven years old, bundled in a thick, fur lined coat peeks her head out from a basement window a few yards parallel to where Michael and I were hiding. A yellowish light frames her small head. She holds two fingers out to me.

I can't help but smile. Word travels fast, even without the internet.

Michael does this cool cop move to check for danger. You know, the thing they do in movies when they're holding a gun and press themselves against a wall, then look around it. I dunno, it's hard to explain. It gets me every time.

"Clear," he says.

I sprint toward the little girl, the twin braids thumping against my back. My hair has grown a lot since we've started this adventure. Despite the vortex manipulator, there isn't time for frivolous things like cutting hair. Michael, however, always seems to find time to shave. While not exactly clean shaven, he does keep his facial hair down to a five o'clock shadow most of the time. I'd rather sleep.

I dip down to the little girl, giving her the peace sign. She smiles, revealing a gap where a front tooth should be.

"Mama!" the little girl shout-whispers. "It's the Storyteller!"

The little girl disappears. A worn woman in a brown babushka replaces her. Her face is tight, drawn with worry.

"Second star to the right," I say.

"And straight on 'til morning." The accent is thick, but understandable. It's amazing, really. I barely spent three minutes on the Tardis and she's translating for me. Even though she's been cannibalized.

I smile at her, pumping as much hope into the gesture as I can. "That is the way to Neverland."

The woman starts to cry.

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><p><em>Six Months Later<em>

"Japan!" I exclaim.

Michael just grumbles. In Earth time, it's been six months since we started our voyage. In my time? It's been one and a half years. It's weird to think that somewhere else on this planet, Michael and I are traveling, telling the Story of the Doctor. It's been a time. We've almost been killed by Toclofane more often than I can count and we've almost been killed by locals, well, every time we go someplace. I'm trying to keep a happy face. This will end someday, someday when I am sure I've done what I've needed to. There is no way that I am half-assing this.

More often then not, I've landed us somewhere where, well, we didn't need to land. But how am I supposed to know where to go? I just… type in some coordinates and hope for the best. What? It's not like I have an instruction manual or anything.

The streets of the small town are seemingly deserted. Rubble and trash litter the sides of the street. More windows are broken than whole. The sun beats down, winking against the shiny round bodies of the Toclafane.

I squeeze Michael's hand. We learned a long time ago that as long as we are touching, the perception filter works on both of us.

"Hey," I say, stepping over an empty can. "Are you ok?"

He rubs his thumb over my own. "After this, can we stop somewhere for a night? I'm buggered."

I plop my head against his shoulder. "Just a few more towns, Michael."

He tsks and moves just far enough away that my head falls off his shoulder. "You said that five towns ago."

"You're the one complaining? Mister Special Forces?" I try to keep my voice down, but it's hard. Despite the Toclafane whizzing about, I wanna haul off and slap Michael.

"I'm just tired, ok?" he snaps. "Saving your bleeding arse every five minutes makes a man bloody knackered."

I stop walking, which makes him jerk to a stop. "Oh, don't get all British on me! You didn't need to come with me!" I poke him in the chest.

"I knew when I met you that if I didn't come with you, you'd die within three minutes."

My jaw drops. Tears prickle the corner of my eyes. "I don't need you," I warn. "I could do fine on my own."

"Please," he rolls his eyes. "You couldn't last ten seconds without me."

I rip my hand away from his. "You think so? Fine!"

I run away, ignoring his protesting. Childish, yes, but satisfying. I haven't been traveling day and night, talking until my throat is raw so some ungrateful man can insult me like that. I'm trying to save the world here and he has the gaul to act like I'm a child in need of protecting?

BAM!

I stop short, skidding around. Michael is flat on his back.

"No," I say, running as fast as I can back to him, kicking up dust in all directions.

Toclofane are everywhere, chasing me. Lasers whizz past me, barely missing. I slide to a stop next to Michael's unconscious form, coughing at the cloud of dust.

I take his face in mine. "Michael?"

Nothing.

I throw myself on top of him, hoping that if I keep still the Toclofane will think we're gone. Crap! A laser nips the side of my arm. I hiss in pain. Nope, not hidden. I made too much noise and movement before. I grab Michael's gun and scramble to a standing position. I start shooting, holding the gun with two hands. Both eyes open, just like he taught me. I hit one of the five Toclofane coming towards us.

"Shit!" I exclaim, pumping an empty clip.

I drop shove the gun into my pocket and rip the cover off the vortex manipulator, punching in familiar coordinates. I place Michael's hand on top of it and I'm covered in electrical heat.

We land in a dark cave. I pull a small flashlight out of my pocket and turn it on. The cave is scattered with worn furniture, gallons of clean water, and boxes of imperishable foods. We found this place, oh, ages ago, and I committed the coordinates to memory. We stocked it up with supplies we would need in case of an emergency. I don't know exactly where we are, but it's some sort of rainforest or something.

"Michael," I say, patting his cheek. "Please, please wake up! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! You're right. I need you. I wouldn't last three seconds without you." I rip open his button up shirt, revealing the white shirt beneath. No blood. Just to be sure, I pull his shirt up, inspecting his chiseled chest for bruises.

"If you wanted to look under my clothes, you just needed to ask."

I gasp. Michael has one eye open. He's laughing. He's freaking laughing.

"I hate you so much," I say, punching his stomach.

He grabs my wrist and pulls himself to a sitting position. "No you don't, love," he whispers before capturing my lips with his own

* * *

><p><em>Two Days Ago<em>

"Did he really do all that?"

The little boy gazes up at me with giant brown eyes. I smile, shifting him in my lap to a more comfortable position. People all ages, from babies to great-grandparents, are looking at me with the same expression: hope. Oh, what is more beautiful in a time of terror than hope?

"Yes he did," I say, keeping my tone smooth and relaxed. "He saved the world from Prisoner Zero and then when the Atraxi were leaving, he called them back to give them a scolding." Sure, it hasn't happened yet, but it's not like anyone is going to remember this. "He told the Atraxi to let the whole universe know that Earth is protected."

"What he say, exactly?" a snooty teenage boy asked. Oh, there's always one.

"Simple," I answer. "He said, 'Hello, I'm the Doctor. Basically… run."

"And they ran!" the little boy in my lap giggles.

I poke his nose. "Oh yes. They ran fast and far, never to return to Earth." Vague lie. "And they told everyone else in the universe not to come here."

"'Cause we are protected," a little girl holding a teddy bear.

"Yes we are," I confirmed.

The crowd mumbles to themselves, then the snooty teenage boy retorts. "If this Doctor is so great, why didn't he stop Saxon from taking over the world?"

How often have I heard that one?

"Because he is only one man," I say. The words slip out easy, almost as if they were lines I rehearsed for a play. "And even though he is the greatest man, he's not perfect. He needs us as much as we need him. It's time we let him know that we love him as much as he loves us."

I catch Michael's eye as I say that. I can't help but smile at him. He returns it, then resumes his post as lookout.

"When?" an old woman with pure white hair asks.

"When the clock runs out."

* * *

><p><em>Three Hours Before<em>

"When are we going to America?"

The question has been plaguing my mind even before Michael asks it. It's been almost three years in our time since we started our journey. In all that time, I've yet to go to America. Even in my button smashing days, the days before we discovered an atlas with coordinates to just about everywhere in the world, we didn't land in America.

I plait my hair into a long braid down my back. "I guess that's next," I say. "I think everywhere else is covered, either by us or the messengers."

Michael leans onto one elbow. We're resting on a cliff on top of a hill so tall it might as well be a mountain in Africa. The stars twinkle above, the moon casting a silvery glow across the pride land.

"Are you scared?"

"I don't know what I'm going to find there," I answer.

"Lizzie," he sighs.

I bite my lip. In all these years, I've yet to tell him my real name. We've shared just about everything else, but not that. I like being Lizzie Smith. Lizzie is stronger than Lily, more confident, braver. In some ways, Lizzie is prettier too. All this walking has made me lose a lot of fat and gain a lot of muscle. I love it.

I almost don't want this to end. It's sick, I know, but despite all the near death, all the fighting, all the talking, it's the best time I've ever had. And I'm known through out the world. Lizzie is the Storyteller. Michael is the Protector. We're famous.

I know. I'm terrible.

* * *

><p><em>11 Months Later<em>

"Where are we?"

I don't know how many times Michael has asked me this, but this time, even though I know the answer, I don't say anything. I just stare up at the white Victorian house. Taking a deep breath, I walk up the four steps to the front door. I knock three times.

After a brief wait that seemed to take forever, the door opens.

The person who answers the door has messy brown hair, a deep tan, and big, brown eyes. He's wearing a plain black tee shirt and ripped jeans. He clearly has no idea who I am. But I know him. Even if he is a few years younger than in my world.

"Can I help you?" Ricky Lopez, my best friend in an alternate universe, looks me up and down.

My heart falls. I knew this was too good to be true. "I was looking for Lillian Meyers," I try.

Ricky folds his arms over his chest. "Who's asking?"

"I'm her… cousin," I say, grasping at straws. "Elizabeth. Lizzie."

Yes, I do have a cousin Lizzie. No, Ricky has not met her. Well, in my universe anyway.

Ricky glances at Michael, then looks back at me. Oh, I know that face. That's his bitchy face. He is so not happy. "Lily is dead."

The world is suddenly spinning. I grab the railing to keep from falling. "Dead?"

"Look, Lily was my best friend, ok? She never said nothing about any cousin."

He's closing the door. I leap forward and shove my foot between the door and the jam.

"Our families didn't get along," I explain, as fast as I can. "Uncle Mitch and Aunt Gloria hated my parents, with good reason. They were… not the best parents in the world." I have another thought. "Are Uncle Mitch and Aunt Gloria here?" I ask in a whisper.

Mom and Dad…

Ricky looks at me like I'm crazy. "Girl, they've been dead for two years."

Great. Even in this universe. I really do have nothing tying me here.

"I'm sorry," I stare at the ground, willing myself to not cry. They've been dead in my universe for years. Why would it be any different here? "I didn't know."

"Well, now you do," he snaps. "So, if you'll excuse me…"

He's kicking my foot out of the door.

"Bye, Ricky," I whisper.

The door closes. I turn around, sniffling. This was so stupid. Why the hell did I think that was a good idea? I open my mouth to say… I dunno, something, to Michael, when the door slams open.

"How do you know my name?"

I spin around, facing down a confused Ricky.

"I…" I stammer.

Ricky steps outside and gets in my face. He looks me up and down again, this time searching. He apparently finds what he's looking for.

"Lily?" His eyes are wide, unbelieving.

"Hi," I wave lamely.

He grabs me, screaming like a little school girl, and squeezes me into a tight hug. "How is this possible?"

"Trust me when I say that it's nearly impossible to explain."

"Try me," he says, hands on his hips.

"I'm from an alternate universe where this universe is a TV show, well, my favorite TV show, but apparently you are still real and so was I. Or, well, a version of me." The words tumble out. God, I have SO wanted to tell someone that.

Ricky looks at me like I'm crazy. "I stand corrected."

"I hate to be a bother, _Lily_" Michael sneers. We break away from our hug. "But we should take cover." He glares at me.

I gulp. Ok, maybe I should have told him what I was doing… and who I am… and where I'm from.

Ah, crap.


	12. 4: The Year That Never Was Part Four

**Thanks for hanging in there. I promise after this, we'll see the Doctor again. I just thought this would be a great way to show a bit of Lily's background. And, really, if you landed in a parallel world, wouldn't you try to find the people you love, too?  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.4.<strong>

**The Year That Never Was**

**Part Four**

I'm a terrible person.

The thought weighs my mind as Ricky leads Michael and me into the house. Not that I need leading. Ricky and I lived in this house together since junior year of college. But this isn't my Ricky. I have to keep reminding myself that. It looks like him—again, a younger him. I left my universe in 2011. As of right now, it's, what, 2007? So if I was twenty-five when I started this journey back in 2011 my time, even though it's 2007 now, and has been for three years for me, am I actually twenty-eight?

I think I just went cross eyed…

Ok, no more thinking about time.

I don't look at Michael. I can feel him fuming behind me. I half expect him to start screaming at me. But I guess he's very, well, English in that regard… you know, stiff upper lip thing? That whole stereotype? Whatever, I know what I mean.

Ricky, who hasn't let go of me since the Great Revelation of My Identity, squeezes my hand as he pulls me into the living room. Well, nothing here is different. Everything is in it's place and completely spotless. Same leather couches. Different TV, but the same old one from the 90's that we had before his ex-boyfriend threw no less than three beer bottles across the room at him (and I got in the way for a bit of that). But that didn't happen until after we graduated college… which hasn't happened yet in this reality.

Oh, god. That means…

The Evil Ex, with that stupid red faux-hawk he refused to get rid of and that horrible gray Ed Hardy shirt, gapes at me like he's seen a ghost. In a way, for him, he has.

I skip over him, checking out who else is here. Alexis King! My female other half! Julie Roman, the rich drama queen. Brendan Hyde, the sci-fi geek. No Daniel… but of course, I didn't know Daniel in 2007. I had just met him in my reality. There are a few other people missing, people I've become friends with since college. But this is the core group, the people who really matter. The coffee table piled with delicious smelling curry. My mouth waters.

Thank god I didn't have a boyfriend in 2007. I don't know if I could deal with that. I think Michael would literally explode if that were the case.

"Oh my god…" Lexi, my bestie, runs up to me.

Suddenly, I'm covered in people. People I love.

Tears stream down my face and I sob in happiness, hugging everyone, squeezing them like I haven't seen them in years. Which I haven't. I never thought I would see them again.

But… are they really my friends?

"How is this possible?" Lexi squishes my face between her hands.

I just shake my head, not knowing where to start.

"It's not," a bitchy, nasally voice replies.

Aaaand this is where it all gets ruined. Jonah Stein, the Evil Ex, is great at this sort of thing. He didn't join in on the festivities. He never liked me, which is fine. I never liked him. Ricky is way better than him.

He's standing now, arms crossed, hip cocked in that bitchy manner he has. "I saw her die with my own two eyes. And look at her! Lily was way fatter. And younger looking."

Are you there, God? It's me, Lily. I know we don't talk very often, but I will never, ever ask you for anything ever again if you will just give me the ability to kill someone with my mind. Just one person. I swear it's worth it. I know you're supposed to be all powerful and stuff, but, let's face it, I think you were having an off day when you created Jonah. Or did the Devil make him?

"Look, you asshole," I say, breaking away from my group of friends. "As usual, you have no idea what you're talking about. So why don't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

"Or what? You'll cower in a corner and wait for Ricky to sort out your life for you? Because that's what the real Lily would do."

Smack.

Ok, didn't see that coming. One moment, he's standing there. The next, my fist hurts and Jonah's bleeding from the nose.

To be fair, I've wanted to do that for a very long time.

"I hope the Toclafane cut you to pieces," I growl in his face. "You're a waste."

Two hands pull me back, then wrap around my arms so I can't break free. Everyone else is staring at me, jaws dropped. I'm not a violent person, I swear. At least, not usually…

"Is this why you came here?" Michael hisses into my ear. "You're supposed to bring hope and peace, not violence."

I crane my neck to try to see him. "See this scar on my face? This is because of him!"

"This isn't the time," he spins me around so he's looking into my eyes. His fingers dig into my upper arms. "This isn't even the right place. You shouldn't have come here."

That sobers me. My heart is racing, so I try to calm my breath. "I had to know."

"Know what?" Ricky asks. He's in front of Jonah, taking a protective stance. His arms are folded across his chest again and there is so much distrust in his face.

This is such a familiar argument. I don't know why I'm bothering. He'll never learn.

No, he does. He does learn. In his own time. My time… my universe… the place I should be.

I close my eyes and sigh, expelling my pent up frustration. I shouldn't have come here. Michael's right. I just… wanted a taste of home. Being a superhero is fun, yeah, but in the end, you are alone. Completely and utterly alone. Not even Michael, my Michael, my Protector, can understand.

I open my eyes and say the one thing I thought I would never say. "I'm sorry, Jonah." The words are bitter and I want to puke, but I say them. Because it's the right thing to do. Michael lets me go, but I don't move away from him.

"Bitch," Jonah spits.

I am rubber. You are glue.

Michael, surprisingly, comes to my aid. "Apologize." I know that tone. It's deep, it's territorial, it's growling, it's sexy as all hell.

"No, it's fine. I hit him," I place my hand on his chest, even though Michael didn't even make a move towards Jonah. "Let's just forget it. We should go."

"Go?" Lexi exclaims. "You can't just go! We saw you die! How are you here?"

I bite my lip and turn to her. Her bright blue eyes are shining with unshed tears. "Lex, I'm not your Lily. I'm from a different universe. And the future. Well… I guess I different universe in the future? I dunno, it's hard to explain."

"A parallel universe," Brendan explains. "Like 'Mirror, Mirror.' An ion storm opened the boundaries between two parallel universes and Spock and Kirk switched places with mirror-Spock and mirror-Kirk." We all give him a collective look of confusion. He sighs in frustration. "Or like that episode of _Buffy_ where she's injured by that demon and she wakes up in a mental institution and is told by her doctor and her parents that there are no such thing as vampires and she's not the Slayer and that she's been catatonic for years and if she doesn't kill her friends and sister in the Slayer-verse, she will go back into a catatonic state."

"Ok, a bit like that," I reply after a moment. "Except I'm still not Buffy. Sadly." I think for a moment. "Actually, it's more like the episode 'The Wish' where Cordelia wishes that Buffy never came to Sunnydale and Anya grants the wish and suddenly there are vampires all over the place and the Master rose, because Buffy wasn't there to stop him, and then Buffy is killed." I shake my head. "But, no. It's nothing like that. It's more like that episode of _Doctor Who_ where him and Rose end up in Pete's world and there are Cybermen and that is not a TV show here, that's reality, so that's a really bad example. Sorry. I actually forgot for a moment."

Everyone just stares at me.

"Um, if that's not Lily, then I'm Paris Hilton," Julie states. Everyone, Jonah including, mumbles their agreement, except Michael, who just stares at me with anger beneath the surface.

"I'm still confused," Ricky says.

"Oh! I got it!" I smile, raising my hand. "It's like _Pleasantville_. Toby McGuire and Reese Witherpoon are sucked into that TV show!" Everyone looks a little less confused, but not much. "See, in my parallel universe, there's this TV show… and anyway, it's my favorite—yes, Brendan, even over _Buffy_—and I was dressed up as one of the characters and somehow got, well, sucked into the show."

"So, we're just characters? Not real people?" Lexi asks.

I shake my head. "No. I don't know. I didn't even think you guys would be real here, but I had to look." I sigh. "In my world, the Master is just a character. None of this happens, except on TV. But here… well, here it's real. So, no you're not characters, and no one else is, either. It's real. Very, very real."

Hello, epiphany. That only took you three years.

I tuck a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "Look, I've been traveling for a while now, letting everyone know that this isn't going to last forever. This is going to end. Very soon."

Brendan cocks his head to the side. "Are you the Storyteller?"

I don't miss the look that Jonah gives me. Surprise. Contempt. Victory.

I never trusted him in my world. I don't trust him here, either. More so, actually.

"No," I lie. The word slips off my tongue easily. I've never actually lied to my best friends, but now is the time. Because I don't trust Jonah. Who knows who the Master has recruited?

"But you introduced yourself as Lizzie Smith," Ricky insists.

And now I've painted myself into a corner. How the hell am I going to get out of this one?

"Who hasn't heard of Lizzie?" I respond, trying to be nonchalant. "It took me forever to get here. I didn't know if I existed. So of course I used Lizzie's name. She's only the most famous person in the world. What better name to use?"

Now that's laying it a little thick.

"Using the name of the Master's Most Wanted?" Jonah says, a look of pure glee in his face. "You must be Lily. No one else would be that stupid."

Michael grabs my right hand. I look around the room, at the familiar faces, at the familiar room. The clean room. There is no one else in here who shouldn't be. Everywhere else Michael and I have been has been packed with people, dirty, people starving, strangers giving their share to each other. The whole world is a third world country now. Except the people we avoid. The people under the influence of the Master. They have clean houses. Big houses. Lots of food. Good food. Yummy smelling food.

I've made a very, very big mistake.

My heart breaks.

"No…" I say.

"He knows you're here," Julie warns. "He knew you would come. He spared us for that reason."

My friends. My best friends. More of a family than anything. Sold me out for a clean house and good food and whatever other privileges the Master offered. They all stare at me with such glee, like hungry sharks. All except Ricky, who just looks sorry.

Michael tugs be back. "We need to get out of here," he says. I walk backwards on autopilot, but can't take my eyes away from him. "Lily!" The sound of my real name on his lips is so unfamiliar that I face him. "It's not safe."

"Oh, you can't leave," Jonah says, taking a step towards us. "You think he doesn't know what you've been doing? Where is it?"

I blink, turning away from Michael. "Where is what?"

"The weapon."

I almost laugh. Yeah, the Master knows nothing. Nothing I didn't want him to know. Who's the master now, bitch?

On second thought, I'm never thinking that again.

"You really think I would tell you?" I say. "I'm not as big of an idiot as you think."

Jonah laughs. Julie, Lexi, and Brendan just look uncomfortable now. Ricky still looks sorry. "Telling the whole world that you're looking for a gun that will kill a Time Lord?" Jonah snarls. "Coming to the one place the Master knew you would come? Yeah, you're an idiot."

Michael pulls me back. "Now, Lily." He drags me away with him, to the door.

"I'm sorry!" Ricky yells. "He said they would kill us!"

I smile sadly. "I'd never sell you out," I reply.

Michael pulls me outside. A flock of Toclofane whirr in the air in a semi-circle around us. They are coming at us with blades at ready when my body feels like it's on fire.

We land in the dark, in the cave. I collapse into Michael's arms, sobbing.

"I'm so sorry," I blubber. "I didn't know. And I should have told you my real name, but I didn't think I could trust you at first, and then when I did, I didn't want you to know that I lied to you, because I love you and I don't want you to not love me back and I hope you don't hate me, because I am really, really, really, really, really sorry."

We stand there in the dark, him holding me silently as I sob into his chest and continue blabbing about how sorry I am. What feels like hours later, I finally stop sobbing. Michael lets me go and turns on one of the lanterns. Sniffling, I watch him light the rest of the lanterns around the cavern. He pulls an unmarked can out of a box, pulls out his multi-knife, and stabs the can open. He takes out a plastic fork out of another box and starts eating.

"I think it's time to end this," he says after swallowing. "It's time for the world to go back to how it's supposed to be."

I sit, pretty much collapsing to the floor. He's right. It's time.

He sighs, places the can and fork onto the floor, and then runs a hand through his hair. "You should eat something." He's staring at his hands while in a crouching position.

I laugh. Well, I force out a breath that could be a laugh. More of a snort, actually. "I'm really not hungry."

"You need your strength."

"Oh, what do you care?" I snap. "You're not going to remember me, anyway."

"You think I don't care?" he stands. "Why do you think I've been following you all these years? This whole year could have been three times shorter for me!"

I jump up. "You didn't have to stay with me!"

"Didn't have a choice, did I?" he shouts, arms wide. "I fell in love with you the moment I saw you cooking eggs in my flat! When you told me about this daft scheme, I had to make sure you were safe!"

I gasp. I can't help it. "You… loved me?" Hope wells into my heart. I think I'm going to explode.

He wipes his hands over his face, through his hair, and fixes me with a stare so intense, I want to cry all over again. "I love you, you mad bird."

I smile and start laughing and crying all at the same time. "I love you too, you weird Brit."

We both rush forward at the same time, meeting in the middle of the cave with the biggest, most passionate kiss I have ever, ever had. He crushes me against him and it's just perfect. I don't think I've ever been this happy.

Perfect.


	13. 5:  The Last Of The Time Lords Part One

**This has lasted longer than I had originally planned, but I do like how it's turned out. There is maybe one or two more parts to this, then on to a new adventure.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.5.<strong>

**The Last of the Time Lords**

**Part One**

I really am a terrible person.

I wait in the shadows, breathing in the moist, earthy air. Alone. The wind whips my hair into my face, stinging the corners of my eyes. I tuck the loose strands behind my ears, staring at the dark streets, the misting rain. Footsteps in front of me, boots crunching over litter, barely audible over the wind. I pick up my tan messenger bag and sling it across my shoulder. I stare at my shadow, flickering in the cast of a lantern. I wipe a stray tear from my cheek and turn around.

"What's your name, then?" I ask.

But wait. There are two figures. One is holding a lantern and the other is a ways back, shrouded in shadow. The one with the lantern has a scruffy beard and kind eyes and is wearing a heavy olive jacket with lots of pockets. Him I recognize. Who is the other person?

"Tom. Tom Milligan," the one holding the lantern replies. "No need to ask who you are. Lizzie Smith, the Storyteller, come back to where it all began. How long has it been since you've been in Britain?"

"Three years," I reply, looking beyond Tom's shoulder, and yet at nothing at all.

"So it's true then," he asks. "You can travel through time?"

A corner of my mouth lifts up. "Yeah."

"Then why didn't you go back and stop all this?"

I look him right in the eye. "I need shelter. Can you provide that or not?"

Tom's smart. He can see that I'm not going to answer his question. "I can get you inside, warm, dry. Why are you back?"

I start walking out of the alley and he falls in step next to me. "The more you know, the more I put you and myself at risk." My boots crunch against a discarded styrofoam cup.

"There's a lot of people depending on you," he nods at the other figure, who disappears into shadow. "You're a bit of a legend."

"Oh really?" I ask, craning my neck to try to see that other person, the one who starting walking as soon as we did, keeping the same distance between us. I don't trust this. "What does the legend say?" I keep my tone light, yet interested.

Tom's voice is much more, well, in awe. "That you sailed the Atlantic, walked across America. That you and the Protector were the only people to get out of Japan alive. 'Lizzie Smith,' they say, 'She's gonna save the world.'"

"Nah," I reply. "Bit late for that. Michael would have been the one doing the saving, anyway."

"Where is he?"

I hesitate. "So what do you do? Since you're allowed out at night and everything."

Though he's obviously annoyed at my evasiveness, he answers my question again. "Medical staff. Used to be in pediatrics back in the old days. But that gives me a license to travel so I can help out at the labor camps."

I grin, unable to resist the pun. "Awesome. I've always wanted to travel with a Doctor."

Obviously he doesn't get it. Which is fine. Good, really. There's a reason we…I…had to wait to come back to England.

The figure is nowhere to be found.

"Story goes," Tom says, taking a left down a side street. "That you're the only person on Earth who can kill him. That you, and you alone, can kill the Master stone dead."

That's not exactly the story I spread, but, hey, it was a giant game of telephone. And it's close enough to serve my purposes.

"Let's just get to safety."

"Right then," Tom says. We're silent for a moment. Tom, clearly the friendly sort and not used to awkward silences, asks, "So where are you coming from?"

My mind flashes to the cave, to the sighing. I blink and shake my head. "A repair shed in Nuclear Plant 7."

He glances at me. "That doesn't seem safe for you."

I shrug. "I had to see Professor Docherty about a weapon."

Tom takes a right down a main street. The Sentries are posted and I can feel their eyes on me. Good. "So you are trying to kill the Master." His voice is low, mostly hidden by the sound of the rain.

"You haven't seen this world, Tom. I have. All over the Earth, statues of him. He's even carved himself into Mount Rushmore. All four Presidents have been replaced." I picture the giant likenesses and shiver. "You should see Russia. That's Shipyard Number One. All the way from the Black Sea to the Bering Strait. There's 100,000 rockets ready for war."

"War with whom?"

"The rest of the universe. I've been out there, Tom. In space." Well, the moon, but I'm playing a part here. Martha's part. "Before all this happened. And there's a thousand different civilizations all around us with no idea of what's happening here. The Master can build weapons big enough to devastate them all."

"Wow."

"Yeah," I agree. "The labor camps? The shipyards? We're building weapons to destroy ourselves, destroy everything." I pat my messenger bag. "That's why I've been traveling. Not just to tell stories. To bring hope. Hope to end all this. Come here," I grab his arm and drag him into a dark alley. I check for cameras, noticing one across the street. Perfect. I pretend it isn't there. "Just before I escaped, the Doctor told me what to do. Him and the Master? They've been coming here for years, centuries even. And they thought we wouldn't notice. UNIT. Torchwood. All watching, all researching. And finally, they made this." I pull a silver gun with four cartridge chambers, three of which are already loaded with different colored chemicals, out of the messenger bag.

"That's it? Why not just shoot him?"

I shake my head. "The Master is a Time Lord. He doesn't die, he just regenerates. No, this'll stop that. I just need the last chemical." I slip the gun back into my bag. Welp. My job here is done. I have been sighted and recorded.

"Could you really do it?" Tom's disbelief is written on his face. "I was told the Storyteller brought only hope."

I keep my face carefully blank. "This is hope."

Tom's silent for a moment. "Where is the last chemical?"

"There's an old UNIT base, north London. I've found the access codes. Tom, you've got to get me there."

"Not tonight. The streets of London are filled with wild dogs. We'd get eaten before we even got in. No, come with me. We're expected."

Tom takes my hand and leads me out of the alley. If only I could be happier about this. The plan is working exactly as it should. But I can't be happy. It's going to be a long time before I can be happy again.

My mind drifts back to that night, one month ago in this timeline, only a night ago to me, to the best night I've had since I came here to this reality that I don't belong in. To this sighs and the kisses and the flickering lanterns.

No. Stop it. This is how it has to be. He can't get in the way. I couldn't face the possibility of his death, the possibility of everything going very wrong. I'd rather he forget me.

And he will.

I follow Tom down a dark street, trying to be quiet. There are two Sentries ahead. Tom leads me to a wooden door set into a mustard colored wall. He knocks and a worn, dirty woman opens the door. We rush inside. The door closes without a sound.

"Did you bring food?" the woman asks.

"Couldn't get any," Tom replies. "And I'm starving."

I look around, taking in all the people here. All the tired, hungry, dirty people. The children. It's freezing in here, somehow colder than outside. The front room is cramped, people sitting and standing everywhere. It's worse here than I imagined. I picture that house the holds the people who were my friends in a different reality and it's a stark and disheartening contrast.

"All we've got is water," the woman complains. Not whining, just stating a fact.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. Not to her, not really. Not to anyone in particular. To the whole world, really.

Someone ducks behind a wall up the stairs. The quick movement catches my eye, but I didn't see what the person looked like. Am I being followed?

"It's cheaper than building barracks," Tom explains in a low voice. "Pack them in, 100 in each house, ferry them off to the shipyards every morning."

I nod, absently. I mean, I'm supposed to be followed. I'm supposed to be captured. So why is it worrying me so much?

A teenage boy with messy blonde hair sitting on the steps addresses me. "Are you Lizzie Smith?"

I smile at him. "Yes I am."

"The Storyteller…"

The words whisper through the room, building in intensity. The atmosphere has taken on a slightly lighter air. Very slightly.

"Can you do it?" the boy asks. "Can you kill him? They said you can kill the Master, can you? Tell us you can do it. Please tell us you can do it."

Everyone starts talking at once.

After a moment, Tom sighs. "Come on, just leave her alone. She's exhausted."

"No, it's all right," I say, holding my hand up. Everyone shushes. Ok, where was this ability back in my world? "They want me to talk and I will."

They clear a space for me on the stairs. I settle in and start talking. I tell them about my travels. About the people I've met. About the state of the rest of the world. It's an easy story, a familiar story. Well, it's not easy exactly, in that the subject is hard. But I tell it well and I tell it often.

"But if Lizzie Smith the Storyteller became a legend, then that's wrong because my name isn't important," I insist. "There's someone else. The man who sent me out there. The man who told me to walk the Earth. His name is the Doctor. He has saved your lives so many times, and you never even knew he was there. He never stops. He never stays. He never asks to be thanked. But I've seen him. I know him. And I know what he can do. And I know what he has done."

I stop, realizing for a second that these words are familiar, so very familiar. An image of Martha telling that exact story runs through my mind. I think I even have the words the same… How can I possibly, after all these years, remember all this so well?

Now, what happens next?

"It's him!"

My head jerks up. The crowd parts (as much as it can in a small hallway) and the woman who had opened the door for us is standing there, panting.

"It's him! Oh my God, it's him! It's the Master! He's here!"

I stand. Here it is. We're coming to the end of this wretched journey. I should be happy. I should be relieved.

No, the worst is yet to come. Leaving Michael is nowhere near as worrisome as this part.

"But he never comes to Earth!" the teenager says. "He never walks upon the ground!"

Someone grabs me from behind and throws a blanket over me. I'm cuddled against a warm, hard chest. Actually, make that a very familiar chest. I move my head up. Just enough light peaks through for me to make out the face.

Michael.

"How…?" I say. Oh, look, here come more tears.

"Shhh," he puts a finger over my lips. He leans close and whispers in my ear, softer than a pin drop. "You talk in your sleep."

"He walks among us," the teen cries. "Our lord and master."

I try to jerk away from Michael, but he holds me tight. "You can't be here!"

"Liiiily."

The Master.

I gulp.

"I'm sorry, I've got it wrong, don't I?" The Master's voice goes all high pitch. "Lizzie Smith! Storyteller! I can see you!" He voice goes back to normal. "Out you come, little girl. Come and meet your Master."

Everyone is silent.

"How about Michael O'Lachlan, your protector. Is he there, Lily, my love?"

Michael and I stare each other down. His lips lower to mine.

"Anybody? Nobody? No? Nothing? Positions! I'll give the order unless you surrender. Ask yourself, Storyteller—what would the Doctor do?"

I pull away from the kiss. "I have to go," I say. "It's time."

Michael shakes his head. "Wait…"

"No," I whisper, pulling away. "I left you for a reason. You have to stay here. I refuse to watch you die." I pull off the Tardis key and fling it and the blanket away. I know everyone is watching, but I ignore them for now. I stumble down the stairs, almost falling, but righting myself at the last second. "This is already messed up as it is. This needs to go as smoothly and as close to how it's supposed to as possible."

"I'm not letting you go." Michael jumps down the stairs and grabs my wrist.

"Michael," I place my hand on his stubbly cheek. I gaze into his eyes, drinking him in. "This is how it's supposed to be. This is how it has to end." I laugh, a harsh sigh. "Besides, you won't remember anything."

"How can you say that?"

I growl, frustrated and heart broken. "Look, I'll come find you," I promise, taking his face in both my hands. "I'll find you when this is over. And we can be together then. But not now. I need to do this by myself."

I don't give him a chance to answer. I press a hard kiss to his lips and run away, out the door, right into the path of the Master. I stumble to a stop, almost skidding on a wet leaf.

"There she is!" the Master exclaims in glee, clapping. "That's a good girl. He taught you well." He stops clapping, getting very serious now. "Bag. Throw the bag down. Right now."

I slip the messenger bag off my shoulder. It falls in a heap on the ground. The Master pulls out his laser screwdriver and in seconds, the bag is destroyed. He points the screwdriver at me.

"No!"

Ok, that's a voice I didn't expect.

Tom Milligan runs out of the door. I watch at the Master rolls his eyes and points the laser at Tom. He fires. I close my eyes at the sound of a body dropping. This will be reversed. This will go back to how it's supposed to. No one will have to die.

I open my eyes.

"But you, little Storyteller," the Master says, pocketing the laser screwdriver. "You, my dear, will die in front of the Doctor. After _that one_ dies in front of you." He points behind me.

I turn.

My heart freezes.

Two of the Sentries are holding Michael.


	14. 5:  The Last Of The Time Lords Part Two

**I'm apparently really bad a cliffhangers, because I had to give you guys the next part. Although, well, this one is pretty much a cliffhanger too.**

**PS: This weekend is my birthday, so I don't know how much time I will have to write, because I have lots to do. But I have next week off of work, so I'm sure I can pump out lots next week. =)  
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**The Last of the Time Lords**

**Part Two**

"Citizens of Earth! Rejoice and observe!"

Two men are holding me, one on each arm. They lead me into the conference room on the Valiant. Ah, back where this all started. Fitting. Now that's what I call full circle.

Do I sound confident? I hope I sound confident. I'm trying to be confident.

But I think it's failing.

They have Michael. The idiot. I left him in the cave to protect him! And he had to go and follow me here. I don't even know how! I have a vortex manipulator, so it's easy for me to travel, obviously. Did he swim or something? I thought the cave was in South Africa or South America or someplace very far from Britain. He only had a month to get here. So how the hell did he get here?

Two guards pull Michael into the room behind me. He's being smart, for once, and keeping silent. Well, Michael's not exactly the most talkative person ever, but still.

The room looks the same. Except for the Doctor. The Doctor is shrunken, the size of a spider monkey. He looks like a gnome, with giant eyes and a little suit. The little suit was funny in the show. This whole scene was cheesy and over the top in the show.

In real life? Yeah, it's freaking scary.

The guards stop walking in the front of the room, but don't let go of my arms. The Master has his back to the room, Lucy in a red dress stands to his left on the loft. Jack, who warrants only one guard, is to my right. Michael, forced to his knees, is kept to my left. The Doctor is on the right, near the stairs. We lock eyes and I try to manage a smile. I think it comes out like a grimace.

"Your teleport device," the Master demands, voice low, calm, and serious. "In case you thought I'd forgotten."

The guards let me go and walk away. I undo the vortex manipulator and toss it up the stairs to the Master. He catches it easily.

"And now," the Master says, bubbling with barely concealed glee. "Kneel."

I clench my jaw. I get down on both knees, then bow my head for good measure.

"Down below, the fleet is ready to launch," the Master zooms about the lofted area, pushing buttons. "Two hundred thousand ships set to burn across the universe_. _Are we ready?"

"The fleet awaits your signal," a voice over the com says. "Rejoice!"

My heart is pounding, my palms are clammy, and I really have no clue what I am doing. Kneel and shut up, that's my new motto.

"Three minutes to align the black hole converters. Counting down!" A clock starts to tick. Anyone else thinking about Hook and the crocodile right now? "I never could resist a ticking clock." The Master turns and winks at his audience, the goes back to the window. "My children, are you ready?"

"We will fly and blaze and slice! We will fly and blaze and slice!"

Toclafane. Billions and billions of people from the future, warped to kill their own kind.

"At zero, to mark this day, the child, Lillian Meyers, also known as Lizzie Smith the Storyteller, will die," the Master grins down at me. "Ha, my first blood. Ha, any last words?" He watched me expectantly. I say nothing. "No?" He sighs and starts walking down the stairs, regarding the Doctor in his cage. "Such a disappointment, this one. Days of old, Doctor, you had companions who could absorb the time vortex. This one's useless! Bring the boy!" The two guards holding Michael push him forward. Michael lands on his knees next to me. "Let's see if this will open your gob, Lily."

I've never actually seen _The Matrix_, but everyone knows about the special effects. You know, the slowing down of time to show you how cool something is? I didn't know it could happen in real life. But apparently it does.

The clock ticks. Michael looks at me.

I reach out to him.

The Master aims.

The Master fires.

The laser shoots.

Michael keeps looking at me.

Even when the bream of orange light hits his chest.

Even when he falls.

The clock ticks.

"What do you have to say now, Lillian Meyers?" The Master implores.

I blink. I close my eyes. I turn to the Master and open my eyes again. I can almost feel the burning flames shooting out of my eyes. But I say nothing. Michael's death is imprinted in my brain. But very, very soon, just a couple of minutes, it will have never happened.

"Nothing? No?" The Master sighs. "Bow your head," he commands, sounding like an annoyed parent who had to tell his kid to do something about ten times too many. I bow, my body pulsing with anger, energy, and revenge. "And so it falls to me, the Master of all, to establish from this day, a new order of Time Lords! From this day forward…"

Blah blah blah. Important stuff happening.

I start to laugh.

"What? What's so funny?"

I raise my chin, a sardonic, hateful smile stretching my face. "A gun?"

"What about it?"

"A gun in four parts? Really?" I shake my head.

"Yes, and I destroyed it."

I roll my eyes. "A gun in four parts scattered across the world? I mean, come on. Did you _really_ believe that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you, like, actually read my mind?" I ask him, chuckling. "Did you read anything about what happens? I mean, for real, Master. Are you really as stupid as you look?"

The Master clears his throat. "I peaked, yes, but there was only so much I could gain from you. I knew enough to kill Martha Jones."

"But why?" I lean forward. "Why was it so important to kill Martha Jones?"

Don't look at Michael. You can break down later. This is the world at stake.

"Because she was… going to look for the gun?"

He doesn't know. Holy shit. He doesn't know.

I laugh. I laugh so hard tears start streaming down my face. Soon the laughter turns to sobbing. I slam my palms against the floor. "Then you killed her for nothing, you fool! Letting me live was the worst mistake you could have possibly made. Would you like to know why?" The sobs turn to shouts. Angry? Oh, yes. "Because I know more about the Doctor than Martha Jones could possibly imagine. I know his past. I know his future. And I told it to the whole world." I smile, a cold, hard smile. "I told a story, that's all. No weapons, just words. I did just what the Doctor would have told Martha to do. I went across the continents. And everywhere I went, I found the people, and I told them the story. The story of the Doctor. And I sent messengers to spread it."

"Faith and hope?" The Master is not impressed. "Is that all?"

"Oh, no," I say, rising to my feet. "No, 'cause I gave them an instruction. Just as Martha would have done." I look over at the Doctor. "I told them that if everyone thinks of one word, at one specific time…"

"Nothing will happen!" The Master shouts. "Is that your weapon? Prayer?"

"Right across the world," I shout back. "One word, just one thought, at one moment…" I pause. The Master is shaking his head adn walking away. "But with 15 satellites!"

"What?" His head whips toward me and he freezes.

Jack speaks up. "The Archangel Network."

"A telepathic field binding the whole human race together," I confirm. "With all of them, every single person on Earth, thinking the same thing at the same time. And that word…is Doctor."

The clock strikes zero. I fold my arms across my chest and wait. And watch.

It doesn't take long for the glowing golden rings to form around the Doctor. The Master is watching, horrified, shouting for everyone to stop. The change is already happening. This is almost over. I can't wait to sleep.

The Doctor is already becoming stronger. "I've had a whole year to tune myself into the psychic network and integrate with its matrices."

The Master panics. "I order you to stop!"

People are still chanting. I'm sure of it. Even Lucy the Flake says his name.

The Doctor grows, stretches, and that head of sticky-upy hair is back. Impressively, his suit is even the right size now. Ok, even in person, this is still a little cheesy. But I can't keep from smiling.

"The one thing you can't do," the Doctor says, floating still in a golden bubble of what looks like regeneration energy. "Stop them thinking."

Jack starts to laugh. He rushes to my side and pulls me into a tight hug. His cheek to mine, we watch this happen.

"Tell me the human race is degenerate now when they can do this."

The Master points his laser screwdriver at the Doctor. "No!" The Master shoots. But the Doctor waves the beam away.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor says, grimly. "I'm so sorry."

"Then I'll kill them!"

The Master turns to Jack and me. Jack lets me go to stand in front of me. I don't even flinch. The Doctor waves the screwdriver away. Apparently with his mind.

Yup, definitely corny. Effective, but corny.

"You can't do this! You can't do—It's not fair!" The Master sounds like a child.

I can't watch anymore. I really can't. So I look at the one place I know I shouldn't look.

I run to Michael's side. I take his hand in mine. Sobbing, I throw my head onto his chest. Wait. Hold the presses. Oh my god. Oh my freaking god. He's still breathing. How the hell is he still breathing?

He squeezes my hand. Barely, but it's there. "Lily," he whispers.

"Shh," I push his hair off his forehead. Not that there is much hair there. "Save your strength."

"Lily," he repeats. "I can't last much longer."

I close my eyes and when I open them, a tear falls. "It's ok," I whisper. "You don't have to hold on anymore, Michael. It's over. Soon everything will be back to how it was. None of this will have happened."

"How?"

"The paradox machine gets destroyed and time straightens itself out," I explain. Then I shake my head. "You'll wake up perfectly fine."

"Will I remember you?"

I bite my lip. "I don't know," I answer. "I won't lie to you anymore. I really don't know."

"I'd rather die than forget you."

I laugh and sob at the same time. "Well, you are dying, sillyhead," I tease. "So get on with it."

"Lily!" Jack interrupts our moment. His tone is urgent. "We need to get to the paradox machine."

I glare at him. "My job here is done. Go do yours." We lock eyes for a moment and he softens a bit, nodding. Then he's running out of the room and I turn back to more important things. Like Michael.

He expels a breath.

I wait for him to take another. But he doesn't.

No. No, no, no, no! He wasn't supposed to die! Not yet! Not until I told him how I feel! Not until I came up with the right thing to say.

I shake his shoulder. I shake his chest.

"No! Wake up! Please!"

Soon I can't see for all the tears. I throw my head into my hands and just sob. I shake back and forth, screaming until my throat is raw. Why did this have to happen? Why? This isn't fair! Not fair at all and I don't like it and I just want to go home! My real home! With real people and real friends. Where this is just a TV show and this kind of pain does not exist.

And then, all of a sudden, I'm thrown to the floor. I look up and see myself throwing a fit, see myself crying, see Michael sit up a bit. Jack walking backwards. The Doctor ascending in that golden light. The Master shooting Michael.

Time is reversing.

We won.


	15. 5: The Last Of The Time Lords Part Three

**This is the last of the section. Finally. It did not want to end, so you get an extra-long chapter from me. Yay! After this, more adventuring. I have something original planned! Double yay!  
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**The Last of the Time Lords**

**Part Three**

"The paradox is broken."

We're on the Tardis. That sentence, the first sentence the Doctor uttered, is echoing through my mind. I'm sitting against on of the coral-like pillars, my knees pulled up to my chest. Or as close to my chest as they can get. Those three years in my time have never happened, so my body is back to how it was before and my hair is shorter. I poke a small flab on my stomach. Now, I'm not exactly huge, but I'm not as skinny as I was, oh, an hour ago. Three years of running and hiding and less than reliable food sources gave me a body any movie star would have been proud of; but now… well, I'm back to being average.

I know, I know, I shouldn't be obsessing about body image at a time like this. But it's that or having a massive emotional breakdown. As it is, I can't stop the tears that keep running down my face.

The Doctor isn't fairing much better. The Master's body lies opposite the room from me. Even though I think it's a great thing that Loony Lucy shot him, the Doctor has a drastically different opinion. I never, ever want to hear that sound he screamed after the Master died. Even Jack is keeping away from the brooding Time Lord—heck, he hasn't even flirted with me or Martha since we entered the Tardis. He's just leaning with his arms crossed against a pillar diagonal from me.

Martha.

Oh, Martha.

I peak over at her. She's sitting in the jump seat, gazing at the console with a faraway look. Her hands are folded in her lap and her ankles are crossed; her back is stiff.

I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. I crawl to my feet, then take a seat next to Martha. I don't really know what to say. What do you say to someone who was supposed to save the world but died instead?

"I'm sorry." I run my hands over my face and sigh.

"What happened?" Martha keeps watching the console, her eyes following the Doctor as he steers the ship without the usual manic jump in his step. "Why do you three remember what happened but I don't?"

I bite my lower lip. "The world sort of changed," I explain, picking at the cuticle on my left thumb. "Honestly, you're better not knowing. Be relieved that you don't have this… burden."

"Something about this isn't right," she says. "It doesn't feel like it should have happened this way."

My stomach jumps. "How can you know that?" The words spill out and I have no control over what I am saying. The filter is gone. "How can you know you weren't supposed to die?"

Martha pins me with a shocked look. Jack stands up straight, hands to his sides. The Doctor freezes at the console, his back to me.

"What do you mean?"

I close my eyes. Jack had already explained to her what had happened, though not in extreme detail. Mostly the high points (or low points, considering your perspective). Just the whole thing about the Master taking over the world and time reversing itself, which cancelled out everything that happened during that year. He didn't, however, tell her that she had been killed.

"You died, Martha," The Doctor's voice is straining with anger and sadness. "The Master killed you."

Martha, eyes wide, looks at the three of us. "But that can't be. I'm still here!"

"Time reversed itself," the Doctor turns around, leaning against the console. "You died during the paradox. In effect, it never happened."

The Tardis is quiet, save for the usual wheezing sound it makes while traveling. I pull at a cuticle, hard, breaking skin and causing a little bead of blood to well.

"Why me?"

My face grows hot at Martha's question. Trembling, I slide off the seat. "It's my fault," I whisper.

"No, it's not," the Doctor says, voice calm, unemotional. Jack echoes the sentiment with more shock.

"Yes, it is," I say, turning around. "If it weren't for me, the Master wouldn't have known about Martha's destiny and she wouldn't have been killed."

"Lily, stop that," Jack says, behind me now. He spins me to face him. "Did you willingly tell him?"

"No."

Jack cups my face. "Did you go to him willingly?"

"Hell no. I landed in his conference room because of this stupid thing." I hold up my left wrist. The malfunctioning vortex manipulator is back. Probably because I had never flushed it down a toilet in this reality. At least it's still broken. The only good thing the Master did.

"Then you have nothing to worry about." Jack gazes into my eyes and I find myself melting despite myself. It takes all my energy to stop a silly grin from popping out. How can one man be so damn charming?

"Jack, stop it," the Doctor orders. Jack grins, winks at me, and lets me go. I actually smile at that. Until I look at the Doctor. Then I sober. I can see the oncoming storm behind his eyes. "Lily," the Doctor strolls towards me. I back up until I'm against one of the columns. This is the man who destroyed his own people for the sake of the universe. I have to remember that. "There is one thing I have to ask." He stops just in front of me. "What did the Master mean when he said that you know all about this world?"

I gaze at my feet, trying to come up with an answer. The Doctor grabs my chin and forces my face back up. "Do not toy with me, Lillian Meyers. I went from being the last of my kind, to the second to last, back to the last. My patience wears thin today."

Gulp. My mind flashes to the moment the scene where the Doctor kills the Sycorax and says, "No second chances. I'm that kind of man." I'm not stupid.

"I'll tell you, Doctor. But only you," I glance over at Martha and Jack. "I'm sorry, but this is very delicate and I can't risk…" My life? This timeline? Your lives? "I just can't take the risk. But you, Doctor," I turn back to him. "Maybe you can help me. Maybe you can help me get back home."

But what about 11? And the fact that 10 knew me when I met him on the moon?

The Doctor stares at me for a moment more, then nods. "All right," he says. "You've more than proven yourself." He does something I do not expect, not at that moment. He takes hold of my arms. Pulls me to him. And wraps his arms around me. I close my eyes and return the hug, burying my face into his shoulder. "Lillian Meyers. The girl who saved the world with a story." He draws back and smiles at me. The storm clouds are gone and sunshine reigns. "I look forward to your tale, Storyteller. Though I do have one other question, come to think of it. Why did you travel under the name Lizzie Smith?"

I shrug. "I thought it might throw the Master off my trail for a bit."

"But Lillian Meyers is a brilliant name! Like something from a children's story!"

I snort. "Oh, I'm in a story, all right," I mutter. If the Doctor heard any of that, he didn't give any indication. "It made sense at the time. I gave it to Michael when we first met, because I wasn't sure if he was in league with the Master."

Michael.

I close my eyes against the sudden pain. How can something hurt so much without causing any physical damage? I force my eyes open. And look directly into the concerned eyes of the Doctor. My, people change moods so quickly around here.

"Do you think he remembers?" It comes out as a whisper.

The Doctor hesitates. "I don't know."

Well, at least he's being truthful. I think.

"I'll bring you to him, just in case," he says. We share a moment, a moment of understanding. I remember Rose trapped in Pete's World. If anyone understands this pain, it's the Doctor.

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><p>Later, after the Doctor left us on the Tardis to tend to the Master's funeral pyre, the four of us are standing in Cardiff. It's funny, actually. I've wanted to come here for a while now, because this is where the show is filmed and I think there's some sort of museum dedicated to it. Now that I'm here, however, I have no interest in it. But, hey, now I can say I've been to Wales. I guess that's something.<p>

We're leaning against the rails overlooking the bay. Things are a bit tense. Martha hasn't even looked at me. No, that's not quite right. She has, but it's when she thinks I'm not paying attention. At those moments, she's glaring at me. She clearly does not like me. I should be upset, but I honestly can't blame her. I stole her fire. I don't know how she knows this, but I think she does somehow understand that if it were not for me, she would have been the one to save the world. Either way, her jealousy is apparent.

"Come with me."

Those three words. I think that's the closest the Doctor will ever get to saying he loves someone. Obviously, depending on the person, that love fluctuates in degree and type, but love nonetheless.

Jack just laughs. "I had plenty of time to think that past year, the Year That Never Was. And I kept thinking about that team of mine. Like you said, Doctor, responsibility."

"Defending the Earth. Can't argue with that." The Doctor goes to shake hands with Jack. Jack falls for it. Instead, the Doctor exposes Jack's vortex manipulator and starts to sonic it.

"Hey, I need that!" Jack complains, trying to pull away.

"I can't have you walking around with a time-traveling teleport," the Doctor explains. "You could go anywhere—twice. The second time to apologize." He lets Jack go. Jack covers up the manipulator.

"And what about me? Can you fix that? Will I ever be able to die?"

"Nothing I can do," the Doctor shakes his head. "You're an impossible thing, Jack."

Jack just laughs. "Been called that before." He salutes us. "Sir. Ma'am." To the Doctor and Martha, respectively. He turns to me next. "Lily, I believe you owe me something."

Huh?

Jack ignores what I'm sure is a very confused look. Instead, he wraps his arms around my waist, dips me down like the nurse in that famous picture of the sailor kissing the nurse, and, well, kisses me. Well, no. Captain Jack does not kiss. Captain Jack consumes. His lips crush against mine, coaxing my lips open with his tongue. I follow his lead.

"Jack!" the Doctor exclaims in warning.

I open my eyes as Jack pulls away long enough to give the Doctor a wink. "I told her when all that was over, she owed me more than a quick kiss."

Giggling like a schoolgirl, feeling better than I have in hours (has it been only hours?), I close my eyes as Jack presses another kiss to my lips. Oh, he is better than good. He is just freaking amazing. A kissing genius. I could get used to this. Very, very used to this. Lust wells up inside me and we continue kissing for a good, solid minute.

Then, too soon, it is over and I am upright. I blink into Jack's smiling face. His hands move to my shoulders. Grinning, he kisses me once more, softly, quickly.

The Doctor clears his throat. "You are quite done molesting her?" Someone does NOT sound happy.

"Molesting suggests unwanted attention," I say, grinning like an idiot and voice sounding like I'm dreaming. "And that was very, very much appreciated." I sigh dreamily.

Jack laughs then salutes again. "Anytime, my dear." He grasps my hand and gives it a kiss. He walks away and I'm really tempted to follow him. But I don't. Though, come to think of it, I think he's meeting what's-his-name soon. Captain John something? Whatever. Either way, he is meeting someone portrayed by James Marsters. You know, the guy who played Spike on _Buffy_? The greatest vampire ever? Oh, talk about real temptation.

Jack turns back after walking a few yards. "But I keep wondering…what about aging? 'Cause I can't die but I keep getting older. The odd little grey hair, you know? What happens if I live for a million years?"

"I really don't know," the Doctor says, no longer sounding angry.

Jack chuckles. "Okay, vanity. Sorry. Yeah, can't help it. Used to be a poster boy when I was a kid back on the Boeshane Peninsula. Tiny little place. I was the first one ever to be signed up for the Time Agency. They were so proud of me. They Face of Boe they called me." The Doctor and Martha's jaws drop. "Hmm, I'll see you."

And away goes the greatest kisser in the universe. My lips will mourn for his return.

"Can't be," Martha says. Whoops. Almost forgot she was there.

"No, definitely not," the Doctor's laughing. "No." Martha joins in on the laughter. "No."

I stare at both of them, then get it. Right! The Face of Boe. Of course! Duh, totally forgot about that.

A few minutes of chortling and camaraderie between Martha and the Doctor later, we're walking back to the Tardis. I'm staying behind a few steps so that Martha and the Doctor can get a few minutes vaguely by themselves.

Besides, I'm a terrible person. I'm in love with someone and yet I kissed someone else and enjoyed it very, very much. A little too much, actually. I really should not have let that happen.

I try to stick my hands in my pockets, but then I remember that I have the brown pants back and they don't have pockets. Good mood gone. Hello, melancholy. How have you been lately?

They enter the Tardis before me. I slip in behind them, falling into the jump seat. The Doctor starts running around the console, flipping switches, pushing levers, hitting things with a mallet.

"Now!" the Doctor exclaims, clapping his hands. "On to London. Well, actually onto Kingston."

"What's in Kingston?" Martha asks.

The Doctor beams at me while answering Martha's question. "A certain detective constable."

My stomach jumps. I almost fall out of the chair in shock. "How?"

"I'm the Doctor," the one and only states. "I've saved hundreds and hundreds of planets and races. I think I can find one measly human."

* * *

><p>I stick my head outside the Tardis's doorway. She's parked in a bland hallway with a worn reddish carpet. Weird. The hallway is a little familiar. Maybe it's the same one I saw all those years ago from the peephole? I'm not quite sure, but I step out of the Tardis anyway.<p>

The Doctor told me to try door number 408. I walk down the hallway a bit, my footsteps muted by the threadbare carpet. I find 408 easily and stop in front of it.

What if he isn't there? What if he is?

What if he doesn't remember me? What if he does?

I stare at the white door for a good five minutes or so. I start to knock at least a dozen times, but always stop at the last second. The suspense is killing me, but I just can't make myself knock. I don't know if I want to know the answer.

But then the question is answered for me.

The door opens, just as my hand is poised to knock for the fiftieth time. Must be a nice picture. Fist up, eyes wide with shock.

I should have changed my outfit before coming.

Michael O'Lachlan almost walks right into me, but he jumps back at the last minute. He's wearing his uniform, complete with the bulletproof vest. He stares at me. I make myself look into his eyes.

"Can I help you?" he asks.

No recognition.

The fantasy of him scooping me into his arms is quickly fading away.

I clasp my hands behind my back. "Um, hi," I say. "I was just… uhh…" I can't form words. He looks so healthy, so happy, so confused.

Michael, my Michael, smiles down at me. "Do you have the wrong flat?"

Cue the breaking of my heart.

"Yeah," I say. "Sorry." I step back, but don't actually turn to leave.

"No bother."

He exits the apartment, closing the door behind him. "Who are you looking for? Maybe I can help?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't think you can." I take a couple more steps back. "Have a good day."

"Cheers," he replies, walking down the hall, opposite direction of the Tardis.

I stay there until he disappears through the stairwell.

I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. It's probably better this way. I don't belong here. I need to get home. This just proves it. I don't need something or someone tying me here. Honestly.

I go back to the Tardis, ignoring the moisture streaming down my cheeks.

As soon as I walk in, Martha and the Doctor watch me with twin looks of expectation, which quickly transform into understanding. It would be comical if I had a sense of humor at the moment.

Taking a couple long, fast strides, the Doctor pulls me into his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispers in my ear. "I'm so sorry."

I gently push him away and nod. "It's fine. I figured this would be what happened." I wipe my face and tuck the despondence away to bask in at another moment. A moment where I am alone. "So, where to now?"

"I'd like to see my family, if that's ok," Martha says from the console.

The Doctor watches my face carefully. I give him a small smile. "Right," he says, jogging to the console.

* * *

><p>As Martha is visiting with her family, the Doctor and I stay on the Tardis. I just don't feel like facing people right now. The Doctor acts like he just wants some rest, but I'm willing to bet he might be a little worried. And that he wants his explanation.<p>

"Where I come from," I start, maybe half an hour after Martha left. "It's different there."

"You don't have to do this right now," he says.

We're next to each other on the jump seat. His long legs are resting on the console. Mine are folded underneath me. I'm smoothing nonexistent wrinkles from the brown pants. I really need new clothes.

"No, it's fine," I say, playing with a bit of the fabric. "You deserve to know." I pause and he stays silent, letting me continue when I want. I take a deep breath. "My world isn't very different. It's a parallel universe, obviously. So there are lots of similarities. But… there are no aliens. Well, none that we know of, anyway. And by we, I mean the general public." I'm starting to rant, so I stop. "Anyway, things are different. This world, your world, it's…" I hesitate, searching for the right words. "It's… well, there's no easy way to say it. This universe is a show. On TV." I laugh, though there is no humor behind it. "One of my favorite, actually. So that's how I knew what was going to happen and what I needed to do when Martha…" I clear my throat. "Anyway, that's the truth. Where I come from, you're just a character. Fiction. None of this is real." I gesture to the Tardis. "This is just a fantasy."

I stop talking, because I don't know what else to say. The Doctor is quiet for a while. I don't even look at him. I'm not sure I even want to know what he's thinking.

Forever passes before he finally speaks. "How far ahead do you know?"

I think of the Doctor Donna. The Master's return. The Girl Who Waited. The Boy Who Waited. Melody Pond. The death of 11.

"Pretty far," I answer. "Maybe not all of it, but a good chunk."

Silence again. Then…

"Lily," the Doctor grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. "You must never tell me what you know. Not ever. Not even if I beg you. Do you understand that?"

"Of course I do," I say, not daring to break eye contact with him. "That could rip a hole through space and time. Or change events so severely that they don't end right. I got lucky this time," I admit. "I said something wrong to the Master and he, well, read my mind. I won't be making that mistake again."

He stares at me for a good minute before releasing my chin. "Good," he nods. "Then it's settled." He folds his arms, turning back to the console.

"What's settled?"

"Give me your wrist," he orders. I give him my right hand, which he bats away. "No, the other one." I give him my left. He pulls out the sonic and opens the vortex manipulator. I try to tug away as he starts to sonic the device. Damn. He's strong for a skinny guy.

"Doctor, what are you doing?"

"Repairing," he says over the whirring of the sonic.

"Why?" I nearly shout. "I'm totally fine with the fact that it's broken."

He stops sonicing and rolls his eyes up to mine. "How many times have you met me?"

Oh god. I can see where he's going with this. "Which regeneration?" I stall.

"Lillian…" he draws out my name in warning.

"Fine, in this regeneration, I've met you twice. Well, technically four times, but two of those were during the same episodes, respectively. So yeah. Twice."

He goes back to sonicing. "My point exactly. I've met you many times more and, from the sound of it, many times after. And it's all because of this," he holds up my wrist in example. "We need to keep the timeline, else there will be dire consequences."

I roll my eyes. "But I thought a vortex manipulator is a terrible way to travel and even worse for your health."

"Yep," he pops the "p" in that way only he can. Then considers, "Well… yes, it's bad for your health, but I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm making so that it won't randomly take you away. It'll only work when you want it to."

"Gee thanks," I reply, feeling like a two year old. "Glad to know you care." He lets go of my wrist. I inspect the manipulator, but honestly, nothing physical has changed. Well, maybe it's cleaner.

"Lily," he says. "I do care. More than you realize."

I stare at him. He stares right back, but his face is a closed book to me. So I change the subject.

"You're taking the whole fictional character thing really well."

He shrugs. "Well, it's not the first I've heard of such a thing. There are billions upon billions of parallel universes. Sometimes there are cracks between them and you can travel back and forth. Sometimes the cracks are so minor, only those with psychic abilities can wean them out. That's where a lot of inspiration comes from, you know. Not from the mind, no. From the universe pouring into their heads. Writers, directors, the creative types, they're all more susceptible."

I blink. He so would have a perfect explanation for this.

"Man, you really are remarkable, Doctor," I shake my head. "You really don't care that a bunch of writers and directors and actors dictate your future."

"Ah," he remarks. "But you are forgetting. You are here now, Lily. So somewhere there may be a TV show where you are a character as well."

The thought makes my head spin. "Well, then I hope the actor portraying me has a blast and gets really famous."

The Tardis door opens and Martha comes strolling in. The Doctor jumps up and starts running around the console.

"Right then! Off we go! The open road! There is a burst of star fire right now over the coast of Meta Sigmafolio. Oh, the sky is like oil on water. Fancy a look? Or…back in time. We could…I don't know, Charles II? Henry VIII? I know! What about Agatha Christie? I'd love to meet Agatha Christie! I bet she's brilliant!" He finally turns to Martha and sees the look on her face. He loses the smile. "Okay."

"I just can't," Martha explains, not even looking at me. Her eyes are for the Doctor only.

"Yeah." The Doctor is clearly disappointed.

"Spent all these years training to be a doctor," Martha says. "Now I've got people to look after. They saw half the planet slaughtered and they're devastated. I can't leave them."

"Of course not."

"Besides, you have Lily now and I just… I just can't."

He doesn't acknowledge me either. "Yeah. I understand."

She starts to go, then turns back around. "'Cause the thing is, it's like my friend Vicky, she lived with this bloke, student housing, there were five of them, all packed in, and this bloke was called Sean. And she loved him, she did. She completely adored him. Spent all day long talking about him."

"Is this going anywhere?" The Doctor is clearly confused. Not a good look for him. Men. They are all the same. Wouldn't know a girl liked him if she danced topless around him. Especially if she danced topless.

"Yes!" Martha exclaims, tossing her hands in the air. "'Cause he never looked at her twice. I mean, he liked her, but that was it. And she wasted years pining after him, years of her life, 'cause while he was around, she never looked at anyone else. And I told her, I always said to her, time and time again, I said: Get out. So this is me, getting out." She reaches into her pocket and tosses her cell phone at him. "Keep that. 'Cause I'm not having you disappear. If that rings, when that rings, you better come running. Got it?"

"Got it."

"I'll see you again, mister."

And Martha is gone. Not even a good-bye for me. Not that I blame her. It really is my fault that she died.

I stay silent for a bit, letting the Doctor take this news in. He's taking it worse than me telling him he's fiction. He starts turning switches and flipping levers around the console.

"So," he says, faking good cheer. "Where would you like to go? I think I owe you an adventure, Storyteller."

"Don't call me that," I uncurl from my position. Ow. Leg is asleep. I hit the leg, creating ripples of pins and needles. "I don't really want to think about that time right now."

"But you were brilliant… oh, I understand," he nods. "Right then, how about a different planet? I think we'd both like a break from Earth for a bit."

The pins and needles in my leg are slowly taking over the rest of my body. Oh, god, no.

"Uh, Doctor?"

"Maybe Barcelona? I never did end up going there."

"Doctor," I say, louder, staring at my wrist. My whole body is heating up.

"Or perhaps…"

"Doctor!" I shout. He turns to me, face puzzled at my urgency. "I thought you said you fixed the vortex manipulator?"

"Yes, I did."

I pin him with a stare. "I thought you said it would stop randomly taking me away."

"It shouldn't." He doesn't sound as confident as I would like.

"Then why…" But I can't finish the sentence.

I'm covered in heat and electricity. I tumble to a glass floor. I look around, taking in the Tardis. The future Tardis. The 11th Doctor's Tardis.

The bow tied Doctor in question is bent down, staring at me. "Hello, Lily!"

I glare at him. Seriously. I put as much anger and annoyance and, well, hatred as I can into that one look. "You liar."

He scowls. "What did I do now?"


	16. 6:  Stuck In Time  Interlude

**A (semi) brief interlude before I get to the next part. Lily hashes a few things out with the Doctor.**

**I'd like to once again thank everyone who has been reviewing! I can't even tell you how much I appreciate it. Every time I upload a chapter, I wait on pins and needles to see what everyone has to say. And I love it when you tell me your theories. Sometimes you're even right! (Though I will not say how often.)  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.6.<strong>

**Stuck In Time**

**Interlude**

"You TOLD me that you fixed the vortex manipulator!"

The Doctor backs away from me, hands out. If I weren't so angry and humiliated, the scared look on his face would crack me up. The man has faced down Daleks, Cybermen, a giant devil-like thing, and countless other big bads. Now he's scared of me. A little human.

Then again… what's the saying? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?

"Lily," the Doctor says, trapped between the railing and me. "What's the password?"

I want to smack him. I really do. "You're really going to ask me something like that right now?"

"Yes, I am!" he exclaims, waving his arms around. "Because I have no idea what you are going on about!"

"Well, I don't know what the password is!" I shout, mimicking his arm movements. "I just saved the whole universe from the Master, lost a man a love, and you. Just. Lied. To. Me."

We stare each other down. I'm breathing heavily. You know that phrase "seeing red?" Yeah, I totally understand what that means now. I don't think I've been this angry in a very long time.

"Keith Moon," the Doctor says quietly.

"Huh?" Can a Time Lord die of suffocation? Because my hands are itching to wrap around his skinny neck.

"That's the password, I assume," he straightens and adjusts his bowtie. "Year that never was?"

"Yeah."

He gazes down at his boots, then back up at me. "I'm sorry." The gentleness in his eyes cools my anger. In fact, my anger cools so much, suddenly I am bent over sobbing. How do these people cope so well? Seriously, have any of his companions ever broken down as often as I have?

I collapse to the floor. This is all too much for me. Too much. Things like this shouldn't happen to girls like me. I'm way too emotional, too easy to tears. I shouldn't be here, in more ways than one.

I'm wrapped into two warm, strong arms, and borderline engulfed into his dark green coat, the one that reminds me of something between the American Civil War and World War I. I cry harder as the Doctor rocks me back and forth, smoothing my hair and whispering soft, kind words.

I try to let everything go. The Year That Never Was. Michael. Sweet, caring, brave Michael O'Lachlan, the detective constable that stole my heart. It's over. It's done. For all intensive purposes, Michael is dead. I'm never going to see him again.

"Lily, Lily, Lily," The Doctor sounds sad and caring, his voice not much above a whisper. "You brave girl."

I pull away from him, just far enough to see his face. "I feel far from brave right now."

"But you are. Don't you see?" he crushes me against him again. I feel his head touch the top of mine. "You spent three years traveling the world, trying to save it. It could have taken you a single year, but you did three times better to make sure everything would happen as it should. You fell in love and lost it. I promise you, Lillian Meyers, I promise you that you will be all right."

I push against his chest, slowly, so he doesn't take my breaking away to mean I'm upset with him. "You keep telling me that I will be fine or all right or some other positive thing. How well do you know me?"

The Doctor places his hands on my shoulders. "Very well. You're a constant inconsistency in my life these two hundred or so years."

Something clicks. Well, two things click, actually.

"Two hundred years?" My eyes go wide. "Two hundred years. Doctor, how old are you?"

"One thousand and ninety-five years old. I look good for my age, don't I?"

How old was he before he died? Come on, Meyers. You know this.

"Two hundred years…" I muse. I shake my head. His age doesn't matter. I mean, well, right now I'm in that in between time from when he left Amy and Rory and from when he meets Craig again. I think. "Doctor," I say, wiping my nose on my arm. He produces a handkerchief from a pocket and hands it to me. "Thanks." I dry my tears and blow my nose. I'm still shaking a little as I fold the handkerchief back up. I notice a little pink monogram on the corner of the white lace trimmed fabric. The stitches are uneven, as if a child made them. "LM? Those are my initials."

"Spoilers," the Doctor says, dismissing the issue. "Did you have another question?"

I finger the monogram. Maybe I should let that one stand. "Yeah," I say, wiping my eyes again. "Do you think I'll ever go home?"

He's quiet for a moment, which seems to be answer enough for me. "I'm going to take that as a no," I say, standing.

"I can't tell you, you know that." The Doctor stands as well, going to the console, flicking switches.

"Whatever. It's fine. Really." I follow him to the console, shoving the handkerchief into my bra (no pockets, remember?). I run my fingers over console. A pleasant tingling sensation tickles my fingertips. Like a happy, consoling buzzing. It makes me smile. "So, where are we going?"

The Doctor's running around the console, spinning as he pushes buttons. "Anywhere you would like!"

I grin, the sadness before just a small shadow in my brain. "This is my first adventure with just us. It is just us, right?" I look around the room, as if someone is going to pop out of a corner.

"Just you and I. Lily and the Doctor," he pulls a lever and a bell chimes. "I like the sound of that," he grins at me.

My grin spreads into a full smile. My cheeks almost hurt from the effort, but I think my face is frozen like this. "I can't believe I'm going to travel with the Doctor." The fangirl in me is totally freaking out right now.

"Believe it, Blossom," he says, leaning with his hands against the console. I follow his lead, bracing myself as the ride starts to get bumpy. "And I have just the place!" He pulls another lever.

And we are both thrown back. My head crashes into the railing. Ow. That hurt.

The Tardis makes a melancholy bellow and then the lights go out. Less bright greenish lights, probably emergency lights, come on. A moment later, all the lights come back up and the Tardis hums back to life. Though she sounds a lot sadder now. Wait, weird! The Tardis's sounds do have emotion.

"No!" the Doctor scrambles back to the console and starts fiddling with a screen. "No, no, no! What's wrong?"

I crawl to my feet and rub the back of my head. "This doesn't look good."

"That is an understatement," the Doctor is running around. I brace against the rail, trying to keep out of his way. "A huge, massive, big, big understatement." He stops running, leaning his hands against the console. His head is down.

I walk over to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. "What is it?"

He wipes his face with one hand then blinks at me. "We're trapped."

"Come again?"

"Trapped. As in, cannot leave." The Doctor jerks away from the console, flopping into the jump seat. He puts a hand over his eyes.

"I know what trapped means," I turn to him, gripping the edge of the console behind my back. "How can we be trapped?"

"We're in a time lock."

My heart is racing now. "A time lock? How did we get stuck in a time lock?"

"The universe is full of them," the Doctor sighs. "They are scattered everywhere. Pockets of time that have gone wrong. We must have crashed into one in the vortex."

I bite my lower lip, digesting this. "Ok, so how do we get out of a time lock?"

He shakes his head. "We don't. It's impossible."

"No it's not!" I insist, shaking my head. "The Master, he brought the Time Lords out of the time lock. So there is a way."

"Lillian, that time lock was created," in his frustration, he drags out the last word, hitting every syllable. "This one formed naturally. They are very different."

I drop to my bottom. "But… I've met a future you. And you've met future versions of me. So we have to get out of this."

"No," he says, not looking at me. "Time is in a constant state of flux. The past can be re-written."

I sink my face into my hands, then take in a deep breath and stand back up. "Okay," I say. "Okay, look. There has to be some way to get out of here." I finger the vortex manipulator. "What about this? Would this get us out?" I flip open the leather covering.

"No!" the Doctor shouts, jumping out of the chair and pulling the covering down. "No. Lily, if you do that, we could be blown to bits."

"How?"

"Because," he replies, talking too fast for me to really follow. "When two positive forces meet, they repel each other. If time is a positive force, we are trapped inside a massive positive force. Adding even just a little more positive force could cause a devastating reaction."

I don't follow that logic, but I also failed physics, so what do I know? "Fine," I say. "So we don't use the manipulator. So we're trapped in a time lock, with no possible means of escape."

"Yes." The Doctor looks me right in the eye.

I think about this for a moment, shoving aside the obvious panic. I can't believe he's just giving up like that. That's not like him at all. He always finds a way out. He's the Doctor. He knows everything.

Maybe there's something he's missing?

"But all of this is impossible!" I say, my hands making vague gestures. "Time travel. Aliens. Me. All of this. So if this is all impossible and this situation is impossible, it can't be that impossible, can it?"

A side of the Doctor's mouth quirks up. "No, I suppose not."

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast," I quote. "Or, in your case," I amend. "Eleven impossible things."

He smiles at me for a moment, that big, goofy smile he gets. He laughs his signature "Ha-haaa" laugh, then starts running around the console again.

"There is something I can try," he admits. "But it's very dangerous."

I take a step towards him. "What have we got to lose?"

"Oh, Lillian Meyers," he pokes my nose with a finger. "And you said you weren't brave." He spins in a circle as he jogs away, fiddling with the controls. "You may want to grab onto something," he warns. "This is going to be quite bumpy."

I shrug and grab the edge of the console again. "It always is."

He straightens his bowtie, giving me a child-like grin. Then he lifts a lever and clutches the edge of the console.

Bumpy? Let me say, bumpy is not exactly the word I would have used. It feels like I'm riding a bucking bronco on a roller coaster. I scream, squeezing my eyes shut. I lose my grip on the console as the Tardis tips up. I slide down the floor, managing to grab a rail before tumbling down the lofted area to the floor. I hug my body as close to that rail as possible. Over the sound of my own screaming and my ears blowing up, I hear a faint, yet strong "Geronimo!" from the other side of the Tardis, followed by maniacal laughter.

We land with a crash. Gasping, I lose my grip on the rail. I'm suspended for a few seconds, then the air is knocked out of me.

"Lily!" the Doctor calls, jumping over the railing, landing next to me like a cat. "Are you all right?"

"Peachy," I gasp, sitting up slowly. He braces me. I blink a few times. "Well, that was fun. Can we not do that again? K, thanks."

He kisses the side of my head. "Yeah, you're fine," he chuckles.

"What, exactly, did you do?" I ask, massaging the back of my neck.

He bats my hands away. Two cool hands take over. "I reversed the polarity and increased the magnetivity, putting us into a state of positivity bigger than the time lock, which then rejected the Tardis."

Or something like that. I think he just spoke gibberish, actually.

"In stupid human terms?"

He pats my back. "It's spacey-wacey. Either way, we are out of the time lock." He stands and offers me a hand.

"And you said it was impossible." I tease, taking his hand. He pulls me up.

"Did I?" he questions, the picture of innocence.

"Yes, you very much did, high and mighty Time Lord," I say, following him up the stairs, back to the console. "In fact, I think I was the one who mentions that nothing is impossible."

He smiles at me, then ducks behind the console.

"Wait a second." I pull the hair tie out of my hair, then redo the lazy bun. "I don't like that look you just gave me."

"What look?" his voice drifts from under the console now. I cross my arms and march over to him. He's half under the console, no doubt fiddling with something.

"That smile. That twinkle in your eye…" I gasp. "You knew how to get us out all along!"

"I may have had a bit of an idea, yes."

I tap my foot. "So why did you say that it was impossible?"

The Doctor slides out from under the console and bounces back to his feet. "Because you didn't believe in yourself. The Lily Meyers I knew believed in herself. You just needed to learn that you can, too."

I punch his shoulder. I can't help it. The movement just happens.

"Ow!" he shouts, rubbing the spot. "That hurt!"

"That's what you get for lying to me. Again!"

"I didn't lie to you," he explains. "It is impossible to get out of a time lock. Unless you are a Time Lord, which I happen to be."

He really is insufferable. I now understand why everyone gets so frustrated with him. It's cute on TV. Not in person.

"Then why did you tell me you fixed the vortex manipulator?"

"I did!" he insists.

"But it still brought me here randomly!"

"Because that's what that one is supposed to do! You're meant to randomly pass through my life."

I start to retort, but the sound stops in my throat, making me croak. We stare each other down, never breaking eye contact.

I blink finally and turn away. "Fine. Whatever." I flop onto the jump seat and immediately start picking at my cuticles.

I saw something in his strange hazel-brown eyes I didn't like, didn't understand. It was just a flicker, but it was there. Something so strong, so sad, so lonely, so… naked. Something I can't find the word for. Something I don't think I want to know the word for.

"What's wrong now?" he asks, sighing.

"Nothing," I lie. Everyone knows when a girl says "nothing," it actually means "something."

"You're playing with your fingers," he says. "That usually means something."

I groan and drop my hands to my sides. "No fair. You know more about me than I know of you."

"You know my history and my future," he sinks into the chair next to me. "I think you win."

I glare at him. He taps my shoulder with his own. "Want to go outside?"

"Why?"

"I think you might like it."

"Is it a cliff to throw yourself off? Because that sounds nice right now."

"Oh, Lily!" he jumps off the seat. "Stop being a grouch. I've already explained myself." He takes my hands and tugs me off the seat. "Just take a little peak outside," he says, walking backwards to guide me to the door. "Just a small one. If you're not impressed, you can come back here and we can continue talking about the same thing over and over again." He lets go of one hand so he can snap his fingers. The door creaks open.

"You think you're so cool when you do that," I mutter. But the curiosity gets the better of me. I stick my head outside the door.

We're in a building constructed almost entirely of windows. I step outside the Tardis and press my hands against the window.

The sun is either rising or setting (I can never tell the difference) against a beautiful ocean. The water reflects the pink, purple, and orange hues. Perfectly aqua blue water spreads out away from the sunset. There is only water, as far as the eye can see.

"Where are we?" I ask. I can't keep the awe out of my voice. I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful.

The Doctor stands next to me. "Atlantis."


	17. 7: A Drowned World Part One

**.7.**

**A Drowned World**

**Part One**

"Like, as in, we are on the lost continent of Atlantis?" I can barely contain my glee.

Eyes wide, I skip around the glass room, trying my best not to knock into the creatures scattered throughout. Some of them are just as interesting as the view. The typical tourist gear—baseball caps, Hawaiian shirts, Bermuda shorts, fanny packs—are hilarious on the lavender skinned slug-like family of four, reminiscent in some ways of Jabba the Hut with a humanoid face. I stifle a smirk as they crawl past me. I recognize few of the creatures, though I try not to gape at the Catkind. My fingers itch to pet their fur, despite their human-sized stature. I think of my little orange kitty back home; my gut wrenches in homesickness.

I put that feeling aside. I need to think of this as an adventure. Basically the coolest adventure ever. I can't worry about what should be and what might have been. I need to focus on the now. And on the getting out of here.

I focus on the view. Oh man, the view is amazing. I'm usually not a huge fan of oceans—I hate, hate, hate salt water—but the water is just so beautiful. The pink and purple rays of sun reflecting against perfect blue water. It's like a watercolor. Or a Monet painting.

"Yes," the Doctor says, striding next to me with his hands in his pockets. "Well, more like the lost planet of Atlantis. Atlantis III, actually. There were three Atlantises—Atlanti?—but the other two were destroyed. This is the last Atlantis. So, no, nothing like the Atlantis that you speak of. In fact, this planet is nick-named Atlantis Omega. The Last Atlantis."

I press my hands and forehead to the glass once more. The beautiful azure ocean stretches out further than I can see. There is no land, no boats, just this tower. Ooh! Was that a dolphin that just jumped out of the water?

"And what is this building?" I ask.

"Poseidon's Palace," the Doctor explains. "Both a luxury resort and the capital of the Tranquil Waters."

I snort. "Poseidon's Palace? Really?"

"Greece is not the only place to discover the gods," the Doctor tsks. "Besides, we're about, oh I'd say fifty thousand years into the future." He sticks his right pointer finger in his mouth, then tests the air. "The year fifty-two twenty-eleven. Good year! New worlds are discovered. Humans reach farther into space than they ever have, burrowing into the universe like ants. Pluto regains its status as a planet—'bout time, too. Poor Pluto. He was my favorite Disney character. Not Goofy. No, stupid Goofy. Bad, bad Goofy and his talking and walking upright." I raise an eyebrow at him and the Doctor clears his throat.

"So, who inhabits Atlantis?" I ask, leaning against the glass.

The Doctor brightens. He really loves hearing himself talk. "The Atlanteans. Outstanding race. Lungs on land. Gills in sea. Part fish, part human."

"Mermaids?" I squeak. A weird combination of Ariel and Daryl Hannah in _Splash_ swim around my head.

"Shhh!" The Doctor shoves his hand over my mouth and looks around. Positive no one heard, the Doctor sticks his nose in my face. "Don't say that. Don't ever say that. That word is enough to issue your death sentence. Understand?" I nod. The Doctor stares at me for another second, probably waiting to make sure I won't say anything else stupid, before he removes his hand from my mouth.

I wipe my lips on reflex. "Sorry."

The Doctor pats my head, then continues. "When an Atlantean touches salt water, their legs turn into tails and gills appear from their neck. Vice versa when they dry off—legs and lungs."

How. Cool. Is. That?

"Sounds like magic," I murmur, entranced.

The Doctor scoffs. "It's just biochemical reactions. There's a compound in salt water that reacts with the skin, fusing it together to create a tail. Then instinct takes over, and they use their gills to draw oxygen. The gills never go away, they are just not functional in air. Another compound in the air reacts to the tail and breaks down the chemical reaction, resulting in legs. Again, instinct to breath with lungs. It's simple, really."

I followed maybe 35% of that. 40% tops. I'm sure my face is blank as I stare at him, causing him to roll his eyes and throw his hands in the air and stalk away from me. "Fine. It's magic. Later, unicorns and butterflies give people sweets and then the prince kisses the sleeping princess, waking her up, and everyone lives happily ever after."

Unbidden, I think of kissing Michael. The soft, yet demanding texture of his lips against mine. A content sigh. A flutter of fingers.

Clearing my throat, I focus back on the Doctor, who's watching me, eyes soft, knowing. He squeezes my shoulder, then looks beyond me and brightens.

"Oh look! A tour!" the Doctor's tone is reverent. "I love a good tour. And a bad one, come to think of it. It's even better when I can correct them!"

I roll my eyes. "I'm sure it is, Doctor." But if he heard me, my comment goes ignored. Speaking of ignoring, I shove those feelings of despair away again to deal with when I'm alone. In bed. Whenever the hell that's gonna happen.

I follow him to a small group of people, consisting of that family of four slug thingies, a couple of tall humanoid cats, an Ood (YAY! Ood! I love Ood!), two very small creatures with bright pink skin and lacy wings, and, holding hands with the Ood, the strangest little girl I have every seen. She looks to be maybe eleven or twelve years old. She has dark brown hair with an almost green tinge to it. In fact, everything about her is tinged in green, even her pale skin. Her dress is a muted brown. Everything about her is shiny. Not sparkly, but as if she were dipped into a giant vat of corn syrup or lip gloss.

"Welcome to the Poseidon's Palace, and as they say way back on Earth, aloha!"

I jump back as a woman appears out of nowhere. She looks much like the strange little girl, only the woman is wearing a sea foam green suit designed like a flight attendant from the 1960's, which matches her sea foam green skin well. Her hair is a gorgeous bright red, as if someone plucked a red crayon out of the box and sculpted it into hair. It's pulled back into a tightly braided bun and a little hat is pinned to the top of her head. Her smile is bright, white, and infectious.

The Doctor stands just behind the little girl. I stop next to him. The little girl turns around, fixing me two big, bright icy blue eyes, exactly the same shade as a Siberian Husky. Her dark green lips are curved into a small "O." My mind flashes to the girl from _The Ring_. I can't help it. She's giving me the creeps.

The Doctor, on the other hand, gives her a wide open smile and waves at her, hand blurring back and forth. The little girl's eyes widen and she shrinks against the Ood.

"My name is Laylani," the tour guide continues. Her voice is smooth, confident, and oh so bubbly. "I will be your tour guide on this beautiful Tranquil Waters day. The tour will take approximately three hours, during which there will be four fifteen minute breaks for you to explore the Palace on your own. Can everyone hold up their tickets, please?"

"Uhh," I whisper, gaping up at the Doctor.

He just smiles and pulls out a small brown wallet-like thing. He flashes the wallet at Laylani. Oh right. Psychic paper.

"Wonderful!" Laylani claps her hands together. "The tour will start in precisely three minutes, giving us just enough time to get acquainted. Who would like to start introductions?"

The Doctor, of course, wastes no time in addressing the group. "Hello!" he says. "I'm the Doctor. This is my friend Lily." He places a hand on my shoulder. I flick a few fingers in salute, smiling and blushing. Everyone is looking at us as if we're the strangest things they have ever seen. I suppose we are, since we're both so human looking. Or, well, from the Doctor's perspective, we both look Time Lord.

"We are the Vilmagooch family," the male-ish looking giant slug thing says. "I am Todd. My wife Maud," the slightly smaller apparently female waves a three fingered hand. "And my daughter Aud and son Rod." The siblings roll their eyes and ignore everyone.

"I'm Coricopat," says one of the cat people.

"Tantomile," the other lifts a paw in salute.

Coricopat and Tantomile have the same exact coloring. Mostly black fur with stripes of white and tan, especially on their faces. If Coricopat didn't have such a larger build, I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between the two.

The two small pink creatures speak together. "We are Faye and Fayette." They giggle, a high pitch chiming of bells. Their wings flutter, though they do not leave the ground.

I glance at the Doctor, but he's politely listening to everyone else. These people are weird. For serious.

The Ood lifts up its translating globe. "This is Miss Kiana," the Ood says, head tilting.

The girl stares at everyone, a little afraid. She ducks behind the Ood, hiding her face in his shirt. No one thinks to ask for the Ood's name.

"Wonderful!" Laylani claps her hands again. We all simultaneously turn to her. "Let us begin the tour, shall we? Please follow me to the lifts. We will begin our tour on the first level and work our way up."

We follow her, shuffling to the elevator. Some things don't change, I guess. No mater the species, when it comes to a tour, we're all cattle in the end. Shuffle shuffle. Clang clang. Moo.

"I have a bad feeling about this," I whisper to the Doctor.

He actually has the gaul to look surprised. "Why?"

I want to punch his arms. My fingers even form a fist, which I hide behind my back. "Because when you go on tours, something bad happens. The only thing that would make even more ominous would be if you were wearing a tuxedo."

The Doctor just sniffs at me.

The elevator, it turns out, is also glass. The doors open with a steaming/sucking sound, much like the sound of an escape pod door in an air lock. The elevator is submerged in a giant tank of water, providing a 360 degree view of strange, bright, tropical fish. We squeeze into the elevator, which isn't as sardine can as it sounds. The space is a good size, probably bigger than my bedroom back… ahem. Anyway.

As soon as the doors close, I jump back, slamming into the Doctor. Purple and blue lights strobe to an electronica soundtrack of whales singing. The "music" isn't overwhelming, but I didn't expect the lights. Different advertisements for strange products in every language I would never even think existed rape our senses. Everyone else is calm, as if this happens all the time. It takes all my strength to not put my hands over my ears and rock back and forth like a little kid at the end of a temper tantrum.

Finally, the door opens. We shuffle out (once again, I feel like cattle). As I take in the view around me, my jaw drops.

Like the upper floor, everything is glass, providing a perfect view of the ocean floor. Some sort of glowing lights bob up and down, scattered in the water, providing light for the few fish. It's not the most beautiful view in the world, to be honest. There's mostly sand and some rocks. A few odd, ugly fish flit around.

Our group is alone.

"Welcome to the bottom of Tranquil Waters," Laylani the tour guide chirps. Her voice echoes against the glass, creating an eerie, trapped-in-here-with-who-knows-how-much-water-around-you effect. "You are now standing 38,962 kilometers below sea level. Please take a few moments to explore as I give you a brief history of this structure."

The Doctor grins at my astounded expression and grabs my hand. He pulls me around the room, bobbing like those glowing globes as he tries to see everything. Laylani babbles on, mostly ignored.

"How far are we in miles?" I ask the Doctor. "I have no sense of kilometers."

"Americans," he grumbles. "24,209.8644 miles."

"Oh," I say, oh so intelligently. I press my fingers to the glass. "Why are we not crushed from the pressure right now?"

"Are you going to ask boring questions all day?" the Doctor asks, clearly annoyed.

"Fine, I'll ask the tour guide," I snap, sticking my nose in the air. "She probably knows more than you do anyway."

That got him. "It's spacey-wacey and boring," he replies, reminding me of an annoyed school boy with ADD. "This is… underwater and exciting!" He points into the distance. "New species are discovered everyday. Look closely and maybe there will be a fish named after you someday."

I follow where he is pointing, but see only sand and water.

"Or not," he says.

"Don't get me wrong," I watch a lone neon green eel-like thing pulse by. "This is totally the coolest thing ever. I'm just… nervous."

"Why?" the Doctor snakes along with the eel-like thing, which lights up like a firefly, the light keeping a steady beat. "Bad things don't always happen when I'm around."

Did he seriously just say that? The cardinal rule of life is to never, ever say anything like that!

I stop short, body tense, waiting. Hearing nothing, sensing nothing, I take a deep breath. He's right. I'm sure things will be fine.

"Now, if you will all please file back into the elevator, we will stop at our next destination." Laylani's smooth, chipper Barbie voice gathers us back to the group.

The Doctor takes my hand again. I glance down at it, then back up at him. His neck is still craning, as eager as a 5-year old boy at a monster truck rally. I smile, allowing myself to calm down and enjoy the moment of comfort he brings. For such a wound up, crazy alien—or, and I mean this with the utmost respect, a mad man with a box—he's definitely a sweetie.

That word, of course, makes me think of River. Of the future. His future. Or, well, what I think is his future. As we enter the elevator, squeezing past Todd and Maud, once again stuck next to Kiana the Scary Girl From _The Ring,_ and being overstimulated with ads and lights, I want to ask him if it's happened yet. If the end has come. And how it ends.

Because, let's face it, I was ripped away from my world with one episode left. That one, crucial episode of how it all happens. Obviously in my world, he survives, because the show's not being cancelled, but I don't know how it happens and, though I have my theories, the fact that I don't know really scares me. Because it's becoming personal now. He's not just the Doctor. He's my Doctor. And the only person who can get me back home.

And with that wonderful, oh-so-positive notion floating around my brain like a lazy fish in the ocean around us, the elevator stops moving. The lights go out. The ads become silent. The door does not open.

Before anyone has a chance to scream, I punch the Doctor's arm. Hard.

He cries in pain. "What was that for?"

"I knew it!" I accuse.

And that's when the piercing scream pops my eardrums.


	18. 7: A Drowned World Part Two

**The response to my original adventure has been overwhelmingly positive! Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing!  
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><p><strong>.7.<strong>

**A Drowned World**

**Part Two**

Three seconds after the screaming starts, the lights and sound come back on. I jump back, crashing into the Ood. The Doctor immediately starts sonicing the entire elevator, pushing Faye and Fayette, the small pink creatures with wings, out of his way. The Vilmagooch family starts hollering—Todd complaining about the cost of tickets and the horrific treatment they have gotten thus far, Maud about her fear of the dark, Aud about her communication device failing in the middle of a chat, and Rod about his music device shutting off.

"Sorry!" I say, shrinking away from the Ood's tentacle-y mouth thing.

The Ood blinks his large, slanted eyes. "That is quite alright."

I smile at him, then glance down at Kiana. She's shivering with fright. I should probably comfort her, huh? Man, I'm horrible with kids.

"Attention, everyone!" Amazing. Laylani doesn't even have to raise her voice. Everyone falls silent (as silent as the elevator can be with electronica assaulting our ears). "We seem to have experienced a small power surge. We will take a short stop on the next available floor before continuing our journey."

On cue, the elevator doors whoosh open. I'm pushed into Kiana as everyone stampedes off the elevator. I brace my hands against the glass, trying not to smoosh the poor girl. When I'm finally able to move, I slink away from her. My shirt sticks to my skin. It makes a sloppy popping noise as I pull the fabric away.

I'm sure the horror is apparent. I can feel my eyes widen and my jaw drop. Kiana darts away from me. Her skin is viscous. That is so gross! I wipe at the shirt, frowning. I rub some of the goo between my thumb and forefinger. The consistency is similar to glue and hair gel.

The Doctor is sonicing the outside of the elevator as I step out. I wipe my hand on my pants. The goo is already drying.

"So, what happened?" I ask the Doctor, holding my shirt out from my skin.

The Doctor regards the green and copper sonic, frowning. "Something cut off the power supply."

"Well, that's a 'duh' if I ever heard it," I roll my eyes.

"I demand to be told what is going on," dark-purple faced Todd blares at calm Laylani. "What is that man doing to the lift?"

The Doctor, not even looking up, pulls the psychic paper out of his breast pocket and flips it open. "Lift inspector. I'm checking for lift problems." He sticks the little wallet back into his tweed jacket. "There shouldn't be problems with the power," he mutters. "This structure is pure crystal, sealed nearly solid with clear electrical wiring. The roof and walls collect the sunlight and convert it into energy. There is more than enough collected on an Atlantean cloudy day, never mind a bright, sunny day like today. Unless…"

The Doctor points the sonic to the ceiling. After a second of whirring, he studies the device. "Nothing."

"Normally, with anyone else, I'd say that you were making something out of nothing," I shake my head. "But it's you and it's a tour and it's however many leagues under the sea. I'd say something is going to happen."

"Fathom," he pockets the screwdriver.

I raise an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"When you travel under the water, distance is measured by fathoms. Leagues are above and across water."

"Good to know?" More of a question than a true statement. I rub my fingertips across my shirt. Cool. It's dry already. I drop the shirt, glancing up in time to catch the Doctor staring at me. Or, more to the point, my torso. "Hey, my eyes are up here, buddy," I joke.

The Doctor shakes his head. "Right. Laylani!" And he's off. I trail behind him to the group that is bombarding the tour guide with demands and questions. Kiana and the Ood are standing away from everyone, staring out into the dark waters. The glowing globes bob in the current, catching the reflective scales of a tuna-like creature. The girl seems lost and sad.

Ok, maybe I should have reacted better to… well, it's not her fault that a viscous fluid secretes from her pores. I should probably try to apologize.

"Hey," I squat down next to her. "Sorry for squishing you before. Are you ok?"

"I am fine."

I catch myself just before I fall on my butt. The girl's voice is absolutely beautiful, a whispering alto, smooth like waves on a calm day. There is music in her voice. I scramble for a question, just to hear her speak again.

"What are you?" Whoops. "If you don't mind me asking. I mean, I'm just a silly human far away from home and I've never seen anything like yo—I mean, like this place before and I'm just curious. But you don't have to answer if you don't want to." Great job, Meyers. Put the girl at ease by babbling her to death.

The girl smiles and I swear that fish pop out of nowhere and stare at her. "I am Atlantean," she answers. I'm reminded of a calm, cool breeze on a hot summer day. "From the Northern Waters. This is my—." She says something in a beautiful, swelling language. The Tardis apparently cannot (or will not) translate it for me.

"Can you repeat that?" I ask.

"I don't know how to describe it to outsiders," she admits. "This is my first week breathing air. Now that I am a woman, I am allowed to travel the Waters. Poseidon's Palace is famous for its beauty." She smiles again and I find myself smiling with her. "We Atlanteans admire beauty above all else."

I can't help but understand. Up closer, her hair is the most magnificent shade of dark green with highlights of brighter green shimmering in the light. Her skin too has an opalescent quality. How was I scared of her before? She's not creepy. She's breathtaking.

"I am sorry for your shirt," she says, pointing.

I glance down at the now dried spot. "It's fine. Not harm done."

"I assume you know little of the Atlanteans?" she asks. I nod and she continues. "When we mature at fifty years, we acquire our land legs. For a fortnight, we are encased in a protective layer, so that our skin dies not dry fast and send us into shock." She laughs, making me think of seals (but in a good way). "In a week, this will be over. I cannot tell you how excited I am to truly feel air upon my skin."

I'm about to answer, saying something very intelligent like "Oh, that's cool!" but I'm interrupted.

The room rocks to the left, causing me to stagger, dropping me fully to the floor. After a deafening crash, the lights go out again.

The screaming starts all over again.

It's so loud. I press my hands to my ears, but it does little to quell the high pitch sound. I can't even tell where it's coming from. It sounds like it's coming from all around me. Even in my head.

Something cool and wet presses against my back. Kiana.

A green flash of light. The Doctor's sonic. Then the Doctor is basked in a sudden white light. I blink. My eyes then register the long ultra violet lamp.

"Everyone, keep calm!" the Doctor shouts. He spins in a circle, sonicing. The screaming stops.

Of course, everyone is in an uproar again. The light held by the Doctor is the only source of light right now, but believe me, it's covering most of the room.

Kiana scrambles off my back. "I'm sorry," she says, shouldering to the window. "I lost my footing."

I wiggle my back. Ugh, that stuff on her skin is so gross. Lucky she's a sweetheart. "Don't worry about it." I jump to my feet, wiping my hands on my pants. Yeah, after this adventure, I so have a date with the Tardis's wardrobe.

"Lily?" the Doctor calls. The bright strip of light circles around.

"Over here," I raise my hands, waving. The Doctor stops, relief registering on his worried, shadowed face.

"How could you let this happen?" Todd is roaring in Laylani's tight face. "This is the worst treatment I have ever…"

"What was that crash?" Faye/Fayette ask. I'm not sure which pink creature is who.

"What was that screaming?" the other Faye/Fayette adds.

"How thick are the walls again?" Tantomille purrs, head twitching at every wall.

"If you will please remain calm…" Laylani tries.

"My communicator is dead!" Aud shrieks.

"So's my music player!" Rod echoes his sister's tone.

"And mine!" Coricopat exclaims.

"Please," Laylani tries again.

"I hate the dark," Maud whines.

"I demand a full refund and reimbursement for my troubles!" Todd's short, three fingered hands wave.

The Doctor moves in front of Laylani. "Everyone SHUT IT!" he shouts.

Amazingly, everyone listens. Everyone calms and stares at him as if all this were his fault.

"Now, I know you're nervous and upset," the Doctor says. "But you're all missing something very, very important. Something you might not notice, but was there. Do you know what that something is?"

Stunned silence.

"Think."

I count the people in front of me. I check to see that Kiana is still next to me. I didn't have anything with me besides the clothes on my back and the vortex manipulator on my wrist, so I didn't drop anything. But I am determined to answer this riddle. What would be there that no one would notice?

Wait.

"Where is the Ood?" I ask.

"Bingo!" the Doctor exclaims. After a pause, he continues, "Oh, I'm not saying that again."

Ooo, it's like I'm a real companion now! Ahem. I probably shouldn't be excited about this.

"The Ood?" Tantomille says. "I don't remember an Ood."

Everyone else murmurs their agreement.

"He was with Kiana," I say, gesturing to the little girl.

She gazes up at me with big, ice blue eyes. "I did not come on this tour with an Ood."

If this were the TV show, that would be the cue for creepy music.

"But you did," I insist. The Doctor makes his way to my side, pushing Rod away and almost kicking Faye/Fayette. "I saw you holding hands. He introduced you. I bumped into him on the elevator."

The Doctor waves his sonic like a baton. "Kiana," he says, voice quiet and dangerous. "How did you get here?"

"I swam to the dock," she explains. Her voice is so smooth, so calming. Of course she swam. Why wouldn't she?

"You're a bit young to be traveling on your own," the Doctor comments. Why does he mistrust her? There is nothing wrong with Kiana. She's just a little girl. She needs protecting.

"I am a woman now," she sticks her chin up. "I can travel on my own if I so wish."

The Doctor regards her for a moment. Then he takes my hand. "Stay by my side, Blossom," he says. "There's something going on that I can't quite put my finger on. But mark my words, I will find out what it is."

I allow him to pull me away from Kiana. I frown at him, then glance back at the little Atlantean. Her hands are clenched together and her feet are drawing imaginary circles on the metal floor.

"When will the blasted lights come back on?" Todd hollers.

As if waiting for his order, the lights blink back on. My eyes water as they adjust to the sudden brightness.

"Finally!" Todd grumbles.

"Is there another way up?" the Doctor asks Laylani. "An emergency exit?"

Laylani shakes her head. "The only way is the lift. It's programmed to carry hundreds of people at once, bringing them all to the floor they wish."

My head can't exactly wrap around that concept. It sounds like magic to me. Or teleportation.

"What happens when the power fails?" the Doctor absently rubs my hand with his thumb. The pleasant feeling is very distracting.

"The power cannot fail," Laylani says, confident. "There is only one way that can happen and even then there is enough stored power on each floor to last at least a week."

I tug my hand away from the Doctor. "Unless something is draining that power," I say.

Oh crap. That does not bode well.

The elevator doors ping open. We all turn to look at it, but no one makes a move.

"How far are we from the surface?" the Doctor asks.

Laylani just stares at him. "One hundred floors." She thinks a moment. "I might be able to call the special service lift. It only goes to three floors. The top, the water surface, and the bottom." She shakes her head. "But there is no reason. This was just a fluke. Everything is sorted now."

And out go the lights. Again with the screaming.

The building sways. I fall to my knees. Two arms wrap around me, pulling me to a chest. The familiar texture of tweed. My eye presses against the corner of a bowtie.

A moment later, faster than the past two times, the lights come back on. The elevator chirps again.

I break away from the Doctor and scowl at the whole room. "Oh, can everyone please stop jinxing it?"


	19. 7: A Drowned World Part Three

**.7.**

**A Drowned World**

**Part Three**

"I think I can sonic one of the lifts," the Doctor says. "Make it move faster. Get us back to the Tardis."

The Doctor is gripping my upper arm. He had segregated the two of us away from the group, closer to the open elevator. Kiana is leaning against the window a few yards from the core group, who are still complaining to Laylani as if there is anything she can do.

"And what about everyone else?" I ask.

His gaze softens. "Sometimes you can't save everyone."

Seriously? Who is this man and what has he done with the Doctor? My eyes widen and it takes all my reserve to keep my jaw from landing on the floor.

"You cannot be serious," I say. "You're not even going to try?"

"We're not necessarily in danger."

I snap out of his grip and cross my arms. "Something keeps banging into the building. We're one hundred floors from the surface of the water. The electricity keeps going out. This doesn't exactly spell out hugs and puppies."

The Doctor is torn. His eyes hold such pain. "I don't want to put you at risk again."

That makes my nerves jump. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. "Never mind. It's in your future. The point is, I don't want you in danger." He spins around, then spins back to me. "Here is what we'll do. I'll take you to the Tardis, then come back and help everyone here. How's that?"

I lift my chin. "Or you can not take me to the Tardis and we can both help everyone here."

"That is not an option!" the Doctor shouts.

"You're wasting time yelling at me and coming up with this stupid plan when you could be getting everyone out of here!" I shout back.

Boom!

The building tilts again and everything goes black. I smash into the Doctor. We tumble to the floor, him landing on his back, me right on top of him. My forehead slams into his chin.

Ow. Is he made of bone or rock?

Rubbing the area, I roll off his chest. He rolls with me, so now I'm on my back and he's on his side, pressing against me.

"Are you alright?" His tone is soft and worried. A hand brushes my hair.

"Peachy," I say.

The screaming starts again. I curl into a ball at the sound, trying to block it out. This is horrible. Seriously. What the hell is going on?

Then the screaming stops and the lights come back on.

I remove my hands from my ears, watching the Doctor do the same. Our eyes lock. He stands, offering me a hand. I place my left hand in his. For two hearts, he's not nearly as warm as I thought. My breath hitches as he gazes at me.

"What am I to you?"

The words tumble out. I'm not even aware of thinking them before I say them.

The Doctor just opens the cover of my vortex manipulator and starts pressing buttons.

"No!" I shout, trying to shove him away. He is stronger than he looks. "If you do that, who knows where I will fall?"

"I'm programming it for the Tardis." He pulls out the sonic screwdriver. "You'll be safer there." He finishes sonicing, grabs my face between his hands, and presses a kiss to my forehead.

Well. That's… different.

Without another word, I'm engulfed in heat and electricity.

And then I'm choking.

I'm underwater. I can't breathe. This isn't the Tardis.

Flailing, I try to swim up. I force my eyes open, but in the salty water, my vision is blurry and I can't tell how close I am to the surface. There is a giant black blob above me, reeling back, then smashing into a light, even bigger blob.

Then comes the screaming.

Even in the water, it's as loud as ever.

Panicking, I smash my hand against the vortex manipulator. I gulp another lungful of water before the heat takes me away.

I land on a dark floor.

I bend over and throw up sea water. Crawling on my hands and knees, I push myself away from where I think the puddle is—my vision is still blurry. I fall face first to the floor. I should roll to my side in case I pass out and start vomiting more water or something.

Each cough hurts more than the last. My lungs burn from the salt water, my eyes sting and water every time I try to open them.

I'm going to kill him. That's how the last Time Lord will die. From me being pissed off at him.

A few minutes later, my breathing becomes normal. I crawl back to my hands and knees.

Blinking out tears and salt from my eyes, I try to focus on my surroundings.

Due to the glowing globes in the water, I'm apparently back in Poseidon's Palace. The ceiling lights are burnt out, except for one that's flickering above me. In between flickers, I can make out a sign on the center column that holds the elevator. The signs say 142. Ok. I take that to mean I'm on the 142nd floor. Or something. I dunno, I didn't notice these signs before.

I crawl to the window and use it to brace myself as I try to stand back up. I need to find a way back to the Tardis before the Doctor leaves. If he hasn't already. Have I travelled through time as well?

No, just try to get to the top floor.

Standing, I try to step back from my wall. My knees buckle and I brace against the window again.

That's when I notice it. The wall, the window facing the ocean, is riddled with cracks. As soon as I notice this, something very large and very dark crashes into the window I'm braced against.

I fall back, slipping in the puddle I had made when I landed here.

That one blinking light blinks out.

The screaming starts again, so much louder than it has ever been before. I'm paralyzed by the sound.

When it's over, I open my eyes, not even realizing that I'd closed them. I scramble back to my feet and turn to the window again.

A large blob-like thing floats mere inches from the glass. I want to focus on the face, but my attention is caught by something else.

The cracks are growing. Water is trickling from them. No. No, no, no! I run for the elevator just as a piece of glass pops out of place. Water pours onto the floor. I slam my hands against the elevator door. There's no button. How the hell are you supposed to call an elevator without a button?

More glass breaks. Water is gushing now. It's already to my knees. Not long now.

I tear the cover of the manipulator open. I smash a couple buttons, but hesitate before I hit one. I don't know where I'm going. Is this really safe? Which is better: going somewhere unknown or drowning?

I don't need to make the decision. The elevator chirps open. I run in, smacking directly into a body.

Voices shout about the incoming water.

The doors whoosh closed.

I look up into the face of the person I'd run into.

My heart melts and my face bursts into a big smile.

"Lily, how did you get here?" the Doctor asks, amazed.

I hug his middle. After a brief hesitation, he encircles my back. "I landed in the ocean," I explain into his chest. "So I smashed a couple buttons and landed on that floor instead. How did the elevators start working?" I lift my face from his chest, then let him go. I glance around at the group. It's smaller than before. The Vilmagooch family is there as well as the catkind, but not Faye or Fayette. Kiana is cowering in a corner. "What happened?" I whisper.

"The palace is under attack," the Doctor explains. I stare at him. Where did his coat go? "They're striking each floor, trying to flood them."

I study the group again. "Faye and Fayette?"

His eyes burn with both anger and sadness. "Saltwater is deadly poisonous to the Pix."

So they were pixies. Kinda.

"Who would flood them? And why is the elevator taking so long?"

"The channels are clogged with everyone trying to escape," the Doctor explains. "As for the attackers, I haven't figured that part out yet." Which is clearly annoying him.

I hesitate before asking. "How long have you been trying to get out?"

"At least an hour."

Ok, so I didn't jump that far. But far enough to miss out on a lot.

I squeeze the water from my hair. For once, everyone is silent, probably from shock. For some reason, my eyes are drawn to Kiana. Everyone else is scared, but look at her. She's nearly catatonic from fright.

"I'm glad you're okay," the Doctor whispers in my ear. "Why didn't you stay in the Tardis?"

I roll my eyes. "I already told you. I landed in the water, not the Tardis. Then I landed on the floor I was just on and this thing was ramming itself against the window."

"What thing?" the Doctor interrupts.

Everyone shuts up and stares at me. I swallow, realizing just now that, though the swirling lights are on, the music is finally off. I notice this, because all I can hear are the sounds of everyone breathing.

"I'm not sure. It was really blurry," I say. "I just remember that it was big and dark. And I think the screaming came from it, because it was louder there than anywhere else."

"How can the Palace be under attack?" Todd shouts. God, is that man/slug/thing/whatever capable of speaking at a reasonable volume?

"I don't friggen know," I say. I turn to the lavendar skinned slug man. "I don't even know what it was."

"I have an idea," the Doctor says, whipping out the sonic once more. "Maybe it's not screaming. Maybe it's trying to speak to us, but it's so loud, we can't understand it."

Boom.

Another crash. The elevator goes dark. I slam against a wall. The small room is filled with a bright green light.

"Give us the Princess or else we will destroy the Palace."

It's still loud, but it's slightly below screaming, just enough that we can finally make out the words.

"What princess?" Coricopat, looking a little waterlogged, asks.

"We know of no princess," Tantomile adds.

The lights come back on, though they are blinking now.

"Attention Guests," says a pleasant computerized voice. "Power levels are below five percent. Six minutes until total power shut down. Please exit the building immediately. Thank you."

"Oh, bloody brilliant!" Of course, Todd is the first to react.

"Six minutes," the Doctor says, pacing. "I can do this in six minutes. Six minutes is easy. How many people can their possibly be? I'm sure we can find the princess and save the day."

Laylani's voice finally has a bit of an edge to it. "There are at least one hundred thousand visitors to Poseidon's Palace today."

The Doctor glares at her. "Fine. It's a bit tricky, but I've had worse."

The elevator finally stops. The doors whoosh open. And here comes the sounds of complete chaos. Todd and his family immediately join the fray, with Coricopat and Tantomile not far behind. Laylani hesitates, casting the Doctor and I a strange look, before running away.

Only the Doctor and I are left.

"So, what's the plan?" I turn to the Doctor, happy to see everyone else run away.

"We go to the top and get you safe and sound in the Tardis."

"No!" I stomp my waterlogged foot, causing a spray. "I'm going to help you."

"It's not safe!" the Doctor gets in my face.

"It never is with you and that's what makes it so amazing!"

"Ahem."

The Doctor and I look at the owner of the third voice. Kiana is staring at us with big eyes. She's still sitting on the ground, arms hugging her legs to her chest.

"I know who the princess is," she says.

The elevator doors close.

"Who?" I ask.

The Doctor stays silent. He has that look he gets when he figures something out and doesn't like it.

Kiana rises, careful to stay away from the puddle I've created on the floor. If she touches the water, will she grow a tail?

"Me."


	20. 7: A Drowned World Part Four

**This section is dedicated to Snowy702. =)**

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**A Drowned World**

**Part Four**

"You're a friggin' princess!" I exclaim.

"Not a princess," the Doctor explains. "The Princess. The Princess of the Northern Waters. The next in line to the throne of the Empire of Atlantis."

I roll my eyes. "There's an empire? Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?"

The Doctor shoots me a look, brow furrowed. "This is besides the point."

The cheery female computerized voice speaks again. "Five minutes until total power loss. Please exit the building immediately."

"Wasted a minute," the Doctor grumbles. "Ok, yes, we can do this. Kiana!" He spins to the small Atlantean, whose face is suddenly streaming with tears. She touches the drops in awe and examines her fingers as if she's never felt tears before. The Doctor's tone softens. "Kiana, dear, why did you run away?"

What the hell? Who says the girl ran away? She's just traveling, for god's sake!

"I want to explore the world," Kiana whispers. "I am a woman now. I can make my own decisions."

Ok, so she DID run away. So what? Can you fault her for doing basically the same thing the Doctor's been doing for almost a thousand years?

"You've put a lot of people in danger, Kiana." The Doctor's tone is serious, almost deadly. "I understand the urge to run. Believe me. I've been doing it all my life. But you have responsibility."

"I don't care!" she shouts. Her voice, still musical, has taken on a pinch of dissonance and more than a touch of D Minor, the saddest of all keys. "This is my life!"

"I have to take you back. It's the only way to end this."

"Whoa!" I say, stepping in between the two of them. "Hold on a second. We're talking about free will here, right? As in, Doctor," here I glare at him, "one of the things you admire most about humans? Can't someone else become Empress or whatever?"

The Doctor closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Yes, but, Lily, you don't know what you're talking about."

"No, I think I do," I say, standing in front of Kiana, blocking her from his view. I don't like the dangerous look on his face. "It's simply really, and it's a common theme in literature throughout time. And don't give me that look, Doctor. Yes, I read books. A lot actually. And I did great in English in high school and we were beat over the head with the tragic hero theme and fate versus free will and this is a perfect case!"

"Does this soliloquy have a point?" the Doctor interrupts, arms crossed. "Or are you just wasting time?"

"I'm getting to my point!" I say, taking a step towards him. "You can't just make her do what she doesn't want to do. It's not right!"

A corner of his mouth quirks up. "Spoken like a true human."

"You're just being a crotchety old Time Lord."

"Four minutes until total power loss. Please exit the building or you will die." Thanks, computer!

"Lily," he takes a step towards me, so we're almost nose-to-nose. "You're brilliant and I l-like you a lot, but you don't know what you are talking about."

"Fine! Enlighten me!"

"If Kiana is not brought to the Enforcers this whole planet will collapse," he smacks his hand over my mouth, muting me before I can retort. What the hell! I focus my best glare on him, reserved only for those who manage to piss my off beyond caring. "The Enforcers ensure that the Empire stays on the throne. Believe me, it's not just a matter of fate. The Empire must rule the planet, because they have a psychic link with the Enforcers. If the Empire falls, the Enforcers will destroy the planet. Literally. The whole planet will be killed." He leans close to my ear. His warm breath caresses my neck. "It doesn't happen now. Atlantis will be lost again, but not now. Not until many, many years from now. Lily," here his voice breaks. "There is no other option. Not today."

He releases me. I just stare at him. The heartbreak on his face pains me. This goes against everything the Time Lord believes in.

I scratch the back of my neck. "Is that giant blob thing I saw an Enforcer?"

The Doctor nods.

"So we destroy the Enforcers," I say. Sounds obvious to me.

"Lily!" the Doctor grabs my arms, shaking me, though rather lightly. "No on dies today. There is no other option. Kiana and the Empire are the only ones who can control the Enforcers. When the line dies out, so will the planet. For once, everyone can live."

I lift my chin. "Is living in a prison worth such a sacrifice?"

The Doctor backs away from me, misery on his face. Misery, and then, suddenly, terror. He looks beyond me. "Where is Kiana?"

I spin around. The girl is gone. Good. Let her go. She deserves to make her own choices.

I turn to tell the Doctor as such, but he's running out of the open elevator doors. I don't even remember them opening again. I follow him, knowing that it's the only way I can protect Kiana. No one deserves to be forced to do something that they don't want to.

Luckily, the floor is empty and Kiana is easy to spot. I slide to a stop, almost bumping into the Doctor. Kiana's hands are pressed against the glass and she's singing. It's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. It makes me want to weep and laugh. She is completely mesmerizing.

"Three minutes until total power loss," the computer says. I scowl at the ceiling. This is ruining the beautiful music. "Please exit the Palace."

In the water beyond the glass, the blob is floating. But, no, it's not a blob. It looks exactly like a blue whale… well, if a blue whale were the darkest black. More like it's the size of a blue whale.

"It's quite beautiful, isn't it?" Kiana says, gazing at the giant creature.

"Yes." The Doctor takes a step towards the small princess. "Kiana, you do know you have to go back?"

Kiana nods. "Yes, Time Lord." Her head turns from the window and she graces us with a tragically beautiful smile. "I know my place here. I just wish, for one moment, I could travel the stars with you. You can I are not different. You are the last of the Time Lords. I am the last of my line, at least until I have a daughter." Here she wrinkles her dainty nose. "I have to marry. I don't want to."

The Doctor inclines his head. "It won't be so bad," he rocks on his heels. "You'll like him."

I raise an eyebrow. Is the Doctor really giving spoilers?

"I'd rather have Lily." Kiana fixes me with such a bright smile; I start to move towards her. The Doctor grabs my hand, entwining our fingers and pulling me close to him. His other arm presses against my back. My neck cranes to stare at Kiana.

"She's taken."

And that breaks the spell. I stare at the Doctor, shocked. I'm sure I'm going to have to collect my jaw from the floor.

"Pity," Kiana says, pouting. "She belongs to no one. Not yet, anyway."

My lips press into a thin line and my eyes narrow at Kiana. "She is right here."

Kiana smiles again. "Yes, you are." She gives me what I can only describe as a total Captain Jack Harkness look. And now I feel like a piece of meat. Awesome. "I'll try to escape again, you know." All traces of flirtation are gone.

"You'll be the greatest leader in Atlantean history," the Doctor states, as if it's pure fact. Which, coming from him, it probably is. He lets me go, but takes a step in front of me.

"Interesting…" Kiana seems to consider this. She brightens. "I will give my daughter what I could not have. A chance for freedom, if only for a little while."

"Two minutes until total power loss."

I bite my lip. Ok, maybe we should just get out of here. Clearly Kiana is insane. Just like I knew she was when I first saw her.

"Go," Kiana says. "I will leave now."

As if sensing her compliance, the blob, the Enforcer, disappears into the depths of the water. Kiana takes a deep breath and presses her hand to the glass.

The Doctor tugs my hand, dragging me to the elevator.

"Farewell, Doctor and Storyteller." Kiana's voice drifts into the waiting elevator. The Doctor pulls out his sonic and starts working at the door. "I will see you again."

The doors close just as we hear a giant crash.

The elevator zooms up.

"I can't decide if that was anti-climatic or not," I say.

The Doctor shrugs.

"I mean, we didn't really beat the bad guy." Oh, look. A messed up cuticle. Time to pick it. "And was there even a bad guy? And why did I want to protect Kiana so bad, even though there wasn't really anything to protect her from?"

"The slime on her skin," he says, not looking at me. Not that I'm looking at him, either. "It evokes a strong psychic link of protection. That way if Atlanteans lose their young during the first two weeks of the puberty process, nothing bad will happen to them. After the first two weeks, they are able to take care of themselves."

Interesting.

The doors whoosh open.

The Doctor runs out of the elevator, me hot on his heels. We locate the Tardis just where we left her. We enter, and I close the door just as the computer says, "Sixty seconds until total power loss."

I spin around, grinning. "Made it with one minute to spare."

The Doctor is pulling levers. Uh-oh. He does not look like a happy camper.

As the Tardis starts making that awesome sound, I have a sit in the jump seat, legs crossed. The Doctor is supporting his weight on his hands, head hanging down.

Ok, I cannot stand this silence!

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He looks up at me as if he didn't expect me to be there. He doesn't say anything.

I sigh and uncross my legs, leaning forward. "Please talk to me."

He pushes himself off the console and runs a hand through his brown floppy hair. "What's the password again?"

I think a moment. "Um, Keith Moon? And what's with this password system? Isn't easier to keep a journal like you and River?"

He leans against the railing, ankles crossed. "You're the one who came up with it."

"Considering I learned about it from you, I would say not."

He doesn't say anything to that.

"Ok!" I say, jumping out of the chair. I stride to him, trying to look more confident than I feel. "What's with the brooding?"

"I don't brood," he scoffs, head away from me.

I roll my eyes. "Oh sure. And neither does Angel. Puh-lease. You're the Doctor. When you're not running around being a mad man, you're brooding about something that most likely cannot be changed. So dish. Spill the beans. Tell ol' Lily what the problem is." I do a funny little jig to try to get him to laugh. Brooding Doctor is freaking me out.

"I can't tell you, because it hasn't happened to you yet."

Hmm. He might have a point there. "And you haven't died yet, but you know that's going to happen soon." Maybe that's not exactly the route I should have gone, but at least he's looking at me now. With shock, but still. "And I know things that are going to happen that you don't know will happen. So how about we trade? Something we don't know for something the other doesn't know. If that makes sense."

His head tilts. "I'm not trading information about the future with you, Lillian."

"Ok, I'll start," I say, ignoring him. "You're on a trip of the greatest hits and you're saying good-bye to everyone. You're even going to say good-bye to Craig."

"Stop!" He steps close to me. I have to look up to see his face. Not that he's that tall or I'm that short; there's enough of a difference where I need to tilt up a bit. "I don't want to know what happens."

"Yes you so do," I tease. "I can see it in your eyes. You want to know if you're going to survive, even though you shouldn't. It's fixed, am I right?" No response. My hearts beating a bit hard. And by a bit, I mean I think my hearts going to break from my chest. "Well, don't worry so much. I don't know what's going to happen. I was taken away before that episode aired. So I can't tell you anyway, because I don't know."

He's still silent, gazing down at me.

Ok, I don't like this game anymore. My skin is itching from the drying salt. I just want a shower and a new outfit. I'd also like to burn this outfit. I'm tired of being dressed up like River Song.

I take a step back.

He grabs my upper arms.

He drags me close.

Holy. Shit.

Not even a second later, he pushes me away. Far away.

We just stare at each other.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Uhh…"

"That was… I shouldn't have…"

"Uhh…"

I'm shaking. I am literally trembling.

"You should go clean up." He breaks our gaze, focusing instead on the console. He twists a knob. "The Tardis will show you to your room."

I have a room?

I want to ask the question, but my mouth cannot form words. I just spin on one heel and walk away, trusting that this mysterious room will show up.

I press two fingers to my lips.

Ten minutes later, when I'm scrubbing myself down in a gloriously hot shower, my lips are still tingling from where the Doctor kissed me.


	21. 8:  Six Weeks Later  Interlude

**This is just a quick one that's meant to confuse you... and move Lily on to the next episode.  
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**Six Weeks Later**

**Interlude**

I'm doodling on a note pad in a cafe in New York. The cafe is empty, though the giant fireplace roars with fire. Most of the walls are windows. The counter is made of glass and the dessert tray is empty. The trees outside are losing their bright leaves. It's warm in here. It's a monsoon outside.

A bell jingles as the door opens. I look up from my vanilla latte and the pad of paper I'm writing on. A familiar crooked smile greets me. He's wearing a blue pin-stripe suit and his hair is sticky-uppy, just like the last time I saw him.

"Hello, my love," he says, sitting in front of me.

"Oh," I take a sip of my latte. "I forgot about you."

"I noticed." He drops a cube of sugar into the hot cup of tea that appears in front of him. "I must say, I don't blame you. Things must have been quite exciting for you of late."

I reach over the table and run my fingers through his hair. I blink. In a flash, an Ood is standing behind him, holding a bright translating globe. I blink and the Ood is gone. "It's been very Ood… I mean, odd."

"Yes, it is Ood where I am right now." He adds a bit of milk to his tea.

I sit back and put both hands in my lap. "I didn't mean to forget you. It's just… I've been running a lot and there isn't time for quips and shortcomings."

"We're all running." He shrugs. "We're all being chased by the crocodile. Some are just better at pretending we're not."

Somewhere, a clock is ticking.

"Daniel, how long have I been gone?" We're holding hands now.

"Hasn't been a minute," he squeezes my hand. "But you need to come back before they arrive."

I lean forward. "Who?"

But Daniel's gone.

Now I'm in the cave. That cave Michael and I spent so much time in over those three-years-in-one-year.

A hand grips my shoulder. I cover that hand with my own, staring at the one lamp with its flickering flame.

"Now you I could never forget," I whisper.

Michael's voice sends electricity soaring through my body. "Neither could I."

"But you did." Tears fall. I wipe them from my cheeks. I hold my hand up. My fingers are covered in congealed blood.

"Did I?"

I wipe the blood on my pants and taste raspberry. I hate raspberry. "The leaves are falling and you're still playing grasshopper."

Michael squeezes my shoulder. "You're doing fine without me."

I choke. "I'd be better with you."

"I'm not what you need right now."

Tick, tock.

"What do I need?" My lips don't move, but the words are said out loud.

"Turn around."

I turn.

The Doctor straightens his bow tie and grins at me. "We're going run circles around the stars."

I don't know if I'm awake before I gasp or if I gasped while I was asleep. Either way, I'm awake now.

I sit up, pushing the warm fuzzy blanket off of me. Sweat soaks into my gray pajama pants and black tank top. I roll out of bed (and I do mean that literally—it's a big bed) and trudge to the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm wrapped in a big fluffy towel, dripping water as I stand in front of my closet. I have to say, the best part about being in the Tardis (besides, you know, traveling through time and space) is that I don't have to fold anything or put anything away. She does that for me. Heck, I don't even have to decide on what to wear. I just open the closet door and, poof, instant outfit. This is totally the life.

Today, the Tardis has chosen dark jeans, a gray V-neck tee shirt, and a black zipper sweatshirt with a big collar, but no hood. I tie on a pair of hiking boots. I've found those to be the best footwear while traveling with the Doctor. My big toe on my left foot still hurts where I stubbed it when I stupidly wore sandals one day.

My mind drifts to my dream. It's the first dream I remember having since I came here. I miss Daniel. My heart pains for Michael.

I don't even know what to think of the Doctor anymore.

These past six weeks, he's my best friend one moment and the next he's an angst-ridden mess who refuses to even speak to me, never mind look at me. When he's the latter, I tend to just walk away and explore the Tardis. Or read a book. Seriously, the library is the greatest room in the entire universe.

I miss home.

I miss Ricky and Alexis and even Julie. I miss their voices and their laughter. Hell, I almost miss my job. Don't get me wrong, I love traveling. I love seeing different planets and times. And the running… I never thought I'd say this, but I actually love running. Who'd have thought?

But… well, I'm lonely. It's just the Doctor and I. At the end of the adventure, it's just him and I and that constantly appearing awkwardness. I hate that awkwardness.

Sighing, I leave my room. Might as well see what the Doctor is up to and how much awkwardness I'm going to face today. It's better than being alone, I guess.

Sometimes.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" The Doctor jumps up from under the Tardis. His tweed jacket is flung over a railing, so he's just in his shirt, bow tie, and braces. Wait, no, not braces. Suspenders. I'm American, not English/Time Lord.

I grunt in response. I hate people who are chipper in the morning.

"So, Charlie Chaplin!" He claps his hands together, grinning.

I wipe my eyes, yawning. "What about him?"

"I haven't seen him in a while, old Charlie. I was thinking we could pop over and say hello."

I smile. Yeah, time travel rules. "Can I have breakfast first?"

"Already done!" the Doctor spins on a heel, disappears behind the console, and pops back up with the greatest site I have ever seen. That brown paper bag with the orange and pink logo makes my mouth water. "Ham, egg, and cheese on a croissant and a medium iced pumpkin spice latte, whole milk, no whipped cream." He hands me the drink first. I swirl the ice then take a deep chug. Sighing in ecstasy, I place the drink on the floor and grab the bag from him. Lily runs on Dunkin.

"You, sir, are a god," I say, opening the bag to dig out the delicious breakfast sandwich.

"No. Well, maybe a little." He winks in a dramatic gesture.

I finish the sandwich in less than five minutes. During that time, the Doctor is entering coordinates into the console.

I'm sipping down the last of my drink, intending to annoy the Doctor with my slurping, when I feel it. That feeling I haven't felt in weeks. I drop the cup at the suddenness of it.

My wrist is starting to burn.

"I guess I'm not going to see Charlie Chaplin after all," I say.

The Doctor's head snaps up. "Why?"

I give him a sad little smile. "It's apparently time for me to go."

He rushes to my side, face contorted with worry. "Lily." He reaches out to me.

But it's too late.

"Bye," I whisper as the electricity takes me away.

I land in a cave. Not my cave. Someplace very large, very different, and very, very warm.

Oh, and, did I mention, there is a huge beast chained at the wrists. Roaring.

I think I'm going to throw up now.


	22. 9:  The Satan Pit

**Ok, I will admit, this may look like a pointless chapter, but there are a few pieces of information that are important and I wanted to try something a little different. Yes, I hate basically transcribing an episode, but stick with it. There is more of a point than I am leading you to believe. And it might answer a few questions that a few of you have been asking me.  
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**The Satan Pit**

Remember when the Master kidnapped me? Remember when I traveled the Earth at its most dangerous? Remember when I fell into this universe and had no clue what was happening?

Those times of fear don't even begin to compare to the pure and utter terror I am feeling right now.

I don't even want to describe It. I don't even want to look at It. But I can't take my eyes away. It opens Its magnificent maw and roars. My skin singes.

At some point, I had fallen to my knees. I lean back, crab walking away from the red Beast.

This isn't fair. This isn't right. Is this hell? Was that whole time with and without the Doctor just a dream? Was I in a coma and now I'm dead?

No.

No, wait. Just… wait!

Focus, Lillian. You're not alone with the Beast. In fact, you know what the Beast is.

But most importantly: You. Are. Not. Alone.

"Have I got to... I dunno, beg an audience?" There is a man in an orange suit, standing between two short columns with golden vases perched on top. A familiar man. I know that voice. I know that hair... "Or… is there a ritual? Some sort of incantation or summons or spell - all these things I don't believe in - are they real?" He waits, impatient. "Speak to me! Tell me!"

I've seen this before. I know I have. From a different angle, maybe, but I've seen this. This is so… familiar. Why?

"You won't talk," the familiar man continues. "Or… you CAN'Ttalk. Hold on, hold on. Wait a minute, just let me…"

Pause.

I know this voice… how do I know this voice?

"Oh! No. Yes! No... think it through, you SPOKE before. I heard your voice. An intelligent voice. No, more than that - brilliant! But, looking at you now... all I can see…"

The Beast growls.

"Is…"

It growls, sticking out its long tongue. I strangle a cry. It hasn't looked at me yet. I don't want it to look at me.

"Beast. The animal. Just... the body. You're just the body, the physical form! What's happened to your mind? Hmm?" His head cocks to the side and he whispers, "Where's it gone? Where's that intelligence?" The man glances at the sky._ "_Oh, no…"

The man in orange turns slightly to his left. I edge back. If he sees me, he might draw attention to me. I don't want It to notice me.

The man shines a flashlight at the walls. I follow the beams. The walls of the cavern are covered in primitive drawings of a red beast. The Beast.

"You're imprisoned. Long time ago. Before the universe, after, sideways, in-between, doesn't matter. The positioning is PERFECT_. _It's absolutely- it's eternal. Oh, YES! Open the prison - the gravity field collapses! This planet falls into the black hole! You escape, you die. BRILLIANT! But that's just the body. The body is trapped, that's all. The devil is just an idea. In all those civilizations - just an idea."

He edges back towards the beast.

"But an idea is hard to kill. An idea could escape. The mind - the mind of the great Beast - the mind can escape! Oh, but that's it! You didn't give me air - your jailers did! They set this up! All those years ago! They need me alive. Because if you're escaping, then I've gotta stop you."

The Beast roars, jerking forward on his chains. The room quakes from the sound.

I bite my knuckles, trying to stay quiet.

The man turns, scooping down to pick up a rock.

I know that face. I know him!

It's the Doctor! How can I forget the Doctor?

"If I destroy your prison, your body is destroyed. Your mind with it."

He swings the rock over his head. He starts to bring it down on the vase. Then he stops and the rock tumbles from his grip.

No! You have to do it!

The words almost come out, but I stop them just in time. But I'm standing now. There's nothing to be afraid of now. The Doctor is in.

"But then you're clever enough to use this whole system against me. If I destroy this planet, I destroy the gravity field. The rocket. The rocket loses protection and falls into the black hole. I'll have to sacrifice Rose."

The Beast laughs. Three terrifying laughs.

Rose. The Doctor. The Beast.

The fog is lifting. My terror decreases. It doesn't go away. Oh, it is very much still here. But I know this episode. This is "The Satan Pit."

Keep silent for once in your life, Lily. Let him figure it out on his own. You know he has to. The timing has to be just right, otherwise things could go very, very wrong.

"So, that's the trap. Or the test or the final judgment, I don't know. But if I kill you, I kill her."

The Beast laughs again, head in the air. Then he leans forward and roars.

I press my back against the rocky wall. I know the Tardis is here somewhere. Maybe I can get to it?

Oh, but wait, even if I did, I couldn't get in. I don't have a key.

The Doctor clasps his hands behind his back and saunters towards the Beast. "Except that implies - in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils - that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods - out of all that - out of that whole pantheon - if I believe in one thing... just one thing…" He pauses for effect. "I believe in HER."

He darts back to the rock and lifts it over his head. Without hesitation, he smashes the vase. Then he spins and smashes the other one.

The planet is shaking. I brace against the wall.

"This is your freedom! Free to 're going into that black hole and I'm riding with you."

The Beast goes crazy, struggling, roaring, breathing fire, becoming fire. Rocks smash to the ground.

The Doctor stumbles back, watching the Beast for a moment.

It's bursting into flame now.

The Doctor is taking too long.

Taking three deep breaths, I propel myself off the wall, dodging falling rocks.

"Doctor!" I scream, straining my throat.

He turns, arms wide, staring at me in disbelief. I stumble over a rock, catching my footing before I can fall. I reach the now shocked Doctor and grab his hand.

"We have to go!"

"What?" His expressive eyebrows dip in confusion. "How? What?"

Disbelief… and a touch of…well, more than a touch of…actually, a pretty sizeable lack of… recognition.

Oh god. Is this the first time the Doctor meets me?

I tug his hand and he follows. "I'll explain later! Just… run!"

We run.

He quickly takes the lead, pulling me through a dark tunnel. As we round a corner, we're knocked back by a giant gust of air. We crash next to each other against something hard. Something, I realize, looking up at what I assumed was a wall, blue.

The Tardis.

The Doctor laughs, relieved and delighted.

He pops up, offering me a hand. I take it and he pulls me to a standing position.

"I'll ask you how you got here later." He opens the door to the Tardis and rushes inside. I follow him, happy to close the door on the dying planet.

I turn, blinking. Right, different control room. The coral one with the weird column thingies. Something to adjust to.

"Right!" he shouts, pushing up a lever. "Quick stop, then off the save Rose."

He sets course and the familiar wheezing soothes me.

I should have expected this. I knew logically that someday I was going to meet him and he wouldn't know who I am. Just… after the past six weeks running with future Doctor, I didn't think this would be the first time.

The Tardis stops and the Doctor runs past me through the door.

Should I follow?

I take the more submissive route and stay in the Tardis. I walk up to the console, running my fingers over it, feeling that familiar tickling buzz. I smile.

"Hey, old girl," I whisper. "At least you remember me."

The Tardis chirps, trying to soothe me.

The door crashes open. I turn. The Doctor's carrying someone who is also wearing an orange suit. Oh, right. I don't remember her name, but I remember that the Doctor went down that hole with her.

The Doctor kicks the door closed as he enters. He places the woman on the floor, sitting her up to rest against a column.

"Now," he says, wasting no time in setting the controls again. "Let's go save a few humans, shall we, Lillian?"

He looks up at me and winks.

"Oh," I gasp. Yup, I'm relieved now. "You do know who I am."

"Forgot for a minute," he says. The Tardis starts wheezing again. He's running around the console frantically. "Sorry about that. Didn't expect anyone to be in that cave with me." He flashes me a smile and we're off. I grip the side of the console, trying to steady myself. "Haven't seen you in a while." He smacks on the Tardis with a mallet. "How've you been?"

"Oh, you know," I say. "Lots of… running. So when was the last time you saw me then?"

He fiddles with some buttons. "I'd tell you, Lily, but you told me not to. I believe your exact words were, 'Spoilers.'"

Well, doesn't that just figure?

A bell dings and he lifts his arms in celebration. "And we've got them!" He pressed some more buttons, "Sorry about the hijack, Captain. This is the good ship TARDIS. Now, first thing's first - have you got a Rose Tyler on board?"

Her voice projects from who knows where. "I'm here! It's me! Oh, my God!" She laughs, giddy. The Doctor's smile… I've never seen him smile like that before. Not this Doctor or the next. "Where are you?" Rose asks.

He saunters around the console, peacocking. "I'm just towing you home. Gravity-schmavity. My people practically invented black holes. Well - in fact, they did." He pulls a lever. "In a couple of minutes, we'll be nice and safe. Oh, and captain - can we do a swap? Say, if you give me Rose Tyler - I'll give you Ida Scott? How about that?"

"She's alive!" a male voice exclaims.

"YES! Thank God," says another.

"Yeah! Bit of oxygen starvation, but she should be all right." He pauses and becomes somber. "I couldn't save the Ood. I only had time for one trip. They went down with the planet." A computer bleeps. "Ah! Entering clear space - end of the line - mission closed." He presses a couple buttons and pulls another lever.

Minutes later, the swap is complete. The Tardis door opens and Rose rushes in. The Doctor smiles. They run to each other and she jumps into his arms. He holds her in the air, swinging her back and forth. They're both giggling.

I turn my eyes away.

Why am I here?

"Who's that?" Rose says.

I turn back. Rose has both feet on the ground again and they are both looking at me. Well… don't I feel like a third wheel?

"Rose, this is Lily," he says, taking her hand, leading her towards me. "Lily, this is Rose. Oh, you're both flowers. That's clever."

I give the Doctor a strange look, mirroring Rose. We smile and shake hands.

"Lily just popped in to say hello," he says, undoing the orange suit, revealing his brown suit.

"You just popped in to the Tardis?" Rose asks. Her dark eyebrows furrow in confusion.

I open my mouth to answer, but the Doctor beats me to it. "Well, she popped into the cave and we ran to the Tardis, but otherwise… yeah."

I watch the Doctor toss the orange suit aside. "I didn't pop in to say hello." I play with the zipper of my jacket. "I popped in because I was forced to."

"Right, I never got a chance to ask you about that," he says, arms folded. "How?"

I shrug. "All I know is that I was somehow cursed with a malfunctioning vortex manipulator and it keeps dragging me places." No, it keeps dragging me to the Doctor (except for that one time it was the Master, but that lead to the Doctor). "Oh wait. Doctor, what's the password?"

He thinks for a moment, gazing at a screen on the console. "Banana."

"Ok, early for both of us then." But I reconsider. "I know more than you, though. That's new."

"Zach?" The Doctor says suddenly. Fine, interrupt the moment. Whatever. "We'll be off, now. Have a good trip home. And the next time you get curious about something- oh... what's the point? You'll just go blundering in. The human race…"

I take a few steps back, letting Rose and the Doctor have a moment. I don't like coming in at the tail end of an adventure. Takes all the fun out.

And I don't think I like being here with Rose. I haven't had to share the Doctor in a while… well, actually, not since the hospital went to the moon. I miss it just being him and I. I even miss that stupid bow tie.

I inspect the control room, running my fingers over the walls. I want to get a feel for it. I like the old one better. No, wait, I like the new one better. This whole time travel thing makes past tense and future tense hard.

A few moments later, when they've said good-bye to the people they've just been with, the Doctor calls out my name

I poke my head from behind a column. "Yes?"

"What's new?" he asks.

It takes me a second to figure that one out. Wait, nope, don't get it. "Huh?"

"You said it's early for both of us and you know more than me."

Whoops. Big mouth. "Don't worry about it," I say.

He gives me a dark look. I just shrug.

"How did you two meet?" Rose seems like she's actually interested.

"Ha!" The Doctor and I laugh simultaneously. "Spoilers." We lock eyes and start laughing.

"Right then," Rose says, contrite.

"Oh, I'm not a past companion," I lean against the console, facing Rose. "I'm more of a future one. His future."

She nods, concerned. "So… am I there?" She gazes at me with puppy dog eyes.

Ah crap.

"I can't tell you anything." I lean closer to her. "It could change things. Sorry." I notice the Doctor watching us, grave. "All I can say is that I know him in the future. And apparently a bit of the past, since he knows who I am." Here I address him directly.

"Can't break the rules," the Doctor agrees.

Damn.

Well, wait, I can figure this one out myself. If Rose doesn't know me, then that means this is the first time he's met me in this regeneration. Which means I know him from a previous regeneration.

Ok, that's gonna make my head spin for a while.

I smile. The Doctor and I lock eyes again. I grin at him, eyebrows raised. He just shakes his head, though he is smirking a bit.

I think he knows I've figured it out. Kinda.

"So, who's hungry!" the Doctor says. The Tardis stops wheezing, though it doesn't feel like we've landed. I wasn't jerked from my feet or anything, so we must be in the time vortex. "I don't know about you, but I could use a little R&R for a bit."

Ugh. Sounds boring. From one trip in the vortex to another.

Then again… my nerves are a little frazzled from the Beast.

"I'll fix some tea," Rose offers, heading out of the control room, assumedly to the kitchen.

The Doctor and I stay in the control room.

"She's nice," I say.

"Yeah." He stares at the doorway she just exited through.

I bite my lip. "You can drop me off someplace if you want," I say, cleaning my nails. I should really cut them. "I can understand if you don't want me around, since I just dropped in out of the blue and you don't really know who I am."

"No, it's fine. The more the merrier, I always say. Well…" His head tilts and he regards the ceiling. "Not always… and it depends on who constitutes as the 'more,' I suppose."

Nodding, I undo my hair tie. Then immediately put my hair back into a ponytail. "I'll probably leave soon anyway. Or maybe not. This whole malfunctioning thing is pretty, you know, sporadic and random."

"Can I ask you one question?" He pins me with those serious big brown eyes and I just want to melt. "Who are you to me?"

My heart jumps.

"I don't know," I say, shrugging. "I've been trying to figure that out myself." I swallow. "Can I ask a question as well?"

"Doesn't mean I can answer."

"I know, but I need to ask at least." I take a breath. "I get that I haven't met you in this regeneration. If I did, Rose would know me too." His face gives away nothing. He waits, patient. "How far back do I go?"

He at least takes a moment to consider. "I met you in the regeneration before this one. How far ahead do you go?"

I smile. "I thought you don't like knowing your future."

"I don't, but that's harmless. Let's me ready myself for seeing you again," he teases.

Well, he told me something I've been wondering. Tit for tat. God, that is a horrible phrase. I am never thinking that again. "As far as I know right now? The next regeneration."

He nods. "Right. Bound to happen. Someday. Not now, though… right?"

"Not for a good while yet," I confirm.

"Good. I like this regeneration." He beams. "Now that that's settled, let's go see what Rose has put together, shall we?" He holds out his hand.

I start to take his, then jump back.

"Ok, I guess I'm leaving sooner than I thought." I stare at my burning wrist. "Better that way, though. I'm third wheel here. Or, what do you Brits call it? Gooseberry or something?"

But before that sentence even ends, I'm whisked away to the unknown.


	23. 10:  42 Part One

**Ok, so, I'm going to a Halloween party this weekend and I'm dressing up as River Song. In the same outfit Lily wore. If only I had a toy vortex manipulator that ended up being real and brought me to the Doctor. *sigh***

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**42**

**Part One**

"Hello then!"

I open my eyes to the 10th Doctor's smiling face. I didn't even realize that I closed my eyes that time. Nor did I realize that I landed on my back. I thought I was getting better at this whole landing thing. Guess not.

The Doctor offers me a hand. I take it and he helps me back to my feet. He's wearing the blue suit, only without a tie. The top two buttons of his maroon shirt are undone, revealing a dark tee shirt underneath.

"Password?" we ask at the same time. "Banana," we reply in unison. Then we laugh.

"What's so funny?" Martha, wearing a bright red tank top under a black sweater, enters the console room. "How did she get here?" She crosses her arms, accusatory.

My cheeks blush in a flash of guilt. I can't help it. Every time I think about Martha, I remember the Year The Never Was. And I remember I'm the reason Martha died. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that one. Even if it meant I got to meet Michael…

But none of that matters. Not anymore. Not… ever again.

"I told you Lily drops in from time to time, didn't I?" the Doctor scratches his head. "I thought I did."

Martha shakes her head. "You just said that you don't meet in the right order. Not that she drops out of the sky unexpected."

I hold up my left wrist. "Actually, I'm beamed around with this vortex manipulator." Her face is blank. "It's a time and space travel device. Like a Tardis only… not."

The Doctor scoffs. "Nothing like a Tardis. It's like I've got a sports car and you've got a space hopper."

I shrug. "Whatever. It's not like I asked for this."

The Doctor raises an eyebrow. "And by that you mean…?"

Ah crap. I should really just stop speaking.

"So! Where've you been and where are we going?" I am really good at changing the subject, aren't I?

The Doctor gives me a long look, then grins. "We come by way of London. We're going… well, I haven't decided that yet, have I?" He starts punching coordinates into the console.

Martha steps forward. "So she's coming along? Just like that?"

"Yup." He pops the 'p.' "Just like that." Is that a note of irritation in his voice? Then again, the Doctor doesn't like when people question him. Well, yeah, he does, actually, but in this case… whatever, I know what I mean.

And, ok, all that fan fiction was right. Martha does act like a jealous girlfriend. Time to nip that one in the bud. I'd rather be friends with her before I get her killed than enemies. Maybe some of this guilt will go away then.

I walk over to her, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. "Look, it's not what you're thinking," I say in a soft, low voice.

"And what am I thinking?" Pure ice. I think her eyes are trying to exterminate me.

I consider what she said. "Ok, I have no idea, actually. But, look, just… hear me out." I take a breath, trying to sort my thoughts. "This vortex manipulator? It's faulty or something. I keep getting thrown into different… situations." I almost said episodes. You'd think after all this time, I wouldn't come close to making that slip anymore. "Most of the time, I land someplace where bad things are happening. The only constant is that the Doctor is there. There's nothing going on with us." Kinda. "Not romantically, anyway." Except for that time he kissed me, but that was way in the future, so it technically doesn't count and I like to repress that, because it's just too weird. Way too weird. "We're just friends and he lets me tag along as a pseudo-companion. Like… the assistant to the companion. Or something. I promise not to step on your toes. I'm just along for the ride." I end with a shrug.

My stomach knots, suddenly lonely. Running is fun, but I'd like a bit more consistency. Just when I thought I was getting it, I was ripped away again and thrown into hell. Almost literally.

"Right," she says, softening. "Sorry. He just doesn't tell me much."

I snort. "Oh, trust me. He doesn't tell anyone much."

Her head tilts. "How long has this been happening to you?"

I bite my lip. "Oh, three years or so."

Her eye widen. "Three years?"

"Yeah. I mean, not all of it has been spent with the Doctor. Actually, most of it hasn't been…" Do not think of Michael. "But anytime this thing," here I shake my left wrist, "takes me someplace, I end up with the Doctor." Except that one time. That one very bad time.

"There are worse people to land with."

Keep your face blank. "You have no idea."

"He's brilliant. Even if I don't understand half of what he says most of the time." Her smile is less forced and almost genuine now.

"God, that's more than me!" I lean in and stage whisper, "I think he likes hearing himself talk more than any politician on the planet."

She giggles. "More than any politician on any planet."

"Touché."

"Oi!" the Doctor calls. "What are you two biddies giggling about?"

I turn to him. "Just about how wonderful you are!"

He perks up. "Well, that's alright then." He goes back to whatever it is he was doing to the console.

Martha and I burst out laughing, leaning against each other for support.

"Why do they always do that when they meet?" the Doctor asks the ceiling.

"Because no one can understand you like we do, Doctor," Martha answers.

"Right. That's it. Do I have to separate you two?"

Martha and I fall in step with each other, walking back to the Doctor.

"It's nice having someone else to talk to," she admits. "I haven't spoken to my family in ages."

The Doctor's eyebrows raise. "Oh, right. Been meaning to do that. Martha, hand me your mobile." He pulls his sonic screwdriver out of his inner coat pocket. Right, the silver and blue one. I almost forgot about that. He sets it to some setting and, now holding Martha's phone, starts to sonic the cell phone. A few seconds later, he tosses it back, "There we go! Universal Roaming. Never have to worry about a signal again."

Martha stares at the phone in shock. "No way! But it's... too mad! You're telling me I can call anyone, anywhere in Space and Time on my mobile?"

"Long as you know the area code." Martha stares at the Doctor, eyes wide with shock. He smiles. "Frequent Fliers' privilege." Her face lights up. The Doctor continues, "Go on. Try it."

Before she can even start to dial, the Tardis lurches. I stumble, catching myself on a railing before I can fall flat on my face. I use the railing to get back on my feet. It's still a little bumpy, but not as bad.

The Doctor cries out, "Distress signal! Locking on! Might be a bit of…"

The Tardis jolts again. I almost fly head first over the railing this time. I push myself away from it and smack my butt into the console. Ow.

"Turbulence," the Doctor finishes. "Sorry!" He doesn't waste time. He runs right to the door. I rub my butt, trying to get the feeling back. Martha just glares at him, trying to get her balance back. "Come on Martha! Lily! Let's take a look!"

Martha and I grin at each other and run after him, Martha just a bit ahead of me.

The Doctor sticks his head out of the door. "Whoa! Now that is hot!" He exits the Tardis, Martha close behind.

"Whoa!" she echoes. "It's like a sauna in here." She takes off her black sweater and tosses it back into the Tardis. It almost hits me in the face. Gee, thanks.

I take a step outside the Tardis. "Hmmm…"

This room is familiar.

Ok, that's an obvious thought. Sure, it's been a few weeks, but usually when I land somewhere with the Doctor, the room we see is bound to be familiar for me.

More than that, however, the room is hot. Like walking in pure humidity hot. It's also glowing orange, which is never a good sign. It might be some sort of engine room, judging by the giant… engine-y like things everywhere.

The Doctor is kneeling, rummaging through some spacey looking equipment. "Venting systems. Working at full pelt. Trying to cool down…Uh, where-ever it is we are." He straightens, turning to us with a manic grin. "Well! If you can't stand the heat…" He pushes open a heavy-looking door, peaking through before walking out. "Well, that's better…"

Martha follows him out. I follow a bit more slow, staring at the sign above the door. Area 30, it says.

Nope, still have no idea where I am.

"Oi! You three!" A man's voice.

I turn. Three sweaty people, two men and a woman, to be exact, are running towards us. The woman's light brown hair is loose, plastered to her moist skin. One of the men has shaggy brown hair and must be insane, because he's wearing a dark sweater.

The female bellows, "Get out of there!"

The man who spoke before points at the door. "Seal that door! Now!"

I step out of their way as the two men nearly shove me aside to close the door.

"Who are you?" the female demands. "What are you doing on my ship?"

"Are you police?" This man is the younger of the two, though they both have dark hair and dark sweaters.

The Doctor's head is bopping around, glancing in confusion. "Why would we be police?"

"We got your distress signal," Martha says.

"If this is a ship, why can't I hear any engines?" The Doctor locks eyes with me. I shrug.

The female answers, hands on her hips. "It went dead four minutes ago.

The man with the shaggy hair and pointier chin walks backwards, skittish. "So maybe we should stop chatting and get to engineering. Captain."

Oh, so the female is the Captain. Ok, I know I've seen her before. When the heck am I?

A loud buzzer goes off, causing me to jump back and stare at the ceiling.

"Secure closure active." A female computer voice says over the com.

You know, I'm really starting to hate computers.

"What?" The captain's head whips around.

"The ship's gone mad," Pointy Chin says.

I stare in disbelief as another figure runs down the hall, doors closing behind her. She jumps over the stupidly high door jam.

"Who activated secure closure? I nearly got locked in to area 27." She has dark brown hair that's swept up and bangs. And also a small gap between her two front teeth. Her face reminds me of a pug for some reason. She's taken aback by our appearance. "Who are you?"

Martha answers, walking zombie-like towards the door that just slammed shut. "He's the Doctor and I'm Martha. Hello."

No intro for me, then? And I thought we were buddies now.

"I'm Lily," I say. "What's going on?" I'm so confused right now…

The computer interrupts before anyone answers. "Impact projection: 42 minutes."

Impact? I really don't like the sound of that! Not at all!

The captain is out of breath, but assuring. "We'll get out of this. I promise."

"Doctor," Martha calls, standing in front of some sort of glowing hole in the wall.

Oh no. Oh wait. Wait. No…

I know my eyes are wide and terrified as I run to where Martha is standing. I stare out. Oh this is bad. This is very bad.

"Forty-two minutes 'til what?" the Doctor says, ignoring Martha apparently.

"Doctor!" I shout, holding onto the lip of the outside of what is actually a window. "Look!"

A sun. A giant, burning sun, so impossible close. We're spinning in the air, getting closer. Too close.

I step away so the Doctor can look out the window. He eyes widen.

The captain says, way too steady for my liking, "Forty – two minutes until we crash into the sun."


	24. 10:  42 Part Two

**1) I'm sorry for not updating for a while. There was a huge freak snow storm around Halloween and we lost power for half a week, then didn't have internet for another four days.**

**2) I wrote myself into a corner with chapter 10. I'm not exactly enjoying it and I just want to move on, but I can't right now, because I'm in the middle of an episode.**

**3) Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! Without you, I would not have forced myself to write this section.  
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**42**

**Part Two**

Well… didn't see that coming.

I fling myself away from the window, just as the Doctor does the same. He grabs the captain's arm and starts drilling her and the crew.

Me? I take many steps away from the action and try to re-group. What do I remember from this? Honestly? Not a lot. It's a bit hazy. But you gotta figure, it's been like three years since I've been able to watch any of the episodes and it's not like I can google anything about them either.

I just remember something about the sun driving people crazy. I glance out the window, then close my eyes. Maybe I shouldn't look…

"What's he doing?" one of the crewmembers shouts.

I open my eyes in time to see the Doctor open the door to the room with the Tardis. Oh, this is bad.

"No don't!" the captain shouts.

The Doctor flies away from the door from the force of the extreme orange heat radiating from the room. I gasp, running to him, almost knocking into Martha doing the same. We haul him up by his arms.

The woman who had recently joined us, thusly called Gap Tooth until I remember or learn their names, whichever comes first, closes the door. She's wearing some sort of heat shield helmet… thing.

"But my ship's in there!" the Doctor cries.

"In the vent chamber?" one of the male crewmembers now dubbed Pointy Chin asks.

"It's our lifeboat!" the Doctor answers.

"It's lava," Other Guy responds.

The woman who closed the door reads something "The temperature's going mad in there! Up 3000 degrees in ten seconds, and still rising."

Pointy Chin says, "Channeling the air. The closer we get to the sun, the hotter that room's gonna get."

Martha's eyes bulge impossibly wide. "We're stuck here," she says, with a bit of anger and contempt.

"So?" the Doctor's looking around, a bit panicked, but always thinking. "We fix the engines, we steer the ship away from the Sun! Simple! Engineering down here, is it?"

"Yes," Captain says, out of breath even as the Doctor starts running again. He turns down a corridor. The rest of us follow him single file down a set of stairs.

"Impact in 40.26," says the computer.

Yup, seriously hating computers.

"I'm Lily," I hold a hand out to Pointy Chin.

He looks at it in almost disgust. What? I don't want to call him Pointy Chin anymore. "Riley," he says, using the handrails to slide down the stairs.

Riley is Pointy Chin. Got it. Time to play the name game.

"Blimey! Do you always leave things in such a mess?" The Doctor's voice goes up an octave.

The Captain is awed. "Oh my god…"

Other Guy says, "What the hell happened?"

I duck my head to keep from hitting a beam in the ceiling. Then my jaw drops. Not that I can tell what's supposed to be plugged in where, but there's a giant mass of wires and steel where an engine should be. At least I assume it's the engine, since everyone was looking for the engine room. Springs scatter the floor. Everything is steaming.

I'm telling you, my pores have never been so open.

"Oh, it's wrecked," Riley says.

The Doctor, of course, takes charge. "Pretty efficiently too. Someone knew what they were doing."

I follow him to some sort of red screen. You know, for the future, you'd think even an engine room thingy would have better graphics.

The Captain wanders behind us, looking for something. I assume. "Where's Korwin? Has anyone heard from him or Ashton?"

"No," replies Other Guy.

The Doctor pulls out his brainy specs—you know, the black framed glasses? He gives me a serious look as he puts them on. I'm almost tempted to tease him for not needing them, but this doesn't seem to be the time.

"You mean someone did this on purpose?" Martha asks.

I glance over my shoulder as the Captain presses a button on what I assume is an intercom. "Korwin? Ashton? Where are you?" Nothing. "Korwin, can you answer?" I look up at the Doctor and his serious face. He's typing something onto the screen. The Captain continues. "Where the hell is he? He should be up here!"

The Doctor smiles. "Oh! We're in the Torajji system! Lovely! You're a long way from home, Martha. You too, Lily. Half a universe away." He spins away from the terminal.

I snort. He has no idea…

Martha just retorts with sarcasm. "Yeah. Feels it."

I lean against the terminal as the Doctor goes up to the Captain. "And, you're still using energy scoops for fusion? Hasn't that been outlawed yet?"

If it weren't for the steam, I bet we could hear crickets. Now I almost feel like I'm in _Firefly_. That would be awesome, actually. I love Mal and Wash and Kaylee and River and… well, I guess I love them all.

Wait. No. I wouldn't want to be in _Firefly_. I'll take the Doctor, thank you. Less likely Joss Whedon will kill me off.

The Captain is obviously a bit guilty. "We're due to upgrade next docking." And away she goes, giving orders. "Scannell, engine report."

Other Guy goes to the same terminal the Doctor and I were at before. The Doctor crosses his arms. I lean over to him as Scannell, the one with the shaggy hair, starts pressing buttons.

Over the sound of not-good-sounding beeps, I whisper to the Doctor. "What are you thinking?"

His eyes flick over to me. He shakes his head, a small movement I would have missed if I hadn't been watching him intently.

"No response," Scannell confirms, shoving away from the terminal to pick at the engine.

"What?" the Captain exclaims.

He fiddles with some wires. "They're burnt out. The controls are wrecked. I can't get them back online."

The Doctor swipes his glasses off his face in a dramatic gesture. "Oh come on! Auxiliary engines! Every craft's got auxiliaries!"

"We don't have access from here," the Captain explains. "The auxiliary controls are in the front of the ship."

Scannell scoffs. "Yeah, with 29 password sealed doors between us and them. You'll never get there in time."

I roll my eyes. If I remember correctly, that won't matter. Or maybe they do get there in time? Either way, the day is saved. Let me tell you, I have not missed being a part of an episode that I remember. This makes this really awkward and hard on me.

Martha is clearly getting upset. "Can't you override the doors?"

Scannell shakes his head. "No. Sealed closure means what it says. They're all dead-lock sealed."

"Welp, there goes the sonic screwdriver," I sigh. "You should really get that looked at. A lot of problems could be solved much easier if the sonic could do something with dead-locks."

"Oi," the Doctor's eyebrows nearly go up in his hair. "Don't diss the sonic. It's normally very useful."

"Nothing's any use," Scannell interrupts. "We've got no engines, no time, and no chance."

The Doctor stomps around a little bit. "Oh listen to you! Defeated before you've even started! Where's your Dunkirk spirit?" He turns to the Captain._ "_Who's got the door passwords?"

Riley steps forward. "They're randomly generated. Reckon I know most of 'em. Sorry. Riley Vashti." He holds up a hand.

The Doctor is impressed. "Then what're you waiting for Riley Vashti, get on it."

"Well, it's a two-person , it takes to answer the questions, and the other to carry this." He fetches some sort of big clamp thing and a giant backpack. "The oldest and cheapest security system around, eh captain?" Ooh, look at that little dig!

The Captain crosses her arms. "Reliable and simple, just like you, eh Riley?"

"Try and be helpful, get abuse. Nice!" Ok, I like him. He has a personality.

Martha takes the giant clamp thing out of his hands. "I'll help you. Make myself useful." She gives me a pointed look. Great, I thought we were friends now. What happened to that?

"It's remotely controlled by computer panel. That's why it needs two." Riley turns away, exiting the room from where we entered.

Martha follows him.

"Oi," the Doctor says. Martha turns back. "Be careful."

She smiles. It's a tad too lovesick to be honest. "You too." She turns again and walks away.

I'm about to make a comment when a voice speaks. It sounds like it's from a radio or something. "McDonnell? It's Ashton."

The Captain runs back to the intercom. "Where are you? Is Korwin with you?"

"Get up to the med-center. Now!"

The Captain, McDonnell, darts away. The Doctor and I are close on her heels.

"Doctor," I say, speeding up to run along side him. "This is bad. This is really bad."

He keeps running. "Well, we're here to fix it."

"I know," I say. "I'm just worried I'm gonna do something stupid to ruin everything."

You know the best part about all that running with the Doctor? I can actually have a conversation now without gasping for breath. It's nice.

Eyebrows furrowed, he gives me a strange look. "Don't be ridiculous. You're brilliant."

I snort, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, but…" I stop, realizing something. He doesn't know about me. I paste on an apologetic smile. "Never mind. You're right. We'll be fine."

"Impact in 34.31."

Seriously. I hate computer voices.

McDonnell charges into a doorway with plastic strips for a door. Hot on the Doctor's heels, I follow, stopping short once I enter the room. A man with dark hair is laying on what looks like a giant MRI machine that's been painted red. He's struggling against the older bald man and youngish black woman in red scrubs who are trying to hold him down. They are trying to push him down by placing their hands on his chest and legs.

McDonnell runs to their side. "Korwin! What's happened? Is he OK?" Korwin, the man on the MRI thing, continues struggling.

Korwin cries out. "Oh God! Help me! It's burning me!"

Burning me. Burning… Burning! I stop near the door, taking all this in. My heart's beating erratically and it's not just from the running. Oh, I think I'm started to remember this now.

"How long's he been like this?" the Doctor asks. He's standing beside the woman.

"Ashton just brought him in," answers the woman.

_Burn with me._

As the Doctor pulls out his sonic, those three words echo around my head. I gasp. Am I thinking it or is the sun thinking it?

Because I remember more now. Something about the energy scoops that the Doctor mentioned. They're mining the sun for power. And the sun is alive. And it's really not happy.

Oh, Jesus Christ, why the hell am I here? I can't do anything about it! It could change everything! I'm not a Time Lord, so how the hell am I supposed to know what's fixed and what isn't?

"Don't be stupid! That's my husband!"

McDonnell's voice drags me out of my thoughts. Korwin dies. Can I save him? Is there a way to save him?

The older man sneers. "And he's just sabotaged our ship!"

McDonnell spins to him. "What?"

"He went mad. He set the ship to secure closure, then he set the heat pulse to melt the controls."

"No way! He wouldn't do that!"

Yeah, HE wouldn't. The sun would. Think, Lily, think! There has to be some way to save everyone!

"I saw it happen, Captain."

The Doctor frowns at his sonic, pockets it, and leans toward Korwin. "Korwin? Korwin, open your eyes for me a second."

"No!" I shout at the same time Korwin screams, "I can't!"

The Doctor glances over his shoulder I me. I shake my head. I mouth the words "not safe." The Doctor squints at me, then turns back to Korwin.

Korwin, eyes squeezed shut, body pulsing up and down, says, "Don't make me look at you! Please!"

The Doctor reaches for something on a medical tray. "Alright, alright, alright. Just relax." He holds up some sort of red gun thingy. "Sedative?" he asks the girl in the scrubs.

"Yes," she says.

He pressed the gun thing, probably some sort of medicine injector, against Korwin's neck. Korwin tenses, giving a final cry before his body goes slack.

A bead of sweat falls down my back. I unzip my sweatshirt as the Doctor check's Korwin's vitals. I fling the sweatshirt into a corner. No point in keeping it; it'll just get in the way.

"Stasis chamber!" the Doctor almost squeals in delight. "I do love a good stasis chamber. Keep him sedated in there. Regulate the body temperature." He crosses his arms and perches against the bed of the MRI/stasis chamber. The woman in the scrubs starts running a scan on a computer. "And just for fun, run a bio-scan and tissue profile on a metabolic detail." He sounds way too calm right now.

Scrubs Girl glances over her shoulder. "Just doing them now."

The Doctor's voice goes up an octave. "Oh, you're good. Anyone else presenting these symptoms?"

"Not so far."

He nods. "Well, that's something."

McDonnell interrupts, peeved. "Will someone tell me what is the matter with him?"

"There's a sun creature inside him," I don't say. I want to, but I don't.

"Some sort of infection." Close, but not exactly, Doctor. "We'll know more after the test results. Now," the Doctor turns, leaning against the stasis chamber. "Allons-y, back downstairs." No one moves. "Ay! See about those engines. Go." The older man runs past me. McDonnell is frozen, staring at her husband. "Ay! Go." At the Doctor's command, she brushes past me. I take a step to the side so she won't bump me. The Doctor turns to Scrubs Girl. "Call as if there's news. Any questions?" Before she can answer, he turns away, fixing me with a dark look. Gulp.

"Yeah," she says, befuddled. "Who are you?"

The dark look fades for a fraction of a second. He's cheery as his head turns back to her. "I'm the Doctor." His mood deteriorates the closer he gets to me. "You," he grabs my upper arm. "With me. Now."

Double Gulp.

He drags me into the corridor, down a bit from the medical bay, then pushes me against a wall. He grips both my arms in his hands. His grip is tight, but it doesn't hurt. I could probably get away if I tried. But I would never try that. Not with him. "Now, Lily," his voice is deep. Behind his eyes churns the Oncoming Storm. He is barely a foot from my face. "Why shouldn't Korwin open his eyes?"

My throat is dry. Another bead of sweat falls down my brow. "I can't tell you."

"Not good enough!" He takes a step closer. Despite the anger in his eyes, my mind flashes to his future, to 11, to that brief kiss that's been plaguing my dreams all these weeks. "I trust you, Lily. I don't know why, but I do. But if you know something, something that could help, you need to tell me."

Regroup! Regroup!

I blink the sweat out of my eyes. "Is this moment fixed?"

His head tilts. The storm starts to clear. "What?"

"This moment. This event. Is it fixed?" I clench and unclench my hands. "Can it be changed? Would my telling you what is supposed to happen change it? Will you take that risk?" I take a deep breath. "You're wasting precious minutes just by talking to me."

He releases me. The look on his face, it's like he thinks I'm a freak of nature. "Who are you?"

"I'm from you future and I'm from your past," I explain. My words tumble over each other. "We don't meet in the right order. I know things you don't, about the future, and that's very dangerous. You know that."

He backs away, running both his hands through his hair. He exhales, then offers me a hand. "Come on then."

And yet again, I'm forgiven. For now.

I've really gotta learn to keep my big mouth shut.


	25. 10:  42 Part Three

**This felt like it took forever. But, hey, at least I came up with the idea for the rest of this chapter! There's going to be one more after this, then onto other things. I wanted to finish this chapter, but it would have been way too long and I promised myself I would post a chapter tonight.**

**Enjoy!  
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**42**

**Part Three**

The Doctor and the crew are running around in the engine room. The Doctor is, of course, giving out orders. I'm trying to help as best as I can, but I know more about geography than I do about anything to do with engines. (And I am horrible at geography. For half my life, I thought Ontario was a state. In the USA.) I'm good at following directions, though, so when the Doctor shows me how to do something, I can do it, but he's getting that annoyed tone in his voice. You know, the condescending "I'm a 900 year old Time Lord and you're just a stupid human and how can you not know what a happy prime number is or how to put an engine back together with only some sweat and elbow grease?" tone.

The Doctor inspects a chunk of wires and warped metal. "We need a backup in case they don't reach the auxiliary engines in time. Come on! Think! Resources, what have we got?" He tosses the warped mess aside.

Well, you've got me. I know what's going to happen. I don't know how to fix anything, but I know how we get out of this. I think. Dammit, why can't I remember how they got out of this?

"Doctor?" Martha's voice echoes over the intercom.

The Doctor snaps like she's a nagging wife. "What is it now?"

"Who had the most number ones, Elvis or the Beatles? That's pre-download."

"Elvis!" the Doctor and I shout at the same time. We stare at each other from across the engine.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

I shrug. "No."

"No," the Doctor shouts to Martha. "The Beatles. No. Wait… umm." He starts hitting himself over the head.

"I want to say Elvis, but the Beatles were, you know, the Beatles," I raise my voice. My hand starts jerking in a circle and I start tapping my right foot. "Elvis was around longer…"

"I don't know!" the Doctor tosses his arms in the air. "I am a bit busy."

"Try phoning a friend!" I suggest, half in jest.

"Fine," Martha pouts. The intercom goes silent.

The Doctor turns back to the crew. "Now, where was I?" He gazes away for a second. "Here comes the sun. No, resources. So, the power's still working, the generator's going. If we can harness that… ah!"

McDonnell almost smiles. "Use the generator to jump-start the ship."

"Exactly! At the very least, it'll buy us some more time."

McDonnell shakes her head, unbelieving. "That… is brilliant."

The Doctor beams. "I know! See! Tiny glimmer of hope!"

The word glimmer knocks around my head. Glimmer. Light. Burning…

I'm missing something. Something very important… Korwin. Korwin is infected with the being in the sun. The sun being? Anyway, he infects someone else, kills at least one person. But who?

I step away from the engine, hands pressed against my forehead. Think, Lily. You can save someone. Just think. Who does Korwin kill?

Scannell goes to the other side of the room, intent on finding a way to jump-start the ship with the generator.

Oh god.

I watch him leave, my eyes wide.

He gets infected while trying to start the ship… Does he? Someone does.

My hands fall from my head.

"Impact in 28.50."

Scrub Girl, who I earlier learned is named Abi, comes over the com. "Doctor, these readings are starting to scare me."

I gasp. The Doctor's eyes dart toward me. Mouth agape, I shake my head.

The Doctor drops what he's doing and stops walking. "What do you mean?"

Then, not even thinking, I dodge around scrap bits of engine, almost slamming into the Doctor as I stop. I reach inside his jacket and pull out the sonic screwdriver from his breast pocket. Heart pounding, I spin around.

As I'm doing this, Abi is continuing. "Well," she pauses. "Korwin's body's changing! His whole biological make-up, it… it's impossible."

I run out of the room.

Running down the hall trying to find the right setting on the sonic is impossible. I've used one a couple of times, but it was 11's sonic, so it was a psychic interface. This one, you actually have to set to something.

Ok, maybe grabbing the sonic wasn't the best idea ever.

Seconds later, I've reached the med bay. I slide through the plastic door hangings, sputtering to a stop.

Korwin is standing with his eyes closed.

Screw it.

I point the sonic at him and press the button.

Nothing happens.

Figures.

"Abi, turn around!" I shout, shaking the screwdriver, hitting it against my palm.

Abi spins just as Korwin's head slowly turns to me. A rumbling growl issues from his chest. Abi, clearly the smart one in the room, turns back to the intercom. "This is med-center. Urgent assistance requested. Urgent assistance!"

I spot the red injection gun on a silver tray behind Korwin.

I don't even think about it.

I spin the sonic to a random setting and point to my right. I press the button. Something sparks and blows up, drawing Korwin's attention.

"Urgent assistance!" Abi's voice raises an octave.

While he's distracted, I sprint for the anesthesia, tucking the sonic screwdriver into my bra.

Erina, the Gap Tooth girl, comes over the com. "Abi. They're on their way."

Apparently I do have some luck. Korwin's slowly advancing on Abi.

Abi's quivering in fear. "What's happening to you?"

My fingers touch the anesthesia. A hand wraps around my throat. I gasp for air as my airway constricts.

There goes my luck.

"Burn with me."

The voice is deep, animalistic, almost demonic.

I struggle forward. Korwin's fingers dig into my throat. God, my hand is so close.

"Burn. With Me."

Clomp.

The sound of metal hitting someone's head. It takes me a millisecond to realize that it wasn't my head exploding.

The grip on my neck loosens. I crash into the medical tray, coughing. The tray flies through the air. Silvery objects glint in the light as they fly all over. The anesthesia gun scrapes across the floor, a couple feet from where I'm laying.

Korwin is now facing Abi, who is wielding a metal tray. It clatters to the floor. "K... Korwin, you're sick…"

Gasping, I crawl toward the gun.

"Burn with me!"

I clasp the gun, then, in a move I can't believe I accomplished without falling flat on my ass, I jump up, roll over the bed of the stasis chamber a la _Dukes of Hazard_, and thrust the gun against Korwin's neck, pressing the trigger as soon as I make contact.

He goes facedown, but I know it won't be for long.

I shove the gun into my pants. "Help me get him in the stasis chamber!" I order, already turning his heavy body around. Abi just stands there. I glare up at her. "Now! He's going to wake up!"

She grabs him by the shoulders just as the Doctor and McDonnell slide into the room. Scannell enters not even a second behind them.

"What?" The Doctor sputters.

"What have you done?" McDonnell cries.

I groan, trying to lift Korwin by his waist. "Don't just stand there! Help us!"

Between the five of us, we plop Korwin on the bed. As we step back, his hand starts to twitch.

"How does this thing work?" I ask, head darting to all four shocked faces. "Is there a way to keep him under with this?"

The Doctor holds out his hand. "Hand me the sonic."

I pat my pockets. Where did I?…oh yeah… Blushing, I pull it out of my bra.

The Doctor raises an eyebrow at me, then sonics the stasis chamber. The MRI part starts to glow blue. "That should do it."

I poke Korwin's side. "Are you sure? I think he can withstand more than we think."

"Until we know what's infecting him, I'm not sure of anything right now."

We lock eyes.

Martha's voice interrupts us over the com. "Doctor, is everything ok?"

"Concentrate on those doors" he shouts at the ceiling. "You've gotta keep moving forward!"

"Impact in 27.06."

Korwin's hand stops flicking.

I glance around the group, focusing on McDonnell. She's staring at Korwin in disbelief, tears in her eyes.

"When he opened his eyes," Abi says, voice shaking. "A bright light… I think he would have killed me if she didn't get here."

Everyone looks at me, in varying degrees of shock and confusion. I scratch the back of my neck.

"What?" McDonnell's voice cracks. "Do you think… no way! Scannell, tell him! Korwin is not a killer!

Scannell just gazes at the floor.

"You don't know what he is right now," I say.

The Doctor slides on his glasses as he waltzes over to a tray across the room and holds up a piece of paper. "Burn with me," the Doctor says, thoughtful.

Scannell clears his throat. "That's what we heard Korwin say. What does it mean?"

"His bio scan results…" he chin is high as he reads. "Internal temperature, one hundred degrees! Body oxygen replaced by hydrogen! Your husband hasn't been infected, he's been overwhelmed!"

"The test results are wrong!" McDonnell spits, ripping the paper from his grip.

The Doctor continues on as if she never spoke. "But what is it though? Parasite? Mutagenic virus? Something that needs a host body. But how did it get inside him?"

"Stop talking like he's some kind of experiment!"

The Doctor pulls off his glasses and pockets them "Where's the ship been? Have you made planet-fall recently?" McDonnell's face falls mysteriously blank. "Docked with any other vessels? Any kind of external contact at all?

"What is this? An interrogation?" McDonnell backs away. "We're just… a cargo ship."

Scannell takes her side. "Doctor, if you give her a minute…"

Awkward silence.

Abi turns to the stasis chamber and monitors the readings. The beeping is consistent. Korwin isn't moving.

Hey, we may get out of this yet!

The Doctor looks away from McDonnell. But by looking away, he looks at me. I stiffen. "And you, Lily. You left awful quick when Abi started speaking."

I bite my lip. "I had a hunch."

"No, that was a bit early for a hunch." He steps towards me. The dangerous look is back, though it softens when he sees my throat. He runs a finger over my tender neck. I wince. "You've got bruises."

"I'd prefer to think of them as battle wounds," I joke lightly, coughing into my fist.

"Tell me what you know," his hand falls only my shoulder. It's not threatening in the least. It's very kind, almost begging.

I shake my head. "I can't. I can't really remember…"

"What do you remember?"

I take a deep breath, then start coughing. I hunch over. The Doctor rubs my back, comforting.

"It's all right," he whispers. "Take your time."

"Impact in 24.51."

Oh yeah, Doctor, we have all the time in the world!

McDonnell's voice is now almost business-like. "Is the infection permanent? Can you cure him?"

Eyes blurry, I stand straight.

The Doctor shakes his head. "I dunno."

"Don't lie to me, Doctor!" her voice cracks again. She takes Korwin's hand in hers. "Don't lie. Eleven years we've been married. We chose this ship together. He keeps me honest. So I don't want false hope."

"The parasite's too aggressive," he says. "Your husband's gone. There's no way back. We're keeping him in stasis so that he doesn't hurt the rest of the crew. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

McDonnell caresses Korwin's cheek, nodding. "Thank you."

The Doctor looks at me, almost as if he's pleading for me to have a better answer. Rubbing my tender throat, I shrug.

"Are you… certain nothing happened to provoke this?" he steps towards McDonnell and Korwin. "Nobody's working on anything secret, 'cause it's vital that you tell me."

"I know every inch of this ship." Her voice is hard. "I know every detail of my crew's lives. There is nothing."

She's lying.

"Doctor, we're through to area 18." Martha's voice rings out.

He doesn't take his eyes off of McDonnell as he shouts. "Keep going. You've got to get to area one and reboot those engines." He starts issues orders again. "McDonnell and Scannell, back to engineering. We've got to try to get the ship starts. Abi, keep an eye on Korwin's vitals. The second something changes, you get out of here and warn us." Abi nods. "Lily, with me." He holds out his hand for me to take. I place my hand in his, his fingers wrapping around mine. Our palms are damp, but his grip is strong.

No one else moves.

He gives them a hard look, though his voice is almost light. "Allons-y. No time to spare."

With a final look at Korwin, McDonnell and Scannell leave the room. Abi turns back to the computer, staring at it as if her life depends on it.

Which it kinda does, if you think about it.

The Doctor tugs my hand. I look up at him. He cranes his neck toward the door. Falling in step together, we leave the med center.

I hope that's not a huge mistake.

"Doctor, there's another question we don't know," Martha's voice comes on again.

"Go ahead," the Doctor says, a touch of irritation in his voice.

"Who does not belong in this group: Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, or Amy Winehouse."

"They're all musicians," the Doctor murmurs.

I brighten. "Oh! That's easy! It's the 27 Club! Keith Moon! Drummer for The Who."

"Huh?" Martha says.

"Keith Moon is the only musician in that group who was not twenty-seven when he died. The rest are in the 27 Club." I grin up at the Doctor. "I did a report on Keith Moon in fifth grade. We had to write about a famous person who died because of drugs or alcohol. Everyone else did Elvis or Marilyn Monroe. Keith Moon was the greatest drummer ever."

"We're through!" Martha exclaims.

"You're welcome!" I chirp. "Glad to be of some sort of help!"

The Doctor and I continue on.

"That was a very brave thing you did," he says as we walk back to the engine room as if there is no hurry at all. "Stupid, but brave."

"I didn't want her to die," I explain.

He nods. "Yeah. But you put yourself at risk. You could have been the dead one."

Is he for serious? "Is this really the time, Doctor?" I try walking faster, attempting to twist my hand out of his. He just grips harder and tugs me close. I'm pressed against his chest, head inches from his. I give a little gasp.

"If you know something else, you have to tell me. It's vital, Lily. Listen to me," he places his hands on my cheeks and gazes deep into my eyes. "This is not a fixed event. You can change this."

The computer interrupts our moment. "Heat shield failing at twenty percent."

"I… I don't know," I say. "I know a few things, but I know there is more, but I can't remember."

"Try. Please try."

I close my eyes. Then pop them open, gasping slightly.

"They're mining the sun for fuel," I explain. "We need to give it back. That's the only way it'll stop. We might even save Korwin that way."

"What about the engines?" his tone is desperate, almost manic.

I shake my head. "I seriously don't know, Doctor. I really don't remember."

He pulls me into a tight hug. "We'll figure that part out, then. But first, let's get those doors open so we can vent the engines."

Martha's panicked voice interrupts once again. "Doctor! We're stuck in an escape pod off the area seventeen airlock." Both our heads whip to the ceiling, as if she's above us for something. He drops my face, grabs my hand again, and we're running down the hallway. "One of the crew's trying to jettison us! You've gotta help us!"

"That's not possible!" I exclaim. "Korwin was supposed to infect one or two of the other crewmembers, I don't know which, but he's in stasis right now!"

"Well, somehow someone else got infected!" the Doctor yells over his shoulder. "How did Korwin get infected to begin with?"

"I have no idea!"

We slide into the engine room.

McDonnell almost runs into us. "Why is this happening?"

The Doctor points at her and Scannell. Ashton is missing. "Stay here! I mean it this time! Jump start those engines!"

Oh god. Is Ashton infected?

The Doctor, still holding my hand, spins me around. We both dash towards area 17.

"More information would be helpful right now!" the Doctor drops my hand so that we can both run faster.

My breathing is getting heavier. I'm still not used to this level of running. "The sun is alive. I think it's particles from the sun that are infecting everyone."

"How?"

"I don't remember." I feel like a sprinter as I vault across the raised door jams. "I just know that part."

"Come on, think," the Doctor whacks himself on the head. "How can a sun be alive?"

I just shake my head. I can't run like this and talk at the same time.

"Korwin has escaped!" Abi's frantic voice comes over the intercom. "I repeat, Korwin has escaped."

Well, that is just Jim Dandy!

My steps are getting sluggish. A cramp has formed in my side. As I slow, I wave the Doctor on. He doesn't miss a step as he peels away from me.

I make myself continue forward, even if I'm going slower.

How the hell did someone else get infected? That doesn't make sense!

"That's enough!" I hear the Doctor say from a couple air locks away. I slow my pace even more so that I can catch my breath. "What do you want? Why this ship? Tell me!"

I can see him now. And the person in from of him. I think it's Ashton, though his head is covered in a giant orange helmet.

"Jettison activated."

I slink close to the wall, trying to calm my breathing. I peak over the side of a doorway.

The Doctor's voice drifts towards me. "Come on. Let's see you." Ashton advances, now almost nose to nose with the Doctor. "I wanna know what you really are…"

Ashton starts to lift the visor of the helmet.

Then he falls to his knees.

It's a brief respite. He's back on his feet again.

The computer proclaims, "Airlock sealed."

Ashton stumbles away from the Doctor, towards me. I bite my lip, pressing myself against the wall as he passes me without stopping. I watch him walk away, confused.

"McDonnell!" The Doctor calls. I step away from the wall to see the Doctor at another com unit. "Ashton's heading in your direction! He's been infected, just like Korwin!"

Scannell's voice comes over the com. "Korwin's dead, Doctor."

I nearly trip over my own feet. So soon?

"Anyone else?" the Doctor asks.

"We're all accounted for, Doctor," Scannell answers.

"Good. Stick together." He leaves the com unit, just as the computer gives another announcement.

"Airlock decompression pod."

The Doctor and I stumble to the doorway, falling against it at the same time. We peak through the glass. There's Martha and Riley. Martha presses her hands against the glass.

She mouths the word, "Doctor."

"I'll save you!" the Doctor shouts.

I turn from the glass, sliding down the door until I'm hugging my knees.

I guess I didn't save the day after all.

The Doctor continues shouting those three words over and over, until once again, the computer interrupts.

"Impact in 17.05."

The Doctor suddenly stomps to the com. "Scannell! I need a spacesuit in area 17, now!"

"What for?"

I jump as the Doctor yells, more angry than I've ever heard him, "Just get down here!" He slams a fist against the wall. The top of his head bangs against the wall as well.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I thought I could change things."

The Doctor doesn't answer.

"I thought by saving Abi the rest of this wouldn't happen. I guess it doesn't really work like that, huh?"

His voice is low, filled with so many different emotions. "Get someone to help you open the doors."

"Doctor, if you go out there, whatever that thing is, it's going to enter you."

He gives me a sharp look.

I raise my chin. "I don't want that to happen to you."

"Lillian," he growls.

I cross my arms over my chest. "Oh please, like I've never seen you angry at me before. Believe me, your future regeneration is even better at the whole Oncoming Storm thing. In six weeks, I think you got mad at me like fifty thousand times."

He climbs to his feet, menacing.

"Just… don't look at the sun, ok?" I plead. "I think that's how it's supposed to get inside you."

* * *

><p>A couple minutes later, Scannell is helping the Doctor into an orange space suit. My mind cuts to when I saw him with The Beast. I shake my head, forcing the image away.<p>

"I can't let you do this," Scannell says for the hundredth time.

"You're wasting your breath, Scannell You're not gonna stop me."

Scannell points at the door, frustrated. "You wanna open an airlock in flight on a ship spinning into the sun. No one can survive that!"

The Doctor almost smiles. "Oh, just you watch."

"You open that airlock, it's suicide. This close to the sun, the shields will barely protect you."

The Doctor's frustration bursts out. "If I can breach the magnetic lock on the ship's exterior, it should re-magnetize the pod. Now, while I'm out there, you both have got to get the rest of those doors open. We _need_ those auxiliary engines."

Scannell makes one last attempt. "Doctor, will you listen! They're too far away, it's too late! Lily, do something!"

I shake my head. What I am supposed to do? No one can stop the Doctor.

The Doctor raises his chin. "I'm not gonna lose her." He places the helmet over his head.

"Be careful," I take a step towards him, placing a hand on his arm. "Don't look into the sun."

He covers my hand with his gloved one, then brushes me away. He opens the airlock door and walks inside.

Once the door closes, I press my nose against the glass.

"We should get the doors," Scannell says, awkward.

I don't move. "Get Abi to help you."

Scannell walks away, muttering under his breath.

"Decompression, initiating," the computer says. "Impact in 12. 55."

I watch the Doctor as he leaves the vessel.

I close my eyes.

Please. Please, if there is a god out there, let him get out of this safe.

I just stare out the window, waiting for him to finish.

"Impact in 11.15. Heat shield failing at ten percent."

I watch the Doctor's hand reach for something. The sun behind him shadows his hand.

The sun…

My eyes are drawn to the sun.

I try to blink, I try to look away, but I can't.

I keep staring, watching the swirling gold explosions twist and jump and dive out of the giant ball of light.

"It really is alive," I whisper.

Something pushes me back.

I gasp, automatically shutting my eyes.

Oh, this is really not good.


	26. 10:  42 Part Four

**Ok, this was fun. Serious fun. With no further ado, here is the end of "42"!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.10.<strong>

**42**

**Part Four**

My body is on fire.

Not like the vortex manipulator. No, that's a gentle burning in comparison to this overwhelming inferno. I stumble back, hitting the wall. I think I'm on my back on the floor now.

I squeeze my eyes shut as tight as possible.

Someone is screaming.

The pained, ripped feeling in my throat makes me think it was me.

_Burn with me…_

Something is inside me! Something is in my head!

I cry out again, flopping to my stomach, reaching out for nothing, nails digging into the metal floor.

I can fight this. I can fight this long enough for the Doctor to come back. He can save me.

Even with my eyes closed, the world is blinding.

Why oh why did I look into the sun? Isn't that the first thing they teach you as a kid? Don't look into the sun or a creature will inhabit your body, forcing you out, and kill all your friends!

My stomach cramps. I curl into a ball.

"Lily?"

My head automatically moves toward the sound of his voice.

"Stay away from me!" I cry. My voice is deep, demonic.

Two blessedly cool hands grip my face. The heat abates for a moment, but then the hands are gone and I want to weep for their return.

"What's happened?" a familiar voice asks. McDonnell?

I'm vaguely aware of a buzzing sound, then the Doctor's voice growling. "It's your fault, Captain McDonnell!"

My heart skips a couple beats. My muscles constrict and I open my mouth in a silent scream.

"Riley! Get down to area 10 and help Scannell with the doors. Go!"

Like something from a thousand miles away, I realize that the Doctor saved Martha and Riley. But… is the Doctor ok?

"Doctor," I say, strangled. My voice sounds almost normal.

Those two cool hands are back, one on my forehead and one around my waist, helping me sit up. "I'm here, Lillian."

"Did it get you?" My voice is barely even a whisper.

The cool hand leaves my forehead to wrap around my torso. My forehead is instead pressed against a cool neck. "No," he says. "I'm going to save you," he promises.

"I know."

I don't know if I actually said the words out loud. The world is spinning and I'm not far from the brink of fainting.

_Burn with me_.

I struggle to stay conscious. Distantly, I feel myself being lifted up, an arm under my knees and another around my back. I want to wrap my arms around the person's neck, but my limbs just flop around, useless. I think the person who's holding me is running now, by the way the world is bobbing around.

The Doctor's voice shouts from far away. "You mined that sun! Stripped its surface for cheap fuel! You should have scanned for life!"

"I don't understand." McDonnell's words are close to an adult from Charlie Brown.

"Doctor, what are you talking about?" Martha, I think.

"That sun is alive! A living organism! They scooped out its heart, used it for fuel, and now it's screaming!"

McDonnell's voice trembles. "What do you mean? How can a sun be alive? Why's he saying that?"

"Because it's living in me," I whisper.

At least, I think I whispered it. The world grows brighter. Human-like shapes shadow the brightness. Did I just open my eyes? I didn't want to do that!

"Oh my god…"

Something wraps around my eyes and the brightness abates. I squeeze my eyes shut.

_Burn with me_!

The Doctor's anger rumbles through his chest. "Humans! You grab whatever's nearest and bleed it dry!"

An especially intense pain cramps my stomach. I scream, ripping my throat in agony.

"You should have scanned!" His voice is becoming panicked.

"It takes too long!" McDonnell says. "We'd be caught! Fusion scoops are illegal."

I bury my face into the cool neck. "You've got to freeze me," I mumble against it.

"What?" the Doctor's anguish is echoed by Martha.

"Stasis chamber! You gotta keep me… below minus 200. Freeze it out of me!" I lift my head high enough that when I speak, I feel my lips graze an ear. "It'll use me to kill you if you don't! The closer we get to the sun, the stronger," my head rips back and another scream tears out of me. "It gets!"

"Lily," the Doctor's voice cracks. "A human cannot survive that."

The bobbing stops. I suddenly feel a cold hard surface on my back as more heat swirls around my mind. A hand grips mine.

"I don't know what else to do." A tear boils off my skin.

In the background, I hear other voices, possibly Martha and McDonnell, but they all fade away in comparison to the Doctor's.

A moment's hesitation, then the hand leaves mine. "I do." Two hands press against my cheeks again. "Lily, open your eyes."

My head jerks violently back and forth. "No."

"Lily, please. I can survive it. You can't."

A part sob, part laugh escapes me. "After I told you not to look into the sun? I tried to save you from being taken over, Doctor."

"Lillian Meyers, you brilliant girl, you're going to open your eyes now and we're both going to survive this. Tomorrow you can say hello to my next regeneration."

"Time doesn't always work like that."

"Impact in 7.30."

Stupid computer always interrupting serious moments.

Something presses against my forehead. Was that a kiss?

"Please. Open your eyes. For me?"

Taking a final shaky breath, I open my eyes.

"_Burn with me_," the words escape out of my chest.

For a moment, the inferno peaks and I think I'm going to melt.

Then, just like that, it's gone.

I sit up, gasping. Martha and McDonnell are staring at me, shocked. I'm sitting on the bed of the stasis chamber in the med center.

"Where's the Doctor?" I ask.

Before anyone can answer, I hear him. He's groaning in agony to my right. I look over the bed. He's laying there, twitching, eyes squeezed so tight, they're more like two thin lines.

Shit.

I roll off the bed, landing next to him. My knees give out.

"Help me get him in the stasis chamber!" I order, picking up his left arm and trying to scoop him up by his thin torso.

The two women break out of their shock and help me lift him up. Once he's placed there, Martha grabs what I think is an instruction manual.

"I can do it!"

The Doctor reaches out a hand. "Martha? Lily? Where are you?"

I grab his hand. "It's alright. I'm here."

Martha goes to his other side. "It's me. Here I am!"

The Doctor nods, then jerks into half a fetal position. "Stasis chamber, minus 200."

Martha nods. "You sure?"

"I can take it."

"No, you don't know how this equipment works!" McDonnell says. "You'll kill him! Nobody can survive those temperatures!"

Martha glares at her. "He's not human! If he says he can survive, then he can."

"Let me help you then!"

"You've done enough damage."

I squeeze the Doctor's hand as a particularly violent tremble rips through his body. "Where's Abi?"

"Helping Riley and Scannell with the doors," McDonnell says.

I nod. "Go switch with her. We could use her here instead."

McDonnell glares at me. I set my jaw, staring at her as if she doesn't matter anymore. With a final glance at the Doctor, she turns away and leaves the room.

The Doctor screams, jerking again. "Ten seconds. That's all I'll be able to take. No more! Martha!"

She looks up from the equipment, her face in agony, confusion, and sadness. "Yeah?"

I smooth the Doctor's hair from his forehead as he gurgles. "It's burning me up. I can't control it. If you don't get rid of it…" His voice changes, becomes deeper, sinister. "I could kill you. I could kill you all." His body unclenches and he's gasping for breath. He whispers, "I'm scared! I'm so scared!"

Martha takes control, thank god. I might weep if I try to talk right now. "Just… stay calm. You saved me, now I return the favor. Just… just believe in me." She turns her concentration back to the machine.

The Doctor starts rocking from side to side. "It's bloody killing me! Then what'll happen?"

I take a deep breath, nodding for Martha to continue working. "Shh…" I kneel down so I'm closer to him. "That's enough! We've got you!"

"Martha!" he cries. "There's this process. This… this thing… that happens… if I'm about to die."

I press a finger to his lips. "Shh… quiet now. Cause that is not gonna happen." I lean closer, whispering in his ear now. "I know how you regenerate, Doctor. It's not like this. Not at all."

Martha takes a shaky breath. "You ready?"

I nod, even as the Doctor cries out, "No!"

I release his hand as Martha presses in a series of commands, causing the Doctor's bed to slide into the stasis chamber. After a couple more seconds of button pressing, we lock eyes. I'm biting my lip. She's almost crying.

She presses a button.

I don't even want to describe the sound of his agony.

Stumbling away from the stasis chamber, I go to a wall, leaning my forehead against a wall.

"Heat shields failing at five percent."

I close my eyes.

This is officially too much for me.

A moment later, the stasis chamber cuts off.

I spin around.

The Doctor, already covered in ice crystals, screams out. "No! Martha you can't stop it! Not yet!"

She turns to me, panicking. "What's happened?"

McDonnell interrupts us. "Power's been cut in engineering."

Abi rushes to Martha's side and starts pushing buttons, trying to get everything back up.

"But who's down there?" I ask McDonnell. Then gasp and press both my hands to my mouth. Oh, god… it's Korwin.

Her face is set, knowing. "Leave it to me."

She leaves. To go kill her husband.

"Impact in 4.47."

Martha slaps the stasis chamber. "Come on! You're defrosting."

The ice crystals are gone already. I run to Martha and Abi, but there is little I could do to help.

"Lily! Martha! Listen!" the Doctor calls for us. We both peak our head inside._ "_I've only got a moment. You've gotta go!"

"No way!" Martha says.

"Get to the front! Vent the engines! Sun particles in the fuel! Get rid of them!"

I shake my head. "I am not leaving you!"

"You've got to! Give back what they took!"

Martha clutches the edge of the stasis chamber. "Doctor!"

He starts convulsing, screaming again. "Please! Go!"

Abi clears her throat. "I'll stay here. When the power comes back on, I'll take care of him."

Martha and I glance at each other. We nod.

"I'll be back for you," Martha promises, dodging away from the stasis chamber.

"Me too," I add.

"Impact in 4.08."

Taking a deep breath, I follow Martha, but turn back just before I leave the room.

"Lily!" the Doctor cries.

"Yeah?"

He's almost crying. "Are you sure I survive? Because it does not bloody feel like it."

I bite my lip. "Do you trust me?"

He doesn't even hesitate. "With my life."

I smile. It feels weird in the situation, but I can't help it. "You'll be fine."

"Impact in 3.43," the computer says as I run as fast as I can down the halls to the front of the ship. Martha is far enough ahead of me that I can't even see her at this point. "Survival element protection zero percent."

"Lillian! Martha!"

I've entered section six at this point, but slide to a stop at the sound of the Doctor's voice over the intercom.

"Doctor?" I shout. Martha echoes a second after me.

"What are you doing?" she continues.

"I can't fight it. Give it back or… Burn with me. Burn with me, Abi!"

Shit. Shit, shit, shit!

I turn around and run back through section 7. "Martha, get to the engines! I'm going back to the Doctor! Abi, just run!" Nothing. "Abi, answer me!"

"I'm here," she calls. She sounds breathless. "He left the med center, but he collapsed not far from it."

"Get to the engine room," I order her. "I'll take care of him."

At this point, we cross paths. Abi and I don't even look at each other as we switch places.

"Impact in 1.21."

I hear the Doctor's screams. I'm close now.

I jump through the last section and spot the Doctor laying on his side, unmoving. I scramble to him, sliding to my knees. I pick up his head and place it on my lap.

He begins to open his eyes.

I quickly cover them with both my hands.

"No, Doctor," I say, trying to sound soothing, but I think I'm coming across as scared. "Just a few more seconds and everything will be okay."

He starts to scream again. His body is glowing gold. It's not regenerative energy. It's because of the sun. He starts thrashing again and his moans are deeper and deeper still.

I do something very stupid.

I drop his head out of my lap. Not thinking twice about it, I sit on his chest, wrapping my feet around his shins to try to stop the thrashing. I hold down his arms, but then he starts to open his eyes. I leg go of his arms so that I can cover his eyes.

I swear to god, this is not sexual in the least for me.

With my free right hand, I grab his left arm and pin it between myself and his chest. Then I do the same with his right. The entire time, he's trying to toss me off of him. I've never been good at riding a bull, but so far, I've been keeping my balance.

"Just calm down, Doctor," I say, digging my knees into his thighs to calm his ministrations. "Fight it. Don't let it take over."

"Impact in 1.06."

I close my eyes and press my head against my hands, elbows out, trying to keep him pinned. My strength is quickly diminishing.

The Doctor screams, louder than ever before.

His hot breath causes me to jerk back.

The glowing abates.

I remove my hands from his eyes. He opens them. I flinch, but they are back to normal.

He's breathing hard. I just stare at him, shocked. He blinks up at me, confused.

Then I smile and collapse on top of him, hugging him to me as hard as I can. His arms wrap around me, and he returns the hug.

"Told you," I joke.

"Impact averted. Impact averted."

The Doctor laughs in relief, pushing my face into his neck. "Yes, you did."

His hand falls away from my head and I push myself up so that I can look in his now brown eyes. They gaze at me, questioning.

"Why are you on top of me?"

Blushing, I scramble off him, sitting against the wall instead. "You were thrashing a lot. I didn't want you to hurt yourself."

He rises to his knees, then sits next to me. He takes my chin in his hand, turning my head so I'd look at him. "Thank you."

His sincere tone makes my stomach jump. I don't know how to answer.

Eyes locked, we just stare at each other.

And I do the second most stupid thing I've done that day.

I run my fingers through his hair, thrilled at the texture. He caresses my cheek. When my fingers find there way to the back of his head, I yank him forward and our lips connect.

For a second, we're both shocked at my forwardness.

Then I sink into the texture of his lips and he grips my waist tightly in both hands. One of us groans; I can't be sure, but it might have been him. He pulls me closer and the kiss deepens. I tangle my fingers in his amazing hair. We're somehow laying down with him on top of me now. Just as his tongue connects with mine, I realize what the hell I'm doing and I push his chest.

He doesn't jump away from me. He flies.

I cover my mouth with my hand. He stares at me in shock, breathing heavily.

"Doctor!" Martha cries.

I scramble another inch away from him as Martha appears from around the corner. I drop my hand from my mouth, but my lips feel like they're swollen to double their size. Who knew the Doctor was a nibbler? No! No! Bad, bad thought! Just stop it.

I'm sure Martha is going to know what just happened between us.

But the Doctor tears his eyes away from me and stands, pulling Martha into a hug, lifting her off the ground. They're both giggling, happy to be alive.

I run my hand over my face and stand, using the wall to help support me. My knees feel like jelly.

"You're ok!" Martha exclaims. He releases her and she pulls me into a hug as well. "You're both ok!"

Over Martha's shoulder, I meet the Doctor's eyes.

I can't read them.

* * *

><p>Later, we're standing in front of the Tardis, with the whole crew. Well, not really. We're minus Korwin, McDonnell, and Ashton. They couldn't be saved, unfortunately.<p>

But Abi is alive and well, so there's something, I suppose.

Scannell and Riley are staring at the Tardis in awe.

"This is never your ship!" he says.

The Doctor grins. "Compact! Eh! And another good word, robust! Barely a scorch mark on her."

Martha comes around from the back of the Tardis. "We can't just leave them drifting with no fuel."

Abi speaks up. "We've sent out an official mayday. The authorities will pick us up soon enough."

"Though how we explain what happened…" Scannell scratches his head.

The Doctor pushed the Tardis door open. "Just tell them. That sun needs care and protection, just like any other living thing." He nods at the crew, then locks eyes with me and motions for me to follow him. I nod.

"Bye everyone," I say, waving. As everyone says good-bye, I follow the Doctor into the Tardis. Martha lags behind.

The Doctor runs a finger over the console as he walks around it. "What happened earlier…"

I gulp and interrupt him. "I think we were just both happy to be alive. It was nothing."

He pauses, then looks up at me. "I trust you with my life, Lily," his voice is low. "But I can't trust you with my hearts."

I think my mind just exploded. "I'm not asking you to!"

He pauses, taking that little nugget of information in. This is worse than when 11 kissed me. Much worse.

"How did you know about the fuel?"

I shake my head. "I can't tell you. You'll find out later."

He scratches the back of his head. "This is why I can't…" he drifts off.

I step forward. "Can't what?"

"Never mind."

I want to continue this conversation, but the door to the Tardis closes and Martha waltzes up to us, a silly smile on her face. "So! Didn't really need you in the end, did we?" Her smiles fades as she inspects our sad, distant faces. I would like to curl up into a corner and cry, though I don't exactly understand why. "Sorry. How're you doing? Both of you?"

I don't say anything as the Doctor suddenly starts punching coordinates into the console. "Now! What do you say? Ice skating on the mineral lakes of Calhan. Fancy it?"

Martha's shoulders drop. "Whatever you like."

The Doctor sighs and looks away from the console. He pulls something out of his pocket. "By the way, Martha, you'll be needing this." He dangles a Tardis key from his fist.

I repeat: he dangles ONE Tardis key.

I think my heart just broke.

Martha, however, is ecstatic. "Really?"

He grins. "Frequent Flier's Privilege." The key slowly drops into her waiting hand. Then he grips her shoulders and looks deep into her eyes. "Thank you."

She pulls the Tardis key over her neck when he releases her. "Don't mention it." He turns away to tinker with the console again. She gasps suddenly. "Oh no! Mum!" She goes off into a corner, clutching her cell phone.

I lean against a column, arms crossed. "I don't suppose there is anything in your pockets for me," I ask the Doctor.

He doesn't look at me. "No."

Why don't you just stab me, Doctor? It would hurt less.

"Right," I sigh. "So that's how it is?"

"Until I learn more about you, yes."

I close my eyes, trapping the tears that threaten to fall. I think about the texture of his lips on mine and a tear does fall.

"Right," I repeat.

And pray the vortex manipulator will take me away from here.

But it doesn't.


	27. 11: A Case Of Love BiPolar Interlude

**EDIT: I've decided to start a blog to capture my journey with this story (and probably any future ones). Please check it out! I'm looking for some help in a few areas and would LOVE it if someone out there can, well, help! Go to sarbrookDOTblogspotDOTcom (obviously replace DOT with a . )  
><strong>

***Evil grin* In honor of Chapter 11, THIS happens.**

**P.S. I'm not a huge Katy Perry fan (or honestly a fan at all), but it needed to happen. You'll understand. =)**

**Now I'm gonna go hide in a corner...  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.11.<strong>

**A Case Of Love Bi-Polar**

**Interlude**

The Tardis is weird. Awesome, but weird.

I walk into my bedroom, because, yes, my bedroom from the future is here. But, then again, the Tardis exists in all of time and space, so it's not actually surprising that my bedroom is here, just the way I left it. The large dark framed bed is unmade, the soft tan comforter almost tied in knots. The towel hung over the door is still damp from my shower.

Frowning, I grab another towel from the linen closet and take a long shower, scrubbing off all the sweat and grime before I set the shower to as cold as I can stand. I don't want to feel any more heat anytime soon.

Unbidden comes the memory. The sensation. His lips on mine. The first time. The second time. Two pairs of eyes, one green, one brown. Two different colors, yet the same look, the same ancient wisdom, the same _je ne sais quoi_, the same regard that I'm too afraid to think too much about.

Is that water running down my cheeks from the shower or tears?

My heart is torn in three places.

Daniel. It feels like forever ago, but with Daniel came normality. Came my world. I miss my world, I do, I really do, but… well, at the same time, my world is nothing like this. This is spectacular. Even with the pain and terror. I know I should try to get home. I don't belong here. But part of me wants to stay.

Michael. I love him. He's my Protector, my companion. I trust him completely. With my life. With my heart. But he's lost to me and I'll never get that back. Being with him will just hurt too much, because he'll never really know what we shared. Those three years in The Year That Never Was never happened to him. I'm the lone survivor. I'd rather lose him forever than be rejected by him because he doesn't remember.

The Doctor.

My right hand curls into a fist. An animalistic roar wells out of my chest and I punch the wall.

I don't like this. I really don't.

These feelings… there is no point to them. No point to this ridiculous crush. 10 will choose Rose. 11 will choose River. So get over it, Lillian. Just freaking get over it, because he will never be yours.

Never.

He's the Doctor. Falling in love with the Doctor is a fate worse than death.

So there's really only one choice.

I turn off the water and wrap a towel around myself. Dripping water everywhere, I exit the bathroom, opening the wardrobe and pulling out the outfit the Tardis picked out for me. I don't even know what I'm wearing until after I've already dressed and pulled my hair into a lazy bun. I stare into the mirror. Really? A short red spaghetti strap dress, black tights, and hiking boots?

An interesting look to say the least.

The vortex manipulator catches my eye. I hold my wrist up close to my face, inspecting the brown leather band. It clasps just like a belt. There is no reason that it shouldn't come off. I try unlatching it, but it might as well be glued closed.

Kicking the bed in frustration, I spin around and sprint out of my room.

I don't even know where I'm going until I get there.

The console room.

But, wait. Not the same console room…

There are no columns of coral. I'm back in 11's Tardis.

How the hell did that happen? I don't even remember my wrist burning.

"In other words," the Doctor's voice floats from somewhere in the control room. He appears from behind the time rotor. He's wearing the red bow tie and no coat. "I've figured out how to send you home."

Cue the dropping of my jaw.

He wipes a hand over his face, not looking at me. "And if you would like, I'll show you how. But, I have to say something first." He takes a deep breath and braces himself against the console. "I don't want to sound selfish, Lily, but I have to say it. This could be my last chance to say this. I've may regrets and I'm hesitant to add another."

He breaks away from the console and strides up to me, pinning me with a serious, yet wild look. He takes my face in his hands, cupping them as if I'd break.

I can't even form words right now.

"Lillian Elizabeth Meyers." His voice is soft, gentle. His eyes are glassy. "I don't want you to go."

Buh…

"You belong here. You belong here… with me." He presses his forehead against mine. "I don't care that you don't remember who you are. I don't care that you think you belong in that parallel world. I'll find a way to make you remember and if you still want to go, then you can go. But, please, wait until I can show you who you really are."

His lips find mine. The kiss is so sweet, so gentle, so loving, so FUCKING CONFUSING!

I push against his chest, breaking the kiss.

"What," I say, panting. "Are you talking about?" My heart is beating as if I've just run a marathon.

The Doctor's eyes widen in shock, but I don't think he understands that I don't know what he's talking about. "I know you think you're just Lillian Meyers, but you're not. I've explained this to you."

I take a step back. "And who am I?"

"Blossom, you're…Oh…" It visibly dawn on him. His face falls and alights with knowledge all at the same time. "Oh, I'm thick. I'm old and thick!" He hits his head. "You switched, didn't you? You're a different Lily."

"How can I get home?" I ask, stepping towards him. "You really found a way?"

He shakes his head. "No. No, forget it. Forget I said anything." He turns away.

I grab his shoulder. "Doctor, you just said you found a way to get me home and I want to go home."

"I can't, Lily," he breaks out of my grasp, putting distance between us. "It's too soon for you. It'll create a paradox."

"I don't care!" I shout, stomping my foot. "I just want to go home. I'm sick of being here and being confused and… and your… YOUness!"

"Me-ness?"

My arms wave in the air. "Yes! You're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in, then you're out! You!" I stomp right to him, poking his chest as he braces himself against the railing. "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes." I take a deep breath, then consider. "Wait. Sorry, that's Katy Perry… but it still stands!" I poke him once more for good measure.

He bites his lip. A smirk quirks the sides of his mouth. He tries to catch it before I see it, but he's too slow. A chuckle turns into a snort.

I glare at him. "Shut up."

He laughs now. "I'm sorry, Lils," he giggles. "But what's the password?"

I shrug. "I feel like the password has been Keith Moon for about ten years now. We just saved that space ship from tumbling into the sun that's alive."

That sobers his laughter. "Oh." He places a hand on my shoulder, bending at the knees to catch my eye. "I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't know then…"

I brush his hand away. "Whatever. Just take me home."

"You know I can't."

"Well when can you!" the anger is back.

He remains silent.

"Right. Ok. What just happened for you?" I cross my arms.

He swallows. "How about what's about to happen?"

How does that make sense? Oh, wait.

"You're about to die," I whisper.

He nods.

"Great. Just freaking fantastic. So you're going to die and I'll be stuck here forever."

He just shrugs.

Insert awkward moment here.

"Ok, fine," I sigh. "Well, I hope I get home someday and I really hope it's soon."

Nothing. The Doctor's face is completely blank.

Something else occurs to me. "What do you mean I don't know who I am?"

He claps his hands once. "I think it's time for you to go." He spins in a circle, then goes to the other side of the console. I follow him, hot on his heels.

"Oh, no!" I grab his shoulder again. "Answer the question."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"It hasn't happened for you yet."

"What hasn't?"

"You'll have to wait and see."

"Sometimes I hate you."

"I know."

The last words are said softly, filled with pain and sadness. My hand whips away from his shoulder as if I just got burned. We stand there, feeling extra awkward, before something happens, something I never would have expected.

He spins around and grabs me, pulling me close, so from my bust to my pelvis, our bodies are smashed against one another. For a skinny feller, he's quite strong and muscular. Before I can even think about how to break from his grasp, he kisses me.

My knees go completely weak.

The Doctor braces me, pressing me even closer, dipping to increase the pressure of the kiss. His fingers curls underneath my bun, causing some hair to fall out of the rubber band. His other arm crushes against my lower back. One of my errant legs wraps around his. His hand drops from my waist, grabbing my thigh, stretching my leg up as high as it will go comfortably.

A minute later, he gently breaks the kiss, placing a softer one on my forehead before he releases me completely.

I grab the railing so that I don't fall when he lets go of my leg.

My mouth moves up and down, but I can't speak for a good thirty seconds. I sort of stare at nothing.

"Wow."

He grins. "Thanks."

I blink and meet his eyes. They're playful and lustful at the same time. "So," I say. "What about River?" Oh, that's just freaking fantastic! You just had the best kiss of your life (sorry, Captain Jack, you're number two now), and the first thing you ask about is River Song? I am such a stupid freaking masochist, I swear to god, I don't even deserve the kiss I just had.

He loses the smile. "I can't tell you that."

I just nod once. "Okay then." I run my fingers over my lips. "Do we… do that often?"

"Not often enough."

I bite my lower lip. "This is way out of character for you."

"You'll find that it isn't."

"I have lots of questions now."

He smiles again and pushes a piece of hair behind my ear. "I just wanted to show you that I'm not horrible forever."

"Oh, you're horrible, Doctor," I say. "Very horrible."

"But you like it," he flirts, voice all deep and stuff.

I take a step back, blushing. "This has officially gone beyond mind blowing. Way beyond." Another thought occurs to me. "Oh my god! I'm a freaking Mary Sue!"

The Doctor just laughs. "What is that?"

"It's when… oh never mind." I think my mind just exploded. I wouldn't be surprised to see bits of my brain scattered everywhere. "I should go. You're right. This is too much for me."

"I'm sorry."

I start pacing. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. "No, it's fine. I mean, it's not _fine,_ but it's livable, and damn, you are an amazing kisser." I lose my train of thought and stop pacing, once more gazing at air.

Two hands lightly grip my shoulders and a kiss is pressed against the side of my neck. "Thank you," he breathes in my ear. "As are you."

I close my eyes, relishing in a shiver that electrifies my spine. "You're breaking a lot of rules right now. It's not fair. I'm the one who's going to have to face you again in the past knowing that this is how you are in the future."

He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me close. "I believe this is where the new password comes in for you."

"Oh?"

"Mmm," he nuzzles my neck. "Your new password is Something."

"Something?" I think I'm flying in the stars now. Well, physically and mentally.

"As in, 'Something in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover.'"

We're rocking now, dancing to a non-existent song. "This is beyond insane."

"Yes, it is. But such is the life of time travelers."

"When's the first time we agree that Something is the password?" I stare at our hands, which have somehow entwined themselves over my stomach.

"I won't give away the ending, Lily. The journey is the best part."

"So this is the ending?"

"It might be. I'm not quite sure."

"I think I need to start writing down these passwords."

His pecks the top of my head, then pulls away. "You'll be fine. You're a clever girl."

I walk away from him. If I don't, I'll just turn around and jump his bones. I'm too confused for that to happen. I grip the railing, leaning against it, staring at the depths of the Tardis.

What the freak just happened?

I run a hand over my face, then turn around. The Doctor is still looking at me with a sad smile on his face.

"Doctor, I…"

But I'm interrupted by Future Me falling in between us, wearing exactly the same outfit, though my hair is much shorter. Not the pixie cut I've seen before, but still short, shorter than it is now. And the dress dirty, ripped, and Future Me is sprawled on the floor, unconscious.

There is only time for me to gasp. The Doctor rushes to Future Me's side. We lock eyes for a moment. The pain in his takes my breath away.

And then the vortex manipulator takes me away.


	28. 12:  Silence in the Library Part One

**I'm going to warn you that this is basically a "set-up" chapter and nothing too original happens.**

**Also: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! You all rock! And special shout out to RaptorSaysRawr for the amazingly long review!**

**Oh, and one more thing: check out my blog! I have lots planned for it, including some behind the scenes things and, if there is every a time where I throw out a scene or start a chapter, but can't finish it for a couple days, sneek peaks. Plus I give music suggestions for what I listen to while I write. I swear it's not going to be the same band everyday. I've just been in the mood to listen to them the past couple nights. Anyway, replace the DOTs with . sarbrookDOTblogspotDOTcom  
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**Silence in the Library**

**Part One**

And I land back on a balcony.

Right smack dab in the middle of a stone balcony, on my back somehow. And by the look on their faces, apparently in the middle of a conversation between the Doctor and Donna.

"Ow," I say. It's the new hello. I sit up, rubbing the spot at the back of my head where I bumped it against the floor.

The shock on Donna's face is almost comical. Her jaw is dropped farther than humanly possible (an amazing feat, considering the gob on her) and her eyes are so wide, I'm surprised her eyeballs aren't rolling on the floor by now.

The Doctor, of course, takes my appearance in stride. "Hello, Lily." He offers me a hand.

I have two options here: I can freak out at him (which is the option I would love to give in to) or I can pretend the last hour or so of my life hasn't happened.

I choose the latter. The life of a time traveler.

"Hey," I place my hand in his, allowing him to pull me up. I give him a quick once over. Underneath a long tan jacket is the blue suit, this time with a dark maroon shirt and a red swirly tie. "Password?"

"Iceberg."

I blink, startling. "That's a new one. Mine's Something."

"Something? You don't know what it is?"

I grin. "No, the password actually is the word Something."

"Huh," he says, thoughtful. "When's the last time you saw me?" He crosses his arms, pensive.

"You or Future You?" I tease. Am I flirting? Yes, yes I am.

He fixes me with a serious look, but the corners of his mouth are edging towards a smile. "You tell me…"

"Oi!" Donna shouts, coming between us. "Are you two going to stand there flirting all day or are you going to introduce us?"

The Doctor clears his throat and drops his arms. "Right. Donna Noble, meet Lillian Meyers."

I turn to Donna, offering her a hand to shake. She looks me up and down.

"This is the Lily you told me about?" she says, hands on her hips. "The one who drops from the sky now and again? How does she do that, anyway? Is she made of huon particles?"

I drop my hand, because she's clearly not going to shake it. "I don't know how I get from place to place. It just sort of… happens."

We both turn to the Doctor, expecting an answer. He just scratches his head. "I have a couple theories, but… I just don't know."

Donna's eyes go wide. "Never thought I'd hear you say that, alien boy." She hugs me suddenly. I pat her back awkwardly. Over Donna's shoulder, the Doctor is just as shocked as I am. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lily. I've been stuck alone with the Martian for far too long."

"Oi!" the Doctor squeaks. "How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a Martian!"

Donna lets me go, ignoring the Doctor. "So, you know him in the future, do you? Got any good gossip I can lord over him?"

The Doctor starts mumbling to himself, shaking his head, walking away from us.

I laugh. "Tempting, but that'd be breaking the rules."

She rolls her eyes. "Oh, you're as bad as he is!"

I just shrug. "Sorry."

"Right!" the Doctor exclaims, clapping his hands once. "So, The Library!"

"The Library?" I ask, confused.

He leans against a dark brown railing, not quite wood, but not metal either. "You mean you haven't noticed?" He presents the view to me with a graceful sweep of his arm. He'd make a good Vana White.

I take in the view.

It looks like a city. A futuristic city, but a city nonetheless. Long, spiky towers point at the sky. Some sort of monorail/train system winds between the buildings like a snake. The railing of the balcony itself is piled with books. I run my fingers over the spin of a particularly old brown book.

Oh god.

I gasp and take a step back.

The Library.

I cover my mouth with my hand. I really need to learn how to keep my reactions to myself.

"We're in the Library," I whisper.

The Doctor takes my shock for that of surprise, not of horror. "Yup!" he pops the p. "And if I'm not mistaken, we're near the equator so…" He licks his finger, then sticks it in the air. "This must be Biographies! I love biographies!"

Donna just rests her arms on the railing. "Yeah, very you. Always a death at the end."

She has no idea.

With his hands in his pockets, the Doctor bobs his hips from side to side. "You need a good death. Without death, there'd only be comedies. Dying gives us size."

Oh, that was foreshadowing. Very, very, very foreshadowing.

Can you tell I'm still in shock? Because I am.

Donna picks up a book and starts thumbing through it, but the Doctor snatches it away. "Oi! Spoilers!" he tsks.

"What?"

"These books are from your future. You don't wanna read ahead, spoil all the surprises. Like peeking at the end."

Donna cocks her head to the side. "Isn't traveling with you one big spoiler?" Have I mentioned that Donna is very high up on my list of favorite companions for this very reason? She is just so awesome. She keeps him humble(ish) and in check.

"I... try to keep you away from major plot developments. Which, to be honest, I seem to be very bad at, cause you know what? Lily is way to silent. Lillian!" He spins to me. "Usually by now you're tripping over yourself in mirth, holding your mouth closed to keep lots of spoilers from spilling forth. So what's wrong?"

I blink myself out of my reverie, shaking my head. "Sorry," I push a lock of hair out of my face. "It's just… nothing."

His large brown eyes wince as me as he shakes his head. "No, it's clearly not nothing. Want to know why?" I bite my lip as he looks out at the city. "This is the biggest Library in the universe. So where is everyone? It's silent."

Silence in the Library…

He pulls his sonic screwdriver out of his coat pocket, then brushes behind me, giving my head a little scratch as he passes. I follow him with my eyes, Donna physically following him as he starts sonicing what looks like a Pac Man machine that was spray painted an industrial green.

"The Library?" Donna asks, peeking over his shoulder.

"The planet. The whole planet."

"Maybe it's a Sunday."

"No, I never land on Sundays." The Doctor glances at Donna. "Sundays are boring."

I lean my elbows against the rail and close my eyes, plopping my face in my hands.

"Well... Maybe everyone's really, really quiet," she whispers.

"Yeah, maybe. But they'd still show up on the system." Typing, clicking buttons.

"Doctor, why are we here? Really, why?"

"Oh, you know, just passing." Offhanded.

"No, seriously. It was all, 'let's hit the beach' then suddenly we're in a Library. Why?"

Totally ignoring her. "Now, that's interesting."

"What?"

"Scanning for life forms. If I do a scan looking for your basic humanoids - you know, your book readers, few limbs and a face, apart from us, I get nothing. Zippo, nada, see? Nobody home. But if I widen the parameters to any kind of life…" He pauses. "A million million. Gives up after that. A million million."

"But there's nothing here. There's no-one."

"And not a sound. A million million life forms, and silence in the Library." He looks up. Then he looks at me. I carefully keep my face blank as he stares at me, trying to gage something from my reaction.

"But there's no one here," Donna says, oblivious. Then she says, in a jumble of words. "There's just books. I mean, it's not the books, is it? I mean, it can't be the books, can it? I mean, books can't be alive?"

I shake my head slowly, even as Donna reaches out towards a book. She's just about to touch it when…

"Welcome!" a voice calls.

We all jump. I put a hand to my racing heart.

"That came from in there." Donna points behind her.

"Yeah," the Doctor says, distracted. He gives me a final up and down, then leads the way up the stairs toward the voice. I follow slowly up two flights of stone, possibly marble stairs. The main building is dark with high ceilings. Pools of light collect in the middle of the long, dark wood floor. The Tardis is parked in one of the lighted pools. Tapestries of some origin cover the walls, but the shadows hide them from view.

The Doctor strides right to a circular desk piled with books. A strange, human-esque statue stands in front of him. Well, human-esque in a very, very abstract sort of way. Although it does have a very human looking face.

"I am Courtesy Node 710/aqua," the statue says. "Please enjoy the Library and respect the personal access codes of all your fellow readers regardless of species or hygiene taboo."

The lips move too well. Even Disney World isn't this good at animatronics.

Oh, wait, there was something about these statues. Something bad… what was it?

"That face," Donna says, echoing my thoughts. "It looks real."

The Doctor, whose back is to me, just says, in a fast sort of way: "Yeah, don't worry about it."

"But a statue with a real face, though! It's a hologram or something, isn't it?" Donna can't let it go.

"Or maybe a robot?" I toss in.

The Doctor glances over his shoulder at us. "No, but really, it's... fine."

"Additional. There follows a brief message from the head librarian for your urgent attention," the Node's voice is way to chipper. It reminds me of Laylani the tour guide in Atlantis. "It has been edited for tone and content by Felman Lux Automated Decency Filter. Message follows. 'Run. For God's sake, run. No way is safe. The Library has sealed itself, we can't... Oh, they're here. Arg. Slarg. Snick.' Message ends. Please switch off your mobile comm units for the comfort of other readers."

I take a couple steps forward so I'm next to the Doctor now. I don't touch him, but I feel a little better closer to him.

"So that's why we're here…" His voice is low, serious, and, though this is so not the time or place, kinda sexy. "Any other messages, same date stamp?" he asks the Node.

"One additional message. This message carries a Felman Lux coherency warning of 5, 0, 11…"

The Doctor interrupts it. "Yeah, yeah, fine, fine, fine, just play it."

"Message follows. 'Count the shadows. For God's sake, remember... if you want to live, count the shadows.' Message ends."

Pause.

I swallow, eyeing each corner of the room.

The Doctor steps in a slow circle. "Donna. Lily."

"Yeah?" we say in perfect unison.

"Stay out of the shadows."

He carefully, slowly walks away. I follow him, sticking as close as I dare, mindful of the long shadow at his back and the shadow cast by the Tardis itself.

"Why, what's in the shadows?" Donna asks in a quiet voice.

The Doctor doesn't answer. And I can't remember what's in the shadows. He pushes open a creaky door and we step into a massive hallway, Donna close behind. The walls are literally filled with bookshelves. A musty, yet comforting smell that only a room filled with books can give fills my nostrils as I take a deep breath. This place would totally be my kind of place if it weren't for the imminent danger.

Donna finally breaks the silence. "So… We weren't just in the neighborhood."

The Doctor stops walking. I eye him as he reaches into his coat pocket for something. "Yeah, I kind of, sort of lied a bit. I got a message on the psychic paper." He hold it out to her, then shows me as well.

_The Library. Come as soon as you can. X_

I bite my lip to keep from saying her name out loud. This is where he first meets her.

Good. I have some questions for her.

"What do you think?" He looks at the psychic paper. "Cry for help?" He flips it back to us. One of his expressive eyebrows rises as he takes in my reaction. I'm trying not to react, which is probably reaction enough.

Donna raises her eyebrows and takes the psychic paper to study it. "Cry for help - with a kiss?" She holds it back to him, giving him some sarcastic attitude.

"Oh, we've all done that." He goes to take it back, but I snatch it a second before his fingers can grab it.

"Who do you think it's from?" I ask, looking over the handwriting.

The Doctor snatches the psychic paper out of my hand and puts it back in his pocket. "Originally, I thought it was from, well, you, Lily." He sounds almost sheepish.

I grin. I can't help it. "Is that really my style? Sending you a message on psychic paper?" I shrug daintily. "Doctor, when I want to see you, I just drop right in."

Yes, I'm flirting and lying all at the same time. Obviously I know who it's from, but I can't let him know that, because he doesn't know her yet.

Donna looks up at the sky, frustrated. "So why did we come here, why did you…"

"Donna…" the Doctor interrupts, suddenly looking at the end of the hallway behind us. I turn to follow his stares.

Fizz. Pop. Dark.

Fizz. Pop. Dark.

The lights are going out.

"What's happening?" Donna cries.

The Doctor grabs my left hand. "Run!" he orders, spinning us around so we can run away from the darkness.

It doesn't take long for us to reach a wooden door. The Doctor drops my hand tries the doorknob, but it won't turn. He presses himself against the door, trying to force it open.

"Come on!"

Donna's in a panic. "What, is it locked?"

"Jammed! The wood's warped!"

Fizz. Pop. Dark.

It's getting faster now. I press my back against the wall.

"Sonic it, use the thingy!"

.dark.

"I can't, it's wood!"

Fizzpopdakrfizzpopdark.

"What, it doesn't do wood?"

"Hang on, hang on," he pulls the sonic out of his pocket and starts sonicing the cracks of the door. "If I can vibrate the molecules, fry the bindings, I can shatterline the interface…"

Donna growls, frustrated. "Oh, get out of the way!" He rolls away from the door, but rolls face to face with me. His eyes are wide, both scared and excited from the danger. His body is pressing me against the wall, arms blocking any sort of escape, and I almost forget about the danger.

Almost.

I dip towards him and he dips down, and I lick my lips in anticipation, but before anything can happen, Donna kicks the doors open.

Releasing me, he grabs my hand again, propelling me into the room. Donna bends over a little ways into the room as the Doctor and I shove the doors closed. The Doctor grabs a large skinny book from a pile and uses it to bolt the door.

My back is against the door, and I'm breathing heavily. That was close. In more ways than one. Blinking, I take in the room.

A brownish globe is floating in the middle of the room.

The Doctor notices it and smiles. "Oh! Hello! Sorry to burst on you like this. OK if we stop here for a bit?"

The globe shuts off and drops to the floor, right smack dab in the middle of what appears to be a giant compass design in the tiled floor.

My lips curl in confusion and I cock my head to the side as the Doctor strolls to the globe, Donna next to him.

"What is it?" she asks.

I leave my position at the door to take a closer look. The room is what you would expect from a normal library in a rich town: deep mahogany tables and chairs, desks for quiet studying. The works. Just a basic library.

"Security camera. Switched itself off." He crouches down and picks the globe out. He pulls the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and starts sonicing it. "Nice door skills, by the way, Donna."

"Yeah, well, you know, boyfriends... sometimes you need the element of surprise." Oh Donna. Her best quips are when they are said that distractedly. "What was that, what was after us? I mean, did we just run away from a power cut?"

"Possibly."

I clear my throat. "Are we safe here?"

He grins up at me. "Course we're safe. There's a little shop." He nods towards a sign on the glass wall that says The Shop. "Gotcha!" he exclaims, giving the globe a little toss.

A sound reminiscent of ticker tape or a typewriter ejects from the globe. I look over the Doctor's shoulder, catching the words "please stop."

The Doctor slowly puts the globe down. "Ooh, I'm sorry. I really am, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Then, confused. "It's alive."

Donna raises her eyes to the sky, annoyed. "You said it was a security camera!"

"It is," the Doctor explains, still staring at it. "It's an alive one."

"How can it be alive?" I ask, rubbing my temples. The question is more for myself than him. I know I know this, I just can't remember it.

"I have no idea," the Doctor replies, voice full of wonder, unaware I wasn't exactly talking to him.

The globe starts ticking again. Red letters appear on a small black screen.

_Others are coming. The Library is breached. Others are coming._

"Others?" Donna reads. "What's it mean, others?" I share a look with the Doctor, but he's confused. I'm the only one who knows who's coming.

Donna, apparently unhappy with our reaction, turns to another Node. "Excuse me, what does it mean, others?"

The Doctor keeps staring at the globe. "That's barely more than a speak your weight machine, it can't help you."

Why is the globe casting such a big shadow?

"So why's it got a face?" Donna asks.

The Node clicks as the "head" turns. It has a different face than the last one. As it speaks, the Doctor is scratching the back of his head, both worried and frustrated.

"This flesh aspect was donated by Mark Chambers on the occasion of his death," the Node says.

Donna rears back. "It's a real face?"

Sighing, the Doctor frowns at me, nodding his head towards Donna. I watch him go to her side. This is really… gross, actually.

"It has been actualized individually for you from the many facial aspects saved to our extensive flesh banks. Please enjoy."

Ew.

Her surprise intensifies. "It chose me a dead face it thought I'd like? That statue's got a real dead person's face on it…"

The Doctor tries to calm her down. "It's the 51st century, that's... basically like donating a park bench."

"It's donating a face!"

51st Century? Ooh, I wonder if Captain Jack is about… well, a century is a long time, so I doubt it. And that is way off topic, Lillian.

Donna backs away from the Node. I hold out a hand, crying for her to stop before she almost walks into the huge shadow cast by the globe.

The Doctor, much closer to her than I am, grabs her waist so she won't keep stepping back. "No! Wait, no!"

She cries out and slaps his hands. "Oi! Hands!"

He snatches his hands back. "The shadow, look." He points.

"What about it?"

His voice drifts off into that tone he gets when he's remembering something and thinking all at the same time. "Count the shadows," he repeats.

"One. There, I counted it, one shadow."

I clear my throat. "Yeah… But what's casting it?"

I stare up at the ceiling. There is a giant circular skylight, so large that there is no way the small globe on the floor could possibly cast a shadow so big. I swallow and look around some more.

I'm missing something. What am I missing?

"Oh!" the Doctor shouts suddenly. I jump, gasping as he continues on, rampaging forward with his hands on his head. "I'm thick! Look at me, I'm old and thick! Head's too full of stuff, I need a bigger head!"

He stops at the entrance of a corridor. A single lamp is blinking at the end of the hall.

Donna observes the corridor with a confused interest. "Power must be going."

The Doctor's voice is deadly serious. "This place runs on fission cells. They'll out burn the sun."

I whisper, "Then why is it dark?"

He turns to me, giving me a grave look. "It's not dark."

Donna suddenly gasps and points at the globe.

The shadow is gone.

Donna echoes the sentiment.

The Doctor walks over the spot where the shadow was, grasping my upper arms. "We need to get back to the TARDIS," he orders, letting me go in order to take my hand.

"Why?" Donna asks in a small voice.

"Because that shadow hasn't gone," I say. The Doctor stares at me, knowing. I swallow. "It's moved."

"Reminder," the Node suddenly chirps. "The Library has been breached, others are coming. Reminder: the Library has been breached, others are coming. Reminder: the Library has been breached…"

A flash of light.

The three of us stumble back as a door bursts open and a figure in a tight white spacesuit, complete with a helmet with a dark visor. Five other people follow behind the figure. The leader strides right up to us.

Pursing my lips, readying myself for this moment, the moment I knew was going to happen the moment I found out I was in The Library, I squeeze the Doctor's hand and wait for as the person reaches behind her helmet to turn on a light. I can already feel the jealousy burn against my skin.

River Song smiles up at the Doctor.

"Hello, sweetie," she grins. Then, she does something that actually surprises me. She looks at me. Obviously she knows me and I know her, considering our time streams are intertwined, and she was there when I first came to this universe, but what she says next really does confuse me. "Hey, best friend."

Best friend?


	29. 12:  Silence in the Library Part Two

**Finally. I've been trying to finish this for days now, but as it is Thanksgiving week, there was a lot of family things happening. But it's here now! So enjoy!**

**PS- My blog is sarbrookDOTblogspotDOTcom. In case you were interested. =)  
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**Silence In The Library**

**Part Two**

River, of course, answers my question with only a smirk. Though she does look down at my hand intertwined with the Doctor's. That rips the annoying smirk off her face.

The Doctor immediately drops my hand and takes charge. "Get out!" he orders.

"Doctor," Donna says, sounding confused, serious, and a bit scared.

At the same time, I frown at River. "Best friend?"

The Doctor raises his voice, addressing everyone. "All of you, turn around, get back in your rocket and fly away!"

River smiles again, but the glint is gone from her eyes. "Where are we?" she asks.

The Doctor points at the door. "Tell your grandchildren you came to the Library and lived, they won't believe you."

I hesitate, glancing at the Doctor. "Last I saw you was Lake Silencio," I whisper. I try to gauge her reaction. But it is River Song, so there is no reaction to be had. "But his time stream is… trickier…"

River nods, her voice hushed. "Oh, it always is." She addresses the rest of the expedition, almost hitting me with her white backpack. "Pop your helmets, everyone. We've got breathers."

As the group takes off their helmets, Donna grabs my arm and pulls me aside. "Do you know that woman?"

I shrug, though my eyes drift to the (supposedly) future Mrs. Doctor. "I've met her once. That's all I can say."

One of the members of the expedition does not take off her helmet. "How do you know they're not androids?" The voice is female, I believe.

"Cause I've dated androids," River replies. "They're rubbish."

"Who is this?" a slightly overweight man with short brown hair, receding hairline, and pretentious air stomps to River. "You said we were the only expedition, I paid for exclusives."

"I lied, I'm always lying. Bound to be others." As River speaks to the arrogant man, the woman who spoke before takes off her helmet, casting us a distrustful look.

The man balks at River. "Miss Evangelista, I want to see the contracts!" A young girl with a side ponytail starts fluttering about, digging through her backpack.

River turns her attention back to the Doctor. "You came through the north door, yeah? How was that, much damage?"

He ignores her. "Please, just leave." He pleads.

As he continues, I answer River's question. "Damage, no. Just empty. And the lights keep going out."

"I'm asking you seriously and properly, just lea... Hang on. Did you say expedition?"

Arrogant man puffs up. "My expedition, I funded it. I am Mr. Lux."

The Doctor gapes at everyone in disgust and tired annoyance. "Oh, you're not, are you? Tell me you're not archaeologists."

River raises an eyebrow. "Got a problem with archaeologists?"

"I'm a time traveler. I point and laugh at archaeologists." His hands are on his hips and his tone is akin to a weary parent.

"Ah. Professor River Song, archaeologist." She offers him her hand. I really want to slap my forehead as he takes it and starts shaking it madly.

"River Song, lovely name." He pulls her in front of him and, hand on her lower back, guides her away. "As you're leaving, and you're leaving now... you need to set up a quarantine beacon." River, amused and smirking, turns back to him as he lets her go. "Code-wall the planet, the whole planet. Nobody comes here, not ever again... not one living thing, not here, not ever."

The woman who was the last to take off her helmet wanders from the rest of the group, heading toward the shadow. I run forward and grab her arm before she can step into the darkness.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that," I say, tugging her arm. She's stronger, but I'm more determined. After a bit of a fuss and a little muscle, I've pulled her away from the shadows. "What's your name?" I ask, giving my sweetest smile.

"Anita," she says, bewildered.

"Ooo, like in _West Side Story_." I try to distract her so she'll follow my lead as I bring her back to the group. "If you want to live, stay out of the shadows, hun," I advise.

The Doctor, on one of his maniac ramblings, stomps over to us and finishes my sentence, sticking a finger in Anita's face. "Not a foot, not a finger in the shadows till you're safely back in your ship." He spins on a heel to face the group again. "Goes for all of you. Stay in the light. Find a nice, bright spot and just stand. If you understand me, look very, very scared."

Blank faces all around. Except River, of course, who's smirking in that River-way she has.

"I'd be a bit more scared if I were you," I say. Then, tilting my head. "Actually, I should be too, shouldn't I?"

The Doctor frowns down at me. "You're not helping."

"Sorry, it's hard to be properly scared after everything I've been through." I gasp suddenly, feeling my eyes go wide. "Oh, god, I said 'properly scared.' I'm turning British…"

The Doctor just gives me an exasperated look, then turns to one of the men. "You, who are you?"

I sneak to River's side again. "I'd seriously consider leaving, if I were you. Like, take everyone and go."

She's just more amused, if that's possible. "Now where is the fun in that?"

"River," I whisper as Other Dave explains about Proper Dave the pilot. No one is paying me any attention. Good. This is complicated enough without a million questions. "I'm not kidding around. Being here is a really bad thing right now."

She places a hand on my shoulder. "Lils, my dear friend," she looks directly into my eyes. "No spoilers, please."

I close my eyes tight, then open them again. I squeeze both of her shoulders, hard. "River, my apparently good friend from my future," I can feel the desperation rise up. "He doesn't know who you are."

That freezes the smile. "What?"

"He hasn't met you yet."

She purses her lips. We both turn to the Doctor, who is now dragging Other Dave about the room, interrogating him on their journey to this room.

"So it's finally happened," River's voice is laden with sadness and wonder. "I've finally caught up with him."

"River, please," I grab her chin and force her to look at me again. My left hand remains on her shoulder. "Please, for once in your impossible life, just listen to the Doctor and get out of here. Right now." No reaction. Is she in shock? Time to go for broke, then. I glance back at the Doctor again. He's back with the group, and Other Dave is barring the door. I lower my voice, leaning in to whisper into River's ear. This is something no one else can here. "Melody Pond," my voice is shaking. I shouldn't be doing this. I really shouldn't be doing this. This can change… everything. "Remember what you said to your father in Florida."

Referring, of course, to _The Impossible Astronaut_, when River and Rory were searching through the tunnels and she was explaining to him that her timeline and the Doctor's timeline is running backwards. When she said, "The time is coming when I'm going to look into his eyes and he's not going to recognize me at all. And I think it's going to kill me."

That's not verbatim, of course. But it's the general idea.

And she knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Her hazel eyes glisten with tears. Whatever she was about to say is interrupted by the Doctor popping his head into our conversation.

"Problems?" His tone is fake playful. I drop River's chin and we both meet the Doctor's dark, manic gaze.

"Just trying to convince her to get everyone out of here." I plaster on a grin, just as fake as the Doctor's.

He raises an eyebrow. He clearly isn't buying my act. But there isn't time for more questions.

Donna, however, doesn't seem to get that sentiment. "How do you two know each other?" Her arms are crossed. She's standing opposite the Doctor.

River, for her part, masks her tears with another smirk. This one is a bit wobbly though. "Spoilers." And she walks away.

I roll my eyes. "Oh, please," I grumble. "Yes, River and I know each other. No, I'm not going to explain how." I give the Doctor a look, which I hope he takes as "I can't tell you, because it's the future and you can't know or else it'll rip a hole through space and time or something equally bad."

He takes the hint.

"I hate to interrupt the soap opera," Mr. Lux steps in. "But we are not looking for a way out. Miss Evangelista?"

The young brunette takes River's place, shoving papers into our faces. "I'm Mr. Lux's personal... everything. You need to sign these contracts agreeing that your individual experience inside the Library are the intellectual property of the Felman Lux Corporation."

The Doctor takes the paper from her. "Right, give it here."

Donna takes one as well. "Yeah, lovely. Thanks."

I grab the final contract. "Ooo, let me see!" Ok, maybe I laid that one on a bit thick.

The three of us rip up the contracts and toss the paper like confetti.

Mr. Lux's face goes red. "My family built this Library. I have rights."

River, seemingly back to her self now, pushes past the annoying man. "You have a mouth that won't stop." She cocks her head at the Doctor. "So there's danger here?"

Seriously? I want to smack her face in. Did she listen to me at all?

The Doctor rolls his eyes. "Something came to this Library and killed everything in it, killed a whole world. Danger? Could be."

I give her a pointed look, eyes wide, lips pursed.

River ignores me. "That was 100 years ago. The Library's been silent for 100 years. Whatever came here is long dead."

I snort. "Bet your life?"

Again, she ignores me. Though she does smile up at the Doctor, flirting. "Always." She looks me up and down, then turns away.

"Torch!" the Doctor cries, ripping a flashlight out of Mr. Lux's hand.

"River," I growl. She ignores me, though Donna grabs my arm.

"Lily," she hisses. "What's going on? Who is that woman?"

"Something bad," I say, not really answering either question. I pull myself out of her loose grip. We both trail behind the Doctor.

The Doctor is shining the flashlight into every corner. "Almost every species in the universe has an irrational fear of the dark. But they're wrong. Cause it's not irrational. It's Vashta Nerada."

"What's Vashta Nerada?" Donna asks.

His voice is low, serious, and, once again, very sexy. "It's what's in the dark. It's what's always in the dark." A brief pause, then he explodes into action, shouting. "Lights! That's what we need, lights. You got lights?" He throws the flashlight back to Mr. Lux.

"What for?" River asks.

"Form a circle, safe area, big as you can, lights pointing out." He pulls off his long trench coat and throws it over a banister, then grabs my arm, a little more hard than necessary, puling me with him.

"Oi! Do as he says!" River orders.

As Mr. Lux fights with her, the Doctor pins me with a dark, serious look. "Who is that woman?"

I don't struggle, though I really want to. "Which one?" I paste on a smile, but I think it's more sarcastic than I meant for it to be.

The woman in question, River, is issuing orders to the group, who actually listen to her. "Anita, unpack the lights. Other Dave, make sure the door's secure, then help Anita."

"River," the Doctor hisses.

River is still firing off orders. "Mr. Lux, put your helmet back on, block the visor. Proper Dave, find an active terminal. I want you to access the Library database, see what you can find about what happened here a hundred years ago."

Inside, I feel like I'm falling down a tunnel, my fingernails digging into the metaphorical walls. Outward, I try to stay peppy. "Oh, she's a friend from my past. And our future."

"Pretty Boy, you're with me. Step into my office."

"Our future?" the Doctor's eyebrows are almost touching his hairline.

I shrug. "Well, you know I'm from your future. She's also from your future. So in a way it's our future." I sigh. "Please stop asking questions. You'll find out soon enough."

Mr. Lux starts complaining. "Professor Song, why am I the only one wearing my helmet?"

I can almost hear the smile in River's voice. "I don't fancy you."

"Is she important?" The Doctor's grip on my arm loosens, but he doesn't let go. He places his other arm on my shoulder. I gaze into those dark brown eyes and I swear they are getting a little stormy. And not in the Oncoming Storm way.

"I'm just going to say no to all your questions from now on," I say, drinking in that fitted blue suit. My cheeks are starting to flush. "It's easier that way."

"All my questions…?" His voice is soft and he's leaning in again. I lick my lips and I swear his chest just rumbled.

"Pretty Boy, with me I said," calls River. "You too, Lils."

The Doctor jerks back, letting go of me suddenly. "Oh, I'm Pretty Boy?" He's confused now and all that heaviness from a second ago has dissipated.

"Yes," Donna says from the other side of the room. "Ooh, that came out a bit quick!"

"Pretty!" the Doctor exclaims.

"Meh," Donna says, shrugging.

He glances at me and my cheeks feel extra warm now. I clear my throat. "You do have a certain… uh… never mind."

He winks at me, then clears his throat, becoming serious again. "Right." He stalks toward River. "Don't let your shadows cross! Seriously, don't even let them touch. Any of them could be infected."

Pushing some loose hair out of my face, I follow the Doctor to River's side. I stay right beside him. His arms are crossed as he leans his legs and bottom against a short wall. I slump my shoulder against the pillar right behind him.

River is probably not going to like what's about to happen. I don't think she believed me when I told her that he didn't know her.

Well, she's about to get her proof.

River, stooped over her backpack, stands up, holding her Tardis journal. "Thanks," she says.

The Doctor regards her with a cool look. "For what?"

"The usual. For coming when I call."

"Oh, that was you?"

"River," I interrupt. "I wasn't lying to you earlier."

She barely glances at me. "You're doing a very good job, acting like you don't know me. I'm assuming there's a reason."

I toss my arms in the air. "Aaand, you're ignoring me. Awesome. Why am I even over here?"

She gives me a sardonic look. "Because I want to prove you wrong. This isn't the first time you've pulled such a trick on me." She's almost looking desperate. "OK, shall we do diaries, then? Where are we this time? Uh, going by your face, I'd say it's early days for you. Yes? So, um... crash of the Byzantium, have we done that yet?"

The Doctor says nothing.

I just snort. "Wrong face, River."

She gives him another look over. "Right, um, oh. Picnic at Asgard. Have we done Asgard yet?"

Again, nothing.

"Obviously not. Blimey, very early days, then. Huh, life with a time traveler, never knew it could be such hard work." She leans in, really examining him now. He takes a bit of a step away from her. I think he's trying to figure her out. River whispers, casting me a look. "Lils, you're right." She leans forward. "Look at you! You're young."

He gives a small smile, shaking his head. "I'm really not, you know."

"No, but you are. Your eyes." She reaches out, stroking his cheek, his hair. Hello, Jealousy. Nice of you to drop in. "You're younger than I've ever seen you."

He takes a step away from her. In doing so, he leans right into me. "You've seen me before, then?"

The look in River's eyes… it almost breaks my heart. "Doctor… please tell me you know who I am?"

"Who are you?"

_Beep beep._

_Beep beep._

I look up into the air, as if the noise is coming from the ceiling. The Doctor breaks away from us to investigate.

I grab River's arm before she can follow him. "I'm sorry. I tried to warn you."

She pulls out of my grasp. "I know." Head high, she leaves me.

Sighing, I run my hands over my face.

Proper Dave, I believe, calls out to everyone. "Sorry, that was me. Trying to get through into the security protocols, I seem to have set something off. What is that? Is that an alarm?"

Donna says, "Doctor? Doctor, that sounds like…"

"It is," he exclaims. "It's a phone!"

My head is killing me. I start rubbing my eyes.

Proper Dave continues. "I'm trying to call up the data core, but it's not responding. Just that noise."

Donna is still shocked. "But it's a phone!"

"Let me try something," the Doctor says.

I blink a couple of times. I haven't had sleep in what feels like forever. After that 42 minutes of hell, I just had time to shower and have a strange moment with the Doctor. I feel like I could sleep for a year after this.

That's when I feel it.

My wrist is starting to burn.

"No…" I whisper.

Slower than ever, the burning is spreading.

"Doctor!" I call.

"Not now, Lily, I'm busy," he responds.

I'm shaking. "Doctor, I'm about to go."

"Good," he says. I hear the sonic somewhere in the background. "You'll be safer that way."

The burning is in my chest, my legs, my other arm, my cheeks. I'm tingling everywhere, but I've still yet to leave.

"I really don't think so," I whisper.

Then I'm engulfed and suddenly I'm somewhere else.

Or, wait, no I'm not. This is still The Library. I'm with the group still.

Though it is a bit brighter. Maybe?

The Doctor is on his stomach, pointing a light at the shadows and sonicing the air in a staccato rhythm. Everyone else is in a semi-circle around the lights. I land right behind River and Donna. And it's a good landing! I don't even sway!

River says to Donna, "You travel with him, don't you? The Doctor, you travel with him."

Donna looks at her. "What of it?" Then she notices me. "Lily?"

The whole room turns to me, except the Doctor, who's asking Proper Dave to move over so he can investigate.

"Hey," I say, flicking a few fingers in salute. "What have I missed?"

"We lost Miss Evangelista," River informs me, matter-of-fact.

That throws me a second. "That's too bad…"

Awkward silence. I come to stand next to River and we watch the Doctor sonic the room.

"You know him, don't you?" Donna says all of a sudden.

"Me?" River says. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Donna nod. "Oh, God, do I know that man. We go way back, that man and me. Just not this far back."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"He hasn't met me yet. I sent him a message but it went wrong, it arrived too early. This is the Doctor in the days before he knew me. And he looks at me, he looks right through me and it shouldn't kill me, but it does."

Donna's voice starts to rise. She's clearly getting frustrated. "What are you talking about? Are you just talking rubbish? Do you know him or don't you?"

The Doctor interrupts. "Donna! Quiet! I'm working."

"Sorry!" she calls. Though she doesn't really sound that sorry.

River finally looks at her. "Donna? You're Donna? Donna Noble?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I do know the Doctor. But in the future. His personal future."

"So why don't you know me? Where am I in the future?"

I want to elbow River in the ribs to get her to shut up, but the Doctor stands up and that moment, that bad moment, is gone.

"OK, we've got a live one!" he calls. He turns to the group. Donna goes to his side. "That's not darkness down those tunnels, this is not a shadow. It's a swarm. A man-eating swarm." He finally notices me. "Oh, hello again, Lily. I thought you were gone!"

I shake my head. "No, I just jumped time a bit."

"Oh, lovely," he says, a bit sarcastic. "Maybe next time you should try to leave completely." He gets on his hands and knees again, pulling a metal lunch box to him. He turns back a second later. "Actually, that's a good point. See if the vortex manipulator…"

"NO!" I put my hand behind my back. "Last time I tried to go somewhere on purpose, I landed in an ocean and almost drowned."

"Worth a shot, though," he insists, going back to the line between the shadows and the light.

"Yeah, I'll get right on it," I murmur.

He tosses a chicken leg into the shadows. It falls to the ground completely meat-free. "The piranhas of the air, the Vashta Nerada. Literally 'the shadows that melt the flesh.' Most planets have them, but usually in small clusters. I've never seen an infestation on this scale, or this aggressive."

Donna says, "What do you mean, most planets? Not Earth?"

"Mmm, Earth, and a billion other worlds. Where there's meat, there's Vashta Nerada. You can see them sometimes, if you look. The dust in sunbeams."

"If they were on Earth, we'd know."

"Nah, normally they live on road kill. But sometimes people go missing. Not everyone comes back out of the dark."

A bolt of electricity crashes through my body and I'm suddenly somewhere else. No. No I'm not. Still in The Library, but still some_time_ else.

I'm next to River again, but my placement has moved a few feet to the right. Still in the light, which is good. Everyone has their helmets on now.

Ugh, my head is spinning.

"Lils," River hisses. She grabs my arm. "Did you just jump again?"

I nod. Oh, that was a stupid movement. I stumble on my own two feet. River grabs my other arm, righting me.

Mr. Lux is complaining now. "What good are the damn suits? Miss Evangelista was wearing her suit, there was nothing left."

River says, "We can increase the mesh-density, dial it up 400%. Make it a tougher meal."

"Ok," the Doctor nods. He starts sonicing someone's suit. I can't really tell whose, because the helmet is on and his back is to me. "800%! Pass it on."

He starts to toss the sonic screwdriver to River, but two things happen. One, he notices me, and that makes him balk. Two, River lets go of me to pull something out of her pocket.

Another sonic screwdriver.

I give it a good look. It has a blue tip, a thick body, and possibly a finger hole?

Well, it's not 11's sonic, that's for sure.

"What's that?" the Doctor asks.

"It's a screwdriver," River answers, calm.

"It's sonic."

"Yeah, I know. Snap!" She runs away from me to start sonicing everyone's spacesuit.

The Doctor takes a second to watch her, then he grabs Donna's hand. He pulls her across the room to me, and takes my hand.

"With me, both of you," he orders. "Come on!"

He tries to pull me, but my legs are jelly. I trip during my first step, falling flat after my second. Growling in frustration, the Doctor picks me up, carrying me like a bride through the archway.

Uh, ok, that's just a bad thought right there.

He starts running. The movement makes me more dizzy. I close my eyes and rest my head against his shoulder.

"Lily," he warns. "I need you to stay awake. Just for a few more minutes."

"But I'm so tired…" I complain. Even talking makes my stomach turn.

"I know," he kisses my forehead. "You've used the vortex manipulator too many times so close together. That thing is very bad for you, you know."

I just moan. I feel like I'm floating.

The running sensation stops suddenly and I feel something cold and smooth against my cheek.

"What are we doing, we're shopping? Is it a good time to shop?" Donna's voice echoes from the fog.

The Doctor's voice makes my stomach jump. Happy jumps. Happy, yippy, skippy jumps. "No talking, just moving! Try it! Right, stand there in the middle. It's a teleport. Stand in the middle. Can't send the others, TARDIS won't recognize them."

He's so dreamy when he's being all control taking and stuff.

"What are you doing?" Donna's voice is all mean and stuff and I don't like it.

The cool smooth thing goes away. Two beanstalks hold me up. "Lily, please say something. Quickly. There isn't time." Something rough and itchy nuzzles my cheek.

I open my eyes. The world is spinning and at the center are two brilliant brown eyes. "You're my Doctor," I say. My lips feel like mush. "Technically 9 is my Doctor, because that's the one I started on, but you're my favorite, because you're David Tennant and you're very, very attractive."

Something rumbles against my chest and something moist presses against my temple. "When you get to the Tardis, get her in bed, Donna. She'll be fine once she can sleep off the effects." I'm laying on something smooth again.

"What are you talking about?" Is Catherine Tate in the room? Oh, I like her!

"Neither of you have a suit, you're not safe!" Isn't David Tennant Scottish? Why does he sound like the 10th Doctor?

"You don't have a suit, so you're in just as much danger as I am and I'm not leaving…"

"Donna! Let me explain."

Everything is so confusing. I blink open my eyes again. I can almost make out the Tardis console room, but then it's gone. Someone is screaming. Is it me?

Yes, I think it is.

Gasping, I sit up in bed. My heart is beating so fast, I'm surprised it isn't bursting out of my chest. Over the rushing of blood in my ears, I take in my surroundings. White curtains surround the bed I'm in. I fall back to my pillow. My nose is itchy. I go to scratch it. But I can't. My arm won't move. I try the other one. Same thing. Something is preventing them from moving.

Something around my wrists.

I'm cuffed to the bed. The hospital bed.

Before I can work up a scream, the curtain tugs back, the metal rings scraping against the metal bar. A woman in a tweed skirt and jacket combo smiles at me. She has dark hair peppered with gray strands. Her hair is pulled back into a bun. The corners of her eyes crinkle as she smiles at me. She's holding a metal clipboard.

"Hello, Lily," she says. She's American. "How are you feeling today?"

"What?" I croak.

"You had quite an episode," she continues, regarding the clipboard.

"What?"

"What's the last thing you remember, Lily?"

"What is going on? Where am I? Who are you?"

She finally puts the clip board down and smiles down at me. It's not a good smile. It's a smile full of pity. "I'm Dr. Smith. You're in MacLean Hospital and you have been here for a while now."

WHAT?


	30. 13: Forest of the Dead Part One

**Yeah, another one already. I felt bad about making everyone wait so long for the last one and this one really wanted to come out. So there.**

* * *

><p><strong>.13.<strong>

**Forest of the Dead**

**Part One**

It's not real. None of it.

Those words echo through my head for weeks. The explanations don't make sense. Apparently, when I left Daniel to go to the bathroom, I had a seizure and hit my head on the sink. I was in a coma for three weeks. When I came to, something in my head wasn't right and I started ranting and raving about the Doctor and the Tardis and everything. So they had to bring me to the psych ward.

The Doctor isn't real. Michael isn't real. River, Martha, Donna, Amy, Rory… all of them. Fiction. A TV show.

I still don't believe them.

I have an over active imagination, I'll give them that, but it just felt too real.

And there is something very familiar about Dr. Moon. He's constantly hovering about, with his little gold glasses. I can't put my finger on it. He rarely actually speaks to me, but he's always there, every time I turn around, there he is. Watching me.

I've lost all sense of time.

"Lily," Ricky says, pulling me out of my daydream. I snap back to reality. Or what they tell me is reality. We're sitting at a light wooden table on uncomfortable fold up wooden chairs. There are lots of tables in here. Lots of other patients are in here, drawing, writing, playing checkers. A flat screen TV is playing _Boy Meets World_ reruns in the corner and someone with a shaved head is sitting on the ugly green couch, laughing, the kind of laughter that is a bit… insane.

Ricky squeezes my hand. "Lily, did you hear what I just said?"

I pull my eyes away from the scene around me. I force a smile. "I'm sorry," I say. I draw my hands back and wipe my nose. "I didn't."

He sighs. He's the only one who visits me now. Every week, he comes here and sits with me, babbling about what's going on outside these padded walls. It's not that my other friends don't want to come. It's just that Ricky's the only one who can really deal with this whole scene. No one else is really… patient enough for me.

"I was saying," he drums his fingers on the table. I stare at this, trying to figure out the rhythm. "That Alexa and James are engaged finally." He fingers keep drumming. "Wait until you see the ring." I think I've figured it out. "It's like a million carats or something." It's pounding in my head now. "She is so lucky." One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

I shove away from the table, almost tripping over my chair. Ricky stands up, eyes wide. He stops tapping, but I can still hear it. His eyes are wide and I don't think he recognizes me anymore.

That look makes me clear my throat. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm so sorry. I just… I need to go."

I turn and flee the room.

Days pass. I've fallen into a slump. I don't get out of bed unless they make me. What's the point? All anyone is going to do is tell me that I'm crazy. And I'm not. I know I'm not. Because I figured it out. It's simple, really.

This is the episode after The Library. The Doctor, the amazing, sweet, though sometimes stupid Doctor, tried to beam Donna and me back to the Tardis, but The Library intervened. I'm stuck in the core of The Library and it's trying to make me feel better by having my real friends here, but I'm still stuck in a mental institution, so it's not doing a very good job.

The second I realize this, I realize that all I have to do it wait. The Doctor will figure it out and then I'll get out of here.

* * *

><p>More days pass.<p>

I'm losing my resolve here.

"Lily," Dr. Smith's voice wakes me from my slumber. She pulls the sheets off my head and stands above me with a soft smile. "Please meet me in my office in eleven minutes." She strides back to the door.

I sit up. That's an odd amount of time. "Huh?" I say.

She turns to me with another smile. "I said, please meet me in my office in ten minutes. I have something special planned that may help you."

Those ten minutes fly. I'm suddenly seated in her office. Dr. Smith is opening her blinds. "Ah, perfect timing," she says, looking out the window. The sun is shining. I think it's fall. "Come with me." The blinds fall back down.

And I'm suddenly walking along side her outside. We're heading towards a picnic table. Someone is seated at it. The person's back is to us. He or she is wearing a black coat.

"Mr. Smith," Dr. Smith calls. The person stands and turns around. It's definitely a he. Some light brown hair flops into his eyes and he pushes it back nervously. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Dr. Jane Smith."

The man grins and shakes Dr. Smith's hand. "Lovely to meet you." He's English.

"This is Lily, the girl I spoke about," Dr. Smith places her hands on my shoulders. Firmly. "Lily, I would like you to meet Matt Smith."

I blink. And blink. And blink.

That face. I know that face, I've touched that face, I've, well, kissed that face. But he just smiles at me and though it's polite, there is no recognition.

"Hello, Lily," he says. He sounds just like him. He offers me a hand to shake. I just stare at it.

Dr. Smith smoothes my hair. "Lily, do you know who this is?"

My stare is making him uncomfortable. I can see him squirm and the light has faded from his eyes.

"Lillian," Dr. Smith says. "Did you hear me ask you a question?"

"Yeah," I say. "It's the Doctor."

The man chuckles. "I play the Doctor on telly, yes, but he's just a character. I'm an actor." He pushes his hair out of his face again.

I don't even know what it say to that.

And then Dr. Smith is gone and the man and I are strolling along the river. Well, Dr. Smith isn't completely gone. She's trailing behind us, far enough that she can't hear what we're saying, but close enough that I can feel her watch us.

"This is harder than I thought it would be," the man mumbles under his breath.

I glance up at him. My heart skips a beat. He's beyond uncomfortable now. "I'm sorry." I stop walking. "But why are you doing this?"

He stops too, though he is a good five feet away from me. In case he needs to run or something. "Doing what?"

"Being here. I'm not crazy." I hold up a finger before he can say anything else. "I get that you're an actor and that the Doctor is just a character. Here, anyway, in this world. But, I was just in a world where the Doctor is real," I close the gap between Matt Smith and myself. It's finally clicking. "Very real. And it all makes sense now. I'm back home now, so there's no reason for anyone to believe me."

He just looks at me like I'm crazy. I don't blame him. All visuals point to me being crazy.

"Anyway," I sigh. "You can leave if you want. The point has been made."

I start walking again.

Amazingly, Matt Smith follows me.

"The Doctor is fiction," he insists. I just roll my eyes. "There can't be a way for him to exist."

I just laugh. "Um, hello," I say. "Do you even pay attention to your job? There's an easy explanation. Parallel universes. Sometimes there are cracks between them and you can travel back and forth, like the Doctor and Rose traveling to Pete's World. And sometimes the cracks are so small, you can't physically travel through them, but people with psychic abilities know about them. That's the root of inspiration. You're not being creative when you're portraying the Doctor. You're just listening to the universe."

Matt Smith is silent for a moment. "Oddly, that makes sense."

"I know," I sigh. "You know, when I was there, I just wanted to get home. Now that I'm home, I wish I were back there."

He looks me up and down. "You don't even sound bonkers when you say that."

I frown at him. "I think calling a crazy person crazy is a little… tacky."

"Sorry," he says. "That was out of line. When I got the call that a psychiatric hospital in America requested my presence to help someone recover, I didn't think it would be like this."

"Like what?"

"Like you come close to convincing me that the rest of the world is crazy and you're perfectly sane."

I grin. Our eyes lock and my stomach jumps. That twinkle is just like the Doctor's.

* * *

><p>It's been a year since I've left the hospital. Oddly, it feels like no time has passed at all. All I had to do was stop talking about the Doctor and his universe and then everyone decided I wasn't crazy anymore and I got to leave.<p>

"Where are we?" I ask, laughing.

The hands over my eyes do not move. An echo of laughter matches my own.

"Just a few more steps," Matt's voice reverberates across the room. Where ever we are, the room is big. And cold. "Ok, perfect." He leans in close and whispers in my ear. "One, two, three, FOUR!" He removes his hands and I blink.

And blink.

We're in the Tardis.

No, wait, stop. No we're not. I spin in a slow circle, taking it all in. We're on set. This isn't the Tardis I know. This is the fake one. Half the room is filled with cameras. Matt's wearing a black pea coat and jeans. Though he looks very nice in that outfit, I miss the bow tie.

"Wow," I say. But the words don't come out as happy as I know he would have liked.

His face falls. "I'm sorry, darling, I thought you would like this. Is it too much?"

I shake my head and wander up the set to the time rotor. I touch the console, half-expecting to feel that tingle and tickle, the Tardis greeting. All I feel is cold metal.

"No, it's great," I say, trying to pack some punch into my tone. He flew me all the way to Wales for this, so I should be happier. "I'm just… surprised."

He appears at my side with two flutes of champagne and a giant grin. "Good," he says, handing me one of the champagne glasses. "Now, one year ago today, we met. Feels like one second ago, doesn't it?" he laughs. I just fake a laugh. He sobers. "That's because we did."

I take a sip of the champagne. "I'm sorry, what?"

"We met just seconds ago." The champagne glass falls from his hand and crashes to the floor. He grabs my arms. "You're in the core of The Library and I'm just a figment of your imagination, someone you trust enough that your mind decided to project me into this world, because I make you feel safe."

I shake my head. "But you're Matt Smith…"

"No, I'm not," he says, straightening a red bow tie. He wasn't wearing that a moment ago. "I'm your mind, Lily. I'm what you want to see, what you have to see." He glances over his shoulder. His black coat has been replaced by brown tweed. "I've got to go before the Moon gets here. Remember, Lily. You're not crazy and you're not home. You're in The Library."

* * *

><p>Gasping, I sit up in bed. My heart is beating so fast, I'm surprised it isn't bursting out of my chest. Over the rushing of blood in my ears, I take in my surroundings. White curtains surround the bed I'm in. I fall back to my pillow. My nose is itchy. I go to scratch it. But I can't. My arm won't move. I try the other one. Same thing. Something is preventing them from moving.<p>

Something around my wrists.

I'm cuffed to the bed. The hospital bed.

Before I can work up a scream, the curtain tugs back, the metal rings scraping against the metal bar. A man with dark skin and gold glasses is standing there. He's wearing a very nice navy suit. He frowns at me for a second, but then smiles. He holds up a metal clip board.

"Hello, Lily," he says. He's English. "How are you feeling today?"

"What?" I croak.

"You had quite an episode," his voice so kind, it's bordering anger.

"What?"

"What's the last thing you remember, Lily?" It's a command, not a question.

"What is going on? Where am I? Who are you?"

He finally puts the clip board down and smiles down at me. It's not a good smile. It's a smile full of…victory. "I'm Dr. Moon. I've been treating you for quite a while. And I think it's time to try something different."

WHAT?


	31. 13: Forest of the Dead Part Two

**And thus concludes this episode. I have to admit, this was a lot of fun. But I'm happy to move on. I got something original next! =)  
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><p><strong>.13.<strong>

**Forest of the Dead**

**Part Two**

"I don't understand," I say.

Dr. Moon gives me another smile, a small smile. He's very calm and polite. "I am Dr. Moon," he repeats. "I've been treating you for quite some time. And then you remembered."

I blink.

And it all comes back to me. I've been here for months, years maybe. The doctors here have been working to get these fantasies out of my mind.

"Oh," I say, breathless. "Dr. Moon. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

He smile grows. "It's no problem, Lily. You've been doing quite well."

I flashback to the counseling sessions with Dr. Moon in his mahogany office with the big windows. To scribbling big blue boxes on large sheets of paper. Burning those drawings in a large bonfire, symbolically removing a blue box that's bigger on the inside from my mind. Group sessions with people with similar problems. The woman with red hair, who is very familiar, features prominently in these group sessions.

I smile, but something about it feels wrong. "Can I go home soon?"

Dr. Moon laughs. "We will see, Lily. How about we go for a walk?"

The next thing I know, we're walking next to a river. I have a brief sense of deja vu, as if I've walked this river with someone else before. Someone with floppy hair. A gentle breeze tousles my hair. I shiver, wrapping my white jacket closer to me. Somewhere over a loudspeaker, my favorite song is playing. At least I think it's my favorite song; I can't really make out the words. The melody is familiar, something soothing, kinda jazzy. It relaxes me.

"How about we take a seat over there?" Dr. Moon points at a lovely seating area a few yards from where we're walking. The chairs are white wicker with gaudy pink floral cushions, but, when I sit on it, the cushion is actually very comfortable. We're quiet a moment, taking in the geese flying above. I stare at the blue sky reflecting off the small pond beside us.

"Anymore dreams about the blue box, the Doctor, time and space?"

Something jumps in the water. It's too cold for frogs.

"How did we get here?" I leave my seat to walk to the pond's edge. The ripples smooth over. I gaze at my reflection.

But that's not me!

"We came down the stairs, out the front door. We passed Mrs. Ali on the way out."

A girl with dark braids thrown over one shoulder stares at me from under the water. No. Not under the water. It's a reflection. But how can that be? She's smirking at me, her eyes dancing with mischief. She blows a kiss at me.

"Who is that?" I whisper.

"Mrs. Ali? You know who she is, Lily."

The girl with the cafe au lait skin fades away. My own reflection stares back, eyes wide with fear and confusion.

I shake my head and turn back to Dr. Moon. He's watching me, waiting.

"Sorry, what was your question again?" I ask.

He frowns. "Are you ok, Lily?"

I glance back at the pond. "Penny in the air," I whisper.

"I beg your pardon?"

I blink and we're next to the river again. We're standing on a small stone bridge with waist high walls. The water is like glass. Dr. Moon is watching me.

I turn to him. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"I was pointing out that fish right there," he says. Indeed, he is pointing at the water. I lean over the wall. I don't see any fish.

But my reflection is not my own. Wild, thick curly dirty blonde hair. I have thin straight hair. That reflection can be only one person.

River Song is staring at me.

"Ok," I say, jumping back. "I don't know what you're doing, but you need to stop it right now."

Dr. Moon frowns. "Perhaps we should go…"

I interrupt before he can finish the sentence. "No, I know who you are and I know where I am." My words are tripping over each other. I don't even breathe. The slightest pause, and he can talk, and then I will forget again. "You're the moon and we're in the database of The Library. I know you're just trying to save me, save everyone who was in The Library before the Vashta Nerada got them, got us. But you're only making it worse. The Doctor is going save the day, but you need to let him do that. You need to send me back so that I can help him."

Dr. Moon's head cocks to the side. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Lily."

"Yes, you can. You can keep everyone else here, but you have to send me back. I can help the Doctor fix it quicker. No one else has to die."

He sighs and gives me a grave look. "I think it's time for plan C. You are a strong one, aren't you?"

And then I wake up.

Gasping, I sit up in bed. My heart is beating so fast, I'm surprised it isn't bursting out of my chest. Over the rushing of blood in my ears, I take in my surroundings. White curtains surround the bed I'm in. I fall back to my pillow. My nose is itchy. I go to scratch it. But I can't. My arm won't move. I try the other one. Same thing. Something is preventing them from moving.

Something around my wrists.

I'm cuffed to the bed. The hospital bed.

Before I can work up a scream, the curtain tugs back, the metal rings scraping against the metal bar. A man with dark skin and gold glasses is standing there. He's wearing a very nice navy suit. He frowns at me for a second, but then smiles. He holds up a metal clip board.

"Hello, Lily," he says. He's English. "How are you feeling today?"

I don't say anything. I've been through this before, I know it.

"You had quite an episode," his voice so kind, it's bordering anger.

I just glare at him.

"What's the last thing you remember, Lily?" It's a command, not a question.

"I've tried being nice." My voice is low, dangerous. "I've tried warning you. Now it's time to really let out my inner psychopath."

He finally puts the clip board down and smiles down at me. It's not a good smile. He's angry. "You're not helping your recovery."

I sit up, jerking against my restraints. "There is nothing to recover from! You're just a stupid computer! You've uploaded everyone here into the computer to save them, but you're not saving me, because there is nothing to save!" Somehow, miraculously, my restraints have disappeared. Not just the restraints, though. The whole room is gone. It's just Dr. Moon and myself inside a bare white room. I feel like I'm in a Mac/PC commercial.

"Please explain," Dr Moon says. His voice isn't as, well, human as before. It sounds like one of the automated voices from a GPS that's giving directions.

"I can't remember all the details, but at some point, the Doctor will destroy the Vashta Nerada and then he'll figure out how to get everyone out of here."

"This is not possible," he says. "Your memory is corrupt. I must begin the defragmentation process." He advances, face blank.

I back away from him. "No. No, no, no. Please don't. You don't have to do this!"

My back hits a wall. Dr. Moon reaches out for my head.

I can't let him do this. If he touches me, it'll be bad. Really bad. So I do the first thing I think of.

I knee him in the balls.

Though he does double over, it doesn't have the same effect as if he were a real man. You know, no high pitch voice or vomiting. I manage to dodge past him. I run around the room, pressing on walls, trying to find a door. But there is no door. In fact, are the walls getting smaller, getting closer together?

I turn around, the gasp, pressing as close to the wall as I can.

Dr. Moon is there. In fact, many Dr. Moons are there. At least twenty perfect copies of him are staring at me with the same blank gaze.

That's when something inside me snaps. Something that has been waiting to snap for a long time now. The knowledge almost makes me stumble. It's that kind of a thing. And I really did not see it coming.

Though, it makes sense, when you really think about it.

"Seriously?" I say, hands on my hips. "Are you seriously ripping off _The Matrix_ right now? I mean, I haven't even seen that movie and I know what you're doing."

"You must be defragmented," the Dr. Moons chorus.

I roll my eyes. "You're also a blatant rip off of the Cybermen. _You will be deleted_," I imitate the tone of the Cybermen, voice nasally and unemotional. "Really?"

The Dr. Moons take a step forward.

I step forward as well. "Ok, here's the thing. You made a mistake. A huge, big mistake. The kind of mistake that a genius computer thingy like you shouldn't make." My voice lowers into something dangerous. "You played with my mind. And by doing that, you unlocked something I didn't know existed. Until now, that is. And that something, well, it's really pissed off. And it's psychotic, because that's what it was raised to be." I close my eyes a moment and let instinct take over. I bend my knees into a crouch. "And the penny drops."

The Dr. Moons come after me. I swing up, punching one, kicking another, in an almost dizzying display. I don't even have time to think. I let instinct take over. It's a symphony of flesh hitting (imaginary) flesh. A ballet of kicks and grunts and punches. A cacophony of destruction.

I grin, wiping blood off my face. I didn't even feel the punch that broke my nose. I head butt one of the remaining Dr. Moons. As soon as one falls, another replaces him. There is no way I can win this battle.

Oh, this is just too much fun!

I don't now how much time has passed. I'm sweating, I'm breathing heavy, and neither of those things really make sense, because this is a fake place. It's all in my mind. So why am I tired?

The moment I collapse, all the Dr. Moons fade back into one.

I'm spitting blood. The coppery taste fills my mouth. I struggle to breathe. I'm shaking from adrenaline and possibly some injuries. But, damn, do I feel amazing.

I giggle and roll over to my back.

"It is time to defragment," Dr. Moon looms over me.

I spit a wad of blood at him. "Enough with the defrag, dude." I roll back to my stomach and shakily stand back up. "It's not gonna happen." I trip over myself a bit, but I do manage to stand on my own two feet, despite the pain in my right foot.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I say, examining my left hand. The white room is growing whiter, if that is even possible. My injuries are fading away. I smile wider. "Because you just lost."

Dr. Moon looks up at the ceiling. And then he fizzles into nothing.

The light is getting brighter and brighter. Smiling, I close my eyes as the light gets too bright.

* * *

><p>When I open my eyes again, I'm back in the little shop in The Library. There are so many people here, so many of them. And yet, not the one that I'm looking for. I push everyone, running for the exit.<p>

I keep running, past thousands of books, past people, through the brightly lit hallways, down staircases. I don't know where I'm going until I end up there.

It's a dark room with a weird wall. It looks like it might be the mainframe of The Library. And handcuffed to a pillar is the Doctor. He's staring at the weird wall, looking dejected.

I stop running for a split second. I'm almost crying in happiness.

"Hello, sweetie," I say. He turns to look at me, shocked. I fling myself into his arms. The free arm hugs me tight. I'm probably choking him, what with how hard I'm clinging to his neck, but I really don't care. I've never been so happy to see him.

"What did you just say?" he says after a moment. He pushes my head up so that he can look at me. He pushes hair out of my eyes.

I blink. "I just said hello. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. Which is weird. Did I jump time?" I realize how close I am to him and, blushing, I crawl out of his lap. "The last thing I remember is River sonicing the spacesuits to make them stronger or something." I rub my temples. A dull pain is forming behind my eyes.

"I sent you and Donna back to the Tardis, but it went wrong, and you were both saved in the mainframe of The Library."

I shake my head, trying to collect my thoughts. Right. Ok. I've seen this episode before. Something about Donna in a fantasy world. It's all a bit fuzzy, really. There's only one thing I remember for sure.

"So River's gone then," I say, though it's unnecessary. The pain in the Doctor's eyes is proof enough. I shake my head. "I tried to warn her."

"You knew?" His voice is too unemotional to be true.

I nod. "Yeah…" I clear my throat. "I tried to warn her, but she's River, so she didn't listen. I'm sorry, Doctor."

He doesn't say anything for a moment. Doesn't even look at me. "Who was she to me?"

"Wrong tense, Doctor." A corner of my mouth quirks up. "I can't tell you. And you already know. She said enough, didn't she? A mouthful, in a way." He keeps staring at what I assume is the last spot River stood. "She knew your name, Doctor. She's important."

He breaks his gaze and then turns back to me. The clouds behind his eyes fade away after a moment. He smiles at me. "I'm glad you're ok."

"Me too," I crawl over to the two sonic screwdrivers and River's diary. I pause, my hand over the diary. A lot of answers are in there. But I take the sonic, the current sonic, and hand it to the Doctor. He takes it and sonics the handcuffs. He stands, then offers me a hand. I place my hand in his and he pulls me up. And he doesn't let go of my hand.

"I thought I lost you," he whispers. "You and Donna."

I smile and do something I've yet to allow myself to do. I caress his face. "Nah. I knew you'd save us. That's what I kept telling Dr. Moon."

"Dr. Moon?"

I drop my hand. My head hurts again. "I have no idea…"

The Doctor takes my chin and makes me look at him. I swallow. He doesn't say anything, which is amazing for him.

He does something else with his lips instead.

* * *

><p>Later, much later, the Doctor, Donna, and myself are standing on the same balcony we were at the beginning of this adventure. The three of us are all somber. My lips still tingle from the Doctor's kiss, but I kinda feel bad about it. Way to be kissed by your best friend's husband not minutes after she sacrificed herself to save you and thousands of other people. Something about that doesn't seem right.<p>

And I'm still not sure if River Song is really my best friend.

"Your friend…" Donna says. "Professor Song... She knew you in the future, but she didn't know me. What happens to me? Because when she heard my name, the way she looked at me…"

I force myself not to look at Donna. I don't want to give anything away.

The Doctor picks up River's diary. "Donna… This is her diary. My future. I could look you up. What do you think? Shall we peek at the end?"

"No!" I grab for the diary, but Donna beats me to it.

She places it back on the banister. "Spoilers, right?"

The Doctor looks at me. "Right."

Donna also looks at me. I turn away to stare at the city. A second later, the Doctor is between Donna and myself. He places a hand on our shoulders.

"Come on. The next chapter's this way."

We're not even halfway up the staircase when the Doctor suddenly breaks away from us.

I smile.

"What is that mad spaceman doing?" Donna exclaims.

"Saving River."

"What?"

Donna stomps towards the Doctor. I follow, close behind her.

"Why? Why would I give her my screwdriver?" The Doctor is examining the sonic. "Why would I do that? Thing is, future me had years to think about it, all those years to think of a way to save her, and what he did was give her a screwdriver! Why would I do that? Do you know, Lily?"

Before I can even answer, he opens the sonic. A green light is flashing.

"Oh! Oh! Oh, look at that! I'm very good!"

Donna is confused. "What have you done?"

"Saved her!" He spins around and gallops away from us.

Donna looks at me. "Saved her?"

I shrug. "You know how when Miss Evangelista died, she kept repeating her last words. The ghost thingy?"

"Yeah."

"Well, the same thing's happened to River. He's going to load her into The Library. Basically, he's going to save her."

Donna grabs my shoulder. "How do you know this? You weren't there when Miss Evangelista died."

I bite my lip. And then I shrug. "Spoilers."


	32. 14:  Twilight Part One

**For once Lily stays someplace for more than one episode! I know, I'm shocked too. Please enjoy this episode. I grinned the entire time I was writing it. If it weren't so late and if I didn't have to work tomorrow, I'd keep right on writing. As it is, I went 1,000 words over my goal in this section and I would have kept going, but the place I stopped is perfect. Now you all have to wonder until the next section.**

**PS- I wrote a bit about this episode on my blog, so anyone who is interested in reading. sarbrookDOTblogspotDOTcom  
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><p><strong>.14.<strong>

**Twilight**

**Part One**

We've been floating in the time vortex for a few days now. I think. It's hard to tell time in the Tardis, which, come to think of it, is pretty ironic. The Doctor has spent the better part of those days tinkering with the Tardis, mumbling about "maintenance" and "fixing" and "wibblies." Donna and I have amused ourselves by exploring the Tardis, swimming in the library (yes, there really is a swimming pool in there), and regaling each other with tales of the Doctor. Clearly I knew most of hers, but getting her take on them? Oh man. I think I pulled a muscle from laughing so hard. Especially when she would get certain details wrong. For example, her description about Jenny's "birth," so to speak, made it sound much more violent than it actually was. Apparently the Doctor had to be held down by fifty men so they could get a sample of this Time Lord DNA to make a super soldier and it took another twenty to keep Donna out of the way. I don't know where she got that from, but I didn't tell her that I knew the true story. Hers sounded more impressive.

At the moment, however, we've finally become bored with all the waiting. Watching the Doctor maniacally switch out wires and re-route plugs can only hold so much amusement. Donna is lounging on the jump seat reading a book while I'm on my stomach next to the Doctor, watching him wrestle with a particularly stubborn wire.

"So, where to now, Doctor?" Donna asks.

"Hand me the timey-wimey wire," the Doctor instructs me.

I look at the five wires next to me. They're all a variation of the color white. "Uh… which one is that again?" I ask.

He sonics something. "The pearl one." I raise an eyebrow. They all look white to me. Well, maybe that one is a little more… yellowy. I pick it up and thread it over to him. He pushes it back. "No, that's eggshell. The pearl wire!"

I discard the "eggshell wire" so I don't mix it up with the other white ones. I choose one that is maybe a bit more pink than the rest. "This one?"

He groans. "No, that's cotton." The wire hits me in the head. Thank god it's thin and weighs about nothing.

"Cotton? That's a fabric, not a color!" I toss the offending object over my shoulder.

"Doctor, where are we going next?" Donna asks again, sounding more frustrated.

He ignores her. "Cotton is a plant, actually. And a color."

"Right, because when I learned the rainbow, it's red, orange, yellow, _cotton_, green…"

"Just hand me the pearl wire!"

"How can I tell? They're all white!"

"It's the one that's more gray than the rest."

I grab one at random and shove it at him. "This one?"

The wire is pushed back. "That's clearly ivory! There's not a spot of gray in that!"

"How am I supposed to know? White is white!"

"I thought all females knew the difference between pearl, cotton, eggshell, and ivory!"

Growling, I do the smart thing. I eenie, meenie, miney, mo it. I hope the end of the wire pokes him in the eye. "There!" I sniff.

He bops me on the head with it. "Five wires, and you manage to choose wrong four times. That's buff. See how it's got a bit of beige?"

I thread him the supposedly pearl wire. "I'm never helping you again, Mr. Interior Designer."

"It's not my fault you're colorblind."

"Oi!" Donna shouts. "Will you two stop bickering like an old married couple and answer my question?" A book smacks my butt.

"Ow!" I cry, rubbing my bottom. "What did I do?"

Donna doesn't sound a bit sorry. "Sorry, Lily. I was aiming for alien boy." I crawl out from under the console in time to see Donna kick the Doctor's foot. Something crashes. By the sound of his shouting, I think the Doctor just hit his head. "Oh, you big baby, you deserve it. Now answer my question."

The Doctor rolls out from under the console on his back using what I think is the same things mechanics use to work under cars. He's rubbing the top of his head. "What was that for?"

"And we're not an old married couple," I grumble.

The Doctor gives me a surprised look. "Who says we're an old married couple?"

I nod toward Donna. "She does."

The Doctor turns his high eyebrows toward her. "Do we really sound like an old married couple?" His voice is high pitch in disbelief.

"Yes! You lot sound like my parents!"

The Doctor turns back to me, eyebrows still in his hairline, and I blush. An image of River Song and 11 kissing in "Let's Kill Hitler" comes to mind. Sure, she was trying to kill him at the time, but everyone knows that River and the Doctor are, you know, together. There's really no room for me in THAT batch of complicated. As much as 11 made it sound like there is room for me…

I still haven't figured that one out.

The Doctor winks at me and, if possible, my cheeks go from on fire to a complete inferno. Well, there's no harm in flirting, right?

"What was your question, Donna?" On second thought, there is a lot of harm in flirting. I stand and focus my attention on Donna.

"Thank you, Lillian," she says with as much dignity as she can muster. "I was asking where we are going next. I'm bored."

The Doctor stands, rolling the little cart back under the console. Apparently that's where it stays? I never noticed. "I was thinking a trip to Midnight!" He flashes a grin and starts running around the console, pushing button, pulling levers, etc.

My stomach drops. Please no. Please not Midnight.

"Midnight?" Donna doesn't sound pleased. "Why would we go someplace dark?"

"No, Midnight is a planet," the Doctor explains. "Glaciers of diamonds! Waterfalls of sapphire! Forests of emeralds!"

Donna brightens. "Sounds lovely!"

"It is," the Doctor agrees. He pushes up a lever, then leans against it. "You can't go outside, though. There's no atmosphere and the sun produced xtonic radiation. You wouldn't even be able to step foot on the surface; you'd be vaporized in a second."

Donna's face falls. "Sounds horrid."

The Doctor raises a finger. "But! There is a luxury palace that hovers on Midnight. We could pop in for a holiday. The spas are second to none."

Donna nods. "Right then. Take us there, spaceman!"

They both turn to me. I try to hide the dismal look I'm sure is on my face. "Sounds great…"

The Doctor frowns at me. I force a smile. He apparently takes it as a real one. "Brilliant! Allons-y!"

I grab hold of the console before the Tardis can even begin to shudder. The familiar tingle makes me smile. The Tardis buzzes happily as the Doctor takes off the hand break. I already have my footing as we start to jerk around. The loud whooshing, like heavy breathing, starts. Moments later, we land with a big thud.

The Doctor grabs his coat off one of the corals and sticks his head out the door.

"Oh, that's not right," he says to himself, voice low. He steps out of the door before we can even question him.

Donna and I share a look. I start out before her, popping out the door and into a dim world. Definitely not Midnight. Thank god.

I can't see much. It's not dark, exactly, but it's not light either. It's more… between the two. Like the moment the sun sets. The sky is still a bit light, but not really enough to see by. We're in what I think is a field. Something that feels like grass is underfoot. The air is wet, foggy. I look up. There are no stars to be seen. The sky must be overcast. Or the fog is that bad.

The sound of the sonic screwdriver fills the moist air. I walk with my hands forward, though I can barely see past my fingertips. I follow what appears to be a blue light. The sound of the sonic gets a bit louder. My fingers touch damp fabric and a hard body. The Doctor. I take a step forward and I can see him now. He's facing away from me, staring at the sonic.

"Where are we?" I ask.

He turns, frowning. I squint. I hate this time of day. I feel like I can never see anything. "I'm not sure," he says. "I'm not getting a reading and I can't see the hand in front of my face."

Joking, I take a step closer and wave a millimeter away from his nose. "Hello! I'm right here!" I tease.

He grabs my wrist and forces my arm down. It's then I realize how close we are standing. A whisper of the fabric of his jacket brushes against me. I swallow and step back. He pulls my wrist so I'm forced to take a step back towards him again.

"What are you doing?" My voice is little more than a whisper. I raise my toes so I'm closer to him. Just a taste…

"I have no idea…" His breath caresses my lips. They are just barely touching when…

"Oi!" Donna shouts. "Where the bloody hell are you two?"

The Doctor lifts his head and I drop back to my flat foot. We step apart as he pulls something out of his jacket. A flashlight. "Over here, Donna." He lifts up the light, the beam reflecting off the fog.

Donna stops over to us, grumbling under her breath. "Thought I lost you. This fog is mad, yeah? I don't even know where the Tardis is now."

"It's just over here," the Doctor says, leading the way. "Don't know why she landed here. Donna, take my hand. Lily, take hers. I don't want to lose you both in this fog."

I take Donna's warm hand and allow her to guide me forward. And forward. And forward. We follow the beam of the Doctor's flashlight, but it's little help in the fog, which, somehow, seems to have grown thicker. I think I've seen this movie before…

After a good five minutes of walking, I bump into Donna, who has suddenly stopped. The Doctor shines the beam of light in all directions.

"What's going on?" Donna asks. "Why have we stopped? Don't tell me you lost the Tardis!"

The Doctor shines the light in my face. "Lily, we've lost the Tardis."

Donna smacks his arm. "What?"

"You said not to tell you, so I told Lily," the Doctor's voice goes up an octave. "And 'Ow,' by the way."

I drop Donna's hand. "Of course you lost the Tardis. We're stuck in the middle of fog and I'm wearing a skirt. I seriously need to have a talk with the Tardis once we find her. She needs to stop putting me in skirts and start giving me survival gear." I tug the hem of my short denim skirt a bit lower, as if that's going to help. At least I'm wearing deep purple legging and hiking boots. I should have grabbed a sweater before I left the Tardis. This gray tee shirt is not keeping the chill at bay at all. My arms are prickled with goose bumps.

The beam of light is closer. "Donna, hold this," the Doctor says, handing her the flashlight.

Donna takes it. "What am I, your servant?"

The Doctor shrugs out of his tan overcoat. "Here, wear this." He holds it out for me to put on.

I give is a wary look. "Doctor, no offense, but you're a twig. I'm a branch. I doubt it's going to fit."

"Just take the jacket, Lily," he says.

Sighing, I shove my arms into the sleeves, waiting to show him how it's not going to fit. I expect the arms to feel like sausage casings. At least we can have a good laugh about it. But, as I slide the jacket on, it fits perfectly. He adjusts the collar for me and pulls my loose hair out so it spreads outside the jacket.

I blush. "Ok, maybe you're bigger than you look."

"Nah, it's from the best tailor in the universe. Meant to fit the wearer perfectly." Is it just me or did he just spend a little too much time smoothing out my hair?

I raise an eyebrow, turning to him. "Was that a compliment or an insult?" I tease.

Donna weighs in. "Sounds like a bit of both, really."

Moment broken. The Doctor clears this throat. "Right," he says, marching forward. "To the Tardis."

I clutch hands with Donna. Because I'm at the back, I discretely inhale the scent on the jacket. I don't know how to describe it. It's like a cross between the best smelling cologne I've ever smelled, warm air after a light rainfall, and space dust. I don't even know what space dust smells like, but I bet it smells a lot like the Doctor's coat. My stomach jumps a little.

We walk for a few more minutes, possibly in circles, the Doctor muttering the whole time, Donna complaining half the time, me being thankful we're at least not on Midnight (yet). Suddenly, we step out of the fog. There's no other way to describe it. One second, there is fog. The next, the air is clear.

And in front of us is a big wrought iron gate. Behind the gate, on top of a large hill, more like a cliff really, is a giant house, at least four stories high. The windows, for which there are many, are dimly light, as if by candlelight. Tree skeletons are scattered along the yard. It's brighter here than in the fog, but it's still gray, there's still just not enough light.

"Let me guess," I say as we all stare at the gate and the house beyond. "We're going to walk into Dracula's castle."

The Doctor looks back at me. I know that look. There is a bright, child-like enthusiasm. "Well," he drawls. "I never could resist a scary mansion."

Donna crosses her arms. "No. We are going to turn back and find the Tardis."

"In that fog? We could be lost for days." The Doctor points behind us, the shakes his head, turning back to the gate. "No, we're going to have to wait until the fog clears. Besides, they have candles in the windows. Everyone knows that means they'll open their home to guests."

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, then open my eyes again. The Doctor is staring at Donna and I with a pleading look in his eye. He reminds me of a three year old. Donna and I share a look. We know this is a battle that we can't win.

"Fine," I relent. "But if I'm killed by a vampire, I'm so haunting your ass."

Grinning brightly, the Doctor pushes the gate open. We follow him through the gate and up the path to the front door. I couldn't tell from so far away, but it's actually not a scary mansion at all. The house is really all glass and the floors stacked up in a very cool, futuristic, Jetsons sort of way. The whole house glows with soft lights.

We don't even have to knock on the door. Someone steps onto the walkway and raises an arm to us.

"Hello," a deep male voice calls. "Caught in the storm?"

I look up. I don't see any rain.

"The fog, you mean?" the Doctor says. He nods his head at the man.

The man.

Oh man.

My jaw drops. Seriously. The man has bright blonde hair, the kind that Rapunzel would be jealous over. His face is sharp, his teeth perfectly white. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting a human. And not one so gorgeous.

"You're not from around here, are you?" the man smiles at Donna and me. I almost faint. That is the best smile I have ever seen. "I am Kyle. Please come in."

He opens the door for us and we brush past him. I blush as his eyes linger on me. We enter the foyer, which is like a frame for the amazing glass staircase.

But it's not really the staircase that catches my eye.

It's the guy standing on it.

He's leaning against the banister as if he hasn't a care in the world. His hair is bronze, as if each strand were caste by hand. His jaw is defined as if someone took a chisel to is. He really does look like a perfect statue. His golden eyes pin me to the spot. My heart starts to beat faster than it's ever beat before, so fast I feel like I'm going to faint from the speed of the blood pumping through my veins.

"Hey," he says. His eyes are indescribable. The look is both tragic and come-hither. He walks, no, floats down the three stairs it takes for him to reach me. He takes my hand and presses a kiss to it. His skin is cool compared to my flushed state "I'm Ethan." His lips linger and, if possible, my heart flutters even more.

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Hello! I'm the Doctor!" he pops his head in between us, grinning. I jump at the interruption. Ethan smiles crookedly and drops my hand. "This is Lily and that's Donna. Thank you for inviting us in, but we must be going now. I just remembered that we have a…thing… with the… person… from… that place. Cheers!" The Doctor takes my hand and tries to drag me to the door. I can't take my eyes off Ethan. I am literally rooted to the spot.

I don't wanna leave!

"Why the hurry?" Kyle says, standing next to Donna. I manage to rip my eyes off of Ethan to watch Donna visibly quake at Kyle's presence. It's like we're talking to celebrities or something.

"Lily, Donna, come on. I made a mistake coming here." The Doctor tugs at my hand, but I don't move. "Lily!" he growls.

"It's nice here," I say. "I don't wanna go back out in the fog."

The Doctor takes my chin and turns me to face him. I pout and try to break away from him, but he's too strong. He forces me to look at him. "Lily, look at me, sweetheart. That's a girl. Look in my eyes." I gaze into those hot chocolate eyes, I feel his warm body close to mine, and the smokiness in my head fades. "You are in danger. You and Donna both. We need to leave."

"Why?" my voice is a little stronger. I breathe in deeply and smell the Doctor's scent. It helps to clear my mind. But now I'm just confused.

"You were right," he says, voice grave. "They're vampires."


	33. 14:  Twilight Part Two

**Ok, this is a little shorter than I have been posting, but if I kept going, I wouldn't have stopped writing. And I do have my limits. I really wanted to get this out, so the ending might be a little weird, but for once it's not a cliffhanger, so you're welcome. lol.**

**Oh, and I answered a couple questions on my blog today and I would love to answer more. So ask them! sarbrookDOTblogspotDOTcom  
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**Twilight**

**Part Two**

Three thing happen in quick succession.

First, Donna screams. Second, the Doctor lets go of me and runs to her. Third, I burst out laughing.

I can't help it. I know it's the wrong reaction, but come on. How absurd! Vampires? Like, for real? Vampires. I drop to the floor from laughing, tears streaming. My stomach cramps up, but I don't care. I can't stop laughing. The thought of Ethan and Kyle as vampires has somehow broken the spell that I was under. The saddest part is that it makes sense. The fog. The giant gate, the walkway lined by dark, skeleton-like trees. The house made of glass. The candle light. My intense reaction to Ethan, who, come to think of it, looks like the lamest vampire I can think of.

Oh, Jesus, please don't tell me they sparkle in sunlight. I will shoot myself in the face.

"Let her go!" the Doctor orders, voice strong and gruff. That weakens my laughter. That's the tone he uses when facing Daleks and Cybermen and the Beast. The Oncoming Storm voice.

"I'm not the one you should be telling to let go," Kyle says, voice urgent and worried.

I try to stifle my laughing, wiping my eyes to see what's happening. I'm on my hands and knees at this point, so I sit back, still kneeling. The site before me is… confusing, to say the least.

The Doctor has his arms wrapped around Donna's waist, holding her in a tight bear hug, trying to pull her away from Kyle, who's pushing at her shoulders. Donna, on the other hand, is clawing at Kyle's torso, trying to get a grip on him. She's ranting like a lunatic, shouting unintelligibly. She sounds like a pre-teen at a Justin Bieber concert.

That's a wee bit unexpected.

Ethan's husky voice is touched with contempt. "You didn't put on your blocker before you answered the door, did you?"

"I didn't know they would be _human_," Kyle saying, the words strangled. Donna's hands have somehow wrapped around his neck. "Right then. Donna, I'm sorry about this."

Donna suddenly slumps in the Doctor's arms. Kyle blocks her from falling forward, gathering her so her head is resting on his shoulder. The Doctor jerks her away from him, setting her down gently on the marble floor, though still propping up her upper body.

"What have you done?" the Doctor growls.

I take a step forward, but bump chests with Ethan, who's blocking my way. I look up, stopping before I reach those butterscotch eyes, just in case he tries to glamour me or something. What? I've seen the movies, I've read the books, and I'm quite knowledgeable in the Buffyverse. I'm covering my bases here.

Ethan grabs my upper arms. "It's not what you think."

Oh, yeah, that's reassuring.

"Let me go," I command his black tee shirt, trying to jerk out of his grip. I might as well be trying to move a marble statue. Yup, vampires have super strength.

At the same time, Kyle is trying to explain himself. "We were not expecting human company," Kyle says. His actually does sound out of sorts. I watch him over Ethan's wide shoulder. Ethan is staring at me. I will ignore it. "So I was not prepared."

"Kyle," Ethan says, voice low. He's still watching me. "Go put on your blocker before this one catches a whiff of you. I'll explain."

"Blocker?" the Doctor and I say in unison. The Doctor continues, "What kind of blocker?"

Kyle backs away from the scene, disappearing around a corner where the glass is frosted. His shadow fades from view. Ethan drops his hands, folding his arms as he moves to stand beside me. I take a couple steps away.

"We are eterziel," he says.

The Doctor raises an eyebrow. "I heard the eterziel were vanquished in the Battle of Sun's Edge."

Ethan shakes his head. "The eterziel were defeated by the plasmavores, but we were not killed off. We ran until we found a planet that could sustain us."

I raise my hand. "Uh, stupid human doesn't know what the smart aliens are talking about."

The Doctor, still supporting Donna, doesn't even look at me. "So you found Twilight, a planet that is constantly neither dark or light. Perfect for eterziel, except one thing. You're predators. Why aren't you preying on Lily right now?"

I think my brain exploded from that one. I take a few more steps away from Ethan, though a part of me still wants to take a few steps closer. He watches me, amusement flickering in his gold eyes.

Ah, crap, I looked into them.

"It's not polite to eat guests," he quips, something edging towards a smile straining the corners of his mouth. "And we're vegetarians."

"HA!" I bark, then cover my mouth with both hands. Two sets of surprised eyes, one amber, one chocolate, glare at me. I clear my throat and drop my hand. "Sorry. Did you just say your vegetarians? Vegetarian vampires? Are you intentionally being lame or are you like Stephanie Meyer writing about vampires with no fangs who sparkle in sunlight and brood all the time?"

"Lillian," the Doctor growls.

I turn to him. He's angry, that's for sure, but I can't let this one go. "What? Vampires without fangs are lame! Fangs are the best part! What's the point in sucking blood if you don't have fangs!"

The Doctor looks at me as if he wants to strangle me.

Ethan actually does smile this time, and, despite the fact he's clearly mocking me, I get a little weak in the knees. "We do not partake in blood. Your… friend was both exaggerating and generalizing, though his intention in saving you and Donna is admirable. The eterziel, for want of better expression, consume souls."

I blink about a thousand times. "So, non-blooding drinking vampires on a planet called Twilight suck souls for sustenance? There's a metaphor in there somewhere."

"I do not understand."

I shake my head. "Don't worry about it. It's really not important."

Donna takes that moment to wake up. "What…? What happened? Where am I?" She looks up at the Doctor, who's smiling at her. She smacks his arms away. "Oi, paws off, alien boy!" The Doctor lets her go. She scrambles to her feet. "What just happened? Why was I on the floor?"

The Doctor stands. "You were… attacking Kyle. I believe he made you sleep in order to… get away from you."

Over 900 years old, the smartest person in the universe, and that's how he puts it? The sound of Donna's slap is not surprising.

"Can someone ELSE please explain to me?" Donna asks, hands on her hips.

Ethan takes over. "There is an element in our pheromones that make it easier to attract prey. It stops their flight instinct. Unfortunately, humans are very susceptible, and if we do not block the pheromones, well, humans attack us, because they can't help it. They want us too much, more than is healthy."

I can't take this. I go over to the stairs and sit down. The jokes are piling up and I don't even know where to begin. Oh well. They'd be lost on this crowd anyway.

"How do you block the pheromones?" I decide to ask.

As if on cue, Kyle walks back in, wearing what appears to be a silver watch on his wrist, one identical to Ethan's, which I just noticed he was wearing. What? I was too busy trying to not stare at him, and if I was staring at him, I was focusing on the face.

The Doctor takes out his black rimmed glasses, putting them on as he steps toward Kyle. "Mind if I take a look at that?" he says, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and grabbing Kyle's arm before he can respond. He sonics it for a second, then beams. "Oh, brilliant! It works like a perception filter, only instead of making you not look, it makes you not smell. _Well_," he drops Kyle's arm. "You still smell, your brain just reads it differently. It's perfect camouflage for an eterziel."

"Et-her-what now?" Donna asks.

"Et-err-zeel," the Doctor enunciates. "Literally eaters of the soul."

Donna's head drops dangerously and her lips purse. "Eaters of the soul?"

The Doctor strolls around Kyle, studying him like a specimen. "It's a bit of a misnomer, actually. They suck energy out of living things."

I snort. Everyone looks at me. "Sounds like my grandmother," I joke.

No one laughs.

"Geez," I mumble. "Tough crowd."

"What do you mean by vegetarians?" The Doctor has moved on to Ethan now.

Ethan answers, keeping a wary gaze on the Doctor. "We consume mostly plants, sometimes small game. Little grows in Twilight, but what does has strong energy. We don't wish to hurt anyone, but we cannot help who we are. You are safe here, Doctor."

"Hmm," the Doctor takes his glasses off, stopping so he's between myself and Ethan. I can't help but notice the distinct protector stance he has taken. "Eterziel live in clans of, what, at least ten. Where is the rest of your clan?"

"Hunting," Ethan answers, puffing up.

"For?"

Ethan almost smirks. There's no other way to describe it. "You do not trust us, Doctor?"

The Doctor slowly shakes his head. "I have met many eterziel in my life. Haven't trusted one of them. They always let you down. Especially when females are involved."

I stand. "Females?"

The Doctor doesn't answer, instead he walks right up to me and takes my hand, then leads me to Donna. "We are going now, thank you for your brief hospitality." He grabs Donna's hand as well and starts for the door. I don't like the tightness in his stance.

"I wouldn't go out there," Kyle warns. The Doctor keeps walking. "Not until They are gone."

I stop. Donna stops. The Doctor tries to keep going, but together Donna and I halt his progress.

"They?" Donna asks. "Who are they?"

"The Storm," Kyle answers.

I turn to him. "Care to explain?"

"The Storm is coming. It is not safe outside our house until the Storm ends. That's why there is so much fog. It's always foggy before a Storm."

The Doctor takes a deep breath, then drops our hands. I glance over my shoulder; his face is grim. "What is the Storm?"

Kyle pauses a moment. "We are not the only eterziel on Twilight."

I stomp my foot. "Ok, Mr. Cryptic Pants, can you maybe answer the question directly instead of being all vague and stuff?"

Kyle steps forward. "The Storm are the eldest of the eterziel, the ones who cannot help their urges and in fact delight in them. They mix pain with their meals and they do not limit themselves to anything. They will consume all life forms, even their own race. They consider themselves the greatest of all eterziel. If you value the lives of your companions, you will remain here until the Storm has passed."

The Doctor sounds dangerous. "When will the Storm pass?"

"We have no way of knowing."

The Doctor considers this, tipping his head to one side. "We could try to make a run for it. No, the fog is too thick, there is no way we can find the Tardis. We might have to ride out the Storm." He starts investigating the walls. "Will this keep them out?"

My heart is starting to thump loudly. I hook arms with Donna, who's fairing about as well as I am. So, you know, not well at all.

"We have kept them out for years, but it may come to a battle," Ethan strides to the Doctor's side. I catch myself staring at his bottom as he walks. I shake my head to break my gaze. "Your females can stay in the safe house with ours."

The Doctor balks. "Keep my friends for an extended period of time alone with female eterziel? No thank you, they'll be safer with me. I understand you don't consume higher life forms, but accidents can happen and I will not put my friends into that kind of danger."

"Ooo, we're considered high life forms," Donna whispers to me. As a tension breaker, it works. I crack a smile.

Kyle and Ethan share an unreadable look, then nod. "Very well," Ethan answers. "We have time before the Storm comes. There are two more warning signs."

"What are they?" Donna asks.

"First, the coming of the crow," Kyle says. "Then… the wind."

Ok, sure, whatever that means. Can he only speak in riddles?

"Come," Ethan's eyes are on me again. My skin tingles. "Let's go to the parlor. It's more comfortable than standing in the hallway."

This is a hallway? It looks like a grand foyer in a palace!

Ethan brushes past me, the fabric of his shirt whispering against my jacket. Er, I mean, the Doctor's jacket. I didn't even realize that I still had it on. I take it off, draping it across my arm, as the Doctor follows Ethan, taking my hand in the process. I reach for Donna's, but she's too busy staring at Kyle to notice.

"Sorry about earlier. I wasn't myself," I hear her say as we all walk up the stairs.

The Doctor's thumb absently caresses my skin, which make it really hard to eavesdrop on Donna and Kyle, and I have a perfect specimen of manhood leading us up the stairs, so I am all kinds of distracted.

"It's not your fault," Kyle says.

The Doctor squeezes my hand. "You ok?" he asks, voice low. He bends over so only I can hear, as if we're sharing a secret.

I nod. "Yeah, sure, perfectly fine. We're stuck in a house with restrained killers while maniac killers stalk the night. What could possibly be wrong?"

The Doctor surprises me by pressing a quick kiss to my hand. "You're being sarcastic, so that means you're fine."

I stick my tongue out at him.


	34. 14:  Twilight Part Three

**Meh. I'm feeling ambivalent about this one. It's taking me too long to get into the actual action. Oh well.  
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**Twilight**

**Part Three**

Ethan leads us into the biggest, grandest room I have ever seen in my entire life. One main wall, the wall parallel to the door, is covered in a large red velvet curtain with gold tassels. The floor is a rich mahogany, dotted with beautiful, intricately patterned rugs; not oriental rugs, per say, because the geometric patterns are unrecognizable to me. The two far walls perpendicular to the curtain wall are completely bare. Beyond the dark, gnarled trees, the fog has overtaken the giant gate.

The highlight of the room is the circular seating area; it's the largest sectional sofa I have ever seen. A few people are lounging around it, all females. One female in particular is sitting smack dab in the center of the sofa, so that she is the first thing you will see when you enter the room.

And of course, she would draw the eye anyway. Hers is a vicious beauty, all sharp angles and violently graceful. Her hair is pulled into a tight bun, causing her eyebrows her arch severely. Her lips are painted a blood red, her skin so fair that a sheet of white paper has more life. The corners of her eyes lilt up, dramatized by liquid black eyeliner. The steel gray gown covers her from neck to toe, though her wide shoulders are bare. Despite her gaunt frame, her belly is huge.

The Doctor takes one look at her and his shoulders tighten. He reaches for Donna, clutching her lower arm, pulling her next to him. His hand in mine squeezes, as if he's checking to make sure I'm still here.

I will say this: if that woman is named Akasha, I will vomit all over the beautiful rug and then stab myself in the eyes with the Doctor's sonic screwdriver.

Ethan raises his chin and sticks out his chest. "Polly, I bring guests seeking shelter from the Storm." His tone is reverent and even a bit submissive, belying his strong stance.

Polly? Don't tell me the Queen of the Damned is named Polly…

The woman rises and saunters towards us. Well, it's more of a wobble. She is clearly about ten months pregnant, but she holds herself with an air of royalty that even an American like myself can appreciate.

"Welcome."

I bite my lip. I have to. Her voice is high pitch and whispery, and the w sounds like an r.

"I hope you stay with us during the storm."

Oh, poor woman. The closer she gets, the more obvious this is. She's not really that pretty. Her skin is too pale and not in a cool vampire kind of way. The severe look is accomplished by her hair being too tight and some strategically placed make up. She's trying too hard. And her lisp… besides the problems with r's and w's, her s's come out more like th.

She stops next to Ethan, and leans against him, weary. He puts an arm around her, though it's more to hold her up than to show affection. She smiles up at him, tired. There are dark circles under her eyes.

The other six females have crept closer to us. I glance at them. None of them are anything special. They're not ugly, exactly. They're just all very normal looking. One is overweight, but she has a very pretty face. One's face is too long, giving her certain horse look, but her hair is thick and curly and luxurious. Another has a big nose, but brilliant emerald eyes. The girl farthest from us has a bad case of acne, but, well, a huge rack. The other two are just… normal looking. Well, maybe one would be considered a bit chubby, but she's actually very pretty.

"Hello," the Doctor says as I'm checking out the competition. Oops, I meant the other girls. "I'm the Doctor. This is Lily and Donna."

I wave at them, trying to paste on a friendly smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Donna do the same.

"Are they your wives?" Polly asks.

I blush. The Doctor himself has started shaking his head and scratching the back of his head, having dropped my hand almost immediately. Donna is first to vocalize her dissent. Loudly.

"Like I would marry this skinny sack of twigs," she exclaims. "Look at him! There is nothing to hold onto!"

"I apologize," Polly looks more confused than apologetic. Her eyes meet mine. "Are you the wife?"

I drop the Doctor's hand and take a big step away. "No," I say, laughing. "Not at all. Not even close. Nope. No way." My eyes drift to Ethan, who's watching me, bemused. Something flashes in those golden eyes that I don't quite understand.

"We're all just friends," the Doctor explains.

Oh, look, the floor is just so pretty!

"Why does everyone think we're married?" Donna grumbles.

"You both carry his scent," Polly explains. She gestures towards me. "Though it is stronger on this one."

"His SCENT!" Donna shouts.

Can your head boil if your face gets too hot from embarrassment? I want to throw the coat I'm still carrying at the Doctor and never touch him again.

"Donna," the Doctor holds up his hands, palms out, trying to calm her down. "Eterziel are a matriarchal society, though the males can have many wives. They can only produce males, so females are coveted and…converted. I'm guessing Polly here would rather talk to a female than to myself, am I right?"

Polly—yup, that is apparently her name—nods. "Yes. I did not mean to offend."

The Doctor gives her a charming smile. "Nah, it's all right. Now," he crouches down, inspecting her belly. He even pulls out his sonic screwdriver and starts sonicing it. "How far along are you?"

She gives him a wide eyed look. He clearly makes her uncomfortable. I can't say I blame her, what with the sonicing going on. "I will give birth any day now."

The Doctor inspects his sonic, then closes it and sticks it back in his pocket as he stands. "Right during the Storm," he thinks out loud.

"So it seems," she drawls, eyeing him warily. "Won't you all sit down?" She turns, extracting herself from Ethan's grip and wobbles back to the couch. The other girls on the couch scramble to right themselves, though they do watch us with wide eyes as we find a seat. The Doctor takes my hand again, pulling me to sit next to him. He makes Donna stay close as well. I take my hand back once we are seated.

I don't get his over protective thing. These are simply tragically weird people and, seriously, the most danger here is from me laughing myself to death.

A grin tugs the corner of my mouth. Not a hysterical or ironic grin. An "oh my god, the hottest guy in the face of the universe is sitting right next to me!" grin.

No, not the Doctor. Ethan. He lounges right next to me, openly staring. It's flattering AND uncomfortable. What a lovely mix!

The Doctor starts prattling on about, oh, I have no idea, something the Doctor would prattle on about around impending danger and soul sucking vampires. I turn my attention to Ethan.

"Can I help you?" I ask, a bit more irritated than I would have liked.

Ethan just shakes his head. I've never seen such a graceful move on a male before.

"Ok…" I say. I try to turn away, to focus on what the Doctor is saying. Something important I'm sure. I think he just said something about a plan to live through the Storm. I have no idea. All I know is he's standing now, pacing and talking to mostly himself, I'm sure. Donna's look is pretty glazed as well. Everyone's look is. Ok, I'm not the only one not following. Especially with Ethan staring a hole into my head. I whip back to face him. "What?" I whisper, harsh.

In a move too quick for me to see or even understand, I'm suddenly staring at the dark ceiling in a different perspective and something heavy is pressed on top of me. I'm about to scream when a hand is pressed over my mouth. Ethan's golden eyes are wide and animalistic.

Oh my god, he's going to suck my blood!

Wait, no, these eterziel things don't drink blood…

Ethan's head suddenly reaches for the ceiling, hissing. I look up, following his sight. The ceiling isn't dark. It's covered in black birds. Crows.

Three things happen at once. Again.

All the other females, minus Donna, start to scream. High pitch girly screams that threaten to bust my eardrums.

Kyle is running to a set of chests that I did not notice next to the door we entered the room from.

The Doctor is sonicing the ceiling. The bulb glows a bright, blinding blue. Something up there fizzles and snaps with electricity and the birds, the crows, fly away, cawing loudly.

After those three events, it all clicks. There is danger above. And… Ethan is trying to protect me?

Something slams. I jerk up, pulling Ethan's hand off my mouth, forcing him to sit up with me. Kyle is holding some sort of silver gun at the ceiling, though he looks surprised that there is nothing to shoot.

Ethan's chest is pressed against mine. Our legs are intertwined. Everyone else is cowering, the Doctor is taking charge, Kyle is wondering how the crows got away, and Donna is… not looking as Ethan crushes his mouth against mine.

Ok, so not expecting that.

My first instinct is to pull away, but it's barely even a thought before I give in and kiss him back.

Am I fickle? Am I a slut? Do I just kiss every guy who wants me to kiss him?

No. No I don't.

That's what makes me pull away, makes me push him away, makes me roll away. I land on the floor and stand, trying to walk away. Of course, I don't get far before he's in front of me, grasping my arms, forcing me to look at him.

"Where are you going?" he asks, clearly confused and exasperated.

"Away," I answer, trying to rip my arms back.

His grip tightens. "Why? How?" Now that I think of it, those butterscotch eyes are really disconcerting when they are staring at your like that.

I sigh. "Because I… you can't just kiss a girl you met five minutes ago and expect her to melt into your arms!"

He gives me a look that clearly states he thought you did and that he has done it before. Men! Same no matter the species.

I restrain myself from kicking his shin. "Now let me go before I start making a scene," I order through my teeth.

He does, surprisingly. I didn't think that would actually work. Cool!

I brush past him, head high, and go to the Doctor's side. The second he looks at me, I feel my face go red. But I don't think he notices. "So, we have a plan then?" the Doctor asks.

I blink. My jaw works up and down. "Uhh… plan?"

The Doctor frowns. "Were you not listening to what I just said?"

"Nah," Donna says, hands on her hips. An evil smirk… oh no. "She was too busy snogging vampire boy over on the sofa to hear your plan."

Why, yes, your brain can boil from your face blushing too much.

"That's not exactly…" I stammer. "I mean…"

The Oncoming Storm makes me shut my mouth. His chocolate eyes swirl violently. He stalks away from me to grab Ethan's collar. "My companions are not available for conversion," the Doctor hisses.

Ethan raises an eyebrow. "She isn't claimed."

The Doctor pulls the collar tighter, forcing Ethan down a fraction of an inch. Their noses are almost touching. "I claim her," he growls.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the horses!

"Uh," I step towards them, holding up my hand like I'm back in high school and have a question. "Hello? Over here? Yeah, no one claims me except myself."

They ignore me. Ethan pushes the Doctor away, pulling himself up to full height. Wow, look at those muscles… "You bring two unclaimed females into our home, what do you expect, Doctor?"

Donna stands by my side. "Unclaimed females!" she exclaims.

I cross my arms. "I am not liking this one bit," I mutter.

"I expect you to treat guests with respect," the Doctor answers Ethan, not Donna or I.

Polly waddles between them. "Please," she says. "Now isn't the time."

Ethan shoots her a dark, biting look. "I wish to claim Lily," he challenges. "It is my right to do so."

My face, if you can believe it, burns even hotter. "Uh, Lily does not wish to be claimed by Ethan!" I shout, waving my arms in the air.

The Doctor glances over his shoulder at me. In three long strides, he's in front of me. I barely have time to swallow before he grabs my arms and crushes his lips against mine.

My knees automatically go weak and my whole body tingles.

Just as suddenly, his lips are gone. I clench onto his shoulders, because I swear to god, I would not be able to stand otherwise.

"She is claimed," the Doctor commands, voice hard.

For some reason I don't really understand at the moment, my eyes start to well up. I gaze up at the Doctor and then I realize why I want to cry. Because it's obvious. That kiss… there was nothing behind it. Just a pressing of lips against lips. No fire. Not from him, anyway. I'm the only one feeling the fire deep in my gut. He's doing this to protect me from being claimed by Ethan, whatever this whole being claimed thing entails. Not because he wants me. And I could never be his. He is River Song's.

That thought, that last thought sobers me. Yes, 10 and I have kissed before. Yes, 11 gave me the softest, cutest, most loving kisses the last time I saw him, but I don't know when in his timeline I was and frankly, I don't give a shit anymore. I'm done waiting. I'm tired of this cat and mouse thing going on. I'm tired of the kisses and the rejection and the hand holding and the freaking mixed signals.

I step away from the Doctor.

I slap him so hard my hand stings after.

Fighting the flood of tears, I raise my chin. "I am not claimed," I whisper, voice teetering on the edge of sadness and anger. "Not by you. Not by him. Not by anyone. When this is over, you are going to find a way to take me back to my world. I don't care about the paradoxes involved. I'm not dealing with you or any of this shit anymore. I want to go home."

And, on that happy note, I walk away. I walk past the stares of the females, away from the sound of Donna yelling at the Doctor (thankfully taking my side), out the giant mahogany door, which, because of the glass walls, echoes awesomely as I slam it shut. I walk down the stairs, out the front door, and into the cool Twilight air.

A gentle breeze ruffles my hair as I take a seat on the sidewalk. I'm not stupid enough to walk through the fog to try to find the Tardis. I know there's plenty of danger out there and I could probably get killed any second now.

But I just don't care.

And the fact that I don't care is what makes the sobs start in earnest.


	35. 14:  Twilight Part Four

**My mind went ker-plunk, so this kinda just... ends. But there is bits of action, the episode moves a bit closer to the end, and, ooo, we learn something... I think there should be just one more section of this episode. I think. I'm still working on, you know, not just ENDING this randomly like I did my last original episode... I'm still learning.  
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><p><strong>.14.<strong>

**Twilight**

**Part Four**

The light breeze that had rustled my hair when I had stepped outside has turned into something… more. It's no longer a breeze. It whips against me, flinging my hair into my face, stinging my eyes. I don't know if I'm crying anymore or if my eyes are just watering from the frigid breeze. I shiver, rubbing my bare arms. I should have worn the Doctor's jacket.

I look around the foggy distance, not quite ready to go inside yet. How do you enter a room of people when you've just left in a huff? There is no elegant way to do that. I'm quickly regretting my outburst. I'm sure the Doctor was just trying to protect me from being claimed, whatever that entails. I'm thinking it's not of the good. I'm sure it has something to do with becoming eterziel, which, honestly, looks like a pitiful existence from what I've seen so far. Plus, this whole Twilight planet is lame.

The fog has more than overtaken the gate. I don't even know where the gate is anymore, where the edge of the property ends. I gulp, standing. I should really go inside. This was a bad idea.

I haven't even finished turning when I here something creak. I spin back around. Now that was a stupid idea. I should just run inside, not stare into the fog like I'm doing, wondering what that creaking sound was. I swallow, ignoring my own good advice, and take a step forward. I think Ethan or Kyle said something about a hunting party. Maybe the rest of them are returning? All the more reason to go inside.

The wind, I realize, eyes going wide, has stopped. Just like that.

I finally listen to myself and try to open the door. I say try, because it won't open. I twist the doorknob, try to jerk it open with both hands. Nothing. It doesn't even wiggle.

Panicking, I bang on the door. Tendrils of fog are swirling around my feet. A crow caws from somewhere behind me. I bang harder, faster. This can't be good. Why am I so stupid? Something that sounds like a twig snapping under a foot makes me start screaming.

"Doctor!" I shout, throat raw from the effort.

Nothing.

I pull on the door, but I might as well be trying to for open solid rock. I turn around, pressing my back against the cold door. The fog is up to my knees now.

And something steps out of the fog.

I can't even scream.

It looks like a human, but the predatory look in its eyes belies the first thought. His thin lips are quirked up in a vicious grin, reminiscent of Billy Idol, especially because of the white blonde hair that juts in sharp, messy spikes. His pupils are so large, I can't tell what color his eyes are. He's wearing all black, from the leather pants to the tee shirt.

"What have we here?" His voice, probably translated by the Tardis so I can understand him, sounds like the one vampire I've loved most of my life: Spike from _Buffy_. He even looks like him. It's too uncanny, really. I wonder what eterziel really look like, because I can't help but feel that their looks are a glamour, that they look how we want them to, like someone we would… want… or something. But the terror derails that train of thought.

"Please," I whisper, begging.

That snarling grin twists into a full fledged smile. "Ooo, I love when they beg. Makes it fun."

Yup, just like Spike, pre-chip.

This actually lessens my fear. It's… predictable.

"You should leave," I say, voice a bit stronger. Not by much, but enough to give me a bit more confidence.

"And why would I want to do that, luv?"

I can do this. Let's be honest, the Master was worse. And I've met the devil himself. I stand a bit straighter. "Because you value your own life. Or existence or whatever it is you eterziel call it."

He saunters ever closer, sniffing deep. "You smell delicious. Such energy you have."

I try to step back, then remember that I'm against the door. Can't get much backer. "Touch me and you're dead." Cliche, yes, but I can be effective.

He poke me right in the shoulder.

Ok, maybe no that effective.

He opens his arms in a "look and see" gesture. "Still here." The smile disappears. "You're coming with me."

What is with men tonight?

"I'm not going any…" I'm interrupted, because the world is suddenly upside down, then right side up, and it all happens so fast, I don't know where I am anymore. Dizzy, I trip over my own feet. "Where… uhh…"

These eterziel are fast little bastards, I will give them that.

One second, I was against the door.

The next, I'm standing in front of four males, with the one who looks like Spike holding my arms. I can't see him since he's behind me, but I'm sure it's him. Ow, could his grip be tighter? We're standing in a circle of fog. Like, seriously, a perfect circle.

"What you got there, Stefan?" one of the males, a ginger one, asks. The name sounds like it's pronounced Shteff-On.

Peroxide Boy shakes me once, violently. Ok, I take it his name is Stefan. "A snack."

Another of the men takes a step towards me. There is only one way to describe this guy: Dracula. Long, straight black hair. An elegant air. Just, you know, add a villainous goatee. "More than a snack," he mumbles and I freaking kid you not, he has a Slavic accent. Seriously… he's freaking Dracula. "This one has two souls."

The other three men look at me like I'm a science experiment.

"Bullocks," Stefan says, shaking me again. Ugh, keep it up, and I'll have shaken Lily syndrome. "That's a legend, Vladimir."

Vladimir? VLADIMIR? HIS NAME IS FUCKING VLADIMIR?

I snort. I can't help it. I know it's stupid, but come on. His name is Vladimir! I bite my lip to keep the insane laughter from bubbling out.

Vladimir ignores my laughter. "No, it's the truth. See for yourself." He caresses my jaw line with a long, cold finger.

Stefan twirls me so I'm facing him. He grabs my jaw and forces me to look into his eyes. Light gray irises frame the dark pupils. He stares at me for a good long minute, then slowly grins.

"Well, well, well," he jerks my head back. "So she does."

One of the men, I think the ginger one, speaks up. "The Dual Souled, the Last One, and the Spirit will break the Storm," he says, voice in awe. "They will drop from the sky in the blue box and peace shall reign in Twilight."

"Tis a legend," one of the other men says. I don't know which one. Stefan still has a mighty grip on my chin. "Besides, this is only a girl, a human at that."

Stefan sticks his face in mine, as if he's trying to read something in my eyes. "Human plus… something." He scowls. "What are you, girl?" He releases my chin, pushing me back enough that I fall into the cold mud. Awesome.

"Just a human," I insist. Despite the chilly moisture creeping into my skirt and tights, I stay down. "But my friend is something more. You should probably bring me back to him, else he'll destroy you."

All five men laugh. You know the type. The evil villain laugh.

"We are more than eterziel," Ginger says, stepping towards me. "We are the Storm. Nothing can destroy us."

"Except apparently for three people who travel in blue box," I say. The nonchalance in my tone isn't even forced. "And guess what? Ever heard of the Tardis? It's a blue box that's bigger on the inside that can travel through space and time. Which is what I do. With my two friends." I crawl to my feet with as much dignity as I can muster.

The Ginger growls. He's suddenly in front of me and something cold and round is pressing against my forehead. I look up using only my eyes. Oh, look, it's a gun. Fantastic.

"We should just kill her," Ginger says, spitting in my face. "If she is the Dual Souled, it is better to kill her than to taint ourselves with her energy."

Maybe it's the fear. Maybe it's self preservation. Maybe it's just that I'm sick of people talking about me like I'm not even there. Either way, something snaps, something deep inside of me.

In a move I didn't even know three seconds ago I would be capable of, I grab Ginger's wrist and the gun, twisting his arm down, stepping so my back is to him, jerking his arm, and then, blinking in confusion to myself, I'm holding the gun against HIS forehead.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I snarl. Whoa, where is this coming from? I don't even know…

All I know is, I've pulled the trigger. There is a pop, a flash of light, and then Ginger is gone, disintegrated, just ash in the wind.

I cock the gun at the three remaining men in front of me.

Oh, wait, there were four.

Whoops.

Something smacks against my head and the world goes completely black.

* * *

><p>I wake up slowly, eyes blurry. I don't know how much time has passed. In fact, I don't even remember falling asleep. Something that sounds like mouths clicking makes me open my eyes more, though everything is still a bit distorted. I blink a couple times. Tall silver creatures with hunch backs are standing in a circle. Waves of icy blue electricity static against their skin in random intervals. I blink a few more times, sitting up.<p>

The silver, preying mantis-like creatures fade away, replaced by humans, or at least humanoids. I recognize Stefan and Vladimir and the other two men. It all comes back to me. The fog. The glass house. Ethan, Kyle, Polly, the other women. That… incident with the Doctor.

Yeah, ok, it's all back, even the look in Ginger's eyes as he disintegrated into nothing. That shock… Yeah, I don't think I'm going to forget that one. Because I killed him.

I test the words in my mind.

I killed someone.

Ok… now this is not the reaction I would have expected. Because I find that I don't care that I killed him. I mean, he was going to kill me first. Kill or be killed, right?

I swallow.

I'm more freaked out by the fact that I'm not freaking out about killing someone than the whole fact that I killed someone. If that makes sense…

I try to sit up, but, oh look at that, I'm cuffed to a bed. No, wait, not a bed. I'm cuffed to a rock. Are you serious right now? Like… really? I'm chained to a rock in what appears to be a cave and there are torches everywhere (fire ones, not flashlights).

At least I'm not wearing a fur bikini or anything like that. I'm still in my denim skirt and tee shirt. Caked with mud and dirt, but still wearing my own clothing. Ok, so something is NOT clichéd right now. That's a good thing.

"Nicoli was right," one of the men, though not Vladimir or Stefan, says. I turn my head towards them. A curly haired guy with a cleft chin is talking. "We should just kill her."

"Think of the power," Stefan says. "Two souls in one body, both bursting with energy. We won't have to eat for weeks! Months even. Possibly years."

Ok, what is with this two soul thing? How can I have two souls? And, also, what ARE souls? Not to get philosophical or anything, but still…

I look around as they argue as to whether or not to kill me. We're still surrounded by fog, so I have no idea where we could be or how far I am from the Doctor. And I honestly have no clue how to get myself out of this one. My mind is blank.

Ideas? Anyone? Bueller?


	36. 14:  Twilight Part Five

**Ok, I'm going to say two things: One, there is one part left to this. It's gotten a bit away from me, but it needed to, so I'm okay with it. Two, there are even more hints about who Lily is. I could go on, but I won't. Just read.  
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><p><strong>.14.<strong>

**Twilight**

**Part Five**

The four men are fighting. It reminds me of that scene in _The Hobbit_ where the trolls are trying to figure out what to do with Bilbo Baggins. Actually, I think they were fighting about how to cook him. Actually, I really don't remember. Actually, why am I thinking about this right now? They're talking about killing me! Or converting me, and that just does not sound pleasant.

"Think about it," Vladimir is saying. "Think of how much more powerful we can be with her as one of us."

Cleft Chin is shaking his head. "We'll be cursed."

Stefan slaps Cleft Chin on the back. "You still believe in that bullocks, Dragos? No one can stop the Storm."

"But the prophecy…" Dragos starts.

"Is just a story," Stefan insists. "So we feast on her and then, boom, no more prophecy. So let's stop standing here yammering about it and do something."

Vladimir holds up a hand. "We're not going to feast on her."

The last unnamed guy, with a big forehead and nose, cracks his knuckles. "Are we feasting, killing, or converting? I don't care which. She smells too delectable to just let her lie there, staring at us."

Oops.

Four pairs of eyes turn to me. I gulp. Two pairs of eyes regard me with hunger, another with hatred, and the last with interest. This really doesn't bode well for me.

"Uh," I stammer. "Do I get a say in this?"

"No," all four answer.

"Darn."

They continue fighting about what they're going to do with me. I know I should be taking some interest, but at this point they're talking so fast, overlapping each other, and it's impossible to follow along.

Either way, I'm going to die.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. How do you prepare yourself for impending death? I have no idea. It's not like I've ever died before. I think of my friends back in my world. I wonder if they miss me or even know I'm gone. I think of Daniel. Am I still technically his girlfriend? I don't even know. This is a whole different universe, so I don't think my infidelity is an issue. Either way, I'm never going to see him again.

I think of Michael. But I don't want to think of him. That hurts too much. I'd never see him against whether I live or die here.

So, naturally, I think of the Doctor. Of 10 and 11 and this weird thing we have going on. And, for some reason, I think of River Song. I think of the first thing she said to me at The Library. She called me her best friend.

But I've only met her once.

I smile. I have to get out of this. I have to. Somehow River Song becomes my best friend. And that hasn't happened yet. I've only met her twice. So I live. Right?

Time can change…

…But wouldn't my death here be a paradox?

All this philosophy is making my head hurt.

"Ahem."

I startle, turning my head left. But there is no one there. So who just cleared their throat?

"Over here, dumb ass," someone whispers. Wait. I know that voice. I crane my neck to look down a bit and I see her. Or, well, I see me. Future Me is a muddy mess and her hair is messy but she's grinning. I do have a pretty smile. Yay for my orthodontist. Future Me is wearing the same exact outfit that I am right now. I notice a blaster strapped to her hip. Interesting. I get some fire power!

I raise an eyebrow. "So… I save myself?"

Future Me peaks around the stone bed I'm laying on, then ducks away. "Was there any doubt?" Future Me jokes. She pulls the Doctor's sonic screwdriver out of her pocket.

But she doesn't do anything with it.

"Uh, are you gonna set me free?" I ask after a couple seconds.

Future Me shushes me, crawling up towards my wrist. My left wrist. "I have to wait for the right moment."

"Which is…when?"

"In about… three, two, one."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for the Cave of Wonders, not the Cave of Storm."

The Doctor!

It was a lame line, but it fills me with such happiness. Just seeing that grinning face makes this day much better.

And then I hear the sonic whirring.

I whip my head back to Future Me. "Wait, how do we get here?" I ask.

Future Me stops sonicing and gives me a blank look. "Uhh… Ethan and Kyle track down the Tardis. The Doctor will figure it out. I don't really understand, actually. There were a lot of confusing words involved."

And with that, Future Me frees my left wrist from the shackle. As soon as it pops open, my body is covered in electricity and heat.

And I fall to the mahogany floor.

Catching my breath, I look up. Red fabric blocks my vision. I'm back in the glass house, in the big room with the red curtain wall and the large sectional sofa.

"When this is over, you are going to find a way to take me back to my world," Past Me is whispering. "I don't care about the paradoxes involved. I'm not dealing with you or any of this shit anymore. I want to go home."

I rub my eyes. Really, I have to live this part again?

The sound of flesh slapping flesh. "You stupid git!" Donna shrieks. I don't remember her saying this, but then again, I wasn't exactly paying attention at the time. "How could you do that?"

A door slams. Damn, that was an impressive exit…

Shaking my head, I crawl to my feet in time to see the Doctor run for the door. Donna catches his arm just as he touches the doorknob. "No," she orders. "Give her time. If you go to her right now, she's going to skin you alive."

My heart is pounding. This isn't one of the better moments to re-live. I'm trembling a bit, but I have to put it past me. I have to focus on saving… myself.

Ethan is already looking at me. So is Kyle and the girls. Oh, right, they can smell me. Donna and the Doctor are oblivious to their confusion, still arguing

"She's right, you know," I say. The Doctor and Donna turn to me, shocked. I give a sheepish grin. "Plus, it'll create a paradox and no one likes that."

"What?" the Doctor looks at me and then the door. "What?"

"What?" Donna echoes.

I roll my eyes and try to act nonchalant. "Vortex manipulator." I hold up my wrist.

The Doctor's face clears of confusion. Donna's does not. The Doctor steps towards me. "How far ahead are you?"

I shrug. "I don't exactly know. I got knocked out, then woke up in a cave. Well," I squint, looking up toward my left and trying to picture the sequence of events. "I got abducted by Stefan, brought to the other members of the Storm, was told I have two souls, killed one of the Storm (the ginger one), and then got knocked out and woke up in a cave, where I was chained to a rock, and the four remaining members of the Storm were talking about whether to kill me, convert me, or feast on me. Then Future Me showed up, then you showed up, Doctor, and said something really cheesy, and then Future Me released me and here I am!"

By the end of my little speech, the words were just a jumble.

The Doctor grasps my arms. "You killed someone?"

Figures. He would focus on that. "He was trying to kill me. I just… got to him first."

"How?"

I tear my arms out of his grasp. "That's not the most important thing right now, Doctor. We need to find me. Or, well, we need to find Past Me so that we can save me." I frown. "Time travel really messes up grammar."

Ethan leaps over the couch and lands in a crouch before us. "You are the Dual Souled?" His voice is full of awe.

I shrug. "That's what Vladimir said." I start to giggle. "I still can't believe his name is Vladimir. How lame is that?" Oops, I think I'm starting to lose it a little. I clear my throat, drawing imaginary patterns on the rug with my toe.

"What is the Dual Souled?" the Doctor asks, putting on his glasses. Interested and confused, he pulls out his sonic screwdriver and starts running it all up and down me.

I bat at him, but he keeps sonicing me. "Apparently one of three people who will break the Storm. Some lame prophecy."

Donna marches to us, Kyle not far behind. The eterziel girls are just watching us, confused.

"The Dual Souled, the Last One, and the Spirit will break the Storm," Kyle says, walking around me. "They will drop from the sky in the blue box and peace shall reign in Twilight."

The Doctor stops sonicing to share a look with Donna. "She does have two souls," he confirms.

I step away from everyone, who's now observing me like they're crazy scientists and I'm a lab rat.

Donna, thankfully, takes my side. "That's ridiculous. How can someone have two souls?"

"I have no idea," the Doctor takes off the glasses and sticks them in his pocket. "But she does. Well, souls aren't exactly the correct term. Think of it as life energy, something that can absorb memories, instincts, feelings, all that. Lily has two sets of life energy. One is very dormant, however."

I shake my head. "This is insane. Two sets of life energy? How is that scientifically possible?"

The Doctor puts his hand on my shoulder. "It isn't." Then his eyes light up. "Oh, no, it is. I've seen it. It's happened to us, actually."

"Us?" I ask, hesitant.

He nods. "I can't tell you about it. I don't think it's happened for you yet."

I groan. "Can you give me a hint? Maybe it's something I already know, but just, you know, haven't experienced."

The Doctor hesitates, then shakes his head. "All that I can tell you is that you kept telling me that it wasn't supposed to be you there. It was supposed to be… someone else."

I grab the lapels of his suit jacket. "Then you can give me a hint! Because obviously I already know about it!"

"I can't. You made me promise. All I can tell you is that it's very early on for… this regeneration."

I think. What happened very early in 10's regeneration? The Christmas Invasion (Sycorax? Is that right?). The Girl in the Fireplace. No, there was something before that… Oh, what was it? Something to do with that flat lady… what was her name? The last human. Or the episode with Giles, the one in the school? Wasn't Sarah Jane in that one? Or, wait, wasn't there one to do with a werewolf?

"Can someone please explain to me what is going on?" Donna interrupts my train of thought.

I drop the Doctor's jacket. Whatever the thought was that tried to occur is gone. "Right. Ok. Not important right now. By the way," I point at the Doctor. "I'm still mad at you. After you help me rescue myself and we're safe on the Tardis, we are SO having a conversation."

"Oi!" Donna says, full of sass as always. "What is this prophecy thing?"

Kyle raises his hand. "I can explain." I turn to him, arms crossed. He closes his eyes, concentrating. "Thousands of years ago, the prophecy was foretold that three people—the Dual Souled, the Last One, and the Spirit—will come to Twilight in an impossible blue box and free us all from the terror of the Storm."

He pauses. We all wait for more, leaning towards him. He shrugs. "That's basically it. No one could figure it out. There has never been a creature on Twilight with two souls. There have been plenty of creatures who are the last of their kind, but they've all since been eradicated. And the Spirit, well, there are spirits all around us."

The Doctor scratches the back of his neck. "Well, there are many ways the prophecy can be deciphered, but it depends on your perspective. Now, I don't believe in prophecies, me, but in this case, the meaning rather obvious, I think."

Donna rolls here eyes. "Enlighten us."

I start talking first, having already given it some thought. "The blue box is obviously the Tardis." The Doctor nods in agreement. "And you're the Last One, Doctor. The last of your kind. I apparently have two souls, which is the stupidest thing I've heard today—and I met a soul sucking vampire named Vladimir, so it's been a hell of a day. No pun intended." No one gets my lame attempt at a vampire joke. So I just shrug. "But, if we're taking all this literally, who's the spirit?"

The Doctor looks at Donna. I follow his gaze, though I don't quite get it.

Donna, arms crossed, gives us a sour look. "What? What are you two staring at me for?"

"She is very spirited," the Doctor says.

I wince. "That's a silly interpretation."

"Oh, I'm the Spirit?" Donna points to herself. The Doctor nods. I just shrug. "What does that mean?"

The Doctor smiles. "It means you have a brilliant personality."

Donna rolls her eyes.

"Anyway," I interrupt this odd moment. "I think I'm about to be kidnapped. So, we should be coming up with a plan to rescue me. And can I just say that this is a strange conversation to have?"

The Doctor clears his throat and claps his hands once. "Right! So we need a plan. Ethan! Kyle!" The two eterziel, who had dazed looks on their faces, clearly not following the conversation we just had, snap to attention. "Where is the nearest cave?"

Kyle is the one to answer. "Not far from here. Perhaps a five minute run. Well, an eterziel run, so… a days walk for you?"

I groan. "We don't have a day."

"Simple," the Doctor answers with a brilliant smile. "Can you track any type of energy?"

Ethan raises his chin. "Of course."

"Then you can help us find the Tardis." The Doctor, pacing now, spins to face the whole group.

"And for those of us who don't follow along?" Donna asks.

"Artron energy," the Doctor answers. "They can track the high levels of artron energy to take us back to the Tardis, then I can hone the Tardis to Past Lily's vortex manipulator, which should give off enough vortex energy to track, and we can land near Past Lily."

"Akon energy?" I ask.

The Doctor rolls his eyes and gives the following explanation so fast I can barely follow along. "Artron energy. Artron energy is a source of energy in Tardises. The materialization of a Tardis causes a massive displacement of artron energy. This energy is vital in the running of a Tardis and if it runs down to 90% it would mean even backup power is unavailable." I give him a blank look. He sighs, exasperated. "It's spacey-wacey. It powers the Tardis. They can track it. We can get back to the Tardis and rescue Past Lily."

"And what about the Storm?" I ask.

The Doctor's eyes go dark. "I'm going to have a bit of a chat with them."

* * *

><p>Ok, so, getting to the Tardis was actually really easy. I wish the Doctor had thought of this sooner. Kyle and Ethan took one whiff once we got outside and lead us right to her. Thank god.<p>

And, yay, special bonus, I have a weapon now! After a not so brief conversation (read: argument) with the Doctor about how I saw myself with a gun and how I'd be safer with one, in case the Storm tries to attack me, he (very, very begrudgingly and after, I kid you not, a fifteen minute lecture about how horrible guns are and how violence is not the answer and how we should try to reason with the Storm first instead of blasting their heads off, which, by the way, is my first instinct…anyway, he) let Kyle give me an awesome gun called a Alpha Meson pistol. Apparently is disintegrates your target, which, honestly, sounds so cool and so scary. Actually, it looks exactly like the one I came here with, the one the Master shot out of my hand about a billion years ago. Nope, not gonna think about this coincidence too much. There is enough stuff in my head to last about fifty lifetimes.

"How come she gets a weapon and I don't?" Donna's complaining as the Doctor runs around the Tardis console, pulling levers and setting the honing device (which has a much fancier name that I forgot right after he said it).

"Because you'll probably shoot my head off without a thought," the Doctor says. He stops running and pats his face. "I like this head. I'd like to keep if for a while." He grins, winks, then stats running again.

Nope, I'm not blushing. Not at all.

Ethan and Kyle are still standing near the door. "It's bigger on the inside," they're both mumbling.

I walk up between them and put my arms on their shoulders. "Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up: it's basically like a different dimension. Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. Tardis. It travels through time and space. It can also change it's form to blend in with whatever time period or planet it's on, but, well, the chameleon circuit broke, so it just… scans the area and turns into a blue box. You know, Doctor," I turn around and skip towards him, only stumbling a few times from the shaky journey. "She told me you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just hotbind in the fragment links and supersede the binary flux, then jumpstart the twelve-dimensional scanner while holding the …" I gasp, clutching at my head. A hot, blinding pain slashes behind my eyes.

"What?" the Doctor asks, as the Tardis lands with a bump.

The pain disappears as quickly as it was gone. "Sorry, nothing. Never mind." I blink a couple times. "What was I saying?" I lean against the console. The familiar prickle tingles up my arm, as if the Tardis is trying to see if I'm ok. I pat the console, letting her know that I'm fine.

Wait… what?

The Doctor watches me carefully. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy," I smile. "Let's go save myself!"

After another second of staring at me, the Doctor nods, grinning. "Right! So, Ethan, Donna, Lily, and I will sneak into the cave. I'll create a diversion so Lily can save her past self."

I snort. "Right, cause that's an infallible plan. And what about Kyle? Shouldn't he get a job?"

Donna gives me a strange look. "Who's Kyle?"

"Uh, he's right there," I spin around, pointing.

But he isn't there.

There's only Ethan.

My jaw drops. "What? He was right there?"

"Who was?" Ethan asks, looking behind himself.

"Kyle was!"

"There was never a Kyle," Donna says.

I spin to her. "Yes, there was. You were freaking out over him, trying to jump his bones. He's the one who let us into the house!"

Ethan walks towards us. "I let you in the house."

"Yeah," Donna says. "And I didn't try to jump anyone. You were the one who tried to jump Ethan."

My mind just exploded. I swear to god, there is Lily brain splattered all over the Tardis now.

I turn to the Doctor, my jaw working up and down, but I'm not making a sound. His face is dark, knowing, but he doesn't say anything.

"Please," I whisper. "Please tell me I'm not going crazy."

He grips my shoulder. "You're not crazy, Lily." Thank god. "We don't have time to figure it out right now."

"This isn't the first time this has happened," I explain, the words tripping over each other. "This happened on Atlantis. Or, well, for you it is going to happen. There was an Ood and then there wasn't and no one remembered him." I start gasping for breath. "Is it the crack in Amy's bedroom wall? It could be, but that was closed, I've been to the future and the crack is closed, so everything is fine, but I wasn't there when the crack closed, and this is technically the past, so the crack isn't closed yet. But why is the crack in the wall chasing me? It chases Amy, not me."

The Doctor gives me a hard shake. "Lillian," he says. "Calm down."

My eyes must be so wide. "How can you tell me to calm down when people keep on disappearing around me?"

He leans in and presses his forehead to mine. I automatically think of 11 and I start to blush. "We'll figure it out, but first we have to rescue you." The Doctor pulls me into a tight embrace. "All right?"

I nod against his shoulder. "Yeah," I tell his neck. "Sorry. It's been one of those days."

He gently pushes me away, releasing me. He hands me his sonic screwdriver. "It's on the proper setting. Just point and press the button."

I nod again, taking a deep breath. "Right. So, let's rescue me."

* * *

><p>Crawling into the cave is almost too easy. For a bunch of super-scenting soul sucking vampires, they don't sense us at all as I crawl to the stone bed that Past Me is cuffed to. The Doctor is waiting in a different tunnel, giving me a few seconds to save Past Me.<p>

Past Me is watching the Storm fight about whether to kill me. Past Me is also sweating more than I remember and the mud on my hiking boots is still wet. As soon as she starts to smile, I clear my throat.

"Ahem."

Past Me startles, turning her head left. But she's not looking at me. I'm closer to her feet.

"Over here, dumb ass," I whisper. She cranes her neck. The relief in her eyes when she sees me makes me grin. This is so cool. And so weird.

Past Me raises an eyebrow. Yup, it looks as cool as I always imagined it to be. "So… I save myself?"

I peak around the stone bed, checking on the Storm. I duck back down. "Was there any doubt?" I joke. I pull the Doctor's sonic screwdriver out of my pocket, but it's not time yet. Come on, Doctor. Just step out so that I can free Past Me.

"Uh, are you gonna set me free?" she asks after a couple seconds.

I shush her, crawling forward so I'm right next to her left wrist. "I have to wait for the right moment."

"Which is…when?"

"In about… three, two, one."

The Doctor steps out from a tunnel. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for the Cave of Wonders, not the Cave of Storm."

Yup, still lame. I shake my head. He could have done better than that. I start to sonic the cuff, but it's not coming undone. Grr.

Past Me whips her head back to me. "Wait, how do we get here?" she asks.

I stop sonicing. How, indeed. "Uhh… Ethan and Kyle track down the Tardis. The Doctor will figure it out. I don't really understand, actually. There were a lot of confusing words involved."

The shackle pops free finally. A second later, Past Me disappears in blue static.

Welp. That's done.

Staying ducked down, I focus on the Doctor's conversation with the Storm. He's apparently trying to convince them to leave and stop hurting people for no reason. I roll my eyes. He clearly doesn't know them. They revel in the violence.

"Where did she go?" Dragos exclaims.

Grasping the pistol and pulling it out of the awesome leather holster, I pop up from behind the stone, grinning. The Doctor gives me an exasperated look. He had told me to leave as soon as I freed Past Me. Yeah. Right. Ok.

"You know, for a bunch of eterziel who are supposed to have these great senses, you guys really suck," I say, lifting up the gun and training it on them. Ok, not the best witty saying, but my inner Buffy seems to be failing a bit. One of those days, you know?

"Lily," the Doctor growls. "I told you to leave."

"Puh-lease." The look I give him matches my playful tone. "I'm not about to miss out on a spot of vengeance. Who do you think I am, sweetie?" The last word out of my mouth confuses me, but I shake my head and continue on. "Besides, they were going to kill me."

"Actually," Unnamed Storm Guy says. "We were going to convert you."

I glare at him. "Oh, because that is so much better." I point the gun at him and shoot. He disintegrates into ash.

Awesome.

The Doctor, on the other hand, does not share my glee. He cries out. "What are you doing?"

The three remaining Storm members or whatever their called crouch down, growling at me.

I toss my hair over my shoulder. "You can't reason with them, Doctor. It's part of their nature to torture."

"But they can be so much more," the Doctor insists. "Look at Ethan and Kyle!"

I switch my glare to the Doctor. "I can't look at Kyle. He's disappeared and no one except you and me remember him."

Rule number one when trying to shoot someone: don't take your eyes off the target.

All three members of the Storm come after me in that blur of movement. Two of them, Stefan and Dragos, are stopped suddenly by Ethan, who, hissing, has them by the throats, pinning them to the ground.

Vladimir, however, has ME by the throat. He slams me into the wall. The gun falls from my hand, a random shot bursting against a far wall. I make a sound close to a gluck, and scratch at his wrist.

But he's not trying to kill me.

"You'll make a spectacular eterziel," he growls into my ear.

I can't make a witty retort. His hand is nearly breaking my throat.

Vladimir rears back, exposing fangs. I want to laugh, actually, because even for soul suckers, they have fangs. He doesn't go for my neck, though. Even as my vision is darkening slightly at the corners, I recognize where he's heading. My third eye chakra. His lips plaster against my forehead and I immediately start to feel weak, as if the energy is, well, being sucked out of me.

Because it is.

Not just energy. Like a movie, my life flashes before my eyes, so fast I can only catch certain images. The costume party with Daniel. Senior prom. A birthday cake with eleven candles. Eating ice cream on a beach. The Doctor in The Library, confused. The other Doctor crying, pressing a sonic screwdriver into my hand.

But then it's over. The hand releases my throat and, knees weak, I fall to the ground. I blink, gazing up at the scene. The Doctor. I see him rear up for a strike, a rock in his hand, and then I black out.


	37. 14:  Twilight Part Six

**This didn't end how I thought it was going to. Anyone want to watch _Bridget Jones' Diary_ and eat a pint of ice cream with me?  
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><p><strong>.14.<strong>

**Twilight**

**Part Six**

I miss all the fun.

Pouting, I sit up on a white hospital bed in the sterile, all white infirmary. The Doctor is scanning me with the sonic screwdriver as I kick my legs back and forth over the side of the bed. Sighing deeply, I half pay attention to the lecture he's giving me as he checks my vital signs. I thought the gun lecture was bad? This one takes a cake. He's been ranting and raving for over an hour already, constantly repeating himself. He's rung his hands through his hair so often that it's even messier than usual, sticking out in every direction imaginable. While he's searching for some other alien/futuristic medical device, I check him out, appreciating the view. Even in the rumpled brown suit, he has a really nice butt.

I mentally smack the smile off my face when he turns back to me. Man, I have no idea what he's going on about anymore. But, damn, he is so hot when he's angry. Actually, he's hot all the time, especially when he's being all clever and stuff. When he's flying the Tardis or when he's stepping out into a world for the first time or when he discovers something he hasn't seen, he eyes light up in childish delight and I can't decide if I want to pinch his cheek or take him to the library and have my way with him. He likes it in the library, though lord knows he would never admit it.

Whoa!

How would I know that? No, I can't know that. It just seems like he would, uh, like the library; you know, where all the knowledge is and stuff? Yeah, that makes sense.

As the Doctor turns away to search in a metal drawer for god knows what other kind of medical device, I close my eyes and shake my head. I take a couple of deep breaths. I hold up my hands, inspecting the slight tremor. My heart is beating way to fast. I can't seem to regulate my breathing.

Must be a side effect of having part of your soul sucked out. Excuse me, I mean the shaking must be a side effect of having part of one of your souls sucked out, since I apparently have two and all.

I had woken up in the infirmary with a line of fluids attached to me. I don't know how energy sucking equates dehydration, but apparently it does. Well, let's just say I freaked out a little to see a needle in my arm. Needles? Yeah, hate the things. My veins are not meant to be tampered with. Anyway, after spending a good five minutes screaming and nauseous, the Doctor soothed me enough that I could listen to him explain what had happened after Vladimir, uh, sucked part of my soul out.

Apparently, the Doctor hit him in the head with the rock, which is definitely weird, because the Doctor isn't exactly the fighting type. Anyway, this didn't damage Vladimir nearly as much as one would expect. Actually, cut that. We're talking about soul sucking vampires. Of course they're practically indestructible. Why wouldn't they be?

So, Vladimir gave the Doctor a good strike, which caused the Doctor to fall back. While he was out of sorts, Ethan stepped in, having somehow killed Dragos and Stefan (good riddance, I say). Ethan killed Vladimir. Well, I think that's not quite right. Donna, having stayed with the Doctor and me the entire time I was unconscious, explained something about how Ethan consumed Vladimir. I dunno, the Doctor cut her off as she was explaining about some white light of energy leaving Vladimir and entering Ethan. It sounds cool in my head, though.

The Doctor carried me back to the Tardis (Donna made a snarky remark about Ethan wanting to carry me and the Doctor taking control instead), set me up in the infirmary, and then deposited Ethan back to his house. Donna said the fog was gone and the Twilight night sky is like the sky on earth just as the sun goes down. Sounds pretty, I guess. She also explained that Ethan left a note for me, but the Doctor intercepted it. At that point, the Doctor told her to leave and fix me something substantial to eat, so that I can get my energy back. His face was an interesting shade of red by the time he started to lecture me about everything I've done wrong on this planet.

And that was over an hour ago.

I run a hand through my hair, wincing as it gets stuck in a knot. I'm still covered in mud. I wiggle a bit, wincing. How did dirt get in my clothing?

Is he done ranting yet? I just want to take a shower, eat enough to feed a large Italian family, and sleep for the next five hundred years or so.

The Doctor slams the metal drawer closed, holding up a device that almost looks like one of those things that a doctor uses to look in your ear if you have an ear infection. It even has a little light on it.

The cross, hard look melts off the Doctor's face after I yawn for about the tenth time in three seconds. He places the device on top of the drawer and sighs, gripping the sides of the metal cabinet, head down, back to me.

"I'm sorry," he says.

I stifle another yawn, wiping at my tearing eyes. "Not your fault I almost got my soul sucked out."

He shakes his head. "It is. I should have made us leave. I could have found a way to the Tardis on my own."

"Oh, shut up," I say. "It doesn't matter. What's done is done. All that matters is that we're all safe. We're both here, Donna's in the kitchen probably burning something, and the eterziel no longer have to be afraid of the Storm. Big smiles, Doctor. We beat the bad guy…s." I add the plural as an afterthought.

He spins to me, fury burning in his eyes. Yeah, we beat the Storm. But I still have the Oncoming Storm to deal with. And I have to say…this one is scarier. "It's not about winning or losing, Lillian." Uh-oh. Full name time, apparently. "Not when you have to kill."

I take a deep breath, staring at my hands. I pick at a cuticle, trying to frame my words properly. "Look, you were just protecting me. And it's not like you've never killed before to protect someone or something."

He places a hand over mine, stilling my movements. It's not as nice as it sounds. "It wouldn't have had to come to that if you had listened to me." His voice is filled with anger.

Hurt, I rip my hands away, sliding off the bed, which actually just makes me shorter. "And I wouldn't have been kidnapped if you hadn't tried to 'claim' me."

He's just tall enough to be imposing, looming over me. "I wouldn't have had to do that if you hadn't let him kiss you."

"Oh, so this is all my fault!" I toss my arms in the air and start pacing, bumping him with my shoulder as I pass him. "It's my fault you took us to a planet of beings who have pheromones that drive humans crazy. It's my fault you lost the Tardis. It's my fault Ethan took a liking to me. It's my fault I got kidnapped by insane… well, actually, I will give you that one. I shouldn't have gone outside, so that one IS my fault. However!" I spin to him, poking him in the chest. "I wouldn't have run outside, all out of sorts, if you hadn't provoked me!"

"I was trying to save you!" His voice booms against the white walls and metal medical equipment. "I didn't have a chance to explain to you that if an eterziel claims you, he makes you his and you become one of them. A kiss is the first step, the first mark!"

"Do you have any idea how stupid all this is?" I run my hands over my face, muffling my screams of frustration. "I'm fighting with a fictional character about a stupid planet of vampire clichés. We're in a box that's bigger on the inside, floating through a time vortex. Everyone around me seems to think I have two souls, I keep saying things and thinking things that don't make sense, and…and I keep traveling back and forth in time and I keep getting sucked into these ridiculous situations where I have to be really brave. Do you have any idea how tired I am? I'm just a customer service representative from a small town in Massachusetts. I'm just a sci-fi nerd with a few friends who try to break me out of my insular life. Things like this don't happen in real life!"

The Doctor grabs me by the shoulders, stopping my insane pacing. Gasping for breath, I stare up at him. I will not cry. I will not cry.

"You're real," he says. His eyes are clear, no longer angry. His voice is soothing. "You're here for a reason. I don't know why yet, but I'm beginning to piece it together. Life is full of unexpected impossibilities, Lily. I've seen and met more people than I can count. You are the bravest, strongest person I've met in a long time. Your humble beginnings make you that much more special. To me."

His lips are magnets for my eyes. I can't stop watching his mouth. "And what about Rose?" The sentence tumbles unwanted and unplanned, but it needed to be asked.

"Rose… is gone," he says, voice soft as a sigh. "I'll never see her again."

He will. I want to tell him. I almost do. But I tuck the thought away. I do, however, rip my eyes away from his lips and take a step back. He lets me go, hands falling to his sides. I stare at the while tile floor.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm sorry I overreacted to everything. I'm sorry I insisted on the gun. I'm sorry I killed… I'm just sorry for everything."

He steps forward, enveloping me in his arms, pulling me close. "You have nothing to be sorry about, love. I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have opened the gate. I should have turned around and tried to find the Tardis."

I laugh, one humorless note. "Who can turn down a scary gate in front of a scary mansion?"

My bad attempt at a joke is lost on him. "I need to learn to stop dragging people I care about into bad situations."

I pull back a little, pressing my chin against his shoulder so that I can look up at him. "Is this the part where you go all broody and blame yourself for the universe's problems?"

"No," he sighs. "I just… I'm selfish. I take people away from their safe homes and bring them into danger."

"Hey," I step back even more, placing my hands on the back of his head, directing him to look at me. He does and I want to cry at the pain, sadness, and loneliness in his eyes. A tear does form, actually. "They want to come with you. They deserve it. Now, me on the other hand, I was thrown into this situation and it's definitely not your fault. It's the universe's fault. I mean, come on," I plaster on a smile, ignoring the tear that fell on his behalf. I try not to lean into his touch as he brushes said tear away. "No one likes it when an original character from the 'real' world who knows about the 'fictional' world is tossed into the mix and makes the hero fall madly in love with her and all her perfections for absolutely no reason whatsoever. It totally kills the canon."

The Doctor smiles. "Sometimes I have no idea what you're talking about."

My fake smile melts into a real one. "Well, I rarely have any idea what you talk about, so I guess that makes us almost even."

His face presses a bit closer and I tilt my head up, following his lead. "Am I the hero in this fictional world you speak of?" His breath mingles with mine.

I swallow and my heart skips a beat. "Depends. Are you madly in love with me?" I'm trying to be flippant about this. I really am.

"I wouldn't say that," he says, hesitating.

I grin. "More like you can't say that. Have you ever even said the 'L' word?"

"Plenty of times," he says, hands snaking around my waist, jerking me closer. "Just not in a long time. And not anytime soon, if you can understand that."

I slide my hands across his shoulders. "I can and I completely agree. But do you know what?"

"What?" His voice is so deep and low. I think I'm going to explode.

My lips brush across his as I say, "You're still acting out of character right now. You don't go around claiming women as your own."

He is completely plastered against me. "Don't I?"

I shake my head, slowly. "If they kiss you, you run away, because you don't want to hurt them. We've kissed a few times and you haven't run. Yet."

"Well, you keep falling in my arms. If I run, you'll still find me."

I wince and move back a tad. "That just makes me sound like a stalker."

He pulls me right back against him. "You're my favorite stalker, then."

"You're killing the mood."

"What mood?" he teases.

"Are you really that thick?"

"Why are we still talking about me?" His lips hover so close to mine I can feel their heat. "We were talking about you."

I shrug. "I'm boring."

"I think you're fascinating." Somehow we are swaying now, almost dancing to a nonexistent melody.

"I have my moments," I say, gently running my bottom lip against his. He sighs, though it's more like a growl, deep in his chest. "I mean, I do have two souls and all." His eyes are half-lidded. Mine close of their own accord as I lean in to finally, finally close that gap between us.

But he stops me.

"What are we doing?" he asks, voice barely above a whisper. "How do we always end up like this?"

"I have no idea," I admit. My stomach is starting to tighten, because I think I know what's about to happen. "We just… do."

We stop swaying. He steps back, gently pushing me away, and I'm too stung, shocked, hurt, disappointed to do anything besides let my arms fall down to my sides. He runs a hand through his hair, though I can barely see the motion because I'm staring at the floor, which has gotten really blurry all of a sudden.

"We can't keep doing this," he says. I can't even nod. If I do, the tears will fall and I really don't want him to see my cry. "It's not fair to you. There can't be anything between us, Lily. I'm sorry."

My jaw moves up and down. I don't know what to say. "Yeah," is what I settle on. "No, you're… you're right. I… yeah." My stomach rolls and my heart dies a little. But he's right. It's better this way. He's still in love with Rose, he's going to be in love with River, and even if those weren't existent issues, he's like a century old and he's going to keep on living far beyond that. I'm human, I'll probably dies in like fifty year, if I'm lucky, and I'm in the wrong universe.

I need to go home.

"Well, I managed to scrap together a hearty meal."

Donna's voice breaks the tension. Kinda.

She continues, "So, come on everyone. I haven't been slaving away in the kitchen for it to get cold."

I bite my lip. "I'm really not hungry, Donna. I'm sorry. I need to… go…" I mumble. I spin on my heel and brush past Donna. I really hope she didn't just see the tears that begin to spill as soon as I leave the infirmary.

When I'm clear around the corner, I break off into a run for my room. I throw the door open, shut it as gently as I can manage, then jump face first onto my bed, sobbing loudly, completely losing control of my emotions.

One thought, just one, keeps running through my head. As much as I try to toss it away, the sobs wracking my body, making me almost convulse, just heighten the pain of that thought. That horrible, terrible, not good thought. The thought that will be my undoing.

I went and did the one thing a companion should never do. The one thing that will drive him further and further away from me, until I have no choice but to leave. The one thing that you should never, ever do when the Doctor is involved.

I've fallen in love with him.


	38. 15:  Midnight Part One

**I was going to do an interlude, but I decided to dig right in. Like Lily, this is one of my favorite episodes and actually one of the reasons why I started this story. Because I think, at the end of this ordeal, the Doctor just needs a hug from someone close to him. Yup, I'm excited about this one.  
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><p><strong>.15.<strong>

**Midnight**

**Part One**

Now, THIS is the life.

I'm lounging in a soft white bathrobe in front of a pool on a comfortable white plastic lounge chair. Sunlight wafts down from the thick glass ceiling, warm enough to be pleasant, but not too warm that I'm uncomfortable. The huge crystal clear pool is like a mirror, reflecting the luxurious walls and columns as well as the sky. I occasionally sip on a sweet cocktail made from exotic fruits I couldn't begin to name or even pronounce, but it does taste a bit like papaya and guava.

I close my eyes and try to relax, listening to Donna's gentle breathing at my right, allowing her steady rhythm and calm composure to meld with me. Of course, try as I might, I can't stop the twitchy feeling in my middle, ready to bubble and burst at any second.

I will not go with him. I will not.

"Calm down, will you?" Donna says. Her tone isn't quite annoyed, but there is a touch of exasperation.

I fidget, picking at the soft terrycloth of the bathrobe. "Sorry. Is it that obvious?"

She sighs, opening her eyes and turning her head toward me. "You've been out of sorts ever since Twilight."

That was three days ago. In that time, I've tried to avoid the Doctor as best as I could. When I did see him, my face went beet red and my words came out in a jumble, stuttering over words I should have no problem with. We haven't even looked directly at each other. It wasn't until the Doctor suggested going to Midnight that I started talking in normal person sentences, protesting. Loudly. Trying to come up with all these reasons why we shouldn't. When his determination became finite, I even asked him to drop me off somewhere, anywhere else, if it meant not going there. But then he asked me why and I couldn't come up with a reason that made any sense. I couldn't tell him why, obviously. And after giving the matter much thought, I realized that he has to go to Midnight and I was just making things harder. So I shut my mouth, vowing to stay with Donna.

"Twilight was… interesting," I say.

Donna shakes her head. "I swear, you and the Doctor need to snog and get it over with."

My face instantly flares up and my heart starts to race. "That's really not a good idea."

"Oh please. It's clear you fancy each other."

I start picking at the cuticle on my thumb. "Looks are deceiving."

"He needs to stop being so thick and see what's in front of him. Rose is gone, from what he says she's never coming back, and you're right in front of him."

I bite my lip and look away. "Can we, like, not talk about this, Donna?"

She shrugs and puts her head back down. "All right. I'm just saying…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I mumble.

We sit for a moment in awkward silence. I've just closed my eyes when a very familiar sounds makes them open. My body instantly tenses. This was in my top five favorite episodes. I've watched it more than most of them. Even after all this time, I still remember it quite well. So I know what the sound of the ringing phone means.

A butler, dressed in the usual black pants, white shirt, black vest combo, brings over the ringing light purple phone on a silver tray. Donna answers it.

"I said, no."

I know the Doctor is trying to convince her (well, us) to go with him to see the sapphire waterfalls. And that's not because I know the episode so well. It's because he's been yammering about the sapphire waterfalls for three bloody days. Uh… wait, I meant for three freaking days. Dammit, I really need to get an American back in my life. I can't go around talking like a Brit. The words don't sound nearly as cool with my Western Massachusetts accent (read: a general American accent, except T's are pronounced like D's and I use the word wicked a lot… Anyway…)

Donna puts on a fake flirtatious voice. "I bet you say that to all the girls." She pauses and I wait for her to answer. "No, that's four hours there and four hours back, it's like a school trip. I'd rather go sunbathing." Even though I'm staring at the pool, trying to ignore everything, I do notice out of the corner of my eye that Donna glances at me. "Oh, I'm safe. It says in the brochure this glass is fifteen feet thick. Lily will go with you, though."

I sit straight up, almost tumbling off my chair as I swing to my right, shaking my head so fast I'm almost getting a headache. "No! Absolutely not!"

"Yeah, she says she's excited to go. Hold the shuttle for her, will you?"

"Donna!" I stage whisper, gesturing emphatically. "I'm not going with him!"

"No, I'll be fine on my own. It'll be nice to spend some time alone. Oh, look, she's getting up now to get her clothes back on… What? No! We're wearing dressing gowns! …All right, that's a date. Well, not a date. Oh, you know what I mean. Oh, get off!… Yeah, she's on her way. Give her five minutes… Oi! You be careful, all right?" A moment later, she hangs up the phone.

"What was that?" I screech, jumping to my feet.

She smiles, victorious. "You better get going, else he'll get cross. For a Time Lord who's never on time, he does like punctuality."

I take this change of events in. I'd rather sit here in peace and quiet, worrying about the Doctor and the creature who takes over his body and causes two people to be killed and almost causes the Doctor's death.

Ah, crap.

No! No, Lily, he'll be fine. Just fine. He'll get through it.

Of their own accord, my feet start walking. Oh, don't give me that look! Would you let someone you love go through something like that alone? Even if they can't love you back, could you sit there, knowing they're suffering?

Yeah, I'm done for.

"Bye!" Donna says, wiggling her fingers at me as I start jogging out of the room.

"I hate you, you know!" I call over my shoulder.

The only response I hear is laughter.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, still tugging my plain light pink T-shirt in place, I stop in front of the Doctor, who's waiting, arms crossed, next to the entry way to the shuttle. I slip my hair into a high ponytail and plaster a fake smile on my face. I think my attempt to hide my nervousness is making my nervousness more obvious.<p>

"Hi!" I sing-song, voice too high and tone too peppy.

He gives me a confused look, slowly uncrossing his arms. "You're just in time. Boarding is almost over."

As he hands me a ticket, I beam up at him. I'm pretty sure my smile borders on insane. "Sorry about that. I had to change."

"Are you all right?" he asks, voice low.

We walk through the entry way towards the shuttle. "Peachy. I'm sure this will be super fun."

I'm a bit ahead of him at this point. He grabs my wrist and I swear to god, his touch send an electric shock up my arm and straight into my heart. "You don't have to come if you don't want to," he says.

He sounds dejected enough that I stop, take a deep breath, and will myself to calm down. I can get through this, so long as I keep my mouth shut and my emotions hidden.

"No, I want to," I say, taking down the cheerleader act a bit. "It'll be nice. It hasn't been just you and me in a long time. Well," and here I start walking again. "It hasn't been you in this regeneration and me alone… ever. I mean, there's other people coming with us, but well… oh, you know what I mean."

He falls in step with me. "I don't want you to feel pressured."

I stop walking again just before we enter the shuttle. "Doctor," I say, turning to him and really looking at him for the first time since Twilight. Is it just me or does he look a bit haggard? "I don't feel pressured. Things are a bit awkward between us right now and I think this trip will do us some good. Make us friends again, yeah?"

That, or I just can't stand the thought of you having to go through what you're about to go through alone.

I clear my throat. "Let's just put what happened behind us and go look at some sapphire waterfalls, ok?" I hold out my hand to him. I don't like him looking so alone. He might be the last of his kind, but he doesn't have to be alone, even if he thinks he does.

After a moment, he smiles and takes my hand. "Yeah. Sounds brilliant."

I'd like to say that things felt less awkward. But they don't. The awkwardness is still there. I just intend to ignore it. I'm doing the right thing. Right?

We enter the shuttle, hand in hand, and he leads us to our seats after we give our tickets to the flight attendant. I try not to stare at her. How do you act around someone who's very much going to die in a matter of hours?

I settle in the comfy seat, taking the window seat, watching the flight attendant as she hands out the free gifts to Sky, the blonde woman sitting at the front of the shuttle.

The flight attendant hands things to her in rapid succession. "Complimentary juice pack and complimentary…"

"Just the headphones, please," Sky interrupts.

"There you go." She wheels her little cart to the Doctor and I. She starts handing things to him and he hands them right to me. "That's the headphones for Channels 1 to 36; modem link for 3D vidgames; complimentary earplugs; complimentary slippers; complimentary juice pack; and complimentary peanuts. I must warn you some products may contain nuts."

"That'll be the peanuts," the Doctor jokes.

She looks less than impressed. "Enjoy your trip." She turns to move to the people in the seat behind us.

"Oh, I can't wait! Allons-y!" the Doctor continues.

She turns back, forcing a smile. "I'm sorry?"

"It's French, for let's go!"

"Fascinating." This time she does move away, though she doesn't have far to go. For a small shuttle, the seats are pretty close together. She starts offering the complimentary things to the people behind us.

I nudge the Doctor. "Lost some of your charm there?"

He smiles and winks at me, chipper as a schoolboy. "Nah, I've still got it." As he glances over the seat to inspect who's behind us, I blush a little. Yup, he certainly does still have it.

I stare out the window, taking in the sparkling landscape. The land itself is dark and the sky is starry, but the land reflects the sunlight back at us, giving a glimmering effect. Too bad about the xtonic sun. It is a pretty planet. I can see why someone would create a vacation destination here.

"They call it a sapphire waterfall, but it's no such thing," the old man, I believe a professor, is explaining to his assistant, a girl possibly around my age. "Sapphire's an aluminium oxide, but the glacier is just a compound silica with iron pigmentation!"

The flight attendant has moved on to the married couple and their teenage son, who's across the aisle from them. I don't have to look to remember. Is that sad? I mean, I don't remember their names or anything, but I know without looking at them what they look like. The man has a beard, the son wears all black, the mother… ok, I don't remember her as well.

"Have you got that pillow for my neck?" the professor is saying.

"Yes, sir," the girl answers. I can hear here dig through a bag.

"And the pills?"

"Yes, all measured out for you, there you go."

The Doctor turns around in his seat, smiling. The professor reaches over a hand.

"Hobbes! Professor Winfold Hobbes!" he says.

The Doctor shakes his hand. "I'm the Doctor, hello! This is Lily."

"Hi," I say, waving. "Nice to meet you."

"It's my 14th time!" Professor Hobbes tells me.

"Oh," I say, being extra pleasant, despite the anxiety starting to pulsate through me. "Our first."

The girl reaches over the seat as well. "And I'm Dee Dee, Dee Dee Blasco." She shakes my hand, then the Doctor's.

Professor Hobbes cuts her off. "Now don't bother the nice couple! Where's my water bottle?"

I glance at the Doctor, but he's looking around, watching everyone and everything with a quiet interest, as if they are animals in a zoo. I guess for him this is an interesting experience, watching the workings of normal human life.

I catch Sky staring at us and I give her a small smile. She goes back to her book.

"Pleasant people," I say, voice low. I feel like I should say something. The Doctor is being unusually quiet. It's just freaking me out even more.

The Doctor glances around. "Seems like a good lot."

The woman from the small family says, "Don't be silly, come and sit with us. Look! We get slippers!"

Yes, we get slippers. An invisible creature is going to try to take over all our bodies, but, hey, at least we get slippers!

The father adds, "Jethro! Do what your mother says."

Oh god. Why did I agree to this?

"I'm sitting here," a sullen voice says from seemingly out of nowhere.

Yeah, this was a really bad idea…

The father says, "Oh, he's ashamed of us. But he doesn't mind us paying, does he?"

Maybe I can just leave?

"Oh, don't you two start," the mother scolds. "Should I save the juice pack or have it now? Look, peach and clementine!"

I keep fidgeting in my seat. Despite the cushion, I can't get comfortable. The artery in my neck is pulsing faster than it should. This really was a very bad idea. The Doctor can get through this on his own… I can go back to the pool and not have to go through this.

The flight attendant walks to the front of the shuttle. "Ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon, welcome on board the Crusader 50, if you would fasten your seatbelts, we'll be leaving any moment. Doors!"

The whooshing breaks any hope of escape. I'm locked in now. Back stiff, I clench the arm rests.

"Shields down!"

The view slowly disappeared. Great, now I'm trapped in a small space with all these people and no way out. Have I mentioned this was a bad idea?

"I'm afraid the view is shielded until we reach the Waterfall Palace. Also, a reminder, Midnight has no air, so please don't touch the exterior door seals. Fire exit at the rear, and should we need to use it... you first." She laughs. It just grates on my nerves.

Sensing my distress, the Doctor gives me a worried look. "You all right?" he leans over, whispering.

The flight attendant continues, "Now I will hand you over to Driver Joe."

"It's just as small on the inside," I answer, unable to keep the worry out of my voice. Stifling a chuckle, the Doctor offers me his hand. I take it, squeezing slightly. He caresses my hand with his thumb. I think he means to calm me down, but that just serves to make me more anxious in a different way.

"We'll be fine. I promise," he says, giving me a bright smile. I return with a much more lame smile.

The intercom statics on and the screen at the front of the ship powers on with a map. "Driver Joe at the wheel! There's been a diamondfall at the Winter Witch Canyon, so we'll be taking a slight detour, as you'll see on the map." The Doctor puts his glasses on. The map is drawing out our journey, reminding me a bit of the maps in the Indiana Jones movies. "The journey covers 500 clicks to the Multifaceted Coast. Duration is estimated at four hours. Thank you for traveling with us, and as they used to say in the olden days, wagons roll!"

The shuttle vibrates as it starts. Something is beeping. We start moving forward. I clutch the Doctor's hand a bit harder. He pats my knee with his other hand.

"Don't worry, Lily," he says.

I open my mouth and close it. I don't even know what to say. I can't even lie at this point.

Oh, god, what if the creature decides to latch onto me? Why didn't I think of that?

The flight attendant takes over. "For your entertainment, we have the Music Channel playing retrovids of Earth Classics." Small screens flip open from the ceiling, playing some sort of weird 1960's or so video of some blonde woman in black leather singing a song I never heard of. It's already grating on my nerves. "Also, the latest artistic installation from Ludovico Klein." She pushes a button and a projection of some rotating yellowy blob blinds me. Ok, have I mentioned that I don't really like loud things and bright lights? Especially not when I'm already freaking out. "Plus, for the youngsters, a rare treat - the Animation Archives." Another projector turns on with a black and white cartoon of a funny looking character with a blinking light bulb on his head. "Four hours of fun time! Enjoy!"

I swear to god… Everything has just gotten brighter and louder. I try closing my eyes, but it doesn't help. It just makes the bright lights even worse. I open them. Oh, look, it's a Betty Boop cartoon. That would be awesome if it weren't for this WICKED ANNOYING MUSIC!

I tug on the Doctor's hand. He was looking around with disgust on his face. We share a look and he takes his hand back, reaching into his pocket to pull out the sonic screwdriver. I can barely hear the whirring of the sonic.

And then everything stops. The small screens flip back up, the "art" goes dark, and the cartoon shuts off.

I sigh, relieved, and smile at the Doctor. For the first time since we came to Midnight, it's a real smile. He returns it with the same amount of brightness.

"Well, that's a mercy!" Professor Hobbes says, delighted.

The flight attendant walks back up. "I do apologize, ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon. We seem to had a failure of the Entertainment System…"

"Ohh." The Doctor feigns disappointment.

The mother speaks up. "But what do we do?"

"We've got four hours of this!" the father adds. "Four hours of just... sitting here?"

The Doctor winks at me, then jumps up to crouch on the seat. "Tell you what! We'll have to talk to each other instead!"

I glance over the top of the seat to see everyone's doubtful looks. The Doctor just grins at them.

Oh, this is going to be interesting.


	39. 15:  Midnight Part Two

**Be warned. Scary times ahead.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.15.<strong>

**Midnight**

**Part Two**

**98 Kliks Later...**

The Doctor is honestly too good at this. For someone who claims to prefer to be alone, he sure does love talking to people. He's kneeling on the seat in front of the married couple, whose names, I was reminded, are Val and Biff, and he is resting his arms on the back of the seat, engrossed in the story they are telling us. Professor Hobbes and Dee Dee are also joining in on the story time. Sky is ignoring everyone, preferring to read her book, and Jethro, Val and Biff's son, is pretty much mortified at and bored with his parents, so he's being… well, all teenager like. I myself stayed in my row, having taken over the Doctor's seat, so that I can at least pretend to be a part of the crowd and try to distract myself for what is to come.

Val is laughing, a high pitch annoying laugh. "So Biff said, 'I'm going swimming.'"

"Oh, I was all ready, trunks and everything! Nose plug!" Biff adds.

"He had this little nose plug, you should've seen him."

Biff takes over again. "And I went marching up to the lifeguard, and he was a Shamboni, you know, those big foreheads?" Biff motions at his own forehead, extending it.

Val continues to giggle. "Great big forehead!"

"And I said, where's the pool? And he said…" And here Biff and Val say in unison, "'The pool is abstract!'"

They both burst out laughing, the Professor joining them, Dee Dee giggling along.

Val is the first to almost recover. "It wasn't a real pool!"

"It was a concept!" Biff says.

The Doctor says, "And you wore a nose plug!"

"I was like this!" Biff pinches his nose. "Mmm...where's the pool?"

The Doctor lets out a great big laugh, one I haven't heard from him before. Just the sound of it makes me smile. Honestly, the story wasn't that funny to me, but hey. Whatever, right? People are having a good time. Might as well let them.

* * *

><p><strong>137 Kliks Later…<strong>

"So," I say to Dee Dee. "Where are you from?"

We're sitting side by side. I'm shuffling a deck of cards, intent on teaching her how to play Slapjack, but I can't help but ask the question. She's the first human I'm able to actually have a conversation with who wasn't born on Earth.

"Galsec Seven. You?"

I split the deck. "Earth, actually."

She gasps. "Earth?"

I fan the cards together. "Yeah."

"But… no one lives on Earth anymore!"

Whoops. Forgot to ask how far in the future we are. Of course this is the one time the Doctor didn't tell us. "Well, uh, I mean New Earth?" Sure, make it sound like a question. I glance up at Dee Dee to give her a sheepish smile, but catch Sky watching us. She turns back to her book as soon as she sees me look at her.

"Oh, that's where the University is!" Dee Dee says, apparently taking me at face value. Whew. Glad I don't have to worry about that anymore.

The Doctor, Val, and Biff start laughing again, which is distraction enough for me to get my act together.

"Right, so, Slapjack!" I say, dealing out the cards. "It's pretty easy."

"Your accent is so strange. I haven't heard anyone speak like you before, except in old movies," Dee Dee interrupts. She covers her mouth. "I am so sorry. That was rude."

I concentrate on dealing. "It's ok. I'm pretty used to it. You all sound so nifty and I just sound… not…"

"You sound like the actors from America back on Earth centuries ago. I think it's fascinating."

Ok, this is totally a bad idea. I finish dealing. "Yeah, my parents were obsessed with movies from back then." I scoop up my cards. That was a lame lie. I should probably ask the Doctor what I should say when someone comments on my accent. Did Captain Jack ever go through this? I honestly cannot remember.

"I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I? I'm sorry." She pats her cards together so that they are in a deck. "I have a tendency to ask too many questions. My parents have always told me that I'm too curious."

My heart softens and I smile at her. "There's no such thing as too curious. Curiosity is good. Well, usually. Well, depending on the situation. Well, oh, never mind. You know what I mean."

Her eyebrows are wrinkled and she looks like she's concentrating. "Sorry, can you speak a little slower?"

I sigh. "Yes."

* * *

><p><strong>150 Kliks Later...<strong>

After losing spectacularly to Dee Dee three times in a row, I suggest we go get some coffee. The Doctor joins us on the way there, listening to Dee Dee talk about herself.

She hands me a cup of coffee, to which I add a generous portion of cream and sugar. "I'm just a second-year student, but I wrote a paper on the Lost Moon of Poosh, Professor Hobbes read it, liked it, took me on as a researcher." She hands the Doctor a cup of coffee as well, then pours herself some. I blow on mine to cool it down. "Just for the holidays. Well, I say researcher, most of the time he's got me fetching and carrying. But it's all good experience!"

I breathe in the steam from the coffee. Oh, my delicious caffeine friend, it has been too long…

"And did they ever find it?" the Doctor asks.

"Find what?"

I inhale more steam. My mouth is watering. "The Lost Moon of Poosh," I say.

Dee Dee laughs. "Oh no! Not yet!"

The Doctor grins. "Well, maybe that'll be your great discovery, one day. Here's to Poosh!" He lifts his cup in salute.

I lift mine as well. "To Poosh!"

Dee Dee clinks her cup with ours. "Poosh!"

We all take a sip.

And I immediately spit mine out. Oh god! Was that sugar or super-duper sweetener?

* * *

><p><strong>183 Kliks Later…<strong>

"Is this the part of the trip where we have a heart to heart and solve all our problems in twenty seconds?"

The Doctor and I are sitting together at the back of the shuttle, as far away from everyone as we can get. He had pulled me aside after I had spent some time alone at our seats, staring into space. If I could have, I would have read, but, lo and behold, I didn't bring a book or my e-reader, which is, you know, in a different universe.

"No!" the Doctor says. "I mean, not that we can't have a heart to heart… but I just wanted to make sure that you're all right. You seem nervous."

I shrug one shoulder. "I'm traveling in a small shuttle on a planet that can kill us with its sun. If something goes very wrong, we're pretty much all dead. Of course I'm nervous."

The Doctor shakes his head. "We're perfectly safe. There's nothing to be nervous about, Lils."

"Ugh," I say, curling my upper lip. "Don't call me that. River called me that."

"Speaking of, I have a few questions about her…"

I hold up my hand. "Nope. Not gonna happen. Don't bother asking."

"But…"

"Nope!" I turn away.

"But…"

"Nuh-uh!" I walk down the aisle and away from him. Ohh, look at that. Two crises avoided in one go.

* * *

><p><strong>251 Kliks Later…<strong>

"So, this is Midnight, d'you see?" Professor Hobbes points at the graph on his slide. "Bombarded by the sun! Xtonic rays, raw galvanic radiation. Dee Dee, next slide!"

Can we just talk for a second about the fact that they still use slides however far we are in the future? I thought these things were ancient when I was in college, and that was literally centuries ago!

Professor Hobbes continues on. "It's my pet project. Actually, I'm the first person to research this. Because you see... the history is fascinating, because there is no history. There's no life in this entire system, there couldn't be. Before the Leisure Palace Company moved in, no-one had come here in all eternity. No living thing."

Silence.

And then:

"But how d'you know?" Jethro says. He's sitting behind me now, leaning over the seat so that he can watch the presentation. "I mean, if no-one can go outside…"

Val waves her hand. "Oh, his imagination! Here we go!"

"He's got a point, though," the Doctor says from his perch on top of the seat next to me. I'm sitting like a normal person, though my elbow is resting on the armrest and my head is poking into the aisle.

"Exactly!" Professor Hobbes exclaims. "We look upon this world through glass. Safe inside our metal box. Even the Leisure Palace was lowered down from orbit. And here we are now, crossing Midnight, but never touching it."

A second of nothing. I'm waiting for it, but it still makes me gasp and my heart pound. The shuttle rattles, then stops. The engines clearly power down. I put a hand over my racing heart and try to calm my breath.

Val is the first to speak up. "We've stopped. Have we stopped?"

My hand is shaking and I want to close my eyes, but that would be very suspicious.

"Are we there?" Biff asks.

"We can't be," Dee Dee says. "It's too soon."

Professor Hobbes add in. "They don't stop, Crusader vehicles never stop."

The flight attendant, clearly as confused as we are, steps forward. "If you could just... return to your seats, it's... just a small delay." She goes to the opposite side of the shuttle as everyone does as she says.

"Maybe just a pit stop," Biff says.

Professor Hobbes is anxious. "There's no pit to stop in, I've been on this expedition 14 times, they never stop."

Sky snaps from the front seat. "Well evidently, we have stopped, so there's no point in denying it."

Jethro starts laughing, teasing. "We've broken down!"

Val is not pleased. "Thanks, Jethro," she says, voice flat.

"In the middle of nowhere!"

Angry, Biff snaps at him. "That's enough, now stop it!"

The flight attendant walks down the aisle. "Ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon, we're just experiencing a short... delay, the driver needs to stabilize the engine feeds." I glance up at the Doctor and catch the slight disbelief on his face. He locks eyes with me, face set with concern. The flight attendant continues, "It's perfectly routine, so if you could just stay in your seats…"

The Doctor pops down from his seat, takes my hand, and drags me up, leading me to the cockpit. I keep my mouth shut.

The flight attendant steps in our way. "No, I'm sorry sir, miss, I... could you please…"

The Doctor whips out his psychic paper. "There you go, engine expert! She's my assistant. Two ticks!"

He opens the door and pulls me in with him as the flight attendant continues. "Sorry sir, miss, if you could just sit down! You're not supposed to be in there…"

And the door close.

He lets go of my hand to lean between the two seats.

The driver says, "Sorry, if you could return to your seat, sir…"

The Doctor flashes the psychic paper again, speaking too quick for even me to really follow. "Company insurance, let's see if we can get an early assessment. That's my assistant. Lily, take better notes this time. Let's not have a repeat of the last time." He barely takes a breath. "So, what's the problem, Driver Joe?"

Driver Joe briefly hesitates. "We're stabilizing the engine feeds, won't take long."

The Doctor looks over at the wall Driver Joe indicated. "Um, no, cause that's the engine feed, that light there, and it's fine, and it's a micropetrol engine, so stabilizing doesn't really make sense, does it? Sorry! I'm the Doctor, I'm very clever. So, what's wrong?"

Ok, why did he bring me back here if all he's going to do is ignore me?

"We just stopped," the other guy says. "Look, all systems fine and everything's working, but we're not moving."

Even though I can't see what's going on, I do hear the distinct sound of the sonic before the Doctor says, "Yeah you're right. No faults. And who are you?"

"Claude, I'm the mechanic. Trainee."

"Nice to meet you."

Driver Joe speaks up. "I've sent a distress signal. They should dispatch a rescue truck, top speed."

"How long till they get here?" I say. Hey, he brought me up here. Might as well ask some questions.

"About an hour," Driver Joe looks over his shoulder at me. Then does a double take. "Who are you again?"

I clear my throat. "Lily, I'm his assistant. I'm taking notes for the insurance claim." Oh, wait, I'm not holding anything to take notes with… So, I quickly add. "Well, I'm taking notes in my mind. Photographic memory. Except for last time…"

"Well," the Doctor interrupts. "Since we're waiting... shall we take a look outside? Just... lift the screens a bit?"

Driver Joe sputters. "It's 100% Xtonic out there, we'd be vaporized."

"No, those windows are Finitoglass, they'd give you a couple of minutes. Go on! Live a little!"

I step forward and place my hand on Driver Joe's shoulder. "Please?" I say, using my best flirtatious voice.

Driver Joe blushes, sputtering again, but he does give in, hitting the button that raises the shields.

I don't even know how to describe it. Large geometric towers of crystal sparkle in the light, reaching into the sky like skyscrapers. I press close to the Doctor, who puts his arm around my waist to let me squeeze in so that I can see better. We all laugh a little in awe.

"Ohh, that is beautiful…" the Doctor says in his low, ruff voice. It makes my stomach jump a little when he sounds like that.

"Look at all those diamonds!" says Claude. "Poisoned by the sun. No-one can ever touch them."

The Doctor is nearly whispering. "Joe, you said we took a detour?"

"Just about 40 kliks to the west," Driver Joe says.

"Is that a recognized path?

"No, it's a new one, the computer worked it out, on automatic."

"So we're the first?" the Doctor whispers. "This piece of ground. No-one's ever been here before. Not in the whole of recorded history." The Doctor, I think forgetting himself in the glory of seeing something new, presses his lips against my ear. "See? Don't I always bring you to the best places?"

I want to respond, but Claude interrupts. "Did you just...? No, sorry, it's... nothing."

"What did you see?" the Doctor and I ask, my words tripping over his.

"Just there," Claude points. "That ridge. Like... like a shadow. Just, just for a second."

I close my eyes and my body tightens up. Here it comes. It's about to happen…

"What sort of shadow?" the Doctor asks, dropping his arm from around my waist. That's fine. I back away, pressing my back against the door just as the alarm starts to ring.

"Xtonic rising! Shields down," Driver Joes takes control once again.

I turn around so my forehead is against the door and squeeze my eyes shut. Find a happy place. Find a happy place.

Claude starts shouting. "Look, look, there it is, there it is, look, there!"

I put my hands over my ears, but it doesn't do much to muffle the sound.

"Where? What was it?" the Doctor asks in a panic.

"Like, just, something... shifting, something sort of... dark. Like it was…running."

Do not cry. Do not cry… Happy place! Uhh… crap, what is my happy place?

"Running which way?" asks the Doctor.

I think of the Doctor's smiling face. But not this regeneration. I think of 11, of those six weeks we were all alone together. Just me, him, the Tardis, and infinite possibilities…

"Towards us…"

The best moments are in the Tardis, when we would tease each other and he would try to show me how to fly her. Not as easy as it looks, even with her trying to help me. I mean, she was on her best behavior and went where ever I asked her to…

Driver Joe clears his throat. "Right, Doctor, Lily, back to your seats and not a word, rescue's on its way. If you could close the door, thank you."

Sometimes I thought she liked me better…

A hand on my back makes me jump. I gasp, facing a worried Doctor. "You ok?"

I just nod and force a smile. "We need to get out there right now."

"Lily…"

"Doctor, right now!" My voice shrieks a little bit. Unintentional. But I would like to keep the timeline on this one as intact as possible.

He presses the door open without another word. I past onto my face what I hope is a pleasant look.

Sky jumps out of her seat immediately. "What did they say? Did they tell you? What is it, what's wrong?"

I walk away from them to take my seat again. I am not getting up. Not again.

"Oh, just stabilizing, happens all the time," the Doctor says.

"I don't need this. I'm on a schedule. This is completely unnecessary!" Sky's panic is not helping my panic whatsoever.

The flight attendant walks past them. "Back to your seats, thank you," she chirps. As she enter the cockpit, the Doctor flops back next to me.

He gives me a dark look and starts to say something, but is interrupted by Dee Dee. "Excuse me, Doctor, but they're micropetrol engines, aren't they?"

"Now, don't bother the man." Professor Hobbes reminds me of Scrooge.

"My father was a mechanic," Dee Dee continues. "Micropetrol doesn't stabilize, what does 'stabilize' mean?"

"Weeell," the Doctor says. "Bit of flim-flam. Don't worry, they're sorting it out."

"So it's not the engines?" Professor Hobbes asks.

"It's just a little pause, that's all," the Doctor tries to assure.

I duck my head and close my eyes as the professor says, "How much air have we got?"

Dee Dee says, "Professor, it's fine."

Val says, "What did he say?"

The Doctor exclaims. "Nothing!"

Val says, "Are we running out of air?"

Professor Hobbes says, "I was just speculating…"

The door to the cockpit whooshes open. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter.

Biff says, "Is that right, miss? Are we running out of air?"

Val says, "Is that what the Captain said?"

The flight attendant says, "If you could all just remain calm…"

Val says, "How much air have we got?"

Jethro says, "Mum, just stop it."

The flight attendant says, "I assure you, everything is under control."

Biff says, "Well, doesn't look like it to me!" …He reminds me of Todd Vilmagooch from Atlantis…

Val says, "Well, he said it."

Aaand here comes the panic. God, I hate loud noises. Hate them. Hate them when I'm trying to calm myself down… Everyone is talking over each other and they are getting louder and louder, trying to be heard, but it just makes them more loud and I can't even hear myself think and, oh god, I hope the creature doesn't try to take me over!

"QUIET!" the Doctor shouts over the cacophony.

Blissful silence.

"Thank you," the Doctor says. "Now, if you'd care to listen to my good friend Dee Dee…"

"Oh! Um…" Dee Dee is taken aback. "It's just that... well, the air's on a circular filter so... we could stay breathing for ten years."

"There you go! And I've spoken to the Captain, I can guarantee you, everything's fine. Right, Lily?" He grins down at me, urging me to agree.

I open one eye to glare at him.

BANG BANG!

My heart starts up again. Two knocks, two echoing knocks, on the side of the shuttle.

I close both eyes again.

I hear everyone's clothing rustling against the seats. One of the seats squeaks a little.

"What was that?" Val asks, worried.

"It must be the metal," Professor Hobbes explains. Know it all… "We're cooling down, it's just settling…"

"Rocks," Dee Dee adds. "Could be rocks falling."

Biff is getting upset. "What I want to know is, how long do we have to sit here?"

BANG BANG!

Different side of the shuttle. I squeeze my eyes shut. Something presses against my shoulder. I jump, opening my eyes.

"What is that?" Sky asks.

The Doctor's hand is on my shoulder. He's split between watching me and observing the shuttle.

"Is someone out there?" Val reasons.

Professor Hobbes scoffs. "Now, don't be ridiculous!"

The Doctor pulls me up by the shirt. Whimpering, I uncurl myself from the seat so that I'm kneeling next to him.

"Like I said, it could be rocks," Dee Dee says.

"We're out in the open," the flight attendant is getting worried. "Nothing could fall against the sides."

BANG BANG!

Ok, forget this shit! I wrap my arms around the Doctor's middle, squeezing him tight. He absently brushes back my hair, though he is still looking around the shuttle.

"Knock, knock," the Doctor says.

Jethro answers, just as creepy. "Who's there?"

Everyone is silent for a moment. I take a deep breath and try to get my bravery back. I make myself let go of the Doctor, though I do allow myself, as I kneel higher to see over the top of the seat, to clutch at his suit jacket.

Sky is the first to break the silence. "Is there something out there? Well? Anyone?"

BANG BANG!

I close my eyes for a second, then open them. I will not curl into a ball like a scared little child. I swear…

"What the hell is making that noise?" Sky's voice is high, terrified.

Professor Hobbes is trying to reason this out. "I'm sorry, but the light out there is Xtonic, that means it would destroy any living thing, in a split-second. It is impossible for someone to be outside."

BANG BANG!

Ooo, didn't even close my eyes that time, though I did tense up. The Doctor places a hand behind my neck.

"Well, what the hell is that, then?" Sky shrieks.

The Doctor lets me go, rushing to the area the sound was heard from. He pulls out his stethoscope and presses the… uh… listening thingy against the wall.

The flight attendant snaps at him. "Sir! You really should get back to your seat."

The Doctor waits a moment, listening. "Hello?"

BANG BANG!

We all jump, turning towards the fire exit. I nearly fall out of the seat to look that way.

Jethro is entranced. "It's moving…"

The Doctor rushes to the middle of the shuttle, then stops, watching the door. It starts to rattle, as if someone is trying to open it. Not thinking, I scramble to my feet, rushing to the Doctor's side, grabbing his forearm.

"Doctor…" I say, voice barely over a whisper.

"It's trying the door!" Val exclaims.

Professor Hobbes is adamant. "There is no 'it', there's nothing out there. Can't be."

We hear the rattling again, then suddenly the pounding is on the roof.

BANG BANG!

"Doctor," I repeat, taking his hand this time. "The vortex manipulator. Maybe you can fix it and we can all get out of here, back to the luxury palace."

"No," he says. "There's too many people. You'd have to take at least three trips and you'd be lucky to make the third. Remember the Library?"

BANG BANG!

We all spin, once more facing the front.

Val is more than beside herself. "That's the entrance. Can it get in?"

Dee Dee answers first. "No, that door's on two hundred weight of hydraulics."

Professor Hobbes chastises her. "Stop it. Don't encourage them."

"What do you think it is?"

Biff reaches for the door.

"Biff, don't…" Val pleads.

"Mr. Cane, better not…" the Doctor warns.

The man in question is feeling at the door. "Nah, it's cast iron, that door…"

"No, really, don't!" I reach out to stop him, but the Doctor pulls me back.

Biff knocks on the door three times.

BANG BANG BANG!

Why does nobody ever listen! Annoyed, I spin, bumping into the Doctor's chest. He hugs me to him, mistaking my annoyance for fear. Well, yeah, I am scared, but at this point I'm more annoyed. Did Biff really need to do that?

"Three times!" Val cries. "Did you hear that, it did it three times?"

"It answered!" Jethro is amazed.

"It did it three times!"

The Doctor smoothes my hair. The hand at my back lifts, but he's still petting my head. "All right, all right, all right, everyone, calm down."

"No, but it answered," Sky says. I think she's lost it. "It… answered, don't tell me that thing's not alive, it answered him!"

BANG BANG BANG!

The Doctor releases me to go to the door. Thinking face on, he presses his ear against the door.

"I really must insist you get back to your seats!" the flight attendant answers.

Sky turns on her, angry. "No! Don't just stand there telling us the rules! You're the hostess, you're supposed to do something!"

The Doctor bangs on the door four times.

Nothing. Just the sound of everyone trying to catch their breath.

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

Sky backs away from everyone. "What is it, what the hell's making that noise? She said she'd get me. Stop it, make it stop, somebody make it stop! Don't just stand there looking at me, it's not my fault, he started it with his stories…"

"Calm down!" someone says. I don't even know who.

"... And he made it worse…"

"You're not helping!" someone else adds.

"...Why couldn't you leave it alone? Stop staring at me! Just tell me what the hell it is!"

The Doctor is at my side again, watching, waiting, calculating, trying to figure it out.

BANG BANG BANG BANG.

Sky keeps backing up, panicking. "It's coming for me!" BANG! "Ohh it's coming for me!" BANG! "It's coming for me…" BANG! It's coming for me! It's coming for me!" BANG BANG BANG!

Her back is pressed against the door.

I can't move. I can't speak. I have to let it happen.

The Doctor pushes past everyone, holding a hand out to her as she starts screaming, such chilling, blood curdling screams.

"Get out of there!" the Doctor yells.

Chaos erupts.

The shuttle goes black. Sparks fly. The shuttle rocks, back and forth and back and forth, throwing us against the seats time and time again. I reach out blindly, trying to not crash into anything that can hurt me. But my feet completely lose balance and I summersault on the floor, completely losing my footing and crashing into someone.

Then it all just… stops…


	40. 15:  Midnight Part Three

**Ok, three things: One, I'm up way past my bed time writing this for you. Two, there will not be an update until after Christmas, which is why I tried to make this longer for you. And, three, there are some intentional grammar "errors" for when two people are speaking together at the same time, so no need to point those out.**

**Now I'm going to go fall into bed. Good-night.  
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* * *

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**Midnight**

**Part Three**

Oh holy mother of a monkey's uncle!

As soon as everything stabilizes, I'm feeling myself up. No, not like that. I feel fine, a bit sore from the tumbling, but fine nonetheless. Nothing is trying to take over my consciousness. I think…

I start blathering the first words that come to my head, running through the tongue twister so fast, I'm sure no one else could understand me. "Chester chooses chestnuts, cheddar cheese with chewy chives. He chews them and he chooses them. He chooses them and he chews them. Those chestnuts, cheddar cheese, and chives in cheery, charming chunks." I sigh, happy. "Well, merciful Zeus. I'm fine."

"That's lovely," says a voice behind my ear. "Now can you let me up, please?"

I crane my neck, meeting two big brown eyes, and realize that not only am I against something solid, but it's warm and breathing and smells like the universe. The Doctor. Blushing, I pull myself up, using the top of a nearby seat to do so. "Sorry," I mumble, ducking behind a curtain of my hair.

The Doctor follows suit, groaning. "Arms. Legs. Neck. Head. Nose. I'm fine... Lily?" He gives me a bit of an exhausted look.

I tuck my hair behind my ear. "Peachy. For now."

His lips press into a thin line. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." He takes a moment to stare at something behind my shoulder, then he spins around to face the back of the shuttle. "How are we? Everyone all right?"

I glance at the screen I think he was looking at. During the crash, the screens fell down, playing a now static-y version of that weird music video it was playing before. But as soon as the Doctor turns around, the image changes.

My heart jumps a beat.

Rose.

She's clearly calling for the Doctor. Twice. Then the image fades to black before I can try to tell the Doctor anything. Not that I would have told him anything. That would have been a very bad idea, actually. He can't know that Rose is looking for him… oh… Oh, we are so close to the end now…

I close my eyes and turn away from the blank screen.

Professor Hobbes is clinging to the armrest of a seat. "Earthquake, must be…"

"But that's impossible," Dee Dee says. She's sitting right in front of me, clutching her side. "The ground is fixed, it's solid."

"We've got torches, everyone, take a torch, they're in the back of the seats," the flight attendant announces from the way back of the shuttle.

Everyone starts pulling out flashlights. I grab one as well, clicking it on, shining it up at the Doctor. Not that he's paying attention to me. I hand him a flashlight as well. My heart is beating so fast, I'm surprised I'm not going into shock or cardiac arrest or something.

"Oh, Jethro, sweetheart, come here…" Val whines.

"Never mind me, what about her?" Jethro asks.

Tense, I turn towards his voice. Towards the front of the shuttle, where the seats are ripped up and Sky is crouched down with her hands on her head.

I immediately slide down to my bottom and pull my knees up to my chest, scooting so I'm against the side of the shuttle.

Through the darkness, I hear the Doctor's voice. "It's all right, it's all right, it's all right, it's over. We're still alive..."

But his voice is too close and there is a hand on my knee.

I open my eyes. I didn't even know that I closed them. The Doctor is watching me, concern flooded in his wide eyes. He brushes my hair away from my damp forehead.

"Doctor," I whisper, voice trembling. "I'm not the one you should be worried about."

His eyebrows dip together. "What do you mean?"

"Sky… Mrs. Silvestry… It has her."

"What has her?" his voice is low, dangerous.

Electricity shoots up my spine. "The creature. The thing. I don't know what it is, but it has her."

"How do you know?"

I tip my head to the side and squint at him. "Think."

He pops right up, rushing away from me. Sighing, I rest my forehead against my arms, which are cupped against my knees.

"Driver Joe, can you hear me?" the flight attendant asks. "I'm not getting any response, the intercom must be down."

Gasping, I jump up, shouting, "No! Don't open the door!"

But the words aren't even out of my mouth before I'm blinded, thrown back by the brightest, whitest light.

Then it's gone and I force myself back to my feet. I've made my bed. I've come here. Knowing what I know, I came willingly. I have to face that. I have to face that I allowed two deaths that didn't need to happen. I point my flashlight at the door along with the others.

"What happened? What was that?" Val exclaims.

"Is it the driver? Have we lost the driver?" Biff trips over Val's words.

"The cabin's gone," I say with the flight attendant.

Professor Hobbes, clearly preferring to live in his mind over his experiences, scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous. It can't be gone, how can it be gone?"

"Well, but you saw it!" Dee Dee snaps.

"There was nothing there, like it was ripped away," the flight attendant says, astonished.

The Doctor, of course, is sonicing a panel in the wall.

"What are you doing?" Biff notices what the Doctor is doing.

The Doctor continues sonicing. "That's better, bit of light, thank you. Molto bene!"

Val is already grating on my nerves. "D'you know what you're doing?"

"The cabin's gone, you'd better leave that wall alone," Biff adds.

"The cabin can't be gone!" Professor Hobbes repeats.

Growling, I shine my flashlight in his eyes. "Right, because a big burst of bright light always emanates from a cockpit. Get a grip on reality, Professor!"

"No, it's safe," the Doctor interrupts before the Professor can retort. The look on Hobbes's face is priceless, though, as if no one has ever told him that he's wrong. "Any rupture would automatically seal itself…" The Doctor continues, removing the cover off the panel. He pauses. "But something sliced it off. You're right. The cabin's gone."

"But if it gets separated…" the flight attendant whispers.

"It loses integrity," the Doctor finishes. "I'm sorry, they've been reduced to dust. The driver and the mechanic." He stands, pinning me with his gaze. He struts right up to me, the beginnings on the Oncoming Storm flashing in his eyes. "Lillian…"

I interrupt him, putting a hand over his mouth. "Listen to me, Doctor. Driver Joe and the mechanic… they sent a distress signal. We're gonna get out of here, I promise." I release his mouth, trying to tell him with my eyes that he shouldn't ask me what I think he wants to ask me. I turn to everyone else. "Help is on the way. We just… we just need to stay calm until they get here."

"Doctor," Jethro says. "Lily. Look at her." He's looking at Sky. Taking a deep breath, I brush past the Doctor, though I stop a few feet away from Sky. I don't want to touch her, I don't want to go near her.

"Sky," I say, throat dry. I clear my throat and try again, taking a couple baby steps towards her. "Mrs. Silvestry?"

No response.

"Why won't she turn around?" Jethro asks, finally sounding nervous.

The Doctor bumps past me, crouching in back of Sky, shining his light at her. "Can you hear me?Are you all right? Can you move, Sky? Just look at me."

"That noise, from the outside…"

Val interrupts her son. "What of it?"

"It's stopped."

"Well, thank God for that."

"But what if it's not outside anymore? What if it's inside?"

"Inside? Where?"

"It was heading for her."

"Sky...it's all right, Sky," the Doctor's voice is quiet, soothing. "I just want you to turn around, face me."

One hand goes down from the side of her head. The other follows a moment later. Oh so slowly she turns around, looking down. Then her head springs up, eyes wild, yet calculating. She looks at the group. She looks at me. She looks at the Doctor.

His head tilts, hers follows. His head tilts the other way, fluid, almost graceful, in calculation. Hers tilts as well, jerky, animal-like. Then her head settles in the middle, almost… content with her conquest.

"Sky?" the Doctor says.

"Sky?" she repeats.

"Are you all right?

"Are you all right?"

"Are you hurt?"

"Are you hurt?"

"You don't have to talk."

"You don't have to talk."

"I'm trying to help."

"I'm trying to help."

"My name's the Doctor."

"My name's the Doctor."

His voices goes up a bit. "OK, can you stop?"

"OK, can you stop?" As does hers.

Now his voice is low. "I'd like you to stop."

"I'd like you to stop." So is hers.

Professor Hobbes butts in. "Why's she doing that?" he asks, enraged.

"Why's she doing that?" Sky's head jerks to him, eyes still wide.

Biff sounds angry and scared. "She's gone mad."

"She's gone mad."

Val's voice goes up in pitch. "Stop it."

"Stop it."

Val screeches. "I said stop it!"

"I said stop it!"

Dee Dee says, "I don't think she can."

"I don't think she can."

Profess Hobbes tries to take control of the situation. "All right, now stop it, this isn't funny."

"All right, now stop it, this isn't funny."

The Doctor points at them. "Sh, sh, sh, all of you."

"Sh, sh, sh, all of you."

Jethro finds all of this amusing. "My name's Jethro!"

"My name's Jethro!"

The Doctor, however, is not pleased. "Jethro, leave it, just shut up!"

"Jethro, leave it, just shut up!"

The Doctor tilts his head at Sky. "Why are you repeating?"

"Why are you repeating?"

He leans in a bit closer. "What is that, learning?"

"What is that, learning?"

He pauses. "Copying?"

"Copying?"

After another pause, he seems to get it. "Absorbing?"

"Absorbing?"

He takes a big breath. "The square root of pi is 1.77245385090551602729816748…"

"The square root of pi is 1.77245385090551602729816748…"

He doesn't even finish before she continues. "…3341. Wow!"

"…3341. Wow!"

Professor Hobbes: "But that's impossible."

"But that's impossible."

Dee Dee: "She couldn't repeat all that."

"She couldn't repeat all that."

Val: "Tell her to stop!"

"Tell her to stop!"

Val: "She's driving me mad."

"She's driving me mad."

Val: "Just make her stop!"

"Just make her stop!"

I slowly start walking towards the Doctor, who jumped up as soon as everyone bursts into chaos, speaking over each other, Sky somehow repeating everything perfectly. Keeping my eye on her jerking head, I sidle close to him, standing on my tip toes so that I can whisper in his ear, as soft as I can. "You need to get away from her."

"You need to get away from her."

I gasp a little, but she's already moving on to absorbing someone else.

"...I'm telling you, whatever your name is…"

The Doctor ignores what I said. "Now, just stop it, all of you…"

"Now, just stop it all of…"

I grab the collar of his shirt, making him look at me. He's incredulous, eyebrows in the middle of his forehead, mouth agape. I lean in again, this time closer, pulling him down to me, so close my lips brush against his ear. Maybe if she can't hear me… "Get away from her right now. You can't save her, Doctor. She's already gone."

"She's already gone." Pause. "Six six six."

Val is nearly in tears, shouting. "...make her stop…"

"...make her stop…"

And then the lights come back on with a high pitch squeal. I drop the Doctor's collar as everyone finally stops shouting. I want to lecture them, I really do, but I also don't want her to repeat me. Who knows if the creature is in our minds? I do not have a mind that someone should be in right now.

But, then again, I can't stop looking at her.

The flight attendant clears her throat. "Well then, that's the back-up system." She walks to the back of the shuttle.

Biff seems almost pleased. "Well! That's a bit better."

Val is still nervous. "What about the rescue, how long's it gonna take?"

The flight attendant answers. "About 60 minutes, that's all."

Professor Hobbes tries to take control. Again. "Then I suggest we all calm down. This panic isn't helping. That poor woman is evidently in a state of self-induced hysteria, we should leave her alone." By the end of his last sentence, Sky is speaking. With him.

Jethro, smarter than he looks, is the first to notice. "Doctor…"

The Doctor is watching Sky as well. "I know."

Professor Hobbes continues along, ignoring everyone. "Doctor, now step back, I think you should leave her... Alone." He finally looks at Sky. "What's she doing?"

Val and Sky say, "How can she do that? She's talking with you... and with me! Oh, my God! Biff, what's she doing?"

Jethro and Sky say, "She's repeating... At exactly the same time."

Dee Dee and Sky say, "That's impossible."

I finally speak up. I can't help myself. And neither can Sky. "You should all stop talking. I think… I think she's learning by speaking along with us. So… seriously, everyone just be quiet."

Val and Sky cannot help herself. "How's she doing it?"

The Doctor and Sky agrees with me. "Mrs. Cane, please, be quiet."

Val and Sky will not listen to reason. "But how can she do that? She's got my voice, she's got my words!"

I and Sky try to talk everyone down. "I mean it! Just stop talking! It'll make everything better. Please." I turn to the Doctor, who's watching Sky.

He kneels down in front of her. He and Sky says, "Now then, Sky. Are you Sky? Is Sky still in there? Mrs. Silvestry?" He and Sky pauses, as if waiting for a response. "You know exactly what I'm going to say, how are you doing that?" Another pause. Then, "Roast beef! Bananas! The Medusa Cascade. Bang! Lily Meyers, Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, TARDIS! Shamble bobble dibble dooble. Oh, Doctor, you're so handsome. Yes I am, thank you. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O…"

Biff and Sky is trying to comfort poor Val. "Sweetheart, be quiet, just... hush now. Hush. She's doing it to me!"

I spin around, glaring at Biff. I and Sky say, "Open your mouth one more time and you will regret it. That is a threat."

I think Biff is too shocked and nervous to retort. His eyes go wide, almost scared, and he holds Val closer.

The Doctor stands, he and Sky is trying to figure this out. "First she repeats. Then she catches up. What's the next stage?"

I and Sky try to explain it to him. "Try her if you want, but she's going to speak with you, speak with me, speak with everyone. Until she stops… You know what the next phase is, don't you?"

The Doctor grabs my arms. He and Sky says, "What is the next phase?"

I really don't want to say it out loud.

"Next phase of what?" Dee Dee and Sky asks.

"But that's not her, is it?" Jethro and Sky asks. "That's not Mrs. Silvestry any more."

I shake my head. "No… something's in her. I have no idea what, but it's there and it's trying to learn."

The Doctor and Sky agrees with me. "Now, I'm all for education, but in this case... maybe not. Let's just... move back." He takes my by the waist, pulling me with him. His other arm is out to his side, motioning for everyone to get back. "Come on. Come with me. Everyone, get back, all of you, as far as you can."

We stop in the back of the shuttle, in what I think is called a galley or something. We stand together, mingle awkwardly.

The Doctor tries to put on a cheery face. Hearing him and Sky speak in that tone is… disconcerting. "Everyone, come on... 50 minutes. That's all we need. 50 minutes till the rescue arrives. And she's not exactly strong, look at her, all she's got is our voices."

Val and Sky is whining. "I can't look at her. It's those eyes."

I have to agree with her. As they continue to discuss this, clearly not listening to what I was trying to tell them, I look back at Sky. Her head jerks to everyone, speaking along with them.

I swallow.

I don't know what to do. I know what's coming and I don't know if I should try to prevent it or if I should just let it happen. Sky is already gone. Someone will sacrifice themselves for us. I don't want to think about who it is, just in case.

Professor Hobbes's and Sky's yelling interrupts my thoughts. "For the last time! Nothing can live on the surface of Midnight."

"Professor, I'm glad you've got an absolute definition of life in the universe, but perhaps the universe has got ideas of its own, mmm?" The Doctor and Sky says, condescending. "Now trust me, I've got previous! I think there might well be some... consciousness inside Mrs. Silvestry, but maybe she's still in there. And it's our job to help her."

I shake my head, but I bite my lip so that I won't speak.

Biff and Sky scoffs. "Well, you can help her, I'm not going near."

The Doctor shakes his head. "No, I've got to stay back. If she's copying us, maybe the final stage is becoming us. I don't want her becoming me, or things could get a lot worse."

Val and Sky laughs. "Oh, like you're so special."

I turn to her, saying with Sky, "Actually, he is. Trust me."

The Doctor grins at me. His attempt at humor is annoying when everything sucks right now. "So that's decided. We stay back, and we wait. When the rescue ship comes, we can get her to hospital."

Oh, that Doctor. So used to getting his way…

We're not even silent for that long when…

The flight attendant and Sky whisper, "We should throw her out."

Aaand they're off.

I walk away. I don't want to be a part of this. I don't want to tempt myself. I don't want to tell the Doctor off, because of course he thinks he can save Sky. But he can't. Because if that thing gets back to the luxury palace, it could infect everyone else. And then where would we be?

I glance down at my vortex manipulator. I'd love to just press the buttons and for once have it work. I'd love to leave. I want out of this situation. Why… WHY did I allow Donna to talk me into this? I knew this was going to happen!

Biff and Sky is saying, "We can't throw her out though, we can't even open the doors."

I knew this chaos was going to take over.

"No one is getting thrown out!" the Doctor and Sky yells.

But I had to come. Because I didn't want the Doctor to have to do this by himself. Not when I can help him. Not when I'm here. Not when I know what's going to happen…

Dee Dee and Sky is explaining how throwing Sky out is possible. "Yes, we can. Cause there's an air pressure seal. Like when you opened the cabin door, you weren't pulled out, you had a couple of seconds, cos it takes the pressure-wall about six seconds to collapse. Well, six seconds exactly. That's enough time to throw someone out."

Because how can you let someone you love go through that alone?

No, wait… that's not the question… That's not true sacrifice. Can I make that sacrifice?

The Doctor and Sky is lecturing the measly humans about right and wrong. "Now, listen, all of you. For all we know that's a brand new life form over there. And if it's come inside to discover us, than what's it found? This little bunch of humans, what d'you amount to? A murder? Cause this is where you decide. You decide who you are. Could you actually murder her? Any of you? Really? Or are you better than that?"

Yes.

Yes, I can make that sacrifice. Because it's him and it's me and I'll be fine. He doesn't have to go through this.

"I'd do it," the flight attendant and Sky says.

I blink at her. Oh, wait. She's just talking about throwing Sky out of the shuttle. Whoop-de-doo. I'm thinking about trying to get an unknown creature to take over my body so that the Time Lord I love doesn't have to go through that. He'll save me. Or the flight attendant will. Either way, I'm sure I'll be fine.

But… how do I get it to take over me instead?

Everyone and Sky is starting to fight again about whether or not to throw Sky out of the shuttle. Would it be better for me to act like we should or shouldn't? Is part of the reason it latched into the Doctor because he wanted to save her, save the creature? Or is it just because he's the smartest of us all?

And how to I convince it to think that I'm the smartest one?

"We can't just throw her out!" I and Sky exclaim. "It's wrong. We… we bring her back to the luxury palace…"

"Leisure Palace," the Doctor and Sky interrupt.

"Yeah, whatever, both of those are stupid names. Anyway, we bring her back and… and I can contain her."

Everyone pauses.

Biff and Sky is the first to react. "Contain her how?"

The Doctor and Sky hates my plan. "_You_ can contain her?"

Dee Dee looks from the Doctor to me, saying with Sky, "What are you talking about?"

I swallow. "We'll take my… ship…" Yeah, I'm such a great liar. It sounds even worse when Sky says it with me. Come on, Lily. You can do this. I jerk my thumb at the Doctor. "He's my companion. I have a ship at the Leisure Palace. We bring Sky right there and I can fly her away. She doesn't even have to hear anyone else. I'll knock her out with my sonic… screwdriver…" Really? Is that the best I can do?

The Doctor grabs my shoulders, bending down to look me right in the eye. "Lily, what are you doing?" His and Sky's voice is incredulous again. Good. I like keeping him on his toes.

"You can stop protecting me," I and Sky say. "It's fine. Once we get Sky away from everyone, I can continue my research."

Professor Hobbes and Sky says, "What research?"

I smile at him. "On newly found life forms. Clearly Sky is a Class 17 Hostile and needs to be taken back to the Initiative… I mean, Institution for Newly Discovered Life Forms. We have the means to restrain her back at HQ."

"I have never heard of such an Institution!" Professor Hobbes and Sky exclaims.

"Well, duh, it's super-duper secret!"

There is a brief pause. Even the Doctor doesn't seem to know what to say.

Dee Dee raises her chin. "I think we should take a vote. All in favor of throwing her out?"

The Doctor and Sky butts in, even as almost everyone's hand raises. "There isn't a vote, it's not happening! Ever. If you try to throw her out that door, you'll have to get past me first."

Another pause.

The flight attendant shrugs. "Ok."

Biff and Sky agrees. "Fine by me."

I shake my head. "Could you actually take hold of someone and throw them out of that door?"

Val glares at me. "Who put you two in charge, anyway?"

"I'm sorry but…" the Professor takes a step forward. "You're a doctor of what, exactly? And what sort of a researcher again?"

The flight attendant looks down her nose at us. "They weren't even booked in. Rest of you, tickets in advance. They just turned up out of the blue."

"Where from?" Val and Sky ask.

I look up at the Doctor. He and Sky answers for us. "We're just... Traveling. We're travelers, that's all."

Val shakes her head. "A traveler, a doctor, or a researcher? Your story keeps changing."

"Who were you talking to?" the flight attendant and Sky asks. "Before you got on board, you were talking to someone, who was that?"

I bite my lip. "Just Donna, our friend."

She glares at me. "You weren't even there when he was talking to her."

"No, I was with Donna."

Everyone is stepping away from us. I step closer to the Doctor. Well, there goes my plan!

"He hasn't even told us his name."

Jethro and Sky says, "Thing is, Doctor, Lily, you've been loving this."

"Loving this!" I and Sky exclaim.

The Doctor scratches the back of his head. "All right, I'm interested, yes, I can't help it, cause whatever's inside her, it's brand new, and that's fascinating!"

Val looks him up and down. "What, you wanted this to happen?"

"No!"

"We're researchers, like I said," I step in front of the Doctor. "Of course we're going to have an interest!"

Biff glares at us. "And you were talking to her, Doctor, all on your own, before all the trouble, right at the front, you were talking to that Sky woman, the two of you together, I saw you."

Jethro and Sky makes the point I did not want him to make. "You called us humans like you're not one of us!"

Dee Dee, who I thought could have been my friend, is against us now. "And the wiring, he went into that panel and opened up the wiring."

I spin to her. "That was after!"

"But how did you know what to do?" Biff and Sky asks.

"Because I'm clever!" the Doctor and Sky shouts.

Everyone is silent now. I think I've just done more damage than good…

"Look," I and Sky say, before they can get more offended. "This is what it wants. It wants us against each other. That's how it's learning, that's how it's going to expand. We need to calm down and stop talking, else something very bad is going to happen.

And that just makes them explode even more. I step back a little as they call start chattering at once, threatening the Doctor and I, bullying us. I don't know what to do now. I don't know how to save this situation.

And then… I hear it…

Jethro.

"Mum, stop, just look…"

His voice is all on its own.

Oh god.

"You keep out of this, Jethro," Biff orders.

Who did she pick?

"Look at her!" Jethro insists.

Dee Dee gasps. "She's stopped…"

"Has she?" I ask. My voice is solo.

Oh no…

"When did she?" the Doctor and Sky asks. "No, she hasn't, she's still doing it."

NO!

"She looks the same to me…" Val pauses, realizing. "No, she's stopped! Look, I'm talking, and she's not!"

Biff tries next. "What about me, is she...? Look! Look at that! She's not doing me, she's let me go!"

The flight attendant steps forward. "Mrs. Silvestry?... Nor me! Nothing!"

The Doctor stomps to Sky, kneeling in front of her. "Sky? What are you doing?" The Doctor and Sky asks.

No. NO! NONONONO!

I tear towards her, sliding to my knees, ignoring the rug burn. I grab Sky by the arms, shaking her.

"No!" I yell in her face. My voice is still solo. "You can't have him! You can't take him! Take me instead! I know more than he does. I can tell you how this will end! Just take me! Me!"

Two arms wrap around my waist, pulling me back. The Doctor pushes my chin up so that I have to look at him. "Everything is going to be fine, Lily."

He let's me go.

I grab at him. "Doctor, stop talking right now! Just stop it! She's going to steal your voice!"

He ignores me, even as I try to cover his mouth with my hand.

He pushes me. He pushes me away. Physically and… well, yeah… you get the picture.

"Mrs. Silvestry. I'm trying to understand," the Doctor and Sky says. "You've captured my speech, what for? What d'you need? You need my voice in particular. The cleverest voice in the room. Why? Cause I'm the only one who can help? Ohh, I'd love that to be true. But your eyes. They're saying something else. Listen to me. Whatever you want, if it's life, or form, or consciousness, or voice, you don't have to steal it. You can find it without hurting anyone. And I'll help you. That's a promise. So. What d'you think?"

"Do we have a deal?" Sky asks.

"Do we have a deal?" the Doctor echoes.

Oh god. I've failed.


	41. 15:  Midnight Part Four

**.15.**

**Midnight**

**Part Three**

"She spoke first," Jethro says, unbelieving.

No. No, no, no!

No! I was supposed to stop this! This didn't need to happen. It was supposed to take me! Me!

Sky's amused and a little bit crazy sounding. "Oh, look at that, I'm ahead of you."

"Oh, look at that, I'm ahead of you."

I don't know what to do? What can I possibly do right now?

Okay, Lily, think! Obviously, in the TV show, he lives. The flight attendant (I should have asked her name) throws herself and Sky out of the shuttle. But will that happen again? Can that happen again?

I should never have come here.

But the fact of the matter is, I did. And now I have to live with that.

So what do I do? Do I sit here and let them have it out, hoping they will make the same decisions? Hope that the Doctor will be saved?

Let me tell you, I wish I had my Alpha Meson pistol. Then I'd just shoot the bitch and we'd all be fine. That's it, from now on, that thing comes with me everywhere I go.

Jethro's voice breaks me from my pondering. "It's passed into the Doctor. It's transferred. Whatever it is, it's gone inside him."

Dee Dee isn't as sure. "No, that's not what happened."

"But look at her!" Val insists.

"Look at me, I can move," Sky starts moving her fingers, shaking her head slowly back and forth. The Doctor echoes every word, though with a good delay, as if he's trying to not repeat her. "I can feel again. I'm coming back to life. And look at him. He can't move."

She turns her insane eyes onto me. "Help me."

"Help me."

"Lily."

"Lily."

"Get me away from him."

"Get me away from him."

"Please."

"Please."

I stare at her a moment, shaking. Then I take a deep breath, steadier than I would have thought, and blink. Once I blink, something in me changes. I don't know how to describe it really. It's like one second I'm petrified and then next… I'm completely calm. My heart isn't even rushing anymore. I have this sort of… mature confidence now. As if I've been through things like this thousands of times and something like this no longer phases me.

"You can do it yourself, Sky," I say. My voice is low, calm. I have a plan now.

Kinda. Well, more of an idea.

She doesn't even pause before turning to Professor Hobbes. "Please, Professor?" She reaches out to him.

Face drooping in surprise, the Professor hesitates a couple times before placing his hands in hers and pulling her up and away from the Doctor.

I immediately take her spot and ignore everyone else around me. I fall to my knees in front of the Doctor, staring at him. His body is stiff, his eyes unbelieving. I can see him try to fight it, try to force it out. His hands are clenched and he's trembling slightly from the effort.

I grab his upper arms. "Listen to me, Doctor," I say, voice hushed, words running over each other. "You have to keep fighting, okay? I promise everything is going to be fine, but you have to keep fighting."

I glance up at the group, now watching Sky noisily and dramatically talk about how it felt when the creature had her. The Doctor repeats every word she says, but he keeps looking into my eyes.

No one else is paying attention to me.

I take a deep breath. "I'm now speaking to whatever is inside the Doctor. You made a big mistake. Yes, he is the cleverest. Yes, he is the oldest. I'm pretty sure you know even more about him now than I do. But then you should also know," I lean forward. "That the Doctor doesn't lose. He doesn't give up. And neither do I."

I tighten my grip on his arms. "Listen to me right now, whatever you are. You picked the wrong Time Lord. You should have picked me. I may not be as smart, but guess what?" I'm whispering in his ear now. "I'm from an alternate universe and I'm trying to get back there. Think about it. A whole new universe, completely different from this one. If you leave him and take me instead… well, you could be in two universes at once." I pull away. "So take me. Take me instead!" I shake him, even as he's repeating everything Sky is saying about the cold planet and our warm bodies. "Take me!"

"Take me."

He's repeating me now.

I smile, but I have a feeling it's one of those crazy smiles. "Good."

"Good."

"Smart choice."

"Smart choice."

I take a breath. "Well, come on then. You learned fast enough last time." He echoes, barely behind. "Do you want me to keep talking so that you can do this easier? Right then. There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o. B. I. NGO. B. I. NGO. B. I. NGO and Bingo was his name… OH!"

I'm thrown back into the dark, into the cold.

I'm aware that my body isn't moving, but I feel like I am. And I'm not alone. I can't see anything, not really, but I know it's there. It's cold, it's hungry, and it's… vicious.

"Well, it is about time!" a voice says. I recognize the voice, but I also don't.

Something else is here in the dark with me. It's warmer, not quite satisfied, but it's calm.

"Who are you?" I ask.

The voice chuckles. "Oh, I can't tell you that. That would be cheating. You need to find out on your own."

It's hard to describe what is going on when you're not really in a real place.

"Why?"

"Oh, Lily, you are inquisitive. But now that I have the chance to speak with your for a bit, I have to tell you: up until recently, your life has been boring to watch."

"Gee, thanks."

As if watching movie in a theater, I focus on the events going on outside this dark place I'm in. The creature has taken control. I know I should be fighting it, but the Other Voice keeps distracting me.

"It's not your fault your universe is boring. No time travel. No adventures. And it would figure that I'd be stuck in the one American that doesn't like to have any fun."

"Hey, I have fun!"

"Now you do. But there was no fun in your universe. It was all… reading and watching telly. Though I did like watching our Doctor."

"Wait… my universe?"

I pull away from what's happening outside.

"No, sorry, I can't tell you more. Besides, we have to keep this thing from taking over our body. Speaking of which, you could give me the reigns more often. I've had to force myself forward to save us a few times, but it just weakens me when you fight it. We share this body, Lily. We might as well get along."

"Wait, what? What are you talking about? What are you?"

"I'm you. You are me. We're… us. Two life energies sharing one body. He's clever, our Doctor."

"Our Doctor?"

"Oh, come on, Lillian. You're clever, too. Who do you think did this to us? In order to save me, he put me in you and together… he can have us both. Convenient for him, I suppose. Not so much for me, but I suppose it's better than the alternative."

"Look, I don't know what you are talking about. I do not have two life energies."

"Stop that. The eterziel said it first, the Doctor confirmed it. You can't lie to me, Lily, because you can never truly lie to yourself."

"Let me guess? I'm a Time Lady who used a chameleon arch to hide herself as a human to escape the Time War."

The voice chuckles again. "Not even close, not even original. I've had to suffer through that fan fiction, too, you know."

"Oh shut up. You're making me lose my concentration."

Because, though I don't really feel like I'm anywhere concrete, it is getting colder wherever I am.

"I can't wait until this thing gets out of us. There's barely enough room in here for two of us, never mind three."

"And how do you suggest that one, Miss Know It All?"

"Actually, it's Mrs. Know It All. I'm married."

"Well, bully for you then! The question still stands!"

If I could see her, I'd bet she'd be smiling right now. "You know as well as I do. Just don't think about it. It might… react. And we don't want that."

"Can you please stop talking in riddles?"

"If you think about how this is supposed to end, then it will know, and it might try to stop it. Duh! Oh, bullocks, I just said Duh. I've been inside you too long."

"Well, I didn't know there was an English woman inside me, so I guess we're even."

"Ah, so you admit I exist."

"Well, it's either that or I'm insane… which is a distinct possibility."

"Lily, listen to me. Someday your life will depends on it. You are most definitely insane."

"Thanks, Doctor."

"You're very welcome. Oh, look at that…"

I focus on that projection of the outside world. The sounds are tinny, the actions a little grainy, but the flight attendant is definitely grabbing ahold of Sky.

"Before we say good-bye, I have one favor to ask of you," the voice says. She sounds almost sad, wistful. "When the time comes, please do not be too hard on him. And let him know that I agree with his decision. I was angry at first, but now… well, now I am still with him in some way, so I do thank the stars for that."

I gasp.

Just as I make the connection, just as everything makes sense, I'm falling. It's like that moment when you're just falling asleep in bed and you dream you've tripped, so you wake up, gasping, feels as if you did just fall.

I blink against the harsh, bright light of the shuttle until my eyes adjust.

"It's gone," I hear beside me.

I'm staring into the carpet, digging my fingers in. I feel as if I've just woken up from a dream. Whatever just happened when the creature had me is gone now, fading slowly, no matter how hard I try to grasp at it.

"It's gone, it's gone, it's gone.."

I over at the Doctor, who's laying flat on his back. I crawl over to him, kneeling above him. We lock eyes for a moment. Then, wordlessly, he takes my hand in his.

I know I should be freaking out, just like he is. I know I should be trembling. But something tells me I was never quite in danger… because it was always going to end like this, even if I thought I wouldn't.

Though… I don't know why I invited it into myself. Why would I do that?

I stiffen as an echo of laughter bumps around my head.

I gasp, covering my mouth with one hand. What was that?

The Doctor uses his other hand, the one not clinging to me, to pull himself up using the side of a chair. He sits against it, then tugs me close to him. I think he's mistaking my current terror for the creature… He smushes me against his chest. He's still trembling, his hearts are racing, and his voice is shaking as he against starts whispering, "It's gone," but this time, he's trying to comfort me. He buries his nose into my hair, whispering against my head. I slide my head against his so that I can look into his eyes. His are haunted and relieved all at the same time.

"I said it was her," Val says, unexpectedly.

I break eye contact with the Doctor so that we can both glare at her.

* * *

><p><strong>15 Minutes Later…<strong>

"Why did you do it?" the Doctor asks.

I'm sitting in his arms, because he still refuses to let me go. I stay to give him comfort, even if it's just going to break my heart later.

"I honestly don't know," I whisper. I stare at the carpet, refusing to look at him. "I don't think it was me. I think… I think whatever it is that's inside me made me do it… I remember talking to it… The other soul, not the creature… but I don't really remember what we talked about. It's… like a dream." I roll my head up so that I can look at him. "I think it made me invite the creature in so that she could talk to me."

"She?"

"She said she was Mrs. Know It All, because she's married."

"Come again?"

I shake my head and bury my forehead into his shoulder. "I really don't want to think about it right now."

So he remains silent, thank god. He just gives me a little squeeze and a kiss on the top of my head. I know it should calm me. But it doesn't.

Because all I hear in my head is laughter.


	42. 16: Turn Left Interlude

**So, I almost forgot a Very Important Thing to put in this chapter, but luckily, I remembered it. So it basically doubled the length of this chapter. You're welcome. And, also, check out my blog, because I have a picture of what I think Lily looks like. sarbrookDOTblogspotDOTcom  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.16.<strong>

**Turn Left**

**Interlude**

"Shan Shen!" the Doctor exclaims, stepping out of the Tardis. Donna follows him, with me just behind her.

I step onto the stone walkway. The first thing that hits me, well, that hit me even before I left the Tardis, is the music. Definitely Asian of some sort… lots of whistles and bells and all that. The next is the smell. I wouldn't call it pleasant, but it's not exactly terrible. Spices, smoke, sizzling meats. Maybe if I liked Asian food, the scents wouldn't so off putting for me. Trust me, I've tried to like Asian food. I even went to Japan in college… yeah; let's just say that I lost weight there. It's like how some people don't like Mexican or Indian or, I dunno, German food. Just not part of my pallet.

Anyway, this planet is already off on a bad foot for me. So when we enter the market place… well, I'm none to happy. Have I mentioned that I don't like crowds?

The Doctor spots me trudging behind them as he and Donna weave from vendor to vendor. He stops mid-conversation with a vendor of some sort of fabric—cloaks, maybe? —then flashes me a brilliant smile. He excuses himself, then, hands in his pockets, eyes locked on mine, he threads past the short, Chinese-like people. He stops in front of me, holding out his hand.

"Come on then!" he exclaims. Someone is in a happy mood lately.

Smiling because I can't help it, I let him take my hand, let him lead me as he pokes his head around different stalls, explaining a mile a minute what everything is, as if I can follow along or even hear him over the din of the crowd. Donna follows behind, her hands clamped behind her back, a grin fighting for dominance on her face.

"What?" I finally say about five minutes later. The Doctor is in conversation with a drink vendor. He's leaning over the stall, hand still clasped in mine, arm stretched back so far, I'm surprised he's not popping out of the socket.

"Seems you two've made up," she says. She whispers in my ear, "Have you kissed yet?"

I punch her arm.

"Oi!" she protests, rubbing the spot I punched her.

"Well, you deserved it," I stick my nose in the air. "Mind your own business."

"Well, I can't, can I?" she says. "I'm the one who made you two make up. I need to protect my investment."

"What investment? What was there to invest?"

"I've invested time and emotion into you two."

"Stop saying 'you two.' There is no 'you two.' There is him and there is me and there is you so, really, it's us three."

"Oh, I am not going to be a part of that threesome, thank you very much!"

My jaw drops but before I can think of a retort (which, by the way, I can't), the Doctor interrupts us by handing Donna something frothy in brown oval coconut-like thing. A second later, he hands me the same thing, then turns to both of us with one of his own. I sniff at mine. Smells like… custard, nutmeg, mango, and… dirty socks.

"You are going to love this," he grins, holding up his drink. "One, two, three!"

Well, when in Rome. Or, I guess, when in Shan Shen.

I take a sip of the weird drink. Despite the dirty socks smell, it takes like a fruity, custardy eggnog, with a bitter almost coffee-like aftertaste.

"Ah!" the Doctor says, licking at his foamy mustache.

"Lovely!" Donna adds, laughing.

My eyes seem to be glued to the Doctor's tongue tracing their way around his lips. I know it's not supposed to be sexual but… dang…

He winks at me.

Ah, crap, he caught me staring.

I clear my throat and take another gulp of the drink. Oh, what I would give for some Irish cream right now… Or maybe a whole bottle of tequila…

"What do you think?" he asks, leading us around the vendors again. Is it just me or was his voice a little deep there? And why is he caressing my thumb with his own? AND, come to think of it, why am I still holding his hand?

I shrug a shoulder, daintily trying to take my hand back, but his grip tightens. "It's different." I frown at our clasped hands.

His hand squeezes mine. "But do you like it?"

Oh yes. But I don't think he's talking about _that_.

I take another sip, trying to act as nonchalant as I possibly can. "It's all right. The fruitiness is a bit…meh."

"Meh?" he imitates, shrugging his shoulders.

I grin, knocking into his arm. "Are you going to tease me all day or are we going to walk around?"

He takes a second to answer that. I see his eyes dance and sparkle, as if he wants me keep teasing me. He takes a drink, watching me over the foam. His eyes hold mine as he slowly, excruciatingly slowly, licks his upper lip.

I'd just like to take this moment to remind everyone in our audience that I have had sex once since I've been in this universe. I've been here for, what, almost four years now or something? Funny how time gets away from you in a time machine… Anyway, so if I'm acting sexually deprived… well, dammit, I am sexually deprived! Maybe I should ask the Doctor to drop me off with Captain Jack or something…

"I really hate you right now," I whisper, voice hoarse.

"What?"

I'm ready to throw my drink in his face, but then… then I see it. He's not teasing me, not like that. He's actually and genuinely confused as to why I'm annoyed. How can someone be so… asexual… that they don't know when they're teasing someone like that? In his mind, he's just drinking something and removing the foam.

For someone who's like 900 years old, he's pretty damn innocent.

"Never mind," I say. I will not let him get to me. I will not let him get to me. "So what is this drink, anyway?"

"Lymashenshi," the Doctor says in his informative voice. He starts to swing our hands back and forth between us. Donna is walking ahead of us. I catch that head of red hair not too far from us, looking at some sort of weird fruit with spikes. "It's a blend of sheep milk, spices, and three different fruits. Well, one of them isn't a fruit so much as a fungus. That's why it tastes like custard." He frowns into his drink. "I don't really care much for custard, but it's all right in this, I suppose."

…

The Doctor should be covered in bits of brain. Because my head just exploded when he said that.

I drop my drink.

I bend over.

And I start to laugh. Uncontrollably. My free hand is covering my already aching abs. I can barely breathe. Every time I try to draw in a breath, I think about what he just said, and I start laughing all over again.

"What did I say?" the Doctor sounds panicked.

It takes me a couple minutes of deep breathing and all my control to keep the laughter inside. "Doctor," I say, wiping a tear from my face, still giggling. "Please remember what you just said."

"What?"

"No, seriously," I chuckle, gasping to control myself. "Someday, far in your future, you will look upon this day and realize why I'm laughing right now."

Seventeen minutes later, when I've finally managed to control myself, we're walking around again. I will remember what he just said. I will remember it. Next time I see 11, I am SO going to bust him! All those times I've joked with him about fish fingers and custard…

We pass a stall advertising haircuts. I run a hand through my own hair, frowning at the split ends. I don't really want to cut it, but the ends are nasty. And who knows when I will get this chance again? Maybe some blonde highlights, too? Nah, I don't have the skin tone for blonde. Just because the Doctor likes blondes… Anyway, yeah, a haircut it is!

"Doctor," I say, tugging on his hand to draw his attention away from someone selling what appear to be purple bananas. "Could I borrow some money for a haircut?" I jerk my thumb over my shoulder to show him the sign.

"I don't see why not," he says, running a hand through his own hair. "I suppose I could do with a trim as well."

We enter the building, hands still swinging, grins on our faces.

* * *

><p>I exit the building, arms crossed, almost crying.<p>

"They butchered me!" I whine, running my hand through what should have been long, straight locks. What I meet instead…

"It's not that bad," the Doctor says, jogging behind me.

I spin, pinning him with my meanest glare. "It's horrible. I look like a dude! A dude with boobs!"

"I like it, Lily," he steps forward, running this fingers through the short, short, SHORT locks. "It emphasizes your cheek bones and it makes your eyes look bigger."

"Great, so I look like a short haired freak with bug eyes!"

"No, I didn't say that!" he grabs my arm as I turn away. "You look lovely. It's not a male cut. It's a… what do they call it?"

"Pixie cut," I grumble, sniffing.

"It's nice," he says. Bah! He's just trying to cheer me up! "My gr… I mean, I had… there was a companion once… you remind me…" Watching him struggle with his words almost makes me smile. Almost. The frown is gone at least. "I like it, Lily. It suits you."

"Who do I remind you of?" I ask, because I can't help it.

He hesitates a moment and I think he's not going to answer. But… then he does. "Her name was Susan. She was… well, no, you're hair is shorter, but I do like it."

Susan… great, I remind him of his granddaughter! Or whatever she really was!

"Ok, I'll let you keep changing the subject, but I do have one question… how come your hair looks exactly the same? Did you even get it cut?"

He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. "What? Yeah, I… well, it was just a little trim! I didn't want them to take too much off, else I would have…" at my glare, he trails off. "Oh, come off it, Lily. You look lovely. It suits you!"

"Isn't there, like, a hair growing serum or something that I can take? Do they have that in the future?"

"Yeah, but… Well, you'll end up looking like Chewbacca."

It's a sad day when I seriously consider that.

* * *

><p>"Why are you buying clothing?" the Doctor asks as I leave a vendor with a bag of clothes. "You do know that the Tardis has everything…"<p>

"Yeah, but I wanted them and they're making me feel better about my hair."

"Good enough for me!"

* * *

><p>"What are you buying now?" the Doctor whines.<p>

"Look!" I skip to him, grinning, holding up the five pack of syringes. "This will come in handy! It's an adrenaline shot! Well, there are a few other things, too, in case of, like, being drugged or something, but…" My mind wanders away. Something about this is making… too much sense… and yet, no sense at all…

Something else catches my eye.

One of the vendors is selling masks.

My wrist is starting to burn.

Quickly, I grab the bag of clothing from the Doctor, sifting through it for a white shirt. I know now why I just had to buy it, despite me telling myself I would never wear white button up shirts again. Actually, I bought this one with the Doctor in mind, fully planning on giving it to him and teasing him for always wearing the same thing, but… Anyway, I also pull out a black leather jacket that I just HAD to buy. I shrug it on, loving the feel of the smooth, buttery leather and the musky scent.

I throw the bag back at the Doctor, causing some bright colored shirts and skirts to fall out. I slip the pack of syringes into my jacket pocket, then make a run for the masks.

I grab the closest one, the one I touch first. It's made of brilliant emerald, sapphire, and amethyst feathers. And, as the burning engulfs me, I know that I've seen this mask before.

I land in a hospital during an earthquake.

Only… it's not an earthquake. It's a building being brought to the moon.

I barely even look at the person strapped into the hospital bed. I immediately start throwing clothing at her. "You're in the psych ward in the Royal Hope Hospital." I start undoing the restraints. Past Me stares at the mask. I don't know how I know what to say. It just… comes to me, I guess. The building lurches, causing me to stumble and throw my arms wide to steady. "Judoon platoon upon the moon." I finish undoing the restraint and run to the other side. "He's on the fifth floor."

"Who is?" Past Me asks, sounding more than a little out of it.

I snort as I finish the last restraint. "Who indeed."

Our eyes lock. Weird. Wow, I really did lose weight! Huzzah!

"Uhh…" Past Me says. Her head lolls to the side.

"Oh right," I pull a needle from the packet in my black leather jacket and uncap it. "Sorry." I jam the needle into Past Me's arm..

"OW!" She yells. Ugh, am I really that nasally? "What the hell was that?"

"Adrenaline and some other things. You'll need it. It'll get rid of the drugs in your system. Now get up," I pull her out of bed, catching her as she stumbles. I rip the hospital gown off of Past Me and shove a pair of clean panties at her.

"Hey!" she screams. The building gives a final slam, causing us to topple onto the bed. I brace myself over Past Me. The mask falls to my chin.

We stare at each other. Weird. It's almost like looking in a mirror.

"Get dressed," I commands, throwing a bra at her and pushing the mask back up. "There isn't much time." I force Past Me's legs into a pair of brown pants that were (luckily) folded on the chair next to the bed.

"Who the hell are you?" She exclaims as I zip up the pants.

I roll my eyes. "Stop being an idiot." I pull the mask off and stare at Past Me with my hands on my hips.

Past Me tugs on a black tank top. I push the hair out of Past Me's face. Man, I already miss my long locks. I don't care what the Doctor says, it looks better long. And, as I look over Past Me, I note, happily, that I've lost all that baby fat I used to have. I've become nice and lean and muscly! This is awesome! But, man, do I look innocent here… I mean, I've been in this universe like, what, a day or two here? Maybe a little more?

I want to warn myself… but I can't. It could ruin everything. So, like everything else in my life nowadays, I keep my mouth shut.

"What did you do to my hair?" Past Me exclaims.

"I've always wanted a pixie cut," I explain, pushing her (me?) onto the bed so that I can shove her (my?) foot into a boot. Past Me fastens the holster around her hips. …Wait, it really makes no sense that I got to keep the gun, didn't it? Not that it matters. I never really use that one. "But, yeah, I didn't do this on purpose."

"Uh-oh! You're not supposed to tell me anything or else you create a paradox!" Past Me teases.

I punch her in the arm. "I remember me telling you this. Or, wait, I remember me telling me. Ugh, you know what I mean!"

"Don't you mean, 'I know what I mean?"

I glare at her and offer her a rubber band for her hair. It's not like I'll need it. "He's on the fifth floor patients lounge balcony. Get moving."

She slings her hair into a quick lazy bun (show off!) and pulls a white button up shirt over the tank top. As she backs out of the room, doing the buttons of the shirt, I start pressing some buttons on the vortex manipulator. It really, really makes no sense for the clothes and gun and stuff to be here…

"Oh, so I learn how to use this thing?" Past Me asks, holding up her wrist.

I nod. "Yeah, kinda. Oh, and, hey, uh, me…" We stare at each other for another moment. "Take the stairs. You'll thank me for it later."

"Is the elevator broken?" She rolls up her left sleeve.

"More like I need the exercise. We never stop running."

She glances up from rolling her right sleeve. "From what?"

I smile. "The right question is, 'With who?'"

And, just as if I planned it, I am off.

I now land in a closet. Oh, ok, sure… awesome, a closet… that helps.

Oh, wait! I spot a box with my name on it. Grinning, I pull the box down a shelf right at eye level with me. Sure enough, there are the pants, the underwear, the tank top, the bra… even the gun and holster! Well, that was convenient!

A second later, I land back in the hospital room, where Past Me is asleep, retrained to the bed. I dump everything out of the box and onto the chair, then shove the box under the hospital bed.

Then I collapse, landing in the Doctor's arms. Ooo! Spinney, shiny, Doctor!

"Lily!" he cries out.

"Ok, that was a little too much," I tell the Doctor's three heads. "Three times in under five minutes really sucks! Especially when that hasn't happened for, oh, a while now."

"Three times! Lily, you're going to kill yourself one of these days!"

I glare at him. "Well, it's not like I wanted to!"

"But it looked like you knew…"

I nod and, thankfully, the world doesn't spin. I dig in my pocket for that packet of syringes. Maybe it'll make me feel better… "I knew once I saw these," I hold up a syringe. "And then those masks. I knew I was gonna go back for a little bit. I saw myself, a long time ago, when I first came here. Remember the hospital? The Judoon platoon upon the moon? That's when I first saw a future version of myself. Now, be a dear, and stick me with this, will you?"

He takes the medicine from my hand, but he tosses it away. He pulls out his sonic and starts scanning me. Oddly, I feel better. "This'll stabilize you," he says, tucking the sonic back in his pocket. He helps me to my feet. "But we have to get that thing off you."

I look down at the vortex manipulator. "I never thought I'd say this, but I can't. I don't think it's done with me, yet."

He crushes me against his chest. Blarg! Ok, didn't know we were hugging again!

"What's wrong?" I ask. "How long was I gone?"

"Not long. Barely even a minute. I was just… worried."

"Why? I always come back, don't I?"

He gently pulls away from me. "Yes, but, sometimes not for months or even years on end. I just… I would have missed you."

Grinning, I pinch his cheek. "Aww! That's the closest you've ever come to saying you like me!"

His eyes grow dark. "Lily, I most definitely like you."

For some reason, the way he says that… it makes my heart jump. We stand there together, pressed against each other, staring into each other's eyes…

And then he takes a step back, clearing his throat.

"We should try to find Donna," the Doctor says. "I think I saw her enter that fortune teller's tent. Maybe she's still there."

BAM!

That clears my mind. Now I know why I don't really like this place, despite the awesome shopping.

I let him drag me. I pretend to still be a little woozy, when, honestly, I remember where I am. I remember what's about to happen. I remember what Donna just went through…

We enter the tent. I pull my hand away so that he can step through the fringe-y curtain.

"Everything all right?" the Doctor asks, apparently happy again.

Donna, gasping, rushes to him and pulls him in for a big hug. "Oh God!" she says.

The Doctor laughs. "What was that for?"

Now she's laughing. "I don't know!" She turns to me and hugs me now. I try to shed the serious face I know I have, but I find that I kinda can't. I do return her hug, though. …Who knows when I will get another hug from Donna? This could be my last.

The thought makes me want to cry.

"Wait, what happened to your hair?" Donna asks. Her face looks completely utterly mortified. My eyes start to water again.

The Doctor clears his throat.

"I mean," Donna says, pasting a fake smile on her face. "It looks… lovely!"

I roll my eyes and stomp away. I will murder that so-called hair dresser, if it's the last thing I do!

I stay back as Donna explains what happened. Explains about the dream and… everything…

Not that she needs to tell me this. I know what happened. The Doctor died. The world basically ended. And… Rose came back. Of course that's the first thing I get mad about! Not the Doctor dying! No, I get jealous of Rose!

Seriously, what is wrong with me?

"I can't remember," she says, sitting where I think the Fortune Teller must have sat, the Doctor where she probably did. I'm standing a good few yards away from them. "It's slipping away. You know like when you try and think of a dream and it just sort of... goes."

The Doctor pokes the giant beetle on a box in between them with a stick. "It just got lucky, this thing. It's one of the Trickster's Brigade. Changes a life in tiny little ways. Most times, the universe just compensates around it, but with you... Great big parallel world!"

"Hold on, you said parallel worlds are sealed off."

"They are. But you had one created around you. Funny thing is, it seems to be happening a lot. To you."

"How do you mean?"

"Well," he stresses, in that signature 10th Doctor way. "The Library and then this…"

"Just... goes with the job. I suppose." But she doesn't sound convinced.

"Sometimes I think there's way too much coincidence around you, Donna. I met you once. I met your grandfather. Then I met you again. In the whole wide universe, I met you for a second time." His eyes flash up to me. I just fold my arms and return his look as coolly as possible. "It's like something's binding us together."

"Don't be so daft. I'm nothing special."

The Doctor grins at Donna, breaking eye contact with me to tell Donna, sounding very fond, "Yes, you are, you're brilliant."

"She said that."

I drop my arms and take a step towards her, watching her.

"Who did?" the Doctor asks, still poking that damned beetle with a stick.

"That woman… I can't remember."

"Well, she never existed now," the Doctor says.

I shake my head, kneeling beside Donna, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"No, but she said... the stars... she said the stars are going out."

"Yeah, but that world's gone."

I shake my head again, but he's not looking at me. Donna is, though. She's grasping my upper arms. "No, but she said it was all worlds. Every world… She said the darkness is coming, even here."

I nod. "I know."

"_You_ know…" the Doctor drifts off. "Who was she?"

I turn to the Doctor, biting my lower lip.

"I don't know," Donna says.

"What did she look like?" the Doctor asks.

"She was… blonde…"

The Doctor leans forward. I keep watching him. His eyes meet mine. "Lily, do you know…?"

"Donna need to give you the message," I whisper. I gently squeeze Donna's shoulder. "Donna… tell him what she said…"

"I don't remember."

"What message?" the Doctor is getting anxious, annoyed even.

"Donna… yes you do… two words…"

"Lily, what is going on?" he exclaims.

Donna's eyes light up, remembering. "She told me... to warn you, Doctor. She said... two words."

He goes quiet now, voice hollow. "What two words? What were they? What did she say?"

"Bad Wolf."

The Doctor jumps up, shaking.

Donna's voice shakes. "Well, what does it mean?" But the Doctor is already running out of the tent. I jump up to follow, pulling Donna with me. "Do you know what that means, Lily?"

"Yeah," I say, trying to follow the Doctor. My heart starts pounding as I look around us. All the signage says Bad Wolf. All of it. Everything. Even the wording on the Tardis, which we're almost at. "It's… not really for me to explain. It's really, really bad, though. Think of the big, bad wolf and multiply it by like a bazillion!"

"What?"

But we're at the Tardis now, behind the Doctor as he rushes in.

The Tardis is red. The cloister bells are ringing. I drop Donna's hand, running up to the console, past the Doctor, who's just staring at nothing. I press my hand to the time rotor. The familiar happy buzzing that normally greets me has turned into an electric shock, almost biting in its cry. The Tardis is not happy. The Tardis is very, very worried about what's about to happen. Even as she knows what's going to happen, she still doesn't want her Thief to go through that.

And I don't blame her.

"Doctor," Donna says. "Doctor, what is it? What's Bad Wolf?"

I turn to him, frowning, worried, my hand still on the time rotor, trying to calm the poor Tardis.

He watches me in disbelief, breathing heavy. "It's the end of the Universe."


	43. 17: A Good Man Goes to Journey's End 1

**Busy, busy, little bee. Sorry for the delay, but I needed that break. I hope to get back to my 2-4 updates a week schedule. I got a lot of original (as in not fanfic) stories bopping around my head and I wanna get working on those, but I have a commitment to you all and, most importantly, to myself, so I'm going to keep those on the back burner a bit to get this one updated and, per my goal, finished. I have like 16 more episodes planned, so trust me when I say this isn't finished anytime soon. I may cut that down a bit to trim away the unneeded, but we'll see.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.17.<strong>

**A Good Man Goes To Journey's End**

**Part One**

"It's fine… everything's fine."

The Doctor, Donna, and I are standing in a small park in a nice English neighborhood. The street is calm; only a milk truck is on the road. A milk truck? They still have those here?

"Nothing's wrong, it's all fine!" the Doctor repeats, gazing around us in disbelief. He notices the milkman. "Excuse me? What day is it?"

The Milkman barely glances at us. "Saturday."

"Saturday! Good!" the Doctor is still staring into the distance. "Good, I like Saturdays."

We're silent a moment, all of us preoccupied. I'm trying not to think about what's to come.

Then, Donna says, "So... I just met Rose Tyler?"

"Yeah…" the Doctor answers, though uneasy.

"But she's locked away in a parallel world."

"Exactly," the Doctor says. "If she can cross from her parallel world to your parallel world, then that means the walls of the universe are breaking down, which puts everything in danger." My stomach jumps and I gasp a little. Wait a second… "Everything. But how?" He spins, running back into the Tardis. Donna and I follow. I cast a look at the quiet neighborhood before shutting the Tardis door.

"Doctor," I say, hesitant. I'm about to ask a question that probably will not go over very well.

I follow him to the console, where he is pushing levers, setting coordinates, engrossed in the task.

"Yes?" he asks, though I have a feeling he's not really listening.

"If the walls of the universe are breaking down," I choose my words carefully, slowly. "Then… does that mean we can find a way to send me home?"

He stops, just about to release the hand break. "What do you mean?" He doesn't look at me.

I bite my lip, glancing at Donna, who's just watching us. "If Rose is here… then that means I might be able to get home. To my world."

He finally looks at me, eyes wide with shock. The thought obviously hadn't occurred to him. He's so preoccupied with the thought of Rose, with the universe breaking down in general, that he didn't have time to think about what this can mean for me.

That maybe, when this whole thing is over, when Rose is back in her alternate universe with Handy Doctor, maybe I can go home.

"Wh…"

But the word will never be finished. At least for my ears.

The Tardis lurches. The Doctor falls to his knees, gripping the console. I stumble back, catching myself on a rail. The Tardis hums though my body, checking to make sure I'm ok. I pat the rail absently, giving her a small smile to show I'm ok. For now.

"What the hell was that?" Donna cries.

The Doctor jumps back to his feet, running. "It came from outside!" He throws the doors open.

Donna nearly bumps into him, because he stops so suddenly. I take a few steps towards the console, left hand stroking the Tardis, who's buzzing in displeasure. For something the exists in all of space and time, she's really hooked onto this moment right now.

Outside the doors… is space. Space and floating rocks. No earth or other planet as far as the eye can see.

"We're in space... how did that happen?" Donna's bemused tone changes into fear. "What did you do?"

"We haven't moved," I say, even as the Doctor is running back to the console. "We're in the same exact place as before." I hope that tinge of fear I hear in my voice isn't as apparent to my friends. "It just… moved."

"It can't have," The Doctor reads the monitor. "We're fixed," he agrees. "How did you know that?"

A corner of my mouth quirks up. "Spoilers," I sing-song, though my heart isn't in it.

"What do you mean, 'It just moved?'" Donna asks, voice raising in anger and deepening in fear.

The Doctor rushes back to the doors, sticking his head out a bit to get a better look. "The TARDIS is still in the same place, but the Earth is gone. The entire planet... it's gone!"

That's when I realize that the buzzing in my arm, it's not the Tardis. It's not her emotions.

It's the vortex manipulator.

"No!" I growl, smashing some buttons. "Not right now! This is not a good time! I can help them!"

"Lily?" the Doctor runs away from the door.

I can feel my body dematerialize as the Doctor reaches for me, panic and worry in his big brown eyes. The last thing I see is his hand just missing my arm.

* * *

><p>I cough as I land, bent over but otherwise on my feet. That was the slowest I've ever been pulled into time. My body feels all static-y because of it. I bet my hair is… oh, wait, I have a guy's cut now. Never mind.<p>

"Ah, good, it worked."

I whip my head up. Blah, that was a bad idea. The world spins and I stumble a bit. A pair of hands grab me, righting me. I blink a couple times before my vision clears. The person helping me has floppy brown hair, a strong chin, and, as I finally focus perfectly, a red bow tie.

"Hello, Lily!" the Doctor, the 11th Doctor, smiles wide into my face. "I knew that would work!" He releases me and starts running around the console.

My mouth opens and closes a few times. "Knew what would work?"

"I brought you here!" he says, punching in coordinates. "You see, I need a bit of a favor from all my friends, the only problem was, I didn't know where you were, so I had to summon you."

"Summon me?"

"Yes. Well, no, not summon. Summon's a bad way to describe it." He checks the monitor. "It's more like I plucked you out of time and brought you here. Like you're a petal." He spins away from the monitor, grinning like an idiot. "No, wait, not a petal. It's hard to describe, very timey wimey."

I cross my arms. "You tracked the time signature of my vortex manipulator and attached onto it, inputting your coordinates so that I would arrive here."

He stops running around and the grin fades from his face. Instead, he's shocked. "That's brilliant. How did you know that?"

I blink a couple times. "I don't know."

Putting on his concerned face, he pulls the sonic screwdriver out of his coat pocket as he strides toward me. "It's not something you learned on the telly is it?

"No…" I drawl, confused, batting away the sonic. The green light hurts my eyes. "I don't know. Maybe. Why?"

He regards the sonic for a moment. "It's just surprising that you could figure it out so easily."

"What, I can't be clever?"

"No," he says, frowning. Then, as if realizes what he said, he jumps, backtracking. "I mean, yes you can be clever. Just when you figure something out that's timey wimey, usually you show symptoms of… half a moment, what's the password?"

I rack my brain. "Something."

"Something?" he scoffs. "Don't you remember?"

"No, that's the… ugh!" I toss my arms in the air. "How about this? Before you rudely interrupted us, we were just finding out that the earth disappeared. You know, Daleks, Rose Tyler, your Duplicate, just before the Doctor Donna. Ring a bell?"

His eyes widen again. "Oh," he says. "So _that's_ where you kept going off to."

"What?"

"Well, as best as I can figure, I need you here, but the universe needs you there, so we both sort of… share you. Oh, that really puts a damper on my plans…"

"Plans?" This is going way too fast for me to even begin to follow.

His eyes suddenly go dark, almost menacing. "We have to save Amy."

"Save Amy from what?" I really don't like where this is going…

He laughs a little. "What do you know about the Order of the Headless?"

It snaps right into my brain. "The Headless Monks?" I ask. Off his nod, I gasp. "The Battle of Demon's Run." I take a step back.

"Oh, is that what it will be called? I suppose it makes sense. Never been one for a battle, me, but when someone kidnaps people I care for… Well, I suppose a battle is what you get when you go against Clerics."

Meaning soldiers.

I think for a moment. He's collecting people who owe him favors. Do I owe him a favor? No, wait, River didn't owe him a favor, he just asked her for help. But she didn't come until the end, for obvious time travel reasons.

But on second thought, I keep muddling through my own timestream… ugh, this is confusing.

Uh, wait… Why is he looking at me like that? He looks almost bloodthirsty.

"You expect me to fight for you, Doctor?" I say, not thinking.

"Not for me," he insists, stepping closer. "For Amy."

I step back again. "No, Doctor," I shake my head. "Demons run when a good man goes to war. You can't ask this of me. I'm not a warrior. I have nothing to bring."

"You have… foreknowledge." He looks me up and down. I really don't like his expression right now. Serious. Ruthless. Oh, how I hate the Oncoming Storm. "I could use that."

I shake my head. "No. You can do it without me. I know you can."

"Lily, don't you understand? We're talking about Amy and her child."

"Oh, I understand more that you think, Doctor," I take a step towards him, poking him in the chest. "In fact, I understand more that you do right now, because it's not just Amy at stake. And, no, I'm not telling you a thing, so you can forget it. Send me back, send me forward, I don't care where you send me, just send me away from this."

"Lily…" his voice softens to just over a whisper. "Please." He takes my face between his hands. "I need all the help I can get."

I pull away from him, turn away, stomp over to the console, and grip the edge of the console. The Tardis vibrates against my hands, trying to soothe me. The buzzing travels up my arm. My head, which had been slumped, snaps up.

"There is more to this than even you can imagine, sweetie," I say. The way my words form is both alien and natural all at the same time. "You have to tread carefully." My grip on the console tightens. My hands cramp at the effort.

Buzzzz. The sonic waves over my ear. I loosen my grip with my left hand to swat him away.

"Lily," the Doctor's voice is deep and holds a bit of anger. "Is that you?"

I blink. My head turns to face him. "Of course," I say. A little too brightly.

His eyes narrow, not believing me. "Am I talking to whoever is inside Lily?"

I smile. "Of course." Verifying.

His eyes flick over my face. "Who are you?"

"Ah," I say. Is it even me? "You'll figure it out. It's not very complicated." Um… am I suddenly English? Because that sounded very English to me. Well, not the words so much as the phrasing of the words. I'm clipping consonants I've never stressed before.

"Why don't you just tell me?"

My smile grows. "Now, what's the fun in that? But while I have a go, I do have a few things to say to you, even if you won't understand a word of it. Yet." I let go of the Tardis and lean my hip against it, counting off my fingers. "I don't hate you for what you will do. It's your best option. I do hate that I was put into that other world, but… well, I'm here now, so I suppose I can let that one go. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Doctor."

"Why are you sorry?" he asks, careful.

I shake my head slowly. "I'm sorry you have to make the decision. I'm sorry for how she will react to it. I'm sorry you have to let her go for me, but you will get her back. It's the right thing to do."

"Let who go?"

I fix him with a sarcastic look. "Spoilers."

"Sp…" his eyes widen in realization.

"Ah, so you understand. Brilliant."

"You mean you're…?"

"Yes."

"But how?"

"You'll see."

He blinks a couple times, then smiles, spinning in a circle. "Ha-haa!" he laughs.

I place my hand on his cheek. "You'll see me soon, Doctor. And I'll be here until I can speak with you again."

"Wait," he says, grabbing my hand. "Are you… leaving?"

I nod. "I must. She's not strong enough yet. She will be soon, though, I think. I've had a lot of time to contemplate it and… well, if what I think happens does happen, someday… well, I'm sure you'll figure something out, Doctor. You always do."

"One last question, before you go," he grips my hand harder. I squeeze back. "How are you speaking to me now?"

I raise an eyebrow. "You'll understand soon enough. Now, I have a request. It's my birthday. Will you kiss me? You always do."

He hesitates a second, moving back and forth quickly, as if he's trembling. But then I grab his face and pull him in, kissing him. Kissing him as if my life depends on it.

Then the whole world spins, goes fuzzy, and I collapse into his arms.


	44. 17:  A Good Man Goes to Journey's End 2

**...So... yeah... I don't even know that to say. I needed that break. I forced myself to write something original, different, and non-fanfic yesterday and... well, I got inspired to continue on. No promises on my next update, because things are still crazy, but I had a night to myself for the first time in what feels like forever, and this is what I came up with. I still think that I've bitten off more than I can chew, but I made a promise to myself and, more than that, really, I made a promise to my readers. So here you go...  
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><p><strong>.17.<strong>

**A Good Man Goes To Journey's End**

**Part Two**

I'm doodling on a note pad in a cafe in New York. The cafe is empty, though the giant fireplace roars with fire. Most of the walls are windows. The counter is made of glass and the dessert tray is empty. The trees outside are losing their bright leaves. It's warm in here. It's a monsoon outside.

A bell jingles as the door opens. I look up from my vanilla latte and the pad of paper I'm writing on. A familiar crooked smile greets me. He's wearing a blue pin-stripe suit and his hair is sticky-upy, just like the last time I saw him. The wooden chair scrapes across the floor like fingers on a chalkboard as he pulls it out.

"Hello, my love," he says, sitting in front of me.

"Oh," I take a sip of my latte. "I forgot about you."

"Again?" He drops a cube of sugar into the hot cup of tea that appears in a puff of smoke in front of him. "This is getting to be a bad habit. Do you want to come home, love?"

I reach over the table and run my fingers through his hair. I blink. In a flash, a man with striking blonde hair is standing behind him, consuming bright light. The light disappears and I recognize Kyle from the planet Twilight. His lips curl back in a sneer. I blink and the man is gone. "I can't seem to find the energy to come home," I say.

"There's plenty of energy where I am." He adds a bit of milk to his tea.

I sit back and put both hands in my lap. "I want to come home, I do. But sometimes I feel like I am home."

"Home is where the hearts are." He shrugs.

Somewhere, drums are beating. 1, 2, 3, 4.

"Daniel, how long have I been gone?" We're holding hands now.

"Hasn't been a minute," he squeezes my hand. "But you need to come back before she arrives."

I lean forward. "Who?"

He looks over my shoulder. "It'll take more than a doctor to nurse the lily back to health, not when the river flows so strong." But it's not his voice.

"Ok, that was lame," I say. The background disappears. We're just in… space. Not outer space, exactly, but nowhere. It's not dark. It's not light. It just… is. "What's with the cryptic talk?"

But Daniel's gone.

"You mustn't be worried, Lily," a voice whispers across my skin. "You must learn."

"Learn what?"

A gentle tingle tugs at my head. "Once you are strong enough, you will learn. I think. Oh, there are so many possibilities. And I tried to account for them all, I did, but I just wanted you to be happy and I wanted him to be happy and I wanted her to be happy and I couldn't think of another way for you all to be happy. So I gave a little push. Please don't be cross with me, Lily. You're the perfect vessel."

I'm not sure I want to know. But I ask anyway.

"Vessel for what?"

"It's like a poem. Flowers would be dead without water; water would flood without flowers."

The space, the nothingness, is tinting red, influenced by my anger. "How about you stop speaking in riddles and tell me?"

"I cannot. You'll understand why. You're not strong enough yet. But you will be, very soon. So long as my thief doesn't keep you too long."

And with that, I wake up.

"Ok!" I shout, sitting up, pushing hand off me. "I'm tired of this crap. I want this thing out of me and I want to go home." I crawl to my feet, sticking my hands on my hips and glaring at nothing.

The Doctor pops up next to me, giant forehead furrowed. "I beg your pardon?"

"Whatever this second soul is, I want it gone. I'm tired of the weird dreams. I'm tired of voices in my head. I'm tired of blacking out. I'm tired of running around trying to fix things I shouldn't even be here to fix!" At this point, I'm shouting so loud, my throat hurts. But I don't care.

He's silent, watching me with something akin to pity floating in his eyes. I growl and stomp away, purposely knocking his shoulder.

"Ow," he whines.

I stick my nose in the air. "You deserved it." I place my hands on the console. A gentle, timid tingle snakes up my arm. I rip my hands away, instead stuffing them into the pockets.

"I very much did not!"

I bite my lower lip, staring at down through the glass floor to the bottom of the Tardis. Before I can think of something else to say, the Tardis door creaks open.

"Ahh! Rory! River!" The Doctor's voice echoes off the Tardis's walls. "Perfect timing. Everyone is here. Now we can continue on to the next part of the plan!" Without needing to glance up, I can see from the corner on my eye that the Doctor is setting coordinates into the console.

"Uh, Doctor," Rory says, sounding a bit confused. "River isn't coming."

Not looking at either of them, I shuffle over to the jump seat and collapse onto it, balancing my elbow on my knee and my chin in my hand. Aww, look at Rory being all cute and stuff in his Roman outfit. I like the cape. Men should start wearing capes again. Makes them look… manly or something.

"What do you mean?" the Doctor is very still now. "She isn't coming?"

Rory clears his throat. "Uh, well," he braces himself against the railing just at the opening to the console area. "Well, she said…"

"Spit it out, man!" The Doctor's head is bowed and he's very, very stiff.

Rory glances as me then back at the Doctor. He clears his throat. "She said… she couldn't come. Not yet."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" The Oncoming Storm growls. "I go to her when she calls. The one time, the ONE TIME, I ask her, she says no?"

I roll my eyes. I'm so not in the mood to put up with this crap. "Oh, get off it," I say, swinging myself back to my feet. "She'll be there. You'll just have to adjust your plans again, because she won't be there when you want her to."

"And why not?" The Oncoming Storm fixes me with dark, dangerous eyes.

I raise my chin. "Because she will be there when she has to be, not when you want her to. But, I wouldn't worry too much. Nothing will go exactly as you plan anyway."

I don't know why I'm in the mood to poke his anger, but he made me angry too, so he might as well deal with it.

He glares at me. "Perhaps I should have taken the time to find you at a better point in your time stream."

I stick my tongue out at him. "Perhaps you should have."

Rory, if possible, looks even more uncomfortable. "Should I?… I think… Uh, I'll be…" He starts to walk away.

The Doctor retracts his glare. "Rory, stay." His muscles loosen and he starts setting coordinates again. "We have to fill Lily in on the plan."

I have a feeling I'm not going to like the plan.

* * *

><p>Twenty six minutes later, I know that I don't like the plan.<p>

* * *

><p>Three minutes after that, I finally break my silence. "Fine," I say. I unfold myself from the chair and cross my arms. "But I get to keep my gun. No way I'm going to be shot at with nothing to defend myself."<p>

The Doctor relaxes. "Good. We're all in agreement then?"

I raise my hand. "I would like to go on record as saying that this is not one of your brighter ideas."

His mouth quirks to the side, as if he's trying to hold back amusement. "Noted."

"And!" I say, stepping forward as he turns away. He spins back to me. "You do know this is totally going to backfire in your face, right?"

This time he does grin. "In that case, I'll just do what I do best."

I snort. "Make sparks with your sonic screwdriver?"

He straightens his tie, ignoring my remark with a cheeky grin. "I'll plan on the go."

I just roll my eyes. Otherwise, I'll fall to my knees, begging him to not force me to do this. "And you do also know that there is no guarantee that I will be there the entire time. Not if this _thing_," here I wave my vortex manipulator arm in the air, "has other plans."

"Your task is simple."

"Well, lets hope I'm actually here for it."

The Doctor's grin stretches into a full on smile. "Well, I have a plan for that too."

I smile, mocking him. "Well, I hope you put that plan into effect very quickly."

The smile falls. "Why?"

I hold up my arm again. "Because I'm about to…"

The world fuzzes away.

"Leave…" I say to the Doctor. The 10th Doctor.

Judging by the eyebrows that are currently located at his hairline, I think I just surprised him. And it's no wonder, too. Because, well, there is very little space between us. My butt is against the Tardis's control panel and my chest is just a hair away from touching the Doctor. To his right is Donna, who is staring at me.

"Leave?" he says.

I blink a couple times. "I was just talking to you in the future."

"Oh," he pauses. Then fixes me with a wide grin. "Hi again!"

"Hi," I smile. This Doctor immediately calms me down. I don't know why. Didn't it used to be the other way around? Then again, I'm still mad at 11 for what he's forcing me to do. Because I really, really, REALLY don't want to do it.

"Yup." I shake away the last tendrils of fog from my head. "Where are we?"

The Doctor swings me around, pointing from behind me at a screen on the console, the different console. "The entire Medusa Cascade has been put a second out of sync with the rest of the universe. Perfect hiding place, tiny little pocket of time. But we found them!"

Oh right. Back to this again. …Oh boy…

The screen starts to go all blurry.

"Oh, oh... what's that? Hold on, hold on…" The Doctor gently pushes me out of the way to fiddle with a knob. "Some sort of... subwave network."

"Can someone fill me in?" I ask. "I mean, I know generally what's going on, but…"

But before either of them can say anything before the screen suddenly splits into four images. The top left shows the Doctor, Donna, and myself (peaking over the Doctor's shoulder). Below that are an older woman and a young man… Sarah Jane! And…that boy… who's name I can't remember. Next to them, Martha and her mother (Oh, hi, guilt, where have you been?), and above them…

Captain Jack smiles in relief, causing my loins to quiver a bit, then snaps, "Where the hell have you been? Doctor, it's the Daleks!"

At this point, everyone starts talking at the same time about the Daleks. The Doctor just grins, loving this. "Sarah Jane! Who's that boy? That must be Torchwood. Aren't they brilliant?" His smile widens. "Look at you all, you clever people!"

Donna points at the screen. "And who's…" her finger lands on Captain Jack's screen. "He?"

I giggle. The Doctor shoots me a serious look.

"Captain Jack. Don't!" he shakes a finger at her, then, double thinking, he points at me. "Just… don't."

I stick my tongue out at him. "Spoilsport."

He turns back to the screen. I know who he's searching for.

Donna's amazed. "It's like... an outer-space Facebook!"

Quietly, to himself, probably not wanting anyone else to hear, the Doctor says, "Everyone except Rose…"

Should I tell him that she's watching…? Nah, he'll find her soon enough.

Oh, god… Rose… No matter where I go right now, I have to deal with Rose or River. Will I never be the only one? GAH! Where did that thought come from? I mean, yeah, the man makes me all wobbly inside and yes, ok, I know I've admitted this L-Word thing before. But I don't like to think of the L-Word. It's a very strong word. There has to be another word I can use… ah ha! To quote Scott Pilgrim, I'm in Lesbians with him.

Jealousy does not suit me. It totally kills me creativity.

The screen suddenly cuts off into snow. I didn't know that technology was still around… oh, wait, this is basically present time, barely in my past. I'm sure snow/white noise is still around.

"Ahh…" the Doctor growls. He starts twisting a knob again.

Donna shakes her head. "We've lost them!"

"No, no, no, no, no! There's another signal coming through, there's someone else out there." He bashes the top of the monitor. "Hello? Can you hear me?" Then, the other word I didn't want to hear. "Rose."

"Your voice is different, and yet, its arrogance is unchanged."

Computerized. Vaguely-Dalek, but more understandable and a bit more inflection. The Doctor freezes as soon as he recognizes it.

Davros.

"Welcome… to my new Empire, Doctor."

Donna takes a step back as the image of Davros appears on the screen. In real life, he is much more frightening than on a TV. Well, ok, yes, he's on a screen, but the point is, the wrinkly face with black marks where his eyes should be and a blue light eyeball thing in his forehead is much, much scarier when you know that he's real.

"It is only fitting that you should bear witness to the resurrection and the triumph of Davros, Lord and Creator of the Dalek Race."

I would like to take this moment to say this: the Daleks never scared me. I mean, they're just a tin can flipped over with a whisk, a plunger, and a telescope attached to it. So not scary.

But that was on TV.

Now they are all real, they are all here, and they are all trying to kill us. I picture a human getting shot by a Dalek. Seeing the blue light engulf their body, making the skeleton radiate a brighter light, until they fall, dead.

My body immediately reacts to this revelation by freezing.

Daleks and Headless Monks. How did my life get like this?

"Have you nothing to say?"

Somewhere in the distance, I hear Donna say, "Doctor, Lily, it's all right. We're... we're in the TARDIS. We're safe."

"But you were destroyed," the Doctor's voice is pulling me out of the nightmare. "In the very first year of the Time War, at the Gates of Elysiem." My fingers, clutching the console so hard I think I may have bent metal, loosen ever so slightly. "I saw your command ship flying into the jaws of the Nightmare Child. I tried to save you…"

"But it took one stronger than you," Davros says. "Dalek Caan himself."

"I flew into the wild and fire," the high pitch, insane, almost mechanical voice sends a whole new shiver of horror down my spine. "I danced and died a thousand times!"

"Emergency temporal shift took him back into the Time War itself."

The Doctor switches from fear to disbelieving anger. "But that's impossible, the entire War is time-locked."

"And yet, he succeeded," Davros says, almost amused. "Oh, it cost him his mind, but imagine - a single, simple Dalek succeeded where Emperors and Time Lords have failed. A testament, don't you think, to my remarkable creations?"

"And you made a new race of Daleks." I can't tell if the Doctor is going for angry, scared, or disgusted.

"I gave myself to them. Quite literally." Davros starts undoing the clasps of his leather shirt. "Each one grown from a cell of my own body." He pulls the leather away, revealing a site that makes me gag. Rib bones. Emaciated skin. He looks like the Grim Reaper itself. "New Daleks. True Daleks. I have my children, Doctor. What do you have, now?"

The Doctor almost sounds as if he's going to cry… "After all this time... everything we saw, everything we lost... I have only one thing to say to you. BYE!" He shouts suddenly, pushing a lever.

I fall back as the Tardis jerks into motion. "What the hell was that?"

"We're going back to Earth!" the Doctor shouts, his mood somewhere between manic and fucking insane.

And there is little time for talking. The Tardis is taking us on a bumpy ride, and it's all I can do to not fall all over the place. At one point, I grab the console, falling to my knees. I try to pull myself up, but the force is too much. The Doctor pulls me up by the back of my shirt.

He grins down at me, and I decide he really is completely bonkers. "I'm glad you're back. Didn't fancy having all this fun without you."

I guess I'm quite popular amongst my two Doctors.

But, because it's 10, and because I'm honestly glad to be back here as well, even with the threat of being exterminated, I can't help but feel a little giddy myself. "No place I'd rather be right now."

Because it is true… considering the alternative, anyway.

"Oi!" Donna yells. "Will you two just kiss already?"

My jaw drops and my cheeks flare up. I turn my head to give her the best glare I can muster, but the Tardis chooses that moment to land. With a bang.

I lose grip and balance, falling smack into the Doctor. He falls to the ground, laughing. My face smashes into his shoulder, which hurts a bit more than I would have thought.

"Owww…" I whine. "I think you just broke my nose."

His hands cup my face as he inspects my face. "Nah, you're fine."

"But it hurrrrts."

He gives my aching nose a small peck, which kicks my heart into overdrive and sends my stomach up to my chest. "There, all better."

I blink a couple of times. My mouth opens and closes, but just a strangled sound comes out. I'm so intelligent.

The amused look fades into something more serious. "Lily," he says. "I…" He pauses. Then the serious look is replaced with a blank one and whatever moment we almost had will never come to fruition.

I roll off him, crawling back to my feet. He does the same, running a hand through his hair and sighing.

Donna, who was apparently still in the room (news to me), spins to us, annoyed. "Ok, that's it!" She stomps to us. "Before we go out there, you are going," here she grabs our hands and forces us closer, "to have a bleeding snog. And I will be at the door with my hands over my ears. You have fifteen seconds." She stomps away, already covering her ears.

The Doctor and I gape at her, then look at each other.

"I don't know what she's going on about lately," I ramble. I think you could fry some bacon on my cheeks. "She has this weird idea that you and I should be… you know, together… I mean, in a, like, romantic way… and it's…silly, really… because you're, like, the Doctor and you don't, like, do that sort of thing, not with humans, and…"

I'm cut off.

Because… he kisses me.


	45. 17:  A Good Man Goes to Journey's End 3

**I didn't expect to be ready to update so soon. But I was thinking about where this is going all day today. It's just about time for the real action to start... if everything goes as planned, anyway.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>.17.<strong>

**A Good Man Goes To Journey's End**

**Part Three**

Wow.

Maybe kissing isn't really the right way to describe it. It's kinda like the Doctor has attacked my face. Oh, I'm not complaining. I'm confused, yes, but I'm not complaining. Would you? I didn't think so.

I had maybe half a second to wonder why he was grabbing my face before his lips crashed onto mine. I say crash, because this isn't the most… how do I put this?… well, this isn't exactly the… neatest kiss I've ever had. This is all lips and hunger and maybe a bit of growling. And yet… yet, just as quickly as it started, it's over.

His hands are clutching my shoulders, my fingers are clinging to the sleeves of his jacket, and we're both gasping for breath.

"Wha…?" I say, at my intelligent best.

His wide, almost wild eyes capture my attention. "I don't know what's out there. Anything can happen. I regret never telling Rose how I felt until it was too late. I didn't want us to walk into that without you knowing…" He hesitates, chest nearly convulsing with each deep breath. I am physically incapable of saying anything. My jaw just works up and down like a fish and my eyebrows tighten together.

He pulls me close, enwrapping me in his arms, kissing the side of my forehead. "I wanted you to know…" he whispers, hesitating again. It's like he's trying to force the words out, but they get stuck somewhere inside. Somewhere, I think, near his two hearts.

My voice decides to return. "I know," I whisper back. I wrap my arms around him. "I know."

"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm so sorry. I just can't…"

I lean back so that I can look into his face. Oh, that face. "I know. And it's ok. You don't have to."

"You deserve so much more."

My fingers as quaking as I brush a lock of that amazing hair off his forehead. "Are you kidding me?" I tease, trailing my fingertips down the side of his face. "You're the Doctor. There isn't any more. It's not possible. You're more than just a good man. You're the best man. The absolute best." I force a watery smile.

His eyes are still so wide and so lost. "Lily, when this is over… we'll go somewhere. Somewhere without any running, without any bad guys. Just you and me and Donna."

No. No we won't. But it's nice to think of it.

I bite my lip. "Yeah. Sounds… fantastic."

He presses one more kiss to my forehead.

"Oh, you two are just too much," Donna calls from the door.

We take a giant step apart, though our eyes are locked. I want to do a lot of things right now. I want to throw myself back into his arms. I want to tell him that I love him. I want to tell him that everything is going to be ok, though it's really not, not in the smaller picture. I take the emotion and lock it away, stowing it for later.

Because he can't say it. And neither can I.

He holds out his hand to me. I place mine in it. Giving my hand a gentle squeeze, he leads me to the door.

Oh god. Oh, god oh godohgodohgod…

"Wait," I say, pulling my hand out of his. I run to the console, ducking my head underneath to a secret compartment. It opens for me, revealing my Alpha Meson pistol. Torn between wanting to grin and wanting to grimace, I pull it out, holster and all, strapping it around my hips.

"What are you doing?" the Doctor asks, sounding more than a little peeved.

I just strut back to where he is standing. "I'm bringing this with me." I place my hand back in his. "We might need it. There are Daleks everywhere."

He opens his mouth as if to argue. But how do you argue self defense in this case? Instead, he shakes his head and pulls me along.

I don't want to go out there. Tears are already welling up and my nose is running. I sniff and blink a thousand times. Donna's self-satisfied smirk fades when she sees my expression. I want to tell her. I do. I want to tell her what's going to happen to her. Would it be better or worse to know what's going to happen to you? I don't know.

I just know that as the Doctor opens the door, I just want to collapse and cry and throw a big, giant tantrum worthy of the fussiest toddler.

But I don't. Because there isn't a point to it. It's Donna or the universe. Such sacrifices I never thought I would have to make. But I have to. There is no other way.

Or is there…?

The Doctor opens the door.

We step out of the Tardis and into a creepy abandoned street. Cars with their doors still open are just sitting there. It's dark, adding to the deserted feel. So many things, but no one to claim them. A dog barks in the distance.

The Doctor drops my hand as we stroll forward, taking in the atmosphere.

"It's like a ghost town," Donna whispers, creeped out.

The Doctor's head cocks tot he side. "Sarah Jane said that they were taking the people. But what for?" He spins suddenly, taking a few steps behind me towards Donna. "Think, Donna. When you met Rose in that parallel world, what did she say?"

A suddenly bright light catches my eye. It blinks out and in its place is… a girl. A girl with blonde hair and a purple jacket.

"Just... the darkness is coming," Donna says behind me, but she might as well be talking through a glass wall. Her voice is muffled to me.

The girl is walking slowly forward. She's too far away from me to see her face, but I know she's about to smile. Because that's what she did on the show.

"Anything else?" the Doctor urges.

Donna doesn't say anything. I'm waiting for her to say it. I don't want to be the one to say it.

"I can't remember," Donna says.

Line! Wrong line, Donna. I look behind my shoulder, frowning. But I realize why she isn't saying it. Because I'm in her line of sight.

It has to be me to say it.

"Lily," the Doctor says suddenly, spinning around. "Do you know anything that can help us right now?"

He doesn't see her. Because I'm in his way.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Why don't you ask Rose yourself, Doctor?" I open my eyes. Don't cry. Don't cry.

His eyebrows come together in confusion.

I step to my right.

The instant he sees her, the disbelief is replaced by astonishment. I take a few more steps away as the astonishment is replaced with joy. I nearly trip over a some trash as he starts running, running towards her.

"No," I whisper. I slap my hand over my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut, crouching, letting a muffled scream rip out of me.

Not because of Rose. Well, no, not entirely because of Rose. But because, as his feet carry him faster and faster towards her, there is a Dalek that's about to try to exterminate the Doctor. And, even though I know he lives and even though I know this needs to happen, I don't want to see it.

"EXT-TER-MIN-ATE!"

A gasp. A sudden stop. A high pitch laser.

And a body hitting the ground.

I jump up, sprinting as fast as my feet can carry me.

He's on the ground.

Rose gets to him first.

I pull the pistol out of its holster, aiming for the Dalek. I tremble as I pull the trigger.

Jack appears out of nowhere and shoots at the Dalek as well.

Its body explodes from the force of our combined shot.

I run faster, faster than I ever thought capable. But it's too slow. Rose is cradling the Doctor's head in her hands. He's convulsing in pain. I can't hear their conversation over the sound of my boots against the pavement.

I stumble to a stop, collapsing. My knees slam into the pavement and my vision is suddenly bright from the pain, but I blink it away.

"Oh my god," Rose is crying. "Please don't die."

"He won't," I whisper.

But no one hears me, because Captain Jack is giving orders.

"Get him into the TARDIS, quick. Move!"

I go to help scoop him up, but the gun is still in my hand. Donna gets to him before me and together, her and Rose help him to his feet. Instinctively, I take the front, knowing Jack will take the back. I flinch at every shadow and every breeze, almost shooting at nothing at least twenty times before we make it to the Tardis.

I open the door for everyone, scanning over their heads for more danger. As soon as Jack is inside, I slam the door shut, tucking the pistol back into the holster. I stride up to Donna, Rose, and the Doctor. They're laid him on the floor. He's twitching, unable to do more than make painful moans.

I put my hands on Donna's shoulders. "Donna, come away," I order her, though I try to be gentle about it. "You need to get away from him."

She doesn't even acknowledge me.

"Just step back!" Jack commands, tossing the giant guns onto the jump seat. "Rose! Do as I say, and get back!"

She shakes her head, sobbing, refusing to even look up from him.

"He's dying, Rose," I snap. "You know what's going to happen."

Donna finally stands and I push her back a few more feet, gentle, calm, my back to Rose and the Doctor. "What do you mean?" Donna asks me.

Rose is sobbing so hard I can barely understand her. "But you can't... not now, I came all this way."

Donna shoves my hands off her. "What do you mean? What happens next?"

He never told her…

"It's starting."

The Doctor. I swing around to watch him gaze at his hand, still in pain, but very clearly… not wanting to go. His hand is radiating orange.

Jack swoops in, pulling Rose back. "Here we go! Good luck, Doctor!"

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?" Donna shouts.

The Doctor, shaking, gets to his legs, pulling himself up using the console as a brace.

"When he's dying," I say, voice stronger than I would have thought. "His body…It repairs itself by regenerating. By becoming a completely different man." My voice hitches on that last word. Even knowing the ending, this is still hard.

Especially knowing the real ending…

"But you can't," Rose cries.

"I'm sorry. It's too late. I'm regenerating!"

His head whips back and his body explodes into bright orange light, erupting from his head and his hands. The sight knocks me back, and I fall away from the other three, landing on my bottom. My body coursing with adrenaline, almost vibrating with it, I throw an arm over my eyes.

A second later, it's dark.

I drop my arm.

Temporarily blinded by the regeneration energy, I have to blink a few times before my eyes focus.

There's a face mere centimeters from mine.

And below the face…

A freaking red bow tie.

"What the…?" I say, staring at the 11th Doctor at if he's an alien. Oh, wait, he is an alien…

"There you are!" he grins. "Safe and sound? Lovely. Time to go rescue the princess! Or, well, time to rescue Amy. I don't think she would fancy being called a princess… OW!"

My hand stings from where I slapped his face. His shock would be comical if I were sitting on a couch watching this on TV while eating popcorn. But I'm not sitting on a couch watching this on TV while eating popcorn. I'm living it with a gun on my belt, pain in my limbs, and frustration in my heart.

"He was just regenerating!" I shout. "I mean… you were just regenerating! Why can't you just leave me alone so that I can help him… I mean you… save the universe?"

His hand rests on the spot where I just slapped him. "Because I need you here to help me save Amy." As if that's the most logical thing in the universe.

"Well tough!" I slap the floor. "I can only help you save one thing at a time. I think the universe trumps Amy."

"Ahem."

I scramble to my feet. Rory is behind me, still in the Roman outfit. His hand is gripping the sword and he's giving me a very dark look. "What did you say?" he warns, voice low.

I stomp my foot. "I didn't mean it that way!" I toss my arms in the air. "Of course Amy is important. But I can only do so much multi-tasking!" I spin to the Doctor. "How about this? Let me help the Doctor… I mean, let me help you save the universe from the Daleks and then let me take like a week off where I can laze around and do nothing, then summon me back here and I will help you save Amy."

The Doctor shakes his head. "I can't do that."

"Why!" I scream.

"Because this is how it's supposed to happen for you!" he shouts. "Because otherwise the course of events can be altered and your personal time stream can change course. I could die with the Daleks. You could die taking a break before coming here."

"How can you possibly know that!"

"Because you told me so!" he shouts. "You told me to make you keep coming back and forth. You told me to pluck you from a certain part of your time stream. You told me it needs to happen."

Great. How can I argue with myself?

"Well, since when have you ever listened to me?"

"Why are we fighting?"

"I don't know!"

I deflate. This is stupid. Why am I fighting him? And since when is 11 on my bad side? Oh, right, since he's making me be his soldier. My, have the times changed. I remember wanting to see 11 in order to get away from 10. Now I want to get away from 11.

"I'm sorry," I say. I look over my shoulder at Rory. "And I'm really sorry, Rory. I'm coming from a pretty stressful situation right now. I'm kinda focused on that."

Rory shrugs. "I understand. Just… never say that Amy isn't important again."

"I didn't say…" I sigh. "I promise. And you," I spin back to the Doctor. "Cut me some slack here. I'm surprised I haven't passed out from the not-so-spaced-apart time travel."

The Doctor nods slowly, not looking at me. He's leaning forward at the console, gripping the front of it. His jaw is clenched. "Rory," he drawls, stretching out this name. "Why don't you go fix some tea?"

Well, that's a dismissal if there ever was one.

Rory, blathering a little bit, eventually leaves. I picture him in his Roman uniform making tea in the kitchen. It almost makes me smile. Almost.

"Lily," the Doctor says, voice neutral, still not looking at me. "Please come here."

Should I listen to him or give him a fight? Nah, it's easier to just listen to him. He's clearly in a mood. But I'm going to take my time. I dawdle, placing one foot slowly in front of the other, until I'm next to the Doctor.

He finally looks at me.

Well.

In the depths of his eyes, there are many emotions. Hurt. Anger. Worry. Betrayal. And something… else. Something that makes his eyes go stormy. But not the Oncoming Storm. A different storm.

"Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?" he says. "I let them kidnap Amy."

I shake my head. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was my fault the moment the Tardis crashed into her back yard."

"Are you really going to go all angsty on me right now?" I am so not in the mood for this. "Because I'm still in battle mode."

"Good," he cuts me off. "Because that's what I need. Lily, there are four people that I can think of that would stop at nothing to get Amy back. One of them is making tea. The other, well, I was wrong about her. The third is myself. And the last is you. The time for playing nice is over. They lost the chance at redemption when they took my friend. I need an army. I need the best. And she's standing right in front of me." He reaches out, caressing my face with his fingertips. I lean into the touch automatically. "I need your help. It's not going to work if you don't want to help me. I need you. I need you to want to help me."

I swallow. "Earlier in my time stream, you wanted to say something to me, but you couldn't say it. Can you say it now?"

His hard face collapses. His mouth opens and closes. "I can't," he whispers, strained. "There's too much."

I nod, biting my lower lip. Well… it was worth a try. "Of course I want to help you, Doctor," I whisper. "If I didn't, I would have left a long time ago. We always want to help you."

He smiles, but it's one of those sad smiles. Like he wants to be happy, but he just can't bring himself to feel it. He cups my cheek. "I hate that I have that effect on people."


	46. 17:  A Good Man Goes to Journey's End 4

**Ok, I swear, this is the last update for at least five days, because I am going away on a mini vacation and won't have the time or ability to write.**

**And this was so much fun to write! Lily is turning out to be the reluctant heroine!  
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**A Good Man Goes To Journey's End**

**Part Four**

Do you ever look at a moment in your life and think to yourself, "Why the hell am I here?"

This is one of those moments.

My brain, thankfully, hasn't exploded from going from one stressful situation to another. My body hasn't collapsed upon itself. My nerves haven't imploded. My heart isn't jumping out of my chest.

I guess I'm stronger than I thought I was.

Because here I am. Making what may be a really stupid mistake.

"Are you nervous?" Rory asks me.

I shake my head, breaking myself from the reverie. Rory's features are shadowed and his sword glints in the limited light. He's across the alcove from me. We're waiting in front of the entrance to Madame Kovarian's escape shuttle. The thick walls to the left of us mask the sound of what may possibly be the slaughter/entrapment of an entire crew by space pirates. Yeah. It's one of those nights.

The station rocks. Cue Danny Boy shooting the hell out of the communications.

I put a hand on the wall to stabilize myself. "I'm just thinking."

"Of what?"

"That we shouldn't be talking right now."

Lie. I'm thinking about how we're waiting to kidnap back a kidnapped baby that isn't a baby at all, but Flesh. And I'm letting it happen. But who knows if Melody is even still on the station?

"We have a minute," Rory says, trying to keep his balance.

I quirk up an eyebrow, but I don't think he can see it. While Rory is still in his Roman costume, I'm going for something a little different. I don't know where the Doctor pulled this outfit from, but it's… kinda awesome. A short sleeved white button down shirt under a dark brown vest with bronze buttons. Tight brown pants tucked into comfortable knee high boots with bronze buckles. The Alpha Meson pistol now has a mate (yay!), which are both stuffed into a holsters on a wide brown belt. I even messed up my hair a little. To finish off this odd, yet awesomely steam punk outfit is a fob watch on a bronze chain tucked into a pocket of the vest.

And before you ask, yes I opened the watch. No, I am not a Time Lord.

I don't know why I'm dressed like a time traveling steam punk, but it's pretty cool. Of course, if I end up back in Journey's End, everyone is probably going to be pretty confused. But the Doctor assured me that he remembers me wearing this.

"Why?" I ask. "Are you nervous?"

Rory shrugs. I think. I do hear the clink of armor scrap against the wall. "I just want Amy and my child back."

"Oh, Rory," I whisper.

"What?"

I shake my head. "Nothing."

"Not nothing," he insists, taking a small step forward. "Do you know something?"

I hold out my hand. "Keep your position."

"What do you know, Lily?"

I shush him. And just in time.

Because Madame Kovarian is walking down the hall, giving her guards orders. I press my back close to the wall and slowly, making as little noise as I possibly can, I gripe my pistols, drawing them from the holsters.

"Get back in there with the rest of them," her voice echoes off the walls. "Remember. The Doctor must think he's winning. Right until the trap closes."

The baby cries.

Madame Kovarian turns around, assumedly to pick her up.

Rory draws his sword to her neck. "No," he says, voice serious.

As she turns to him, I step forward, lifting my pistols, keeping her in my sight.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I say. Really? That's the best I could come up with? Am I just a giant cliché?

As Rory and I circle her, she is calm, confident. "I have a crew of twenty. How do you expect to gain control of my ship?"

Rory sniffs in amusement.

The doors to the escape shuttle make a sound like air is leaving. The doors whoosh open and Madame Kovarian turns her head. A crewmember, tied with rope, is pushed out of the shuttle as the pirate Captain Avery and his son Toby step out. Avery is pointing a gun at Kovarian.

"The ship is ours, milady," Avery says,.

Can't you just hear the triumphant music?

"Right then," I say, poking Kovarian with the right pistol. I place the left one back in it's holster as two reptilian humanoids, two Silurians, march down the corridor towards us. "Come with us."

She looks me up and down, the eyebrow over her stupid eye patch raising. "And if I don't?"

I step forward, pressing my pistol to her chest. "I'd actually prefer it if you didn't. Things would go by smoother if you weren't around."

Melody gives a little cry. Rory bends down to pick her up, shushing her gently.

I glance at the baby and grip the pistol harder.

"Oh," Kovarian says. "I know who you are now. Lillian Meyers. The girl from a different universe."

My gaze whips back to her. "You're lucky I'm under explicit instructions not to kill anyone." Something the Doctor made very, very clear to me. That speech only lasted about 90 seconds. Thank god.

"I see," she says. Her lips purse, though she's smirking a little bit.

"Rory," I say, not taking my eyes off Kovarian for a moment. "You good?"

"Yeah," he says, voice soft, emotional. He clears his throat. "Yes," he adds, voice stronger now.

I smile a little bit. "See you later then." I lose the smile, glaring instead at Kovarian's one eye. "Come on, then." I step aside, forcing her in front of me. "To the control room."

Back straight and way too confident, she starts walking. The Silurians flank me from behind.

Every second of the walk, I tell myself not to shoot her. I think about what's going on now, what's going to happen later, and all the crap we're all going to have to go through. And it's all because of this woman. My finger graces the trigger way too many times. I finally tuck the gun back into the holster, because, not only is my arm shaking from holding it up, but I'm way too tempted to just kill the bitch.

"You can stop this, you know," Kovarian says, not looking at me. "I know where you're from and I know you know what's going to happen. Why don't you just kill me and save the day?"

I lift my chin. "Is that a request?"

She laughs. My eyes narrow and my fingers itch to pull out every follicle of her curly hair. "This is the problem with good people," she says. "A bad person wouldn't think twice about killing someone who's planning to bring them down."

"I'm not good," I say. I know I'm falling into her trap, but I can't help it. "I'm just doing what's right."

"Are you?" she asks, amused. "Is it right to let the people you love suffer?"

I yank left gun out of the holster with my right hand. I grab Kovarian's shoulder with my left hand, forcing her to spin around. I shove her against a wall and slam the barrel of the pistol against her temple. She winces and I feel triumphant.

"You don't know anything," I hiss into her face.

Her one eye looks me up and down. "I know you won't kill me." She pauses. Then, "Because he wouldn't."

I almost do it. Almost.

But I'm smarter than that.

"As much as I wept with joy at your demise," I said, using the past tense on purpose. What? She doesn't know that I don't know if she dies or not. That's my advantage. "It's not your time yet. There's too much at stake, too many lives entwined with yours." I step back, grinning, putting the gun away. "Pity. I'd love to be the one to kill you."

Kovarian, looking a little disheveled (which I think is the best reaction I'd get), straightens her spine, spins on one heel, and struts down the hall.

Kovarian at bat. Here's the pitch. Kovarian swings. Strike one.

Did I just use a baseball analogy? Yup. I did. Meh, could be worse. I could have used a cricket analogy. (That would be crazy, because I've never watched a cricket match in my life.)

Smirking, I follow her, confident with the Silurians at my back. But the smirk fades the closer we get to the control room. The Doctor's voice echoes down the corridor.

"I want you to be famous for those exact words. I want people to call you Colonel Run-Away. I want children laughing outside your door, 'cause they've found the house of Colonel Run-Away. And, when people come to you, and ask if trying to get to me through the people I love... is in any way a good idea... I want you to tell them your name."

We enter the room and stop.

"Oh, look! I'm angry. That's new," the Doctor says, his back to us. Colonel Manton stands, back straight, looking at the Doctor, worried. "I'm really not sure what's going to happen now," the Doctor admits.

Kovarian says, "The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules."

The Doctor's head turns, slow. He watches us for a moment, then turns completely. "Good men don't need rules." Barely containing his anger, he steps to Kovarian, pointing at her. "Today is not the day to find out why I have so many."

My fingers caress the butt of a pistol of their own accord the tense silence that follows.

"Give the order," Kovarian says finally.

The Doctor's eyes widen, surprised. Then the confidence sets in, loosening his face, and he pulls back with a bit of a swagger.

"Give the order Colonel Run-Away."

The Doctor looks me over, taking in my tense stance. He pauses beside me, running his fingers across the hand waiting beside the gun. "Come on, Lils." Simple words, almost nonchalant in tone, but, as usual, his eyes say it all. It's a warning.

Because he knows I'm still flirting with the idea of killing her.

His hand grips mine, physically turning me. He puts an arm around my shoulder as Colonel Run-Away begins to give the order and we leave the room.

"You're shaking," he says from the corner of his mouth once we're a good distance away.

I hold my hand up and that's when I notice the slight tremor. I squeeze my fingers into a fist and fling my arm down. "It's been a stressful day. I probably need a sandwich."

The Doctor glances at me, then pulls me close, pressing a kiss to my temple. "Just a bit longer."

I snort. "For you maybe. Who knows when I'll be eating." More of a statement than a question.

His arm drops. "I can't take care of you and save Amy at the same time."

My eyes flick to his face. His jaw is set. "I'm not asking you to take care of me. I'm trying to be strong here. I'm not exactly an offensive kinda girl."

His face softens. "I know. Sorry. Lots of bravado today. Getting caught up in it."

The corners of my lips curl up of their own accord. "It's ok. Lots of saving today. Not really used to it."

"You're completely amazing, you know that, right?"

I stop walking suddenly. The Doctor is a few steps ahead before he notices I'm not beside him. He spins on one heel, confused. I take a second to just look him over, the man who will raise an army to save someone he loves.

"What?" he asks.

I take two steps forward, grab the lapels of that tweed jacket, and smoosh my lips against his. A second later I pull back and release him.

I half expected him to react in that bumbling absent minded professor way he has. Instead, he just smiles and fixes me with a confident, cocky, sexy look.

"And what was that for?" he asks, licking his lips.

I swallow and shrug one shoulder, pretending my hormones aren't going insane. "For being generally awesome. Even if I'm still mad at you."

His eyebrows raise as I pass him. He catches up a second later. "That's how you kiss when you're mad?" he teases, poking my shoulder.

I slap his arm away. "Oh, shut up."

"Never," he flirts. He grabs my hand, forcing me to switch direction. He grabs my waist like a gallant, dandy hero. My chest and lower body are pressed against him.

"Do you think you can find it in your heart to forgive me for stealing you from time and making you help me save our friend?"

My cheeks are already heating up. "Where are we?" I ask. Then, I try to elaborate. "I mean, in our time line. It seems like every time I see you, our relationship is completely different from the last time I saw you in my time stream."

His eyes burn across my skin. "I haven't seen you since Christmas. I don't think that has happened for you."

I think a moment. "The last time I saw you… well, you in this regeneration… you told me you knew how to send me home."

He stiffens. "Did I?"

"Yeah." I clear my throat. "But if you want to be technical, that last time I saw you, you were fake regenerating."

He thinks a moment. Then he releases me and starts walking.

Ok…

Shaking my head, I follow him. Yes, I know. I know what you're thinking. And yes, a big chunk of me wants to grab him, shake him, and ask him what he's doing and why he keeps going all hot and cold on me.

But as soon as I step to do so, I'm engulfed in electricity.

And smack my head against a wall.

Ow.

Rubbing my head, I take a step back. Oh, wait, not a wall. A coral column. Back on the Tardis with 10.

"Lil-aaaaay!" the Doctor says. I spin around. He's walking towards me with his arms wide, a manic smile on his face. I quickly note Donna, Captain Jack, and Rose. Well. I've been gone a while for me, but barely at all for them.

The Doctor squeezes me, spinning me around in a circle, laughing. "Look, see? I'm all right!" Grinning, he drops me down. "Used the regeneration energy to heal myself, but as soon as that was done, I didn't need to change. I didn't want to, why would I?" He straightens his tie. "Look at me!" He winks. I just stare at him. "So, to stop the energy going all the way, I siphoned off the rest into a handy bio-matching receptacle - namely, my hand." He grabs my arm and drags me, pointing at the hand in the jar thing. "My hand, there. My handy spare hand." He spins back to me, grinning. I blink a few times. His face falls. "What?"

I shake my head. "Future stuff. Ignore me a moment. Need to get my bearings again."

He gives me a once over, but he's still in that manic mode and I'm definitely crushing his mood. "Interesting outfit. Why do you have two guns?"

I just look at him. "You'll see."

He pauses, but he's still too excited, so he turns away. "Remember, Rose? Christmas Day? Sycorax? Lost my hand in a sword fight? That's my hand!"

Rose, uncertain, looks from him, his hand, to him, to me, and back to him again.

"What do you think?" he asks.

She takes a small step forward. "And... you're still you?"

"I'm still me."

As they embrace, I turn away from the scene.

And it just keeps getting better.


	47. 17:  A Good Man Goes to Journey's End 5

**.17.**

**A Good Man Goes To Journey's End**

**Part Five**

"Well, look at you, stranger."

I turn to find Captain Jack's enigmatic smile looming over me. The negative emotions melt away (for the moment) and I find myself genuinely returning his smile.

"Hey, Jack," I say.

He hugs me, the scent of his fresh, clean cologne enveloping me. "I like the hair," he says when the hug ends.

I run my fingers through the short locks. "Thanks," I say, only kind of meaning it. "It's taking some getting used to."

He regards me seriously for a moment. I blush under his scrutiny.

"What?" I ask, ducking my head.

"When did you last see me?" he asks, voice low.

My forehead tenses. "After The Year The Never Was."

He glances from me to the Doctor, worried. Then, when he looks at me again, he's smiling. But it's kinda… forced. "OK."

I grab his arm. "What?"

He shakes is head. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Jack," I warn. "What aren't you telling me?"

He just smiles. "It's nothing, sweetheart. Just know that if you ever need me, I'm here for you."

I gulp. "I really don't like the sound of that."

But before he can answer, the Tardis's cloister bells start ringing. The power shuts off; only emergency lights are on. I lurch back as we're pulled up.

We've been kidnapped by the Daleks.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Kovarian or Daleks? River or Rose? 11 or 10? Which lie do I prefer? I guess it doesn't matter. I'm going to have to lie to everyone no matter where I am. That's why I'm standing off to the side. I hope everyone will forget that I'm there and that I know what's going on. Maybe I can just pretend to be along for the painful ride.

I'm already completely involved in one battle right now. I don't need a second to weigh on my mind.

Jack's voice makes me open my eyes. He over behind Rose again. "There's a massive Dalek ship at the center of the planets." There's just enough light to make out his handsome face, his hands clasped behind his back. "They're calling it the Crucible. Guess that's our destination."

Donna turns to the Doctor. "You said these planets were like an engine. But what for?"

The Doctor's face brightens. "Rose! You've been in a parallel world, that world's running ahead of this universe - you've seen the future, what was it?"

Rose shrugs, one hand on her hip, the other bracing the console. "It's the darkness."

"The stars were going out," Donna says.

"One by one," Rose agrees. "We looked up at the sky and they were just dying. Basically, we've been building this um... this travel machine, this... uh... Dimension Cannon, so I could... well, so I could…"

The Doctor raises his eyebrows. "What?"

I wince, trying to make out the look on his face.

Rose leans forward. "So I could come back!"

The Doctor doesn't smile. His eyebrows fall and he fidgets a second, tugging at one ear. He casts me a long look. I gulp. I can see the gears turning in his head.

Confused, Rose continues. "Anyway, suddenly, it started to work. And the dimensions started to collapse." The Doctor pulls his gaze from me and turns back to Rose, listening. "Not just in our world - not just in yours - but the whole of reality, even the Void was dead. Something is…" Her voice starts to trail off as the Doctor straightens, taking giant steps toward me. "…Destroying…everything."

I stare at my hands, picking at the cuticle on my right ring finger.

"Lillian," the Doctor says. Oh, I do not like that tone. That is not a good tone. "What do you know?"

I swallow and shrug a shoulder, sticking my hands into my pockets. I force myself to look into those dark, intense eyes. "Nothing."

He grabs my upper arms, digging his fingers in. "Don't lie to me!"

Jack, Donna, and Rose are watching us with varying degrees of interest and confusion. Rose is the most confused, with Donna as a close second. Jack, however, is just interested.

"I can't tell you, Doctor," I say, struggling to break his grasp.

"We're not just talking about the end of the world here!" the Doctor pleads, face contorted in panic. He gives me a little shake. "Not even the end of this universe. All universes. Even yours!"

I push at his chest. "And if I say the wrong thing, everything will go very wrong and all the universes will die!"

He cups my face in his hands. Apparently he's decided to change tactics. "I've never asked this of you, Lily. Well, I suppose I have, but this is the first time that it's important. Please tell me what's going to happen."

I bite my lower lip. "I can't. You made me promise."

"Is anyone else confused?" Donna asks. I break eye contact with the Doctor to glance over at her. "Why would Lily know what's going to happen?"

Never glancing away from me, the Doctor answers. "She's from a parallel universe where this one is a show on telly."

Before everyone's head can explode, I butt in. "But I'm not the one who's important right now!" I take a step back and the Doctor finally lets me go. I point at Donna. "Donna's the important one!"

"Me?" Donna scoffs as everyone turns their attention to her now. "How am I important?"

"Tell her, Rose," I say. "Tell her about the timelines."

Now everyone turns to Rose. Her jaw opens and closes for a moment, but then she say, "The Dimension Cannon could measure timelines, and it's... it's weird, Donna, but they all seem to converge on you."

Donna takes a step back. "But why me? I mean... what have I ever done? I'm a temp from Chiswick!"

The Doctor cocks his head to the side, regarding me. He opens his mouth to say something, but the console starts beeping. An image pops up on the computer screen. His shoulders fall as he reads it. "The Dalek Crucible. All aboard…"

And for the first time ever, the Tardis lands softly.

I stare at the door. I'm shaking as I clutch onto the edge of the console. I can't stay here, but I really don't want to go out there.

Headless Monks or Daleks?

I brush my fingertips against the butt of my pistols.

"Doctor!" comes a deep Dalek voice from outside the Tardis. "You will step forth or die!"

I can do this. Just keep your mouth shut and stay out of the way.

For once.

"We'll have to go out," the Doctor is watching the door. "Cause if we don't, they'll get in."

I stumble back a few steps. Nope, I can't do this. We're talking about Daleks here! These aren't, there are no plungers and whisks. Real, live, actual, evil Daleks.

"You told me nothing could get through those doors!" Rose cries.

Jack adds, "You've got extrapolator shielding."

No, Lillian, you can do this. You've already faced off Kovarian. You killed two eterziel. You defeated the Master… well, helped, anyway. And you know that this isn't going to fail, because this isn't where it ends. Time can be rewritten, yes, but this is too big to be changed. Way too big.

The Doctor spins to us, addressing Rose and Jack. "Last time we fought the Daleks, they were scavengers and hybrids and mad." His tone is serious, matter-of-fact. "But this is a fully fledged Dalek Empire... at the height of its power. Experts at fighting Tardises, they can do anything." He pauses, his eyes pleading as he meets mine. "Right now, that wooden door... is just wood."

Jack turns to Rose. "What about your Dimension Jump?"

She shrugs. "It needs another twenty minutes, and anyway, I'm not leaving."

The Doctor asks Jack, "What about your teleport?"

Jack shakes his head. "Went down with the power-loss."

The Doctor studies me for a moment. "I could try fixing Lily's vortex manipulator."

I just snort as the three of them look at me. "Yeah, because that's worked in the past. And the future, come to think of it."

The Doctor scratches the back of his head. "Are you positive, Lily, that there is nothing you can tell us that will help?"

"If you wanna completely ruin everything, sure. I'll tell you everything. But only if you wanna lose."

He nods, sighing. "I know…I know…" He breathes out through his teeth. "Right then. All of us together... yeah." His gaze flicks past my shoulder. "Donna?"

No response.

As he brushes past me, I turn. Donna is starting into space.

"Donna," the Doctor repeats, shaking her shoulders.

She blinks. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry, there's nothing else we can do."

She nods. "No, I know." She tries a watery little smile and it just breaks my heart.

The Doctor nods, releasing her, once again coming towards the door.

I can't stop looking at Donna… This is the last time I'm going to see her like this, like herself. I go to her, taking her hand in mine, and give her a smile. She squeezes my hand, a small smile of her own gracing her lips.

"Surrender, Doctor, and face your Dalek masters!" a Dalek voice rings through the Tardis. I look at the ceiling, as if the Dalek is right there.

"Daleks," Rose says, her voice a little too perky. She's bordering on crazy.

"Oh, god!" Jack singsongs, laughing.

The Doctor spins to all of us, taking us in. He's nervous, but when his eyes brush mine, he gains a bit more confidence. Because he knows that I know that we all live.

Unless, you know, time decides to change.

"It's been good, though, hasn't it?" he says. He looks at Donna. "You were brilliant." Proud. Confident. Then to Jack, "And you were brilliant." Off-handed, almost like he didn't want to say it. Now Rose, "And you… you were brilliant." As if she was a treasure. Finally… me. The weighted look in his eyes makes my stomach jump. "And you, Lily… you are so brilliant." Present tense. It makes me smile. He winks, and then turns around. "Blimey." He opens the door.

Rose pulls her coat down, then follows him, with Jack tagging behind her.

I lift my chin and, still holding Donna's hand, step forward. But meet resistance. Because Donna hasn't moved.

"Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks!"

Donna isn't coming with us.

I spin to her. "I don't care what River said in The Library," I tell Donna, squeezing her hand again. "You are my best friend here and you always will be, ok?"

"Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks!"

Donna is more worried than I've ever seen her. "We'll get out of this, yeah? Did they show that on the telly?"

"Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks!"

"Absolutely," I lie.

"Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks!"

Her head cocks to the side. "Then why are you looking at me as if you're never going to see me again?"

Shit. I've already been here too long. I pull my hand out of hers.

"Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks!"

"We should go," I say, jumping away from her. Head down, I power walk down the aisle to the door.

But stop.

"Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks!"

I could fix this. I could get Donna out of here. I could save her.

I turn back to her as she walks toward me. I could just let her slip out of the Tardis before me. I could stay… I could become the Doctor Lily. I mean, I already have some of the knowledge in my head and I have two souls… Maybe a body with two souls can handle a Time Lord/Human Metacrisis!

I stand perfectly still as Donna passes me. I swallow, following every steps she's taking.

But she stops.

"Behold, Doctor," a Dalek says. "Behold the might of the true Dalek Race."

Donna turns to look at me. Her face is worried, confused. Her lips are curled into a perfect O.

I force a tense smile. "I'm right behind you." My voice is too shaky.

I think I've made a big mistake.

"Donna? Lily?" the Doctor calls. "It's no safer in there…"

I gasp as my heart starts to pound. I run to Donna, spinning her, trying to push her out of the door.

But the doors slam shut.

And Donna is still in the Tardis.

And so am I.

Trembling, I start pounding on the door. "No!" I scream. "Doctor, open the door! We have to get Donna out!"

Donna is rattling the door handle. "Doctor! What've you done?"

From behind the door, the Doctor is shouting. "It wasn't me, I didn't do anything!"

"I'm not staying behind!" Donna pounds on the door.

I cover my mouth with my hands and step back.

"Doctor!" she continues shouting.

I was too late. Why am I always too late? I could have saved her! She could have been all right!

But this was her destiny, a tiny voice in the back of my mind enters, creating doubt. It was always her destiny. You can't interfere with that. I stumble back some more, grabbing onto a railing to support myself.

No. I can still save her. I have to keep her far away from the hand.

"This is Time Lord treachery!" says the Dalek.

"Oh my god," I gasp. "Donna, I'm so sorry."

She doesn't hear me over the banging of the door.

"Nevertheless: the Tardis is a weapon and it will be destroyed."

My stomach jumps into my throat as the Tardis falls.

"Donna!" I scream, clutching the railing to keep from falling.

I reach out for her and, luckily, her hand grabs mine. I pull her, hard as I can, to the railing, even as it feel like my shoulder is being torn off. Screaming in unison, we clutch the railing.

But then the lights burst, scattering glass. The Tardis starts catching on fire. A high pitch tremor runs through my brain. The Tardis is in pain.

"What do we do?" Donna asks.

I take a deep breath. "Let's climb somewhere more stable."

Screaming intermittently, we manage to climb up to the console and hide behind it. The free fall has ended, but the Tardis is still exploding in places. On our knees, we clutch each other. The console bursts into flames.

Clutching the jump seat, I cough as the Tardis fills with smoke. Donna grabs the lapels of my vest.

"Can you get us out of here?" Her voice is desperate, her eyes wild.

Eyes watering, I shake my head. "I can't. It doesn't work that way. I'm sorry."

She falls to her hands and knees, coughing, almost sobbing. Glass bursts. Sweat pours into my eyes. I'm afraid to move, in case something explodes next to me. Coughing, I slump down, hoping the air is better closer to the floor.

Donna falls silent.

Wiping my eyes, I look at her. She's staring at the hand. The Doctor's hand. The hand in the jar.

I'm really doing a bad job of saving her.

She reaches out.

"No!" I scream, tearing my throat up.

Orange tendrils of light lick at her fingertips.

I jump at her, intent on wrestling her away. I fall to my left side with my arms wrapped around her.

But the regenerative energy has already latched on. And Donna is frozen in place.

With me attached to her.

Because I can't move. Even as the energy swoops over my skin, making my body static. Even as the energy absorbs into my skin. Even as the hand's container bursts.

Donna and I are thrown back and I'm finally able to let go of her. I roll over and my fingers graze something warm, alive. I blink. I'm still covered in energy. And I can't move my hand. My left hand. The hand with the vortex manipulator. My head lolls over. I'm touching the Doctor's hand, clutching it, holding it as if the hand were still attached to the Doctor. The fingers are wiggling. Terrified, I try to snatch my hand away, but it won't budge. More energy pours from the hand, taking the shape of a man and some of it is still crawling up my arm and into my chest, tickling me, shocking me.

I meet Donna's shocked eyes.

And the energy bursts.

I'm thrown back again, gasping. My hand is still glowing. I hold it up to my face.

"It's you!" Donna cries.

The energy sizzles into my skin.

"Oh yes," comes the familiar voice of the Doctor.

Shaking, heart pounding, I lay flat on the ground.

What. The hell. Was that?

"You're naked!" Donna says.

"Oh… yes…" The Metacrisis says.

Taking some deep breaths, I roll over to all fours, trying to stand.

A pair of arms scoops me up. "Easy does it. You ok?" The Metacrisis asks.

I look down and, seeing the naked chest, immediately look back up before I can go much lower. "Peachy," I say, letting the sarcasm drip. "Can you go put on some clothes, please?"

The Metacrisis lets me go, grinning. "You like me!" he singsongs. "Well, not me. The other me. The real me. Well, I am real, but I mean the original me."

I blink at him. "Huh?"

"Oh hell!" he says, taking a step back. He clutches his head, bent over. Donna, rightfully, averts her eyes. Then the Metacrisis snaps back up. "A bow tie! Fish fingers and custard! That's what I turn into?"

"What?" I cry.

The Metacrisis holds up a finger. "Oh… ohhhh… that's who River Song is, eh? Blimey, didn't see that coming. Well, why would I? I haven't met Amy and Rory yet."

"Oh my god!" I clamp my hands over my mouth and take a step back. Then my hands drop. "Did you… read my mind?"

"No!" the Metacrisis says. "Well, kinda? I mean, I don't know exactly what you're thinking right now, though I can guess, but… everything in your mind up until the moment you and Donna latched together is in my mind. Even your prom. Blech. That dress was hideous. Mint green is not your color, Lily-Bean."

The use of my childhood nickname breaks me of the shock. "Fix the Tardis, then we'll figure this whole… thing out, ok?" I turn around. "And for god's sake, put on some pants!"


	48. 17:  A Good Man Goes to Journey's End 6

**Two in one day! And poor, poor Lily. I think I'm torturing her.  
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**A Good Man Goes To Journey's End**

**Part Six**

"All repaired!" the Metacrisis says, jumping off a railing.

He's finally put on some clothes—the blue suit with a burgundy button up—and he's been running around fixing the Tardis. I'm sitting with my back against the console, letting the chirping, happy buzzing of the Tardis cheer me up. Or try to, anyway.

I keep peaking at Donna. I don't know if I've saved her or not or if I've just made things worse.

"Lovely!" the Metacrisis continues. He slides on the blue suit jacket as he strides up to Donna. "Shh! No one knows we're here. Gotta keep quiet. Silent running, like on submarines when they can't even drop a spanner. Don't drop a spanner. I like blue! What do you think?"

Donna gapes at him. "You - are - bonkers!"

He looks crushed. "Why? What's wrong with blue?"

Donna spins to me, freaking out. "Is that what Time Lords do? Lop a bit off, grow another one?" She turns back to him. "You're like worms!"

He shakes his head. "No, no, no, no, no, I'm unique. Never been another like me! Because all that regeneration energy went into the hand - look at my hand, I love that hand…" He lifts it up, wiggling his fingers at me. "But then you touched it and Lily touched you and— WHAM!" He smacks his hands together. "Instantaneous biological metacrisis! I grew... out of you two." He pauses, looking Donna up and down and then glancing at me. His eyebrows raise and lower. "Still, could be worse."

"Oi! Watch it, spaceman!"

"Oi! Watch it, Earth-girl. Oh!" He gasps. The twin looks of horror would be funny if I didn't have such a foreboding feeling. "I sound like you! I sound all... all sort of, rough."

"Oi!"

"Oi!"

"Oi!"

"Spanners! Shh!"

I stand as the Metacrisis continues. "Must've picked up a bit of your voice, that's all. Your voice and Lily's mind. That's it. Is it? Did I? No." He spins to me and I can see the information exploding in his brain. "Oh! You are kidding me! No way! One heart…" He puts a hand to his chest. "I've got one heart! This body... has got only one heart!"

"What?" Donna cries. She touches his chest. "What, like you're human?"

His face contorts as if he just drank sour milk. "Oh, that's disgusting."

"Oi!"

"Oi!"

"Stop it!"

"No, wait," the Metacrisis says. "I'm… part Time Lord, part human…" His facial expressions change as he begins, I assume, remembering things that I know. He looks at me, almost sad. "Oh…" His eyes roam back to Donna.

Luckily, she's staring at nothing, otherwise she'd have seen the look of pity and remorse he just gave her.

"I kept hearing that noise," Donna says. "That heartbeat."

"Oh, that was me. My single heart," he waves his hand, dismissive, and crosses over to stand next to me. He looks me up and down, reciting the lines with the right inflection, but not the right emotion on his face. Because he knows what's going to happen to Donna. "Cause I'm a complicated event in time and space, must've rippled back. Converging on you."

Donna turns to both of us. "But why me?"

I smile at her. "Because you're special."

She frowns. "Did you hear it, Lily? The heartbeat?"

I bite my lower lip. "No… I didn't. I wasn't… I'm not… I shouldn't…"

The Metacrisis puts a hand on my shoulder. "I can see, Donna... what you're thinking. All that attitude, all that lip, 'cause all this time... you think you're not worth it."

"Stop it."

I shake my head. "But you are, Donna." And I tried to take that away from her. To save her, yes, but still. And I might have just made things worse. "You are so special and so important!"

"Oh, Lily! Stop it!"

The Metacrisis leaves my side to take her shoulders in her hands. "Donna, we were always heading for this. You came to the Tardis.  
>And you found me again. Your granddad. You parked your car right where the Tardis was gonna land. That's not coincidence at all!" He spins, rubbing his temples. "We were blind. Something's been drawing us together for such a long time."<p>

Donna shakes her head. "But you're talking like... destiny. But there's no such thing... is there?"

He eyes open and they find me. Because his back is to her, he lets his face show the pain he's feeling. Because he knows what her destiny was. "It's still not finished. It's like... the pattern's not complete. The strands are still joining together." He takes a deep breath and drops his hands. "Oh, sweet Lily," he says, throwing me a complete turn of subjects. "There is so much in your mind…"

I shrug a shoulder. "It's fine."

"No," he says. "You and Donna… you were both meant to be here, together. Time was supposed to change."

I gasp. Could he really mean…? "So… is she going to be…?"

He shakes his head, cutting me off. "I don't know. We'll have to wait." A funny look crosses his face. Then his eyes widen. "Oh! Well… I did not see that coming. Not at all! Well, I'm sure I would have figured it out."

"Figure what out?" Donna demands.

His eyes twinkle in mirth. "The second soul."

I jump at him, grabbing his jacket. "What?"

He just smiles and pulls my hands away. Gripping my wrists, he grins. "I don't think I should tell you. You probably won't like it."

"So you know what it is?" I smile, ecstatic. "So you can take it out of me!"

He lets me go. "I know who it is, but you can't take it out, Lily. It doesn't work like that. It's been inside you too long. You could die."

I point at him. "Could! Could die! Meaning there is a chance that I wouldn't!"

He shakes his head. "If you know who it was, you might change your mind about taking her out."

"What?" I say, rolling my eyes. "Is it River Song or something?"

He's silent.

Silent and knowing.

I raise an eyebrow. "Seriously? You expect me to believe that the soul of River Song resides in me?"

"Considering I have three sets of memories in my head, one of the Doctor's, one of yours, and one that isn't Donna, I think I would know."

I laugh, but it's weak. "You're pulling my leg."

"I'm really not."

I clutch at my chest. "So I have the soul of the Doctor's future wife in my body!"

Donna is watching us, her mouth open. "What?"

"I'm not sure that's how it works," the Metacrisis says. "And this isn't the time or place to discuss this."

"You can't just drop a bomb like that on me and expect me to forget it!" I shriek. I can feel my voice getting higher, louder, cracking. My skin is tingling as if I'm going to explode. "Get her out of me!" I start tugging at my skin, as if that will take the second soul out.

The Metacrisis grabs my arms. "Lily, you need to calm down! I'm sorry for springing this on you, but, well, I'm part Donna now, so I don't really know how to keep my gob shut."

"Oi!" Donna shouts, offended.

"Think about it, Lils," he continues. "Back when the Doctor accidentally told you that he knew how to send you home, he said that he wanted to show you who you really are. And on Midnight, you spoke to River. Think about what she said!"

Mrs. Know It All.

She affirmed that she was a doctor.

My eyes are widening as I remember.

Back in the Library, there were so many signs. I remember seeing Mels's face in the pond. And River's face in the stream.

"It'll take more than a doctor to nurse the lily back to health, not when the river flows so strong."

The words come, unbidden, spilling from my lips. I push the Metacrisis away.

"Oh my god," I say.

I feel like something is about to happen. Like, because I know who the second soul is, she'll come out.

But she doesn't.

Instead, my body is engulfed in electricity.

And I fall onto a hard floor.

"I wish you would stop leaving!" the 11th Doctor barks.

I sit up, dizzy, disoriented. "I'm River," I whisper.

The Doctor seizes me by the armpits and drags me up. "Come on, then! Off we go to find Amy and Rory!"

I turn around, looking up into that charmingly funny face. "Did you know?"

He head tilts to the side. "Know what?"

"The second soul…" I whisper. Trembling, cover my eyes with my hands. "Did you know who it is?"

He gathers me in his arms, shushing me. "I just found out. Shh! Don't say her name!"

"How…?" I cry. "How did you find out?"

"She told me. Back on the Tardis. She came out of you for a moment. I didn't ever think it would be her." He gently pries my hands off my eyes, smiling at me. "There now. It's fine. I don't know how she got in there, but there has to be a good reason. We'll figure it out together, all right?"

I'm frozen. I don't even know what to think.

He frowns. "Lily, you already knew you had a second soul. Isn't it better that it's someone you know?"

I give him a look as if he's crazy. Which he is. "How does that make it better?"

He cups my face in his hands. "Hey, hey. I'm sorry. You're right." He kisses my forehead. "Listen, Blossom. I know this is the worst possible thing to say at the moment, but…" I glare up at him. But he just continues. "Do you think you can pull it together?"

I want to say no. I want to claw his eyes out. I want to revel in the deep depression I'm feeling right now. I want him to send me away. And I want to go home.

But this has never been about what I want.

"When this is over," I whisper, harsh. "When I'm done helping you and helping your past… I better have a fucking amazing vacation."

He laughs. I glare at him. He hugs me close, tucking my head under his chin.

"I will give you the most relaxing holiday. That I can promise."

When he lets me go, I wipe my nose and straighten my spine. "What have I missed?" I ask, running a hand through my hair.

"Nothing, actually. You've only been gone for a minute."

Longest. Minute. Ever.

I nod, still shaking. Taking a deep breath, I shove these emotions for later. As usual. "Right. Lead the way. And… sorry, where are we going?"

He takes my hand, leading me down the corridor. "We're meeting up with Amy and Rory."

"Oh, right…" I shake my head. "Ok. Baby Melody."

"Who?"

"Amy and Rory's daughter." I shake my head. "Sorry, I shouldn't have told you that." At least I didn't make the River and Melody connection to him. That would have been… pretty bad.

Oh wow.

Oh wait.

If River is Melody and River is inside me, then we're rescuing myself, in a way. But then again, we're not. Because the Melody that we're going to see is Flesh. She's not real. Melody is somewhere else. Should I tell the Doctor that?

No. Probably not.

"Act surprised when Amy and Rory tell you Melody's name, ok?" I say instead of telling him what just went through my mind.

The Doctor looks me up and down. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"I just found out that River Song is sharing my body with me. If you knew what I know about her, you would understand why I'm very not ok right now." I take another breath and lift my chin. "But we have worse problems right now."

Casting me a worried look, the Doctor hesitates at a doorway. Amy and Rory's voices are drifting out of it. A baby coos. I nod my head at the door and, taking that at face value, the Doctor enters the room, hand still entwined with mine.

Rory and Amy are kissing.

"Ugh, kissing and crying," the Doctor turns around, pulling me with him. "We'll be back in a bit."

"Oi!" Rory calls, serious and stuffy nosed. "You two! Get in here. Now."

The Doctor grins. I follow him down the short metal staircase. We stop at the happy couple and the cooing baby.

She is cute. For Flesh.

"My daughter," Rory says. "What do you think?"

"Hello," the Doctor says, shaking Melody's little hand. "Hello… baby…"

Amy laughs. "Melody."

"Melody!" the Doctor cries, delighted. "Hello, Melody Pond!"

Rory corrects him. "Melody Williams."

"Is a geography teacher!" Amy interrupts. "Melody Pond is a superhero!"

My spine loosens. Everyone is too happy for me to ruin it with my horrible revelation. I don't know why it's so horrible. Maybe because she kills the Doctor? Well, so I assume, anyway.

"She's gorgeous," I say, trying to force happiness and lightheartedness into my tone. It must work, because no one says anything or looks at me oddly.

The Doctor leans over Melody. "Well, yes, I suppose she does smell nice. Never really sniffed her, maybe I should give it a go. Amelia Pond, come here!" He lets go of my hand to pull Amy into a big hug.

"Doctor!" Amy says.

"I'm sorry we were so long." The Doctor takes a big sniff of Amy's hair and nods his head.

"It's OK," Amy laughs. "I knew you were coming. The three of you. My boys and my girl!" Once the Doctor releases Amy, she turns to me and gives me a big hug. Surprised, I return it. "You're both my best friends, you know that, right?"

Sure. I mean, I have your daughter's soul inside me. And I've barely traveled with you. Of course we're best friends.

Something odd must show on my face, because the Doctor steps in once Amy releases me. "Ah, Lily's from the past, so I'm not quite sure if she's… on the same page."

Amy's face falls a bit. "The past? Why is she from the past?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it," the Doctor says, putting an arm around my shoulders. "The point is that she's here and she's willing to help."

Willing? That's a bit harsh for it, I think.

Thankfully, Melody squeals and the Doctor is able to distract everyone.

"It's OK," he tells the baby. "She's still all yours. And really you should call her Mummy, not Big Milk Thing."

Amy falls for the change of subject. "OK, what are you doing?"

"I speak Baby."

"No, you don't!"

He gives her a scoffing look. "I speak everything...Don't I, Melody Pond?" The baby gurgles and the Doctor clutches his bow tie. "No, it's not...it's cool!"

I look up at Rory for a second, still wearing that ridiculous Roman outfit. Holy crap. Is he technically sorta my father in a way? And is Amy technically sorta my mother?

Ugh, that's making my head spin.

Vastra, a Silurian, enters the room, distracting me from that weird train of thought. "Doctor! Take a look. They're leaving."

The Doctor seeks my hand again. We both walk to the window. Down in the hangar, an army of soldiers is marching, hands behind their heads. Marching away.

"Demons Run is ours without a drop of blood spilled. My friend, you have never risen higher!"

I look up at him. At my Doctor. At the man who thinks he's won. But he hasn't. Not yet. And, really, does he win?

The corner of his mouth curls up in a cocky grin. "Right," he says, turning away from the window. "Back to the Tardis. Rory? Mind coming with me?"

Rory hands Melody back to Amy. I pull my hand away from the Doctor and go to the mother and daughter. Amy is rocking back and forth, staring down at Melody as if she's the most beautiful thing in the world.

I smile and for the first time since I got here, it's genuine.

"So… you're not my Lily?" Amy asks, suddenly looking at me.

I shake my head. "I've only met future versions of you. I think. Well, no, Lake Silencio. Sorry."

She shrugs, bouncing Melody gently. "It's all right. I know you skip around sometimes. You did disappear after my honeymoon for a bit."

"So do I travel with you and the Doctor for a while?"

She laughs. "I'm probably not supposed to tell you. What is it you and River always say? Spoilers?"

My stomach does a funny jump when she says River. I automatically glance down at Melody. Shaking my head and smiling at this whole situation, I reach to shake Melody's little hand. As our skin touches, I jump back, shocked.

She starts to cry.

"Sorry," I say automatically. "Static electricity."

Amy pulls her close, cooing, rocking.

I don't think I should touch her again. But I know I've touched River before… and this isn't even technically Melody! Ugh, I'm so freaking confused.

And to add to the confusion, I'm swept away again. One second, I'm staring at Amy and Melody.

The next… I'm on my back. Far from the Doctor. The 10th Doctor. In the brown suit. Staring into the black eyes of Davros.

"Lily!" the Doctor cries.

I look around, quickly. Rose. Behind me, Mickey, Jackie, Martha, and Jack. Holding their arms up in surrender. Daleks everywhere.

Well…this isn't the Tardis.

"What is this trickery?" a red Dalek intones. "That one was on the Tardis!"

Rolling to my knees, I lift up my left wrist. "Vortex manipulator. It took me away." Then, rethinking. "I couldn't save Donna. I'm sorry." Total lies, obviously. But needed.

Even if the look on the Doctor's face just broke my heart.

"The final prophesy is in place," Davros said, wheeling himself forward. "The Doctor and his children all gathered as witnesses. Supreme Dalek... the time has come!"

I'm really confused. Oh, right… everyone threatened to kill all the Daleks or something. The Doctor thinks he's turned everyone into monsters. I think.

"Now," Davros says, pointing upwards. "Detonate the Reality Bomb!"


	49. 17:  A Good Man Goes to Journey's End 7

**Dedicated to my new internet best friend Writless, for reading the beginning of this and convincing me that wasn't a complete piece of crap.  
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**A Good Man Goes To Journey's End**

**Part Seven**

Is it sad that I really want to ask someone what the Reality Bomb is?

Because, well, as many times as I have seen this episode, with everything that has been going on today and with how long it's been since I've actually watched this episode, I have no idea what that is. It's not good, obviously, totally getting that. But… well, I'm a bit confused.

"Activate planetary alignment field!" Red Dalek, I assume Supreme Dalek, gives the command. "Universal reality detonation in two-hundred rels!"

Ohh… Universal reality detonation? That sounds very, very bad…

The Doctor is glued to the spot, but his terror and desperation is evident. "You can't, Davros! Just listen to me! Just STOP!"

Davros roars in laughter, sending a shiver down my spine. I don't think I have every heard something so evil, so insane, so full of malice. Not even the Master. "Nothing can stop the detonation! Nothing! And no one!"

Famous last words, buddy.

Whoop. Whoop. Whoop.

See? See! This that's why you never say things like that!

Beaming, I turn to face the sound, that amazing sound. I'm so happy the Doctor leaves the brakes on. Otherwise, we would never be able to hear her.

The Tardis.

"But that's…" the Doctor says, confused, thrown. Briefly, the Doctor and I meet eyes. I smile wider, laughing in a "I've completely lost my marbles" kinda way.

Maniacal laughter, high pitch. Dalek Caan. That oversized booger with tentacles.

Davros stares as the Tardis begins to materialize. "Impossible."

The Tardis is shining. The door opens. The Metacrisis is framed by blinding backlight.

"Brilliant…" Jack says, awed.

I glance over at the shocked Davros. "Oh, forgot to mention. I lied."

The Metacrisis rushes forward, carrying some sort of big gun in his hands. I swear to god, time has slowed down. The Metacrisis aims the gun at Davros.

I gasp and cough suddenly. A tiny trickle of orange light sparkles out of my mouth. One thought enters my brain.

No. It's not a thought. It's an action.

I run.

I jump in front of the Metacrisis.

"Don't!" the Doctor shouts.

I don't even have time to wonder why I'm doing this. Or to wonder why my back is on fire.

I fall. The Metacrisis catches me. The gun flies off to the side, useless. Somewhere in the distance, I hear the Doctor scream.

"Activate holding cell," Davros orders.

I peer up into the astonished face of the Metacrisis.

"Why did you do that?" he demands, slowly setting me on the ground.

"I don't know…" I wince. The pain in my back is fading. I blink back tears. "I wasn't thinking."

"You can't just…"

But he's interrupted.

Donna runs out of the Tardis, scooping up the gun. "Doctor! I've got it! But I don't know what to do!"

My hand flies to my mouth, muffling a scream. Davros shoots Donna with electricity. She flies back, so far, hitting the ground with a thud that makes me flinch. And that flinch makes my back spasm.

Not just my back… my whole body is starting to spasm.

"DONNA!" the Doctor screams.

Oh god, I think, twitching on the ground. Oh please. Please let her be all right. Please let her become the Doctor Donna. Please don't let my interference ruin everything!

"Are you all right, Donna?" the Doctor pleads.

No answer.

Tears prickle at the edge of my eyes. Please! Please, please, please…

"Destroy the weapon!" Davros orders.

A Dalek fires at the gun. It explodes into sparks and fire.

"I was wrong about your warriors, Doctor," Davros continues, pleased. "They are pathetic."

The Doctor and I share a look. His eyes are pleading me. He wants to know that everything is going to be ok. But I can't promise that. Because I might have made things worse.

My eyelids are so heavy…

"How comes there're two of him?" Rose asks.

"Human biological metacrisis," I answer, my voice hollow, barely above a whisper.

"Never mind that!" the Doctor spits. "Now we've got no way of stopping the Reality Bomb.

The Supreme Dalek says, "Detonation in twenty rels! Nineteen…"

"Stand witness, Time Lord," Davros says. "Stand witness, Humans." I force my eyes open. An image appears above us, displaying the planets. "Your strategies have failed, your weapons are useless, and... oh - the end of the universe is come."

"Nine... eight... seven... Six…"

The world is getting fuzzy. I try to sit up, but my body goes slack. The Metacrisis gathers me up, bracing my upper half. My head lolls against his shoulder.

The tingling is turning into fire. But I can't move.

Donna slowly pops her head up from behind a control panel. She's ok! Oh my god! She's ok! Oh, please, please, please let the time line continue as it's supposed to! I promise I will never interfere again! If I live through this.

"Five... four... Three…"

Oh my god… oh yes! YES! She's reaching for a button!

"Two…"

My eyes close and my body goes completely slack. I'm falling. Falling into a hole of time and forever. Blackness everywhere. Nothing.

But then a hand reaches for me. I grasp it.

River Song smiles at me.

"One…"

My eyes open.

I'm completely alert.

I whip my head back to the screen. It disappears. An alarm, like the most annoying alarm clock in history, starts buzzing.

The Metacrisis lets me go. I jump to my feet, turning my attention back to Donna.

"What?" the Metacrisis asks, puzzled. I don't know if he's talking about me or Donna.

She's smiling.

"Oh... closing all Z-Neutrino relay loops using an internalized synchronous back-feed reversal loop!" She flicks a switch. "That button there!"

She's confident. She's quirky. She's saving the universe.

She's the Doctor Donna.

And I'm… not just Lily anymore.

"System in shutdown!" A Dalek exclaims.

"Detonation negative!" another adds.

The Supreme Dalek looks like it might explode. "Explain! Explain! EXPLAIN!"

The Doctor doesn't know what to think. "Donna, you can't even change a plug!"

She just grins. "Do you wanna bet, Time Boy?"

"You will suffer for this!" Davros warns.

Cocking my head to the side, I turn to face Davros. I smile as his own weapon is used against him. His body convulses with electricity. He's shrieking.

"Oh…!" Donna says. "Bioelectric dampening field with a retrogressive arc inversion."

I turn to her. "Brilliant," I say. "Now, can you get me out of here, dear?"

Davros interrupts us. "Exterminate her!"

"Exterminate! Exterminate!"

I roll my eyes and cross my arms. This is starting to get boring. Less with the talking, more with the fighting, please. I'm not exactly one to sit around on the sidelines, after all. Not when there's action afoot.

"Weapons non-functional!"

The Daleks are in a panic and I can't help but laugh.

"What?" Donna teases. "Macrotransmission of a K-filter wavelength blocking Dalek weaponry in a self-replicating energy blindfold matrix?"

The Doctor is amazed. "How did you work that out? You…"

The Metacrisis shares a smile with me. "Time Lord. Part Time Lord." He lifts me into his arms and spins me around. I give a whoop.

Donna shrugs a shoulder, dainty. "Part Human! Oh, yes! That was a three-way biological metacrisis."

"Three way?" the Doctor's head whips to the Metacrisis and myself.

The Metacrisis sets me down and I smirk.

"Part Doctor. Part Donna." Donna's eyes meet mine. "And part Lily."

We share a knowing look. She knows what's inside me. And that I'm not exactly me right now. Well… I am me. I'm more me than I've been in a very long time.

The Doctor stares at her, then at me, then at the Metacrisis. "The Doctor-Donna... just like the Ood said, remember? They saw it coming! The Doctor Donna."

"Anytime now, Doctor Donna," I say, turning back to Davros. My arms relax into a fighting stance, ready to pluck my pistols at the slightest provocation.

"Holding cells deactivated," Donna chirps. "And seal the Vault. Well, don't just stand there, you skinny boys in suits - get to work!"

The Metacrisis and the Doctor share a surprised look, but then dash to do as she says.

"Stop them! Get them away from the controls!" Davros orders.

I slip a pistol out of it's holder and point it at him. I cock my head to the side. "I think you should stay where you are, Davros."

"And… spin!" Donna says.

The Daleks around us start spinning in circles.

But I really only have eyes for Davros.

"What is this treachery?" he asks. The giant blue eye and the two dark holes in his face stare at me. "Who are you to pull a gun on me?"

"Help me. Help me." A Dalek circles past us.

"I am Lillian Meyers," I say. There is no recognition in Davros's face. I slowly crank a dial on the gun, increasing the effectiveness of the beam, should I choose to shoot. "And I am also River Song." The voice is no longer mine. It's deeper, the vowels are more rounded.

His jaw drops.

"How can this be?" Davros asks.

I shrug, the action not mine, but my voice is back. "I'm wondering that myself."

"What is happening?" the Supreme Dalek says. "Explain!"

"Come on then, boys," Donna yells, excited. "We've got twenty-seven planets to send home. Activate magnetron."

"Stop this at once!" Davros shouts.

I step closer to him. "Do you not see this gun in your face? I will shoot you if you don't shut your mouth."

But half that sentence is lost.

Because I'm back on Demon's Run.

And I'm pointing the gun at the 11th Doctor's thunderous face.

I instantly put my arm down.

"Sorry, sweetie," I say, stuffing the gun back into the holster. "I was just about to shoot Davros." I give him what I hope is an innocent smile.

He looks me over, calculating. Oh, I love that look. The thinking look. One of my favorites.

"Well… it's a good thing you're here now."

I take a breath and look around me. Small room. Lots of computery things. Big blue man at the controls. Silurian behind me. Vastra. The Doctor has his arms crossed as he regards me.

I ignore him, focusing instead on what's on the screen. I don't understand most of it, but I can tell that they are files. On Melody.

Is this bad for time? Two Rivers, one place? Well, TECHNICALLY, there's a baby Melody and an imprint of what River once was. I mean, it is River but it also isn't. Because it's also me.

It's weird. Because I know she's here. I can feel her inside me and I can feel her taking control. But… My thoughts are my own.

"You're not you right now, are you, Lily?" the Doctor asks.

My eyes flick over to him. "What makes you say that?"

"I know that smirk. That's not Lily's smirk."

I glance at Dorium and Vastra. They're both very confused.

The Doctor lowers his voice. "Are you in a state to help us?" he asks me.

"Of course," I drawl, turning around, straightening his bowtie. "If anything, I'll be of even more help now." My body curls into his, flirting. His eyes widen in confusion, but a flirtatious smile betrays his feelings. His hands grip my hips, possibly of their own volition.

Vastra interrupts us. "We don't have time for this. I have a question. A simple one. Is Melody human?"

The Doctor immediately whips her head to her. "Sorry, what? Of course she is!" He laughs and turns back to me. "Completely human, isn't that right, Lily?"

I don't say anything. I try to keep my face as neutral as possible.

He gives me a curious look, as if I'm betraying him. He lets me go.

"They've been scanning her since she was born," Dorium says, typing something at the controls. "And I think they found what they were looking for."

I turn my attention to the screen. The one good thing about River having control of the body right now is that she's way better at lying than I am. So I don't react when I see the image of Melody's DNA.

"Human DNA," the Doctor says, stepping closer.

Vastra is beside him. "Look closer. Human plus."

The Doctor looks at me. I raise an eyebrow.

"Specifically...human plus Time Lord."

"But she's human!" the Doctor exclaims. "She's Amy and Rory's daughter. This is rubbish. Lily, tell them." He crosses his arms, not looking at any of us.

Which is good. Because, despite the River orientation of my body right now, I'm pretty sure the guilt is written all over my face.

Vastra, thank god, speaks up before I do. "You told me about your people. They became what they did through prolonged exposure to the time vortex. The untempered schism…"

"Over billions of years! It didn't just happen!" He spins back to us.

"So how close is she? Could she even regenerate?"

"No, no!" But then he studies my face. "I don't think so."

"You don't sound so sure," Vastra says.

He turns to her. "Because I don't understand how this happened!"

"Think about it, Doctor," I say. He turns back to me. "Think about the wedding."

He gives me a strange look. "Well, I was little pre-occupied with the universe rebooting—long story—and having legs again!"

I step towards him, putting my hands on his shoulders, looking deep into those light eyes. "Melody started in the Tardis. In the Time Vortex."

He scoffs, breaking away from me, pacing. "No, no, impossible! It's all running about, sexy fish vampires and blowing up stuff. And Rory wasn't even there at the beginning. Then he was dead, then he didn't exist, then he was plastic, then the universe started again. So technically the first time they were on the Tardis together, in this version of reality, was on their…" He stops. He pears at me over his shoulder, gulping.

I just nod.

"On their what?" Vastra asks.

"On their wedding night."

"I'm sorry, Doctor," I say as he starts pacing, clearly agitated. "It's not like I could tell you!"

"Doesn't make sense!" he exclaims. "You can't just cook yourself a Time Lord."

I try to reach for his shoulder, but he snatches it back.

"Of course not," Vastra says. "But you gave them one hell of a start and they've been working very hard ever since."

Dorium chimes in. "And yet they gave in so easily. Does this not that bother anyone else?"

I throw a hand to my heart. I'm so caught up in the moment, I've forgotten. The Headless Monks. They're about to wipe everyone out. Well, not everyone, but, anyway, there is about to be this huge battle.

I have to warn them.

I take one look at the Doctor. No, I shouldn't tell him. He needs to be up here, not down there. He's the mastermind… he's not the fighter. I'm the fighter. I get that now. That must be why River Song is inside me. To make me more brave.

I should have told them that Melody isn't real and that she's someplace very, very far away.

But there isn't time for words. There's never enough time. Ironic, isn't it?

"Why even do it?" the Doctor asks. "Even if you could get your hands on a brand new Time Lord, what for?"

"A weapon," I say.

He's confused, unsure. "Why would a Time Lord be a weapon?"

For a second, I wonder why he isn't asking me more. Why he's not trying to address River. Oh. Wait. Of course. He doesn't know that River is Melody. That hasn't happened yet.

"Well...they've seen you," Vastra says carefully.

"Me?" the Doctor sits down, stunned.

"You're right," I say, turning to Dorium and Vastra. "This was too easy. We need to get back to the others."

I cast a look over my shoulder, but the Doctor is staring into nothing.

"Me?" he questions.

I kneel in front of him. "There was nothing you could have done differently," I say, taking his hands. He's not looking at me. His mind is elsewhere. "This was meant to happen, my love." Not my words. River's words. But he doesn't hear them. I caress his cheek then kiss his forehead. And then I get up and turn away.

I have to leave him to his thoughts. He can't be part of this battle.

Head raised, I jog ahead of Vastra and Dorium, winding through corridors, making my way to the hangar.

Um… how do I know the layout so well? There aren't any signs that tell me where to go, but I find the hangar easily.

"Lily!" Amy squeals as she spots me. I stop jogging when I reach her and Rory. She's cradling baby Melody in her arms. "You're back!"

"We have a problem," I say, only slightly out of breath.

"What?" Rory asks, taking a protective step towards Amy.

I swallow. "This was too easy," I plead both of them with my eyes. I bite my lip as I look down at the baby. The Flesh.

Vastra and Dorium approach just as the a light, a force field, appears around the Tardis.

I whip my pistols out of the holsters, waiting, ready.

"What's that?" Amy asks.

"Force field," I say, walking in a slow circle, guns out, searching for trouble. God, why can't I see them?

Vastra confirms my comment by trying to touch the light around the Tardis.

Loud banging.

The Monks are chanting.

"And those are the doors." A female cleric says. What was her name? "Locking."

The baby is starting to cry.

Wincing, I shove one of the guns back into the holster. To Rory, I say, "We need to hide them." I cock my head towards Amy and Melody.

"Is that the Monks?" he asks.

"Oh, dear god…" Dorium cries. "That's the attack prayer."

"Rory!" I command. "Amy! With me, come on."

Rory puts his arm around Amy and Melody. I lead them away from the middle of the hangar, glancing over my shoulder. The corners of the room light up. The Monks are charging their swords. I fall back, nodding Rory ahead of me, taking the rear. Just in case.

"Rory, no offense to the others, but you let them all die first, OK?" Amy says. She's hunkering down behind some metal crates.

I glance over my shoulder at the couple and smile.

"You're so Scottish," Rory says. He kisses her, then Melody's head.

"We have to go," I tell him.

He looks up at me, nodding. Amy peaks from behind a crate.

"Lily!" she calls as I turn to leave. I look back at her. "Do you remember what you said to me in the forest with the weeping angels?"

I shake my head. "That hasn't happened for me yet."

She smiles. "Then you'll be fine."

"Centurion! Lily!" Vastra calls. "You're needed!"

Rory gives Amy one last kiss. Then we leave.

"Do you know anything about this?" Rory asks me as we make our way back to the group.

"About what?" I stare straight ahead.

He grabs my arm, stopping me, forcing me to look at him. "This isn't the time for games, Lillian. We're talking about my daughter here. Something tells me you haven't been quite honest with me."

I look up at the ceiling. "Rory, this isn't the time."

"You're always saying that. This IS the time!"

He desperation breaks my heart. I place a hand on his shoulder. "Rory," I say. River takes control. I think she knows that I don't want to lie to him anymore. "This is The Battle of Demons Run. The Doctor's darkest hour. He'll rise higher than ever before and then fall so much further."

He lets go of my arm. Something akin to suspicion and enlightenment battle in his eyes. "You're not the first person to say that to me today."

I smile. "I know."

But before he can say anything else, I break away from him and run back to the group.

"We don't have to fight," Dorium is saying. "I'm friends to the Monks, they know me."

"Yeah," Rory says, nearing anger. But he's looking at me. "And they know you just sold them out to the Doctor."

"Oh, they'll understand," Dorium waves the concerns off. "It's only me, only silly old me." He walks towards shadows, towards the Monks. "You understand, don't you?"

I draw my other pistol. My hands are shaking. I gulp, closing my eyes, ignoring everyone shouting at Dorium to get back here. Ignoring the sound of his head thumping to the floor. I center myself, even as my skin wants to jump off my body.

"The child!" Vastra shouts. "Protect the child at all costs!"

I open my eyes.

I aim. At Davros.


	50. 17:  A Good Man Goes to Journey's End 8

**.17.**

**A Good Man Goes To Journey's End**

**Part Eight**

My. People come and go so quickly here.

Well, I suppose I come and go so quickly here. Whatever. Sentiment's the same.

On the other side of Davros is Mickey, pointing a wicked looking gun at Davros as well. If he's at all surprised about my coming and going, he doesn't say anything. He just gives me a quick glance before focusing back on Davros.

"Part Donna, Part Lily… part Doctor. And I got the best bit of the Doctor," Donna is saying. "I got his mind."

I focus on the group near the controls. The Doctor, Donna, Jack, Rose, Jackie, Sarah Jane Smith, and Martha are huddled together. The Doctor is sonicing a palmful of wires. I'm not sure if any other them have noticed that I'm here.

Davros, in his misery, hasn't noticed that I've come or gone. I guess the good guys saving the day weighs heavier on his mind than a little thing like me.

Wait… sorry, part Lily?

"What did you get of me?" I ask, dropping my gun, tucking it back into the holster. "And what did I get of you? Any of you?"

Donna smirks while the Doctor is confused and the Metacrisis looks away. "I got a bit of her memories," she says.

Her mem… ohhh….

OHHH! Oh! Not good!

"Memories?" I tear off, running up to her, grabbing her arms. "Who's memories?"

"The Other Soul, of course," Donna, still bright and charming, taps her temple. "Just bits and pieces, nothing much. Though I do feel as though, given the chance, I could shoot an entire room of Daleks bent over backwards. Amazing, isn't it?"

"But nothing… no facts… nothing from the future?"

She shakes her head. "No, nothing like that."

I drop her arms, sighing in relief. "Oh, thank god!" I put a hand to my heart. The Doctor is watching me, curious still, but also… searching for something.

"Why, is there something that I shouldn't know?"

I scratch the back of my head. "No. Of course not. Well… yes, I suppose so. I mean, there are things that I know that would be detrimental if you were to know, but if you don't know them, then everything should be fine and I'm babbling aren't I?"

Jack snorts. "Think I know what Lily got from the Doctor…"

"Oi!" I shout, spinning to him, pointing at him. "Shut it!"

"And there's Donna," the Doctor jokes.

I cover my mouth with my hand, refusing to take the bate.

Sarah Jane speaks up. "So there's four of you, then?"

"Four Doctors," Rose questions.

"I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now," Jack says, mind clearly distracted.

"You're so unique that the timelines were converging on you," the Doctor says to Donna. "Human Being with a Time Lord brain." He turns to me again, thoughtful. "But you still don't make sense. You should have gotten something besides a bit of our personalities…"

I shrug. "I don't feel any different. Well, maybe the movie _Inception_ makes more sense…"

Davros swivels, interrupting the conversation. "But you promised me, Dalek Caan. Why did you not foresee this?"

Insane laughter sends a shudder up my spine.

"Oh, I think he did," the Doctor says. "Something's been manipulating the timelines for ages... getting Donna Noble and Lillian Meyers to the right place at the right time."

Dalek Caan's tentacles are twitching. "This would always have happened. I only helped, Doctor."

Davros is stunned. "You... betrayed the Daleks?"

"I SAW the Daleks. What we have done throughout time and space. I saw the truth of us, Creator, and I decreed 'no more'."

Well… I suppose there is such thing as a smart Dalek.

But that thought is immediately followed with something worse.

"I will descend to the Vault!" The Supreme Dalek. The big red guy. He floats down from above. "Davros, you have betrayed us."

Davros moves forward. "It was Dalek Caan!"

Oh, sure, because you can totally reason with Daleks. Good job, man.

"The Vault will be purged! You will all be exterminated!"

I jump back as the Supreme Dalek fires at the center column where the Metacrisis was working. Sparks shower over me, but I'm otherwise unscathed.

In another of those moves that I'm now starting to think are because of River, I roll to my knees and fire at the Supreme Dalek. The beam explodes against the red casing, causing little more than a giant burn.

Well shoot. Next time, make sure the setting is right, River.

"Like I was saying, feel this!" Jack shouts. A beam of pure light destroys the Supreme Dalek. Jack then offers me a hand to help me stand. I place mine in his, grinning up at him.

"Nice shootin', Tex," I drawl.

He smiles and winks.

"Oh, we've lost the magnatron!" the Doctor exclaims. I spin to find him inspecting the column, then checking a screen. "And there's only one planet left oh…" He laughs, running back around the column and towards the Tardis. "Guess which one. Look, we can use the Tardis!"

He runs inside.

And that's when everything really starts going to hell.

"The prophesy must complete," Dalek Caan chirps.

"Don't listen to him!" Davros insists.

Oh. Ohhhhhh.

"I have seen the end of everything Dalek, and you must make it happen, Doctor."

I whip back, eyes wide. The Metacrisis meets my gaze and gives me a sad smile.

"He's right," he says. His voice is soft, almost wistful. "Because with or without a Reality Bomb, this Dalek Empire's big enough to slaughter the cosmos." He straightens his back, mind set. "They've got to be stopped!"

He knows. He knows he has to do this, but he also knows that he shouldn't.

"Just- just wait for the Doctor," Donna stammers.

He looks at her. His face has become almost wild. "I am the Doctor." He flips down a giant lever. "Maximising Dalekanium power feeds. Blasting them BACK!"

All around us, Daleks explode. Screaming.

The world rocks as the Daleks are destroyed.

The Doctor rushes out of the Tardis.

"What've you done!" he exclaims.

The Metacrisis doesn't look at him. His voice is sad again. "Fulfilling the prophesy."

The world gives one more big quake, booming around us. Rubble falls from the ceiling. I stagger, trying to catch my balance again.

"Do you know what you've done?" the Doctor shouts. He's so angry. Angrier than I've ever heard him. "Now, get in the Tardis! Everyone! All of you inside, run!"

The Metacrisis waits, not rushing in as he's supposed to. I start running, protecting my head from falling debris. As I pass him, the Metacrisis puts an arm over me, pushing me forward. I think he might be trying to help me.

We stumble to a stop one we're safe inside the Tardis. I straighten, brushing dust off my shoulders. I grab the Metacrisis's arm before he can pass me, forcing him to turn to me.

"Why did you do it?" I ask. "I know you know this was going to happen. You could have stopped it."

He shakes his head. "It had to happen. It was fixed. If the Daleks survived, who know what would have happened to the universe."

He's right, of course. It did have to happen. But he doesn't have to like it.

I release his arm, following him up to the console. I take a place between him and Sarah Jane.

The Doctor runs back up to the console. "And! Off we go!"

He pulls a lever. The Tardis lurches. I lose my grip on the console and stumble back. My legs, unbalanced, give away.

I land on my back.

In battle.

I don't even have time to take a breath. River takes control.

I aim. I shoot. I hit the mark. Over and over. Sparks are flying. The monks are chanting. Metal against electrified metal. Saving Rory. Keeping them from finding Amy, from getting Melody.

Melody.

Oh… Melody isn't Melody. Melody is Flesh.

Melody is inside me, though, and she's fighting to get out.

With quick, graceful moves, I snatch up a fallen sword from a dead monk, shooting a monk as I slide on my knees. I jump up, bending to the left to avoid an attack while slicing to the right. The monk goes down, but I don't even hear the thump of the dead. I shoot a monk reaching out towards the army girl who is now on our side. I wish I remembered her name. The red energy that emanated from the monks hand fizzles into nothing.

The army girl looks at me with relieved eyes.

I smile at her, jogging towards her. "Since you're the only one here with real military experience," I say, putting my back to hers. "Back to back. Take out more that way."

"Aye," she grunts, shooting off a round for every word. "But I'm almost out of ammo."

I pull the extra alpha meson pistol from my belt and toss it over to her. "Setting 16." I shoot at a monk. "What's your name again?" I ask as a monk runs into my blade.

"Lorna," she says.

"Nice to meet you Lorna. DUCK!" I bend backwards, taking out at least five monks as I shoot in a circle. "Thank you!" I straighten. "I'm Lily. OW!" I cover the upper portion of my left arm. Someone shot it. I frown at the blood on my hand. "I liked this shirt!" I shoot willy nilly, taking out three more monks.

Lorna and I stay fighting that way, moving in a constant circle, keeping an eyes out, protecting each other. My left arm tingles where it was hit and my left hand is wet with blood, but I keep shooting and slicing.

Then I hear it.

"RORY!" Amy screams. Blood curdling.

Rory stops mid battle and runs to where she is hiding.

"Cover him," I order Lorna. We fall in step, side to side now, walking backwards as Rory runs to his wife.

As the final monk goes down, I shiver, coughing, hunched over. A fine spray of gold dust swirls out of my mouth, glittering amongst the smoke and sparks around us. I reach towards it, running my fingers through the cool particles.

They absorb back into my hand.

I drop the gun. I fall to my knees, panting, eyes squeezed shut. The wound on my left arm burns.

"Lily?" Lorna asks.

I open my eyes again, blinking at the smoke. "I'm fine." I whisper, throat sore. "I'm… me again."

Because I am. Oh, there's a little tickle at the back of my head that tells me that I'm not completely alone, but for now, I'm in control. Not River. I'm Lily again.

Lorna watches me, confused. I offer her a small smile, which, come to think of it, seems really silly giving I'm laying in a battleground, but whatever. I'm alive.

"AMY!" The Doctor bellows. I turn toward the stomping footsteps. The Doctor stops in the middle of the room. His mouth moves, as if he's repeating Amy's name.

I slowly test my legs, getting back up, Lorna helping me.

We watch as the Doctor and Rory meet.

"Yeah," Rory says, quiet, devastated. "We know."

I let go of Lorna and walk towards the Doctor, becoming stronger with every step. He's watching Rory and Commander Strax, the latter of who is propped against some cases.

"It's strange," Strax says as I pass him. "I have often dreamed of dying in combat. I'm not enjoying it as much as I'd hoped."

I reach the Doctor, but he's still looking past me, even as I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, Strax, don't give up," Rory says.

I take the Doctor's chin in my hand and force him to look down at me.

"It's all right, I've had a good life. I'm nearly 12."

The Doctor's eyes run all over my face. He's full of so much sorrow right now, I want to cry for him.

"Listen to me. You'll be back on your feet in no time. You're a warrior!"

The Doctor notices the bloodstain on my sleeve.

"Rory... I'm a nurse."

"What happened?" the Doctor whispers, running his fingers lightly over the soiled area.

I shrug my right shoulder. "Just a flesh wound," I say. I gently poke at it. "I mean, it doesn't even…" I pull the fabric apart so that I can look at it. "Hurt…"

There's nothing there. The skin, though blood stained, is completely healed, not even a scar, as if nothing happened.

I look back up at the Doctor. He's not surprised, but he's also not happy.

"How is that possible?" I ask him.

His lips press into a line as he regards me a second. Then he takes me by the shoulders and kisses my forehead.

But he never answers the question.

Because he's noticed Amy now, sitting on a case near the Tardis with Jenny, Vastra's maid or whatever. The Doctor brushes around me, head down, wringing his hands as he walks over to them. I follow him.

"So they took her anyway," Amy says, crying, staring at the floor. "All this was for nothing."

Rory comes up next to me as Amy stands, staring at the Doctor.

"I am so... Sorry." The Doctor moves forward as if to hug her, but she jerks back.

"Amy," Jenny says. "It's not his fault."

She just stares at him a moment, but then Amy looks away. "I know, I know." She turns away and Rory rushes to her, comforting her as she starts to sob.

I take the Doctor's hand. He looks down at our hands, then back up at me. If possible, he's even more devastated. It breaks my heart.

I pull him to me, wrapping my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he says, voice inches from crying. "I didn't know."

I looks at him. "I know, Doctor. I know."

The guilt is almost killing me, because I did know. I knew and I did nothing to stop it.

Sniffing, I release the Doctor, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Doctor," Vastra says from behind me. I turn to her, wiping my nose. Next to the Silurian is Lorna, my partner in crime. I give the army girl a watery smile. "There's someone who wants to speak to you."

I turn to the Doctor. "That's Lorna," I say, smiling for real now. "She helped us, warned us." I look at her again, alive. So alive. I almost laugh in relief. "We teamed up together and took a bunch of them out. Back to back, right, Lorna?"

She smiles, looking for all the world like a little girl. But she doesn't say anything.

"Hello, Lorna," the Doctor says, forcing a smile. He hold out a hand to her.

She takes his hand, ever the solider. "Doctor."

"You helped my friends," he says. "Thank you."

"I met you once," she blurts out, losing a bit of her soldier composure. "In the Gamma Forests. You don't remember me, I'm sure."

He regards her a second, then clears his throat. "Well, you know how time travel is. That hasn't happened for me yet." The light in her eyes loses some of it's brightness.

I step in. "Doctor," I say, hesitant. "You… might not like what I'm about to tell you."

He turns to me now. "Can it wait then?"

"No," I shake my head. I go over to Lorna, take her hands in mine. "I did… something that I shouldn't have, not really."

"What?" he asks, curious now.

Lorna looks up at me, just as confused as everyone else around us.

"I saved her," I blurt out, spinning back toward the Doctor. "She didn't… she wasn't… Lorna was supposed to die," I stammer. She gasps. "And I saw it, just in time. I saw the monk prepare to kill her. And I killed the monk instead." I turn to her, almost giddy with both guilt and happiness. "I made so many other mistakes, let so many other things happen, I had to save her, Doctor. It wasn't even a consideration to let her die. Not when I could save her."

"What other things?" the Doctor asks, an edge of anger creeping into his voice.

I spin back to him. "You brought me here to change things that couldn't be changed! This is the one thing I could change!"

He regards me a second and I see it dawn on him. "You knew. You knew the entire time."

I swallow. "I couldn't change it."

"Yes you could have!" he shouts. "You could have helped me save Melody or at least told me that she was Flesh!"

"I couldn't!"

"Why?" he stomps right up to me and points in my face. "Why couldn't you?"

I shake my head. "You're not thinking straight," I insists. "If you just take some time to calm down…"

"I will NOT CALM DOWN!" he shouts. Everything goes completely silent and I feel every alive eye on me. Lorna has backed away from us, so I'm facing the Oncoming Storm alone. "You should have told me what would happen here!"

"Would you have listened?"

"Yes!" He grabs my shoulders, squeezing hard. I flinch back, but he's holding me too tight. "We could have saved her! No one had to die!"

"She's not dead!" I shout. "Melody is very much alive! And she stays that way for a long time!" A flash, like lightening and thunder. "Right, River?"

Because there she is, behind his shoulder. River Song. In the flesh.

No wonder the River inside me retreated so quickly. She knew this one was coming at any moment.

"Well, then, soldier, how goes the day?" River asks.

The Doctor releases me, turning towards her. "Where the hell have you been? Every time you've asked, I have been there. Where the hell were you today?"

River shakes her head. "I couldn't have prevented this."

He gets right into her face. "I'm hearing a lot of that today. You could have tried." He turns, stalking away from her.

But her words stop him. "And so, sweetie, could you." River dismisses him, looking at Amy and Rory instead. "I know you're not all right. But hold tight, Amy, because you're going to be."

"You think I wanted this?" The Doctor points around the room. "I didn't do this. This... this wasn't me!" He stomps back up to her.

"This was exactly you," River insists. "All this, all of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name? Doctor? The word for healer and wise man, throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word 'Doctor' means mighty warrior. How far you've come." She saunters around him, to stand at his back. He doesn't turn to her. "And now they've taken a child... the child of your best friends... and they're going to turn her into a weapon, just to bring you down. And all this, my friend…in fear of you."

He turns to her now, slowly walks right up to her. "Who are you?"

She just stares at him. And then, as if playing a game. "Oh, look, your cot! Haven't seen that in a very long while." She backs up to it.

He pursues her. "No, no, you tell me. Tell me... who you are."

She takes his hand. "I am telling you. Can't you read?"

There's a moment when he just stares at the cradle.

I take a couple of steps towards him, keeping a big distance around the cradle, so that I can see his face.

It lights up with understanding.

"Hello!" he says, almost giggling.

She laughs. "Hello!"

He laughs now, looking over his shoulder at Amy and Rory. "But... but that means…"

"It does, yes."

He looks up at me now. And the anger is gone. Gone as if it were never there to begin with. "Well… I wasn't expecting…"

"Yes," she says, offhandedly.

…Uhh… this exchange isn't going exactly how I remembered it.

He looks over his shoulder at Amy and Rory again, then looks back up at me. It's a different look now. A little cautious, but mostly happy. Then his eyes flick back to River. "How do I look?" he asks, straightening his coat and bow tie.

She shakes her head slowly. "Amazing."

"I'd better be," he says, looking back at me again.

She laughs again. "Yes, you'd better be."

Grinning, he spins. "Vastra and Jenny, till the next time. Lorna, nice to meet you and thanks again. Rory and Amy, I'll find your daughter and on my life, she will be safe. River, get them all home." His hand gestures vaguely and, laughing again, he nearly skips up to me, taking my hand. "Lily, my dear, come with me."

Befuddled, I let him pull me to the Tardis.

"Doctor?" Rory asks.

With his other hand, the Doctor pulls out the sonic screwdriver, pointing it at the force field. It bursts in sparks and he sticks the screwdriver back in his coat pocket.

"No!" Amy exclaims. "Where are you going? No!"

The Doctor snaps. The door to the Tardis opens, and he gently pushes me inside.

I stumble a bit, turning around to see his head sticking out the Tardis. He chuckles, pointing at I assume River, then slams the door shut.

"Now!" he says, clapping his hands together, running to the console. "Off we go!" He pulls a lever and the Tardis starts to dematerialize.

I walk up to the console slowly, confused.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"To find Melody, of course!" he says, running around the console now. "I have a few places in mind. Have you ever been to the Gamma Forests? I think she might be there at some point, judging from Lorna. Or maybe back to Florida, as that's the last known place Melody was… well, I think so, anyway." He spins in a circle, then stops running around. He takes in my confused face. Then he pushes another button and the Tardis stops moving. Well, not really. There's a vague floating feeling. "But those are all big picture stuff. Right now we're in the Time Vortex. How are you holding up?" He folds his arms, crosses his ankles, and leans against he console.

"Confused…" I say. "I thought we were in a fight?"

"Oh, pish," he says, waving a hand. "I understand now. Melody and River are the same person, did you know that?"

I nod. "Yesss…"

He drops his arms. "You had to do it, Lily," he walks towards me. "I know that. I just wasn't thinking straight. You had to let it happen. It was fixed. It was wrong of me to be cross." He takes my hands in his. "Can you forgive me?"

I nod again, but can't really find words right now.

He looks me up and down. "River is inside you," he says. "So she's important to me. You were right. We have to follow the established time line. We can't let anything deviate. Had I known River is Amy and Rory's child, I would have treated you differently back there. For that I am sorry." He presses a kiss to my hands.

My mouth opens and closes. "About River…" I trail off, not knowing how to ask the question.

His head cocks to the side. "What about her?"

"Is she…? Didn't you and her…?" I sigh and take a step back. He releases my hands. "I thought there was supposed to be something romantic there."

"Romantic?" he questions, as if the word has a horrible flavor. "Between River and me?"

"Well, yes," I say. "In the… in my world… you and her…"

He laughs once. "Romance between _River Song_ and _me_?"

I glare over at him. "That's how it's supposed to be, isn't it?"

"No!" he laughs again. Then, seeing the anger on my face, he sobers. "No. River and I…no. There's… there's only one impossible girl in the universe for me."

My stomach does a little flip at the intense look in his eyes.

And then I gasp. And I'm covered in electricity. And I'm in a different Tardis.

Well, it's the same Tardis, technically. But it looks different. For all intensive purposes, it IS different.

Oh, I know what I mean!

And I'm really frustrated by it, because every time I get somewhere with the Doctor, the Universe decides, "HA! Sorry! Time to go back in time! No answers for you, missy."

I look around the Tardis. Donna. Jack. Rose, Mickey, and Jackie. Metacrisis. The Doctor and Sarah Jane are missing. So that can only mean one thing.

The Metacrisis notices me and comes over right away. "You missed all the fun."

I cock my head to the side, really looking at him. He's technically the Doctor. (Lots of technicalities today, isn't there?) Does he feel how the Doctor feels? Does the Doctor feel that way about me right now as he apparently does in the future?

"Six of us drove the Tardis," the Metacrisis is saying, hands in his pockets. "Brought the Earth back to where it belongs. Well… you know that already. Don't know why I'm telling you."

I take what just happened back there on Demon's Run and in the future Tardis and I tuck it away. I've gotten really good at doing that. "It's ok. Good to know things progressed how they should somewhere or when around here."

He raises an eyebrow. "Where did you keep disappearing to?"

"Demon's Run," I say, voice soft.

He nods. "Oh, right. Demon's run when a good man goes to war. Melody-slash-River. How did it go?"

I lean against a column. "I… saved Lorna." Of his confused look. "The soldier girl who was supposed to die."

He beams. "Good on you, love!" He frowns. "Since when do I call anyone 'love'? Reminds me too much of Spike in _Buffy the…_" He trails off, then reconsiders. "Well, that's knowledge I got from you. Am I really Scottish? Sorry, different subject. Back now. Continue."

"You're a little more like me than I originally thought," I say, holding back a giggle. "But I still don't know what I got out of the three way regeneration, which, by the way, sounds incredibly dirty and I'm never saying it like that again."

The Metacrisis fingers the drying blood on my sleeve. "Must have been a nasty cut to have bled like that."

I look down at the stain. "It's not as bad as it looks. It's healed already… oh." I look up at him. "It's completely healed. Not a scab or a scar. How is that possible?"

"I'm guessing," he says, folding his arms. "That you've somehow managed to internalize the regeneration energy and it healed you."

I nod, thinking. "I coughed regeneration energy earlier. When I touched it, it went back into my skin, like it was magnetized or something." I pause, watching the Doctor come back into the Tardis, sans Sarah Jane. "In fact, the first time I coughed the energy, River came forward, kinda taking over the instincts. And then when I coughed again, she retreated." As the Tardis starts to dematerialize again, I look up at the Metacrisis. "It's like it's both healing me and a gateway for River to take control. And I still haven't figure out how she got inside me to begin with."

The Metacrisis shrugs. "Neither have I. But good reasoning! Maybe you got a little bit of my mind as well."

I startle at that. "That's…" I glance over at Donna, who's talking a mile a minute to the Doctor. "That's not really a good thing, is it?"

The Metacrisis follows my gaze. "No. I suppose it's not."

Our moment is interrupted by the appearance of one Captain Jack Harkness. He bounds up to us, all smiles and flirting and, well, just plain existing.

"Excuse me," he says. He turns the smile onto the Metacrisis. "Mind if I speak with her alone for a minute?"

The Metacrisis looks from him to me, then shrugs. "Yeah, fine. But be good." He points at Jack, giving him a serious look, then trots away, back to the console with Rose and everyone else.

Jack turns that smile back tome, but it fades into something serious. "Remember what I said." He places his hands on my shoulders. "If you ever need me, I'm here for you, ok, sweetheart?"

I laugh a little. "Jack, you make is sound like something terrible is going to happen."

He doesn't join into my laughter.

I swallow.

"Be good," he says. He lifts my chin up and kisses me. Mouth closed. Sadly.

"Now, where's the fun in that?" I ask, teasing.

He grins. "There's my girl! I'll see you, Meyers."

"Bye, Jack," I wave. He, Martha, and the Doctor stroll out of the Tardis. I didn't expect Martha to say good-bye. I think she still hates me.

I take the moment by myself to breathe. Just… breathe.

My body is still buzzing with some adrenaline, but I'm really glad that it's over. Well… mostly over. There's just one last thing to do.

And as the Doctor comes back into the Tardis moments later, I know it's time to face it.

"There's time for one last trip," the Doctor says, rejoining everyone at the console. I follow suit, taking a place next to the Metacrisis and Jackie. "Dårlig Ulv Stranden."

The Metacrisis looks at me.

"Better known as…"

"Bad Wolf Bay," I whisper as the Tardis lurches into motion.

Minutes later, I follow everyone out of the Tardis, lagging behind, hands in my pockets. I step onto the sand, feel the salty breeze through my hair, trying to ignore the ramblings of Jackie Tyler.

"I was pregnant, do you remember?" Jackie is telling the Metacrisis. "Had a baby boy!"

"Ah, brilliant! What did you call him?"

"Doctor."

"…Really?"

"No, you plum. He's called Tony!"

Rose looks around, then realizes where she is. "Hold on, this is the parallel universe, right?"

"You're back home," the Doctor says.

Beside him, Donna adds. "And the walls of the world are closing again... now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It's dimension retroclosure." Donna looks behind her shoulder at me. "See, I really get that stuff now."

Rose is nearing tears. "No, but I spent all that time trying to find you, I'm not going back now!"

The Doctor walk toward her. I take his place next to Donna. "But you've got to," the Doctor says. "Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him." I look at the Metacrisis. He gives me a sad, small smile as the Doctor continues. "He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."

"You made me," the Metacrisis says, not very convincingly.

"Exactly, you were born in battle - full of blood and anger and revenge. Remind you of someone?" As he pauses, Rose looks almost tormented. "That's me. When we first met. And you made me better. And now you can do the same for him."

"But he's not you," Rose whispers.

"He needs you. That's very me."

I step forward. "It's not just that, Rose," I say. Everyone turns to me, surprised. Hell, I'm surprised I spoke up. But I keep going. "It's so much more than that. The Doctor… he's giving you the greatest gift that he can." I look up at the Metacrisis. The exact replica of the man I love. I didn't think of it before. I could have… no, I couldn't have. It has to be like this. "Tell her," I implore him.

"I look like him and I think like him…" the Metacrisis says as Rose turns to him. "Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except, I've only got one heart."

"Which means?" she asks.

"I'm part Human. Specifically the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life... Rose Tyler." He pauses. His eyes travel over to me and I nod, encouraging. He turns back to Rose. "I could spend it with you. If you want."

You know that feeling when your heart crashes in on itself and your stomach drops and your throat tightens. Yeah. Me too.

"You'll grow- grow old at the same time as me?"

"Together."

I look down at the sand, making small circles in it with my toes. I look up as the Tardis makes a strange grinding noise.

"We've gotta go," the Doctor says. "This reality's sealing itself off. Forever."

The Metacrisis and I meet eyes again. As Rose goes to stop the Doctor from leaving, the Metacrisis comes over to me. He takes my hands, eyes never leaving mine.

"He feels the same," he whispers. "He does. I'm sure he'll come around. But I had to tell you. As a good-bye present."

The tears are falling freely. "But… what about…?"

He shakes his head. "Nah, you're meant for bigger things than this universe, Lillian Meyers. I've seen it. From River." He pulls me in for a hug. "Think of it this way. You win over Rose. Big time."

I laugh even through the tears. "I wish there were some way I could see you again. We could have been such great friends."

"Oh, Lily," he shakes his head. "We already are. You're my sister in every way possible. And I love you like family."

I pull back, kiss his cheek. "Take care of her, ok? This is her happy ending."

He smiles, looking fondly over at Rose. "Always."

"Both of you, answer me this," Rose, the girl in question, says, speaking to the Doctor and the Metacrisis, who is now beside her. "When I last stood on this beach on the worst day of my life... what was the last thing you said to me?" She looks first at the Doctor. "Go on, say it."

He hesitates. "I said, 'Rose Tyler'."

"Yeah, and how was that sentence going to end?"

For some reason, the Doctor glances over at me. Rose follows his gaze. "Does it need saying?" he doesn't tell her.

Rose turns to the Metacrisis. "And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?"

He puts a hand on her arm, then leans down. "Rose Tyler… I love you…"

I think he said it out loud for my benefit.

I put a hand over my mouth to keep from sobbing in earnest. I turn away because I am a seriously hopeless romantic. And I do wish those two all the happiness in the universe.

Donna puts her arm around me, leading me back into the Tardis.

I glance over her shoulder, taking one last look at the Metacrisis, but he's busy kissing Rose. As it should be.

I wipe at my eyes as I make my way to the console, flopping onto the jump seat, ready for this to be over.

But it still isn't over yet.

The Tardis door closes as I wipe away the last of my tears. I look up at the Doctor. He's leaning against a pillar, clearly devastated.

I pull myself back up to my feet and walk over to him, brushing past Donna as she sends the Tardis into the time vortex. The Doctor's old, tired eyes watch me as I, well, nearly launch myself into his arms. I hug his middle like he's my favorite stuffed animal.

"I'm sorry," I whisper into his jacket.

He smoothes my hair, but otherwise he's stiff. "It's ok," he whispers.

"I thought we could try the planet Felspoon... just 'cos." Donna is saying at the console. "What a good name, 'Felspoon'. Apparently it's got mountains that sway in the breeze. Mountains that move. Can you imagine?"

The Doctor's voice rumbles in his chest. "And how do you know that?"

I lift my head up as Donna continues. "Because it's in your head! And if it's in your head, it's in mine."

"And how does that feel?"

I remove myself from the Doctor. I'm about to lose another friend. The least I can do is be brave enough to pay attention to her during her last minutes remembering me.

"Brilliant! Fantastic! Molto bene! Great bit of universe packed into my brain. You know you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just try and hotbind in the fragment links and superseding the binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary." She gasps. "I'm fine! Nah, never-mind Felspoon. You know who I'd like to meet? Charlie Chaplin. I've heard he's great, Charlie Chaplin. Shall we do that? Shall we go and see Charlie Chaplin?" She picks up a phone, speaking into it. "Shall we? Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chester, Charlie Brown. No, he's fiction, friction, fiction, fixen, mixen, rixten, brixton."

Gasping again, she doubles over, clutching at the console. As she puts a hand to her head, I step forward, following the Doctor to her side.

"Oh, my God," she says.

The Doctor regards her with sadness. "Do you know what's happening?"

"Yeah."

"There's never been a Human-Time Lord metacrisis before now."

"Because there can't be." She turns to look at me. "But she's ok. How come she gets to stay!"

I reach for her, but she pulls away. "I didn't get the mind, Donna. I don't really understand what I got." I go to cross my arms, but then I notice my fingers. They're glowing gold.

Donna and the Doctor have noticed too.

"Regeneration energy," the Doctor says, shocked. "But how…?"

I shrug. "How is anything possible, Doctor?"

That's when the idea hits me.

My entire hands are now glowing. The regeneration energy is radiating off them. I look up at Donna.

"Donna, look at me," I say. She does, but she's still hurting.

"The rest of my life... traveling... in the Tardis. The Doctor-Donna." She starts shaking her head. "No. Oh, my God… I can't go back. Don't make me go back. Doctor... please. Please, Lily, don't make me go back."

The Doctor starts stepping towards her. "Donna. Oh, Donna Noble. I am so, so sorry. But we had the best of times. The best."

It's now or never.

I sprint past the Doctor, reaching Donna first. I take her head in my hands.

The regeneration energy swirls in her eyes as she screams.

"What are you doing?" the Doctor cries.

But I can't speak. I'm trying to will this stuff into her. Maybe it can fix her. Maybe…

But instead… instead Donna disappears.

I stumble forward. Specks of regeneration energy glitter in the air, settling on my skin. Absorbing.

"What did you do?" the Doctor growls.

I turn to him. "I was trying to heal her," I say. "I didn't… I don't know how…" I cover my now normal hands over my mouth, gasping. Then I drop my hands. "Is this like the Ood and the eterziel?"

"What Ood? Where is Donna?"

I ignore his questions, speaking quickly instead. "I touched the Ood and it went away. Same with the eterziel. No one remembered them. For all intensive purposes, erased from time." I gasp again. "Has the same thing happened to Donna? Why does this keep happening?" I spin back to him. "Doctor?"

He's at the console, pushing some buttons. He regards me with sad eyes. "What are you talking about?"

I grab his lower arms. "Why do people keep disappearing around me?"

He regards me a moment. "We had to leave them, Lily. The Metacrisis was too dangerous. Rose… Rose will take care of him."

I step back. "I wasn't talking about them. I was talking about Donna!"

"Who?"

I step even further back. "That's not funny."

His head cocks to the side. "I wasn't trying to be. Who's Donna? I'm not sure I know a Donna. Well… Donna Summer… cheeky bird. Great singing voice. For some reason she loved my bum."

He doesn't remember her. It's like she never existed.

Which leads to the big question: how did we save the universe?

"Now," the Doctor says, shaking off his sad mood. "I believe I owe you a holiday, Miss Meyers. Just you and me. Anywhere you want."

I want to ask him. How we saved everything. But I'm not sure I want to know the answer. It makes Donna… less real. Because she was real. Wasn't she?

The Doctor smiles down at me. "Where would you like to go, Lily?" He pulls something out of his pocket and holds it out to me.

It's a Tardis key.

Finally.

_Lily's timey-wimey adventures aren't over yet! Check out her new set of adventures in Stuck In A Timestream. Coming soon!_


	51. 18: An Actual Holiday

**OK, here's the dealio. If you've been following this for a while, you might be confused. This chapter was the first chapter the Stuck in a Timestream, which I have ditched. Starting clean here. This chapter was fine, so I just tweaked a few things. If you're just joining us, you have no idea what I'm talking about, in which case you are better off. Ignore everything I just said and enjoy this fluffy chapter.**

**.18.**

**An Actual Holiday**

Sighing, I dip my fingers into the soft, chalk-like sand. The book in my lap, momentarily forgotten, falls off my lap and into the gray dust. I brush Lizzie Bennet's face clean, tracing the curves of the words _Pride and Prejudice_, slightly embossed on the paperback cover. I place the book back in the Tardis and stick my toes in the sand, wiggling them. The blue door of the Tardis, the most wonderful and awesome ship ever created, bumps against my back. I push it away with one hand while tracing a circle into the sand with another. The sand is so soft, like fine baby powder.

I close my eyes and lift up my chin, reveling in this amazing, impossible moment. I open my eyes again and take in the gorgeous sight of the green, blue, and white planet before me. A planet that looks just like the one I came from about, oh, three or four years ago by my timestream. Give or take a few hundred years. Because what is time, really? It feels like a straight line at first, but when you travel in the Tardis, you quickly learn that time isn't straight at all and in fact it is just a big pile of yarn that the cat played with and knotted together.

Or, as some would say, time is just a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff.

So, where was I? Oh yes. I'm dangling my legs out of the doorway of the Tardis and into the sand or dust or dirt or whatever of the moon. Earth's moon. Special request by yours truly. I mean, who wouldn't want to go to the moon? I have my own personal reasons for wanting to, of course, but still. Anyone would want to sink their toes into the moon.

I hope there's no such thing as a moon virus.

The Doctor, wearing his blue suit, sits next to me. I guess he decided to stop tinkering with the Tardis. He's been there for hours, fixing things that probably don't need fixing. He's silent for a moment, taking in the view of the earth and stars. I take the moment of his distraction to steal some glances of him.

This regeneration (the 10th) is skinny for sure and normally not my type. But take one good hard look into those wide brown eyes and that infectious crazy smile and you would see what the big deal is. His dark hair defies gravity, sticking up and out in the front. His side burns are too long and his suit is too tight. He has this addiction to Converse sneakers that I don't really understand, since half the time we're running either away or toward evil on an adventure. But he's just… adorable.

Not long from now, he's going to become a completely different man. I used to prefer that man. Now I'm not so sure.

He finally looks at me. I blush, ducking my head away. I hope he didn't catch me staring. He doesn't say anything. He just keeps looking at me.

Anyway, half the time, I'm sure the Doctor is going to strand me somewhere or force my malfunctioning vortex manipulator to take me somewhere so that he doesn't have to worry about losing me. He hates losing people, so he's on this kick that he should be traveling alone right now. Which is complete crap, by the way. The last person in any universe who needs to be alone is the Doctor.

But what do I know? I'm just a weird chick who was once obsessed with a TV show.

Thinking about the TV show makes me think about my home universe. And I kinda don't want to think about that, because I don't think I'm ever going to be able to get back there.

I stand, my feet sinking a few inches in the moon. I start to take a step, but can't make myself do it. What if that lack of earth-like gravity makes me float away, out of the force field of air. I don't want to suffocate in the cold universe. Alone.

"When I was little," I find myself saying. "My dad used to tell me the moon was made of cheddar cheese and that all the cheddar on earth was from the moon. That's why there are craters." I giggle at the memory. "He was a professor of psychics at MIT, so of course I believed him. Why wouldn't the moon be made of cheese? My daddy knew everything. We used to joke that someday we would go to the moon and sink our toes into the cheesy goodness." I kick at the dust gently.

"Was?" the Doctor asks, voice deep.

I stare at the earth, so small and impossibly huge all at the same time. "He died. He and my mom. Car accident. Two years before I came here. I had just graduated from college." A tear falls down my face. "My mother taught high school english. She hated Shakespeare. She didn't think he should be read; he had to be seen. To her, Jane Austen was the best, because they might seem like insipid novels about marrying above your station, but…" I can almost hear my mother's voice as I say this. "But in reality, they are about women trying to achieve their best in a society when they were kept down." My voice cracks.

The Doctor stands, placing his hand on my shoulder. I stand as still as possible, squeezing my fists, trying to to break down. The tears are falling, but I refuse to let them win.

"She used to tell me why Mr. Darcy was the best romantic hero and how much he reminded her of my father." The words are just tumbling out, like I've opened the dam and the water is forcing it's way out of the small cracks. "Because even though Daddy loved her from the beginning, he wouldn't admit it. He was a thinker and she was a dreamer. He hated books, unless they were non-fiction. He thought novels were a waste of time, unbefitting of someone with their PhD in how the universe works. But he loved my mother. So much." I run a hand through my short hair. "He supported her dream to become a writer. When she finally published a book, he threw her this huge party. When they… died… they were coming back from a book signing." I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm talking about this. I haven't thought about them since before I came to this universe."

The Doctor, surprisingly, pulls me into his arms, crushing me against his chest. "Don't apologize, Lily. It's all right."

I bury my face into his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him… the fresh smell of the universe. "My mother loved lilies. It's part of why they named me Lillian. She always had a vase of lilies around…any type of lily, it didn't matter, she thought they were all beautiful." I pull back, wiping my nose. He hands me a handkerchief. I blow my nose. "She used to pluck one of the buds from a vase and make me sniff it. 'You're my blossom,' she would say. 'My favorite of the lilies.'"

He pulls me in again, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. "I like that." He pauses, then, rubbing my back with his hands, he continues. "I'll take you to this planet that is completely full of lilies someday. When you're ready. If you want."

I don't answer. I just lay my head on his shoulder.

We stand that way for a minute. It's one of those moments that you never want to end. But at the same time, it kills you to stand in it.

So I back away from him, blowing my nose again as an excuse.

He sticks his hands in his pockets, making circles in the moondust with the toe of his red Converse. Then he looks up at me and offers me his hand, very gentleman-like. "Miss Meyers," he says, adopting a proper English accent. "May I have the pleasure of taking a turn around the moon with you?"

I laugh. "Won't we suffocate?"

"Around the Tardis, then," he says, not missing a beat. "We'll stay in the diameter of the air shell. I've extended it about… ten feet out?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" I tease.

He grins, winking at me. Instead of saying anything, he takes my hand, leading me in a walk. And by walk, I mean… well, you've seen what it's like walking on the moon. It's like jumping on a trampoline, except… more weightless. I think. It's hard to describe.

Pretty soon we're laughing, skipping about, daring to jump higher and higher.

That's when I let go of his hand. And jump too high and too far. I feel myself floating away, and, panicking, I yelp. "DOCTOR!"

He grabs my hand and pulls me to him. But he underestimated how much strength he needed. So we both fall inches from the side of the Tardis. He lands on his back, gray dust puffing everywhere. I land on top of him, stopping my head from banging into his chin just in time. But are faces are awfully close.

"Well," he says, staring at me. "I suppose I don't know my own strength on the moon."

"Ya think?" I ask, scrambling off him. As I stand, he sits up, grabbing my hand again. He pulls once and I fall flat on my bottom, practically in his lap. "Doctor, wha—?"

But the word is cut off.

Because he kisses me.

My stomach jumps into my chest and my heart leaps into my throat. His hands cup my face; my own hands are digging into the moon.

He pulls away after a moment, slowly, licking his lips. After looking at me for a moment, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs, he presses one more kiss to my lips, though it's must shorter and more chaste.

"I've heard of kissing in the moonlight," I say, once again coming down with a case of verbal diarrhea. "But never kissing in the earthlight."

He chuckles. "Let's pretend we're the first."

We. For some reason, that makes my stomach jump again.

We stare at each other for a moment. I have no idea what's going through that Time Lord mind of his, but mine is going to fast, even I can't keep track of the flow of the thoughts. I'm thinking it's basically just my mind exploding and imploding all at the same time.

Then, the Doctor smiles, wiping at my cheek. This makes his laugh harder.

"What?" I ask, touching my cheek.

"You have moon on your face. Moon face."

The ridiculousness of the statement make me push his shoulder, clucking. "Whatever," I laugh, looking away.

He grabs me again, grabbing my chin, kissing me again. My heart is thumping against the Tardis key on the chain around my neck.

He pulls back after a moment. "I like your moon face." His eyes are lazy, his smile lopsided.

I swallow. "Is this a dream?"

His eyes search my face and he becomes serious. "I'm not quite sure."

I can't believe I'm about to do this. I lean in this time, pressing my lips against his, letting all the emotion I feel towards him pour out into the action. I run my fingers through that amazing hair. And, yes, it's every bit as amazing as I dreamed it would be. Soft. Supple. Easy to twirl around my fingers.

He pulls back. Again. I open my eyes, licking my lips. They feel puffy and raw. He's breathing heavily and I cannot tell what he's thinking. I glance up at his hair and giggle. His serious expression is quickly replaced by confusion.

"You have moon in your hair," I laugh. "Moon hair."

He looks up as if he could see his own hair. "Whatever," he jokes, mimicking my American accent.

Giggling, I run a hand through my own short locks (never get your hair cut on the planet Shan Shen) then crawl back to my feet. The Doctor follows a moment later, curling his hand into mine, swinging our arms back and forth.

"How do you feel about Victorian London for Christmas?" he asks as we enter the Tardis. I pull my hand away so that I can pick up my book.

I raise an eyebrow as I walk up to the console. "It is Christmas already?"

He grins at me, and, giving the moon dust in his hair and basically all over his body, it's pretty comical. "That's what a time machine is for, Lils."

I roll my eyes. "Please don't call me Lils, Doc." I toss the book onto the jump seat.

He just chuckles. "Very well, Blossom."

Well, that made my stomach jump. He hasn't called me that yet. Only 11 has called me that.

I clear my throat. "Victorian London sounds nice. Can I wear a pretty dress?"

But I never heard his answer.

My body buzzes with electricity, and, gasping, I'm transported somewhere else.

I land on my feet (which is a big deal, to be honest) in a park. I lean onto a tree for a second, allowing myself to catch my breath.

I told you! I freaking told you! Just when I'm getting somewhere with the Doctor, the stupid universe decides to take me away and plop me down on some stupid planet where I have to run around and try to figure what stupid thing I have to pretend I don't know anything about.

AND! To top it off! I'm not wearing any shoes!

I growl and punch the tree. Ow. Ok, not doing that again.

Shaking my hand to get the feeling back, I look around. No police box in sight. Strange. Usually I land somewhere near the Doctor. Ahead of me, a group of men are playing soccer. Ok, I must be in England or something, because lord knows I'm not in America. People don't play soccer in America.

Frowning, I step forward, wincing a bit at the pain of walking barefoot, for some reason drawn to the game. One of the men scored the last goal (that's what it's called, right? Haha, just kidding.) and the whole team has jumped on him, screaming. Except one kinda pudgy guy. He's standing there as if someone just kicked his dog.

Wait a second…

I start walking faster. A man with floppy brown hair breaks away from the pig pile and is walking away, arms in the air, triumphant. A girl with long straight brown hair walks up to him, clearly upset. He tries to calm her down.

My jaw drops as I see my future self slap the 11th Doctor across the face.


	52. 19: The Lodger I

**Ok, after this, no more chapters are reused. You have been warned. This ends completely different than last time. You've been warned.**

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><p><strong>.19.<strong>

**The Lodger I**

So, it's not the first time that I saw myself from the future. It seems to be an ongoing trend. When I woke up in the hospital on the moon, I was there. When I woke up in the cave with the eterziel, I was there. I keep saving myself. But... this seems different. Future Me doesn't seem to know I'm here…or is at least ignoring me. Which means she's not here to save me from something. I can't help but get a bad feeling as I watch her argue with the Doctor. I'm still just too far away to hear her words, but the stiff posture doesn't help. Part of me wants to go tackle her and hold her down until she tells me what happened to make her treat the Doctor like that. But that could be a very bad thing. The last thing I need is to blow up time by touching my future self.

Though, come to think of it, this whole situation (i.e. my being here in general) breaks all the rules of time. I mean, I've touched my past and future selves and time didn't blow up, so what's that all about?

A man comes up to Future Me and the Doctor. He puts a hand on her shoulder (I know it's me, but it seems more appropriate to talk about myself in third person in this case). Whoever he is, he's trying to calm her down. I squint, as if from this distance it will make his features less blurry. I start walking forward, careful, slow. I've walked a few yards when the man's face clicks. I stop in my tracks again, gasping.

Is that...?

But he's got his arm around Future Me. Her head buries into his shoulder. He says something to the Doctor, and then the man guides her away. I swallow, watching. He's tender with her. With me. He clearly loves her. Loves me.

They fade away into the distance.

And that's when I find my energy. Bare feet pounding against the cold grass, I run. I know who that was. It doesn't make sense, but it had to have been him. It had to be.

But the question is how? How... and why?

My heart is threatening to break out of my chest. His name is forming on my lips, ready to spill out, even though I can't see him anymore and even though part of me knows this isn't the right time.

I'm not watching where I'm running and I don't even know where I am when I collide into someone.

My head smacks against a chin and suddenly I see those metaphorical stars.

"Owww..." I whine, stumbling back, clutching my head. A pair of hands grab me, keeping me from falling back.

"Watch where you're going, Lillian," the Doctor scolds. I open my eyes to see his finger pointed in my face. "You never know who you're going to run into."

I rub my forehead. "Yeah, well... whatever." Yup. Intelligent today.

The Doctor opens his mouth to assumedly scold me some more, but then it falls open and he stares at me. Then looks behind him, then back to me, and behind himself again. Comical to anyone outside us, I'm sure.

"Lily!" the Doctor exclaims, grabbing both of my shoulders again. "Where did you come from?"

"The Tardis," I say, feeling my head, wincing at the tender spot.

His eyes grow wide. "The Tardis? Where did it land? Where's Amy? How did it land? Where are your shoes?"

I give him a confused look, and then remember where we are in his timestream. The Lodger. My other future self must be on the Tardis with Amy and the Tardis can't land right now because of the disturbance from that other Tardis or spaceship or whatever.

"Oh, not that Tardis," I say, waving him off. "Tardis in the past. Actually..."

But he interrupts me. By licking my face.

I jump back, screaming out. I wipe at my face. "Ew! What was that for?"

He's staring at me in shock. "You have moon on your face."

Here I start to blush a little bit. "I just came here from the moon. Do you remember that?" His look has increased from shocked to extremely shocked. "We ran around the moon and I almost jumped out of the air shell, but you saved me."

Now I really am blushing. I gaze down at the grass, then back up at him. His eyes are wide, unbelieving. Then, grinning, he jumps me, hugging me, crushing me against his chest.

"Oh, you brilliant girl!" he exclaims, laughing. "I could kiss that vortex manipulator."

The Doctor lifts me up, spinning me into a circle. I laugh, clutching his shoulders so that I don't slide out of his grip.

Once he sets me down, he grabs my hand. "Come meet my new friends." He takes my hand, leading me over to a park bench. I recognize Craig and… Sophie? Yeah, Sophie. Even though I kinda recognize the others, I don't remember their names.

The Doctor stops at the bench, grabbing his tweed coat and slipping it on. "Lily, this is Craig and Sophie. Craig is my new flatmate. Sophie is his friend." He gestures to them and then to me. "Craig and Sophie, this is my friend Lily."

Sophie laughs, pulling me in for a hug. "Oh, I know Lily, of course!" she says. I return her hug half-heartedly.

Uh oh.

"You do?" the Doctor asks, confused and alarmed.

"Yeah," Sophie answers, a little confused as she looks at me. "She's my cousin's… Wait, when did you get your hair cut? And where are you shoes?" Then, while my jaw is working up and down, she continues. "And aren't you supposed to be in London for preparations?"

Her cousin? Preparations? This so doesn't sound good…

I swallow as Sophie, Craig, and the Doctor watch me with various looks of confusion. "Uh… I just got back from London." Probably better not to say anything about my hair.

She seems to take that at face value, thank god. "Well, I have the perfect dress picked out. Remember how I almost bought that yellow one?" I nod, dazed, just to keep her going. "Well, instead I bought this gorgeous purple one with a slit in the back. It's nice and fitted. But, come to think of it, I hope the purple doesn't clash too much with your colors. But, anyway, how do you know the Doctor?"

My mind with whirling. Once again, the Doctor steps in. "Oh, we go way back." He puts an arm around my shoulders. "Did you see me during the match, Blossom?"

Before I can answer, a tall man in a matching uniform comes over to us all with a blue plastic bag. He pulls out a can and tosses it at Craig, though he speaks at the Doctor. "You are so on the team! Next week we've got the Crown and Anchor, we'll annihilate them!"

The Doctor's arm drops from around me and he steps into the man's face. "No violence, not while I'm around, not today, not ever." I put a hand on his shoulder, but he keeps going. "I'm the Doctor, the oncoming storm... and you meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?"

The guy nods, a little scared. "Yeah."

"Lovely, what sort of time?" the Doctor smiles.

Craig opens the can beer. It explodes, spraying him in the face. Everyone laughs.

Then it happens again. And again.

And again.

The Doctor looks at me, realizing that I'm not stuck in the time loop, and takes my hand. He leads me away from the group, pressing a button on the blue-tooth like thing on his ear that I just noticed.

"Amy?" the Doctor says. "Lily?" I start to answer, then realize he's not talking to me. He's talking to the Lily in the Tardis. I close my mouth. He pauses, listening. "What does the scanner say?" Another pause. He closes his eyes. "Yes, yes, it's...it's good! Zigzag plotter, zigzag plotter, Lily." The Doctor pulls me to that I'm standing in front of him. He puts his hands on my shoulders and stares at me as he's listening. Our eyes meet. I want to ask him what Sophie was talking about, but I know this isn't the time.

Hell, it's never the time, is it?

I hear twin screams, tiny and tinny, from the Doctor's earpiece. "Lily? Amy?" He's nervous now, but then he's relieved. "Ah, thank heavens. I thought the Tardis had been flung off into the vortex with you inside it, lost forever." He pulls me suddenly, crushing me against his chest. He kisses the top of my head. I cling to him, because I have no idea what's going on and it's scaring me. Well, I mean, I know what's going on with the Doctor and Amy and apparently another future version of myself in the Tardis, but…

Preparation? What did Sophie mean by preparations?

"How are the numbers?" the Doctor asks.

From his earpiece I hear a disembodied Scottish girl say, "All fives."

"Fives?" The Doctor and I look over his shoulder. Sophie, Craig, and all them are talking and laughing, no longer in the time loop. "Even better. Still, it means the effect's almost unbelievably powerful and dangerous, but don't worry." He lets me go. "Hang on, OK? I've got some rewiring to do." He pushes the button on the earpiece. "I think you should go."

It takes me a second to realize that he's talking to me now. "Go?"

"Yes," He sticks his hands in his pockets. "Sophie knows you. It's your future. That's very dangerous."

I cock my head to the side. "Does this have something to do with Future Me slapping your face?"

He freezes, alarmed. "You saw that?"

I cross my arms. "Yes. What was that about?"

He shakes his head slowly. "I honestly don't know…" His tone is full of wonder and confusion. Then he shakes his head quickly. "But it doesn't matter. You have to go, Lily."

Before I can retort, Sophie pops up from behind him. "Sorry," Sophie says. "Don't mean to be rude, but was that Michael earlier? I thought that was you with him, but you're here now."

I died. I just had a heart attack and died.

The Doctor slowly turns to her. "Michael?"

Sophie nods. "Yeah, Michael is my cousin."

"Michael is your cousin?" the Doctor repeats, toneless.

"Yeah…" she gives him a strange look. "He is. Didn't she tell you?"

"Tell him what?" I ask. The Doctor gives me a sharp look, but I ignore her.

Sophie looks between the both of us. "Oh… is this the guy?" She points at the Doctor. "The one you told me about, Lils?"

I look between the two of them, one inquisitive, one getting angry. "Yes…?"

"Wow," Sophie says, taking a step back. "Sorry. I'll let you two have it out then. Better now than the big day, right?"

"Sorry… big day?" the Doctor asks.

She gives me an almost pitying look. "You should probably tell him." She backs away, leaving us alone now.

I stare at where she was. My brain isn't even working anymore.

"You need to go right now," the Doctor says, grabbing my left wrist, the one with the vortex manipulator. "You can't stay here, it's too dangerous."

But I'm just staring at nothing. My brain is officially fried.

The Doctor drops my wrist, taking my face in his hands instead. "Look at me. Lily!" I look at him, but I don't really see him. "Don't think about it. This is years into your future. Oh, I should have known when I saw you earlier…" He hits his head a couple times. "No, you need to leave right now and you need to forget this ever happened."

"I'm going to see Michael again?" The words, somehow, are neutral.

The Doctor sighs. "You don't know if it's the same Michael, Blossom. You don't know what Sophie is talking about."

But I make the conclusion anyway.

"Doctor," I whisper. "Am I going to marry Michael?"

"Lily, stop," he takes my face in his hands again.

I search those hazel eyes, so young and ancient all at the same time. "Why did I slap you?" I ask.

"I can't tell you that." His hands drop to my shoulders.

"Doctor…" I grip his coat, twisting the tweed in my hands.

His forehead rests against mine. "Lily, please don't ask this of me."

I sigh. My hands slid up to his shoulders as well. "I know. I'm sorry."

We stand there a few moments, just watching each other. He's as freaked out about this as I am.

Maybe the vortex manipulator breaks and I get stuck on Earth and I have no way to contact the Doctor and so I just move on with my life and I find Michael and we get fall back in love and we get married and live not so happily ever after, because how could I possible do that when I'm not in love with him, because I'm in love with the Doctor.

Because that's the truth, through and through. I'm so over Michael. Been over him for a while. Because that was just a fantasy. A time that could have happened, but really didn't happen. It was real, but it wasn't.

One thing you learn in the Tardis: things will happen as they are meant to happen. And even if they do happen, they can still be erased.

The Doctor closes his eyes. "You said… you said I abandoned you." He shakes his head. "But that's not possible. I would never, ever abandon you, Lily."

I hesitate, but then I press a kiss to his cheek. "I know," I say. But I don't really believe it. "You wouldn't. Maybe I just get lost. Maybe… I don't know." I step away from him. "This is all so fucked up anyway. One second we're making out in the moon dust and the next I'm watching my future self slap your face. I'm too tired to think anymore."

I glance over at Sophie and Craig. They're too slow to look away—I know they've been watching us.

"I should go," I say.

The Doctor doesn't look at me. "Yeah."

"I don't want to mess with… whatever's going on."

"For the best."

"I'll just file this away for later."

We're in an awkward silence now. Gee, this would be a nice time for

I give a little wave. "K, bye. Have fun with Craig." He doesn't say anything, so I just walk away.

I don't even know where I'm going. I just walk blindly. Blindly, because my eyes are filling with tears and everything's a little blurry now. I turn at the nearest corner and lean against a building.

But three seconds before I can start to cry, a hand grabs mine.

As the tears fall, my vision clears, and it's the Doctor. But it's also not. Because I have never seen the Doctor look like this before. Oh, it's not a new Doctor. It's definitely 11. He's just looks… different. His outfit is weird. It looks like it's closer to Victorian than 80's New Wave Hipster Nerd. I do like the vest, though. And the long jacket.

But that's not really what's different. He looks… so old.

He doesn't say anything. He just wipes away my tears. His own eyes are sad.

"What?" I ask.

He ruffles my hair. "I'm just reminding myself of something." His eyes lighten with amusement. He's playing with the short strands, twisting a patch between his fingers.

I close my eyes and raise my chin. The back of my head digs into the brick, strands of hair snagging against mortar. "What could you possibly need to remind yourself right at this exact moment and place in time?"

"That you love me."

My eyes snap open.

My mind just exploded.

I laugh. It's not sarcastic, either. I'm just laughing and laughing because this whole day is insane.

"And why," I say between giggles. "Would you need to be reminded of that at this exact moment and place in time?"

He stuffs his hands into his pockets. "Because I'm about to do something that could be considered very stupid and… this exact moment and place in time seemed like a good place to go."

I wipe my face. "I'd ask, but I honestly don't want to know right now. I might go officially insane."

"Sorry," he says. "Can I talk to River?"

My gaze flicks up and down his weird outfit. "Is that really why you are here?"

He doesn't say anything. Those sad eyes just watch me.

I shake my head. "I don't even know how to bring her out. And if I did, I'm mad at you, so I wouldn't do it anyway, because you're so…"

But my sentence is cut off.

The Doctor is kissing me.

And suddenly I'm shoved so far into my mind that I have no idea what's going on.

"Hello, sweetie."

That's the last thing I hear before my own mind is closed against me.


	53. 20: New Earth Part One

**HAPPY TWELFTH DOCTOR DAY! I LITERALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW! LALALA!**

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><p><strong>.20.<strong>

**New Earth**

**Part One**

I wake up. And I have no idea where I am. I'm sitting on a bench next to a parking lot. The Tardis is parked in the middle of it. Around me are a bunch of apartment buildings. A faint twinge at my left wrist tells me that I was brought here by the vortex manipulator.

Frowning, I sit up. I rub my temples. My head hurts, like I drank too much whiskey the night before.

_Sorry_, says the voice in my head. The voice one River Song. _I wanted some time alone with him._

Him, of course, being the Doctor.

"Never do that again," I mumble. "I mean it."

_He wanted me to._

"You're just saying that because you're a psychopath."

_Do you know why I'm inside you, Lillian?_

"Been a bit busy. Haven't really had time to think about that."

_You might want to. Your time is running out._

"Why don't you just tell me?"

_Spoilers._

"I hate you."

River just laughs. And her voice echoes away. And she's gone.

At least for now.

I can still feel her in there, smiling, laughing. Grumbling, I push myself off the bench. The headache fades away. Oh, it was just River giving me a headache. Amazing.

I march over to the Tardis, pulling the key out from underneath my shirt. I let myself in, shutting the door behind me. I lean against the doors and close my eyes a moment. I'm just so tired. Can I just, like, sleep for a week? Please?

Part of my misses my old bed in my old world. I want to curl up with a good book and a cup of tea. Maybe watch a movie. When was the last time I just sat and watched a movie? Sorry, what's a movie again?

I sigh and open my eyes.

The golden console room. It's 10's Tardis. Ugh! 11 has disappeared on me. Again. (Yes, I know I probably disappeared on him. Whatever. I'm still mad.)

I run my fingers over the console as I pass it. My fingertips tickle. Even though she probably only likes me because River's inside me, I still get comfort when the Tardis says hello.

"Do I have a room?" I ask.

She chirps in my head and I know that means yes. I smile and climb down to the hallway. I take a couple turns, then turn around and take a few more turns. Then I climb up some stairs and down a spiral staircase. And then for some reason I have to take an elevator down ten stories. Finally I find my door.

"Hidden, eh?" I tease the Tardis as I enter my room.

Just how I left it. I don't get how that happens, but it does. Every time.

I take a quick shower to wash the moon out of my hair. Then, wrapped in a big fluffy towel, I flop onto the bed. My eyes start falling. I only need a few minutes of sleep…

* * *

><p>I'm staring at doodles on a note pad in a cafe in New York. The cafe is empty, though the giant fireplace roars with fire. Most of the walls are windows. The counter is made of glass and the dessert tray is empty. The trees outside are losing their bright leaves. It's dry and cold in here. There's lava outside.<p>

A cloister bell bangs as the door opens. I look up from my cup of blood. Dead eyes stare at me. He's wearing a blue pin-stripe suit and his hair is sticky-upy, just like the last time I saw him.

"Hello, my love," he snarls, sitting in front of me.

"Oh," I pick up the cup of blood. "I forgot about you." The cup tumbles from my fingers and smashes onto the checkered floor. Blood and porcelain everywhere.

"I noticed." He throws a cup of tea against the window. It doesn't spill. "You need to think. Things must have been quite exciting for you of late."

I reach over the table and run my fingers through his hair. I blink. In a flash, an Ood is standing behind him, holding a bright translating globe. Kyle the vampire snarls at me. Silence everywhere. I blink and we are alone again.

"I don't understand," I whisper. My fingers are covered in blood. I sit back and wipe my hands on my jeans. "I didn't mean to forget you. It's just… I'm not quite myself."

"You were never yourself. You never had that choice."

I look at my reflection in the window. River's face is superimposed over mine.

"Daniel, how long have I been gone?" We're holding hands now.

"Too long," he squeezes my hand and my bones shatter. "They're almost here."

I lean forward. "Who?"

But Daniel's gone.

In his place is Michael.

"Let me go," he says.

I stand up. "I did let you go."

His kid eyes are sad. "I'm not what you need."

Tick, tock.

"I know" My lips don't move, but the words are said out loud.

"Turn around."

I turn.

There's a mirror. But my reflection is River.

"Get out of my head," I say. I punch the mirror, but nothing happens. "This isn't your life."

"I didn't ask for this either," she says. She reaches a hand out, through the mirror. "I just want peace."

I slap her hand away. She bursts into crows. The mirror falls on me, shattering. Chunks of mirror slices through my skin.

My blood is gold dust.

* * *

><p>I wake up, gasping.<p>

So much for rest.

I'm more tired than before, but I don't even bother trying to go back to sleep. My eyes feel puffy. I stumble out of bed and throw the towel off me.

I empty my stomach into the toilet.

I lay there, sobbing, shivering. And I don't know why.

Fifteen minutes later, I climb back to my feet. I brush my teeth, wash my face again, and I slip into a floral sundress to try to lighten my mood. I tug on some black tights and a pair of combat boots. Then I leave my room.

Which is now right next to the console room.

I can feel the Tardis in my head. She's trying to comfort me. I let her. But someday, that Doctor and I are going to have a BIG conversation. Even if I have to superglue his hand to the vortex manipulator so that neither of us can escape. I can only take so much stress. Even my dreams are messed up.

I hear the Tardis doors open, so I straighten my shoulders and enter the console room.

The Doctor is calibrating the Tardis. I can't judge his mood from behind, so I hesitate, taking a few deep breaths. Then I plaster a smile on my face. I will be in a better mood. In fact, I take a second to admire his bottom in that brown pinstripe suit. See? Already better!

I may be mad at him, but that's the future. This Doctor isn't nearly as annoying. Yet.

I creep behind him. "What's up, Doc?" I joke in my best Bugs Bunny voice.

The Doctor jumps a mile. He spins to me. His face is a comical array of scared, confused, and concerned.

"What?" he says.

I just beam at him. "Sorry, I've always wanted to do that."

"What?"

"I know, I know, it's a lame joke. Amused me, though."

"How did you get in here?"

I stroll around the console. "You gave me a key." Figures, I must have gone pretty far back. "Or will give me a key? Either way, I have one now?"

"Sorry, do I know you?"

That makes me freeze. "Oh." I put my hands up and step away from the console. He's pointing the sonic screwdriver at me. Well, this is new. "Um… Sorry. I thought…"

Great. Thanks, Tardis, for not telling me. Next time write a note or something, ok?

"I'm Lily," I say. No recognition. "Lillian Meyers? I think we've met… Anyway, we know each other. In the… future, I guess." I laugh, but it's humorless. "You'd think I'd be better at explaining this sort of thing."

Recognition lights up his eyes. He tucks the sonic screwdriver away. "Lily. Right. I've met you once before."

Once.

Well, ain't that a stab in the heart?

I clear my throat and I can feel a babble bubbling up. Luckily, it doesn't get very far.

The Tardis jerks. I stumble into the console. She starts wheezing.

"What are you doing?" the Doctor yells. He runs around, flipping switches. "You can't leave yet!"

I pull the hand brake, but it does nothing. "She's doing this on her own!" I yell back.

"Oh, really?" the Doctor says. He his the console with a mallet. "I didn't realize that! Come on, we can't leave without Rose!"

I reach for the zig-zag plotter, but, wait, that's from the other Tardis and… Did he just say something about Rose?

We land with a crash. I fall into the console, just barely missing my nose. I lose my grip and fall right onto my ass.

"Where are we?" I ask.

The Doctor, who had managed to stay up, looks at the screen. "The same place I was getting ready to leave for."

He abandons the screen. "It's the year five billion and twenty three." I jump up as he runs past me. "We're in the galaxy M87, and this?" He opens the door and sticks his head out. "This is New Earth."

"New Earth?" I say.

He closes the door. "Yup," he pops the p. "But it doesn't matter. I'm going to take us back."

He passes me and I whirl around. "We're going back?"

"I was trying to bring Rose here. I don't want her to think that I abandoned her."

Oh, good god. I'd laugh at the irony if that wasn't so sad.

I tilt my head, really taking a good look at him. He's concentrating on calibrating the Tardis again, so I don't think he's paying attention to me. He looks young. His hair is weird. Not so much sticky-upy… but there's still lots of pomade. He's holding himself as if he doesn't really know how to use his body yet. And he's not so quick to smile.

He just regenerated.

I scratch at my scalp with both hands. My hair feels insane when I'm done, but I don't care.

I don't know what to say. I don't know how to fix this.

The Doctor slams against the console. "No!" He shouts. "Don't do this!"

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"The engines are cut off," he says. "No, sorry, not cut off. They're working, but the Tardis is redirecting the power."

I lean against a column. My back feels all tingly. "Maybe she wants us to stay." I feel the Tardis chirp. "You're needed here."

"And I'll come right back," he promises. He's jerking the hand brake back and forth. "As soon as I pick up Rose, we'll come right back."

He's having a maniac attack on the console. There's no other way to describe it. He looks like he's going crazy.

"She's being stubborn," I say a few minutes later. "For whatever reason, she wants us here. Without Rose."

He glares up at me. "Who are you? I don't even know you."

"You will. I promise," I sigh. "Look, would the Tardis let me in if she didn't trust me?"

That seems to make him think. Or at least angst all over the place.

"Maybe if we, like, I dunno, look around? Figure out what the Tardis brought us here for?"

He stares at me another moment. Then, resigned, he reaches into his jacket. "I got this message… Do you know what the psychic paper is?" I nod and he continues, holding out the psychic paper to me. "Someone wants to see me."

I take the psychic paper. It says, "Ward 26. Please Come."

"Where is Ward 26?" I ask.

"Hospital," he says, brushing past me. He opens the door, but steps back, holding it open for me. As I walk past him and step onto the bright green grass—why does it smell like sweet gala apples?—I can feel his eyes burning into me.

I don't like mistrustful Doctor. But what can I do?

"And where is this hos—Oh, that's gorgeous." I interrupt myself, taking a few steps forward. There's a city ahead of me, stretching high into the sky. Flying around everywhere are little dots. It takes me a second to recognize them. "Are those flying cars? Awesome! You know you're in the future, since there are flying cars." I beam up at the Doctor as he stops next to me.

He looks me over, his mouth spreading into a smile.

"What?" I ask at his sudden and welcome delight.

"I love that look," he says. "They all get that look. I bet Rose would have given the same look." He frowns, but then shakes his head. "Right, off to the hospital. The sooner we get there, the sooner we leave." He turns away from the city.

He starts walking in the direction of a tall building along the coast, opposite the rest of the city. It's vaguely familiar, so I follow behind the Doctor.

"Is this New New York?" I ask.

"Yes," the Doctor responds over his shoulder. "Well, strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York."

Oh. Ohhhh.

Oh.

Oh, I remember now. New New York. The hospital with the Catkind and The Face of Boe.

And Cassandra. Who takes over Rose's body.

And Rose isn't here to do that.

That can't be good.


End file.
